Shattered Emotions (Redwood Pack)

by Ryan, Carrie Ann

  It wasn’t easy being the Omega—an understatement if there ever was one.

  Maddox growled once more then stood up, leaving Patrick on the ground, his chin raised to bear his throat in submission.

  “We’ve brought Ellie into our Pack because she’s innocent,” Jasper said, his voice calm, soothing where anger would have worked just as well.

  “How do we know this?” Patrick spat, and Ellie wanted to slap the bastard. The wolf was walking a fine line, even though he had a right to speak his mind.

  Maddox stalked toward him again and leaned down. “Are you questioning your Alpha?”

  “Son, he has a right to question, as I’m not a sadistic ruler, but Patrick, watch your strengths,” Edward warned as he walked toward them. “We will discuss this later. Right now, though, you will show the proper respect and take care of our Pack mates behind you who have lost their lives. Their bodies are cold in shadow, yet you all stand here and accuse one another. I’m ashamed of you all.”

  Ellie lowered her eyes and bared her throat. Her eyes itched as tears threatened. She hadn’t forgotten Neil and Larissa, but she’d let her own worries overshadow thoughts of them.

  She didn’t deserve to call these wolves her Pack.

  She didn’t deserve anything but their ridicule and distrust.

  After all, she was the Central’s princess, the sister and daughter of the enemy. She was the one who was accused of killing their Pack mates.

  She was the one who deserved it all.

  No matter that, there wasn’t much left of her to fight back.

  Not after the torture, the beatings, the loss of her twin, her cousin, and so much more.

  Jasper nodded, everyone following suit. Edward faced her, and she ducked her head.

  This was it.

  She’d either be killed, forced to face the circle, or outcast altogether with no protection from Corbin or the demon by his side, Caym.

  “Go to my home, Maddox. Take Ellie with you,” her Alpha said, his voice so soft it broke her heart. “We’ll talk there.”

  Maddox took her hand again, and she closed her eyes, needing to feel him just for a moment before everything was taken away.

  She hated this version of herself. She used to be strong, self-reliant. Now, she was just a broken wolf who didn’t want to be here anymore.

  When she’d lost all hope, she’d discovered she didn’t really know who she was anymore.

  If she didn’t know that now, if she’d lost everything she ever was, how strong could she have been before?

  “Come on,” North said by her side. “We’ll talk about it all when we get there.”

  Maddox glared at his twin, and Ellie wanted to scream. She hadn’t meant to get in between the brothers. Maddox might have misconstrued her relationship with North, but she didn’t think he’d believe her, no matter what she said. This wasn’t the time to get into it anyway.

  She followed Maddox to Edward and Pat’s house, North following them. Jasper and Adam had stayed behind to deal with Larissa’s and Neil’s bodies. She bit her lip to control the sob that threatened to escape. She hadn’t known them well, but they’d been nice to her when they hadn’t had to. They’d welcomed her to the Pack because they were nice people and friends with the Jamensons.

  Now, they were gone, leaving behind two children who would never again hear their voices, see their smiles, or feel their touch.

  It wasn’t fair.

  Nothing was in life—a lesson Ellie had learned long ago. She just wished Gina and Mark hadn’t had to learn it so soon.

  They walked into the house, and Ellie clenched her fists at the sight before her. Mel held Gina and Mark in her arms while Kade wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Gina had found her parents’ bodies, so there was no hiding the deaths—not that they would anyway.

  At their entrance, Mel looked up, her eyes bloodshot, but her mouth in a thin line.

  “Did they find anything?” Mel asked, her voice surprisingly strong.

  Maddox pulled Ellie into the room as North answered. “No, just what you saw. We will find out though.” He knelt before the children as they sniffed at him, their little bodies shaking with their cries. He did a quick check up as everyone else spoke to be sure they were okay.

  “Take a seat. I know Dad said he’d be here soon,” Kade said, looking directly at her.

  She had no idea what was about to happen, but she’d take the time she could to compose herself. She didn’t like being this fragile, poor excuse for a wolf.

  There had to be something she could do.

  Maddox sat down on the other couch and pulled her to his side while North sat on her other. Kade looked at them, his brow raised.

  Great, just what she needed, a weird dominance battle between twins while she was confused beyond measure. She didn’t have time to worry about who wanted to mate her and what others thought about it.

  The kids grieving for their parents were more important than her.

  The door opened, and the rest of the family filed in. Reed and his two mates, Hannah and Josh, walked in, each man carrying one of their two-month-old twins. They were the triad of the Redwood Pack and had been the ones to rescue her when she’d done her best to save Josh from the demon.

  She owed them her life, even if others thought it hadn’t been worth it.

  Behind them, Cailin, the only daughter of the Alpha, walked in with Finn, Kade and Mel’s son on her hip. Finn wiggled out of his aunt’s hold and ran to his parents. Kade gathered him up in his arms, and Finn held his mother who held his friends, grief pouring out of the little boy who’d been through so much in his short life.

  Cailin glared at Ellie, a usual occurrence, her piercing green eyes examining and finding Ellie wanting. Ellie had never broken through the barrier with the Jamenson sister, no matter how hard she’d tried. She knew Cailin was the closest to Maddox, even closer than North from what she’d seen, and Ellie must have been not worth the dirt she stepped on.

  That was fine with her. Despite how Maddox was acting now, he didn’t want her anyway.

  Cailin sat on the floor in front of the loveseat where Josh, Hannah, and Reed had sat. Tears ran down her face, despite the glare she gave to Ellie.

  Adam came in walking with a slight limp, his mate, Bay, by his side and his son, Micah, in his arms. He’d lost his leg when Caym had ripped it from his body, and Ellie still had nightmares of how much pain the man would have been through. It was a testament to the agony Adam was in that he’d even show the limp in front of his family—and her—but she knew if anyone outside of family had been there he would have fought through the pain.

  Jasper and Willow followed, Willow holding their daughter, Brie. Where most families might have hidden their children from the pain of loss, the Redwood pack members were more than humans; they were also wolves. The children needed to know what was going on, even if they were only babies. They were all connected within the Pack, and no matter what, they would stand together.

  That idea was foreign to someone who’d grown up with the Centrals.

  Ellie didn’t know quite how she felt about that.

  Maddox squeezed her hand, and she looked down at their clasped fingers and blinked. She’d almost forgotten he’d still held her; that he hadn’t shied away from her when he could have.

  No one spoke. It was as if, once they did, the damn would burst. Besides, nothing would get done without the Alpha. They all sat in their dresses and suits, reminding her they’d been at a mating ceremony before this.

  It seemed like ages ago she’d felt jealous watching Adam and Bay kiss and share their love with the Pack. They’d deserved finally celebrating their mating, and now, the day was marred with tragedy.

  Ellie could feel the tension in the air, practically taste it. She could also see the tension in Maddox’s shoulders, and the urge to comfort him overwhelmed him. She knew he hated being in crowds—even with his family. He felt every emotion in the room, and right now, it had to be a
gonizing with the grief, anger, confusion, and so many more warring around them.

  She rubbed her thumb along his wrist, and he froze. Damn, she shouldn’t have done that. They weren’t mated, and he didn’t want her. She didn’t need to comfort him. Just as she was about to stop, his shoulders eased, and he let out a slight sigh.

  Thank the goddess.

  Ellie continued the small circles, knowing that she was avoiding the situation in front of her, but at least helping Maddox in a small way.

  Edward and Pat walked in, and she stiffened.

  Pat walked toward Gina and Mark and knelt, cupping both of their cheeks. “I’m so sorry, little ones,” she whispered, her voice soft but strong with the power of the Alpha.

  Mark held out his arms, and Pat picked him up, holding him to her chest while she whispered soothing words.

  Edward shook his head, sadness and anger marring his face. “We have a problem, and I see only one way to resolve it.”

  Ellie swallowed hard, and Maddox gripped her hand tighter, anchoring her.

  “We have a few problems, Edward,” Pat said as she rocked Mark, who was only five and too young to understand it all. Gina was eight and knew all too well her world had been shattered.

  “That we do, my love, that we do. First, How are we going to help them?” he asked as Gina and Mark looked toward them. “Normally, I would wait until you two weren’t here to talk about this, but you deserve a say, little ones.”

  Gina nodded, tears running down her cheeks.

  “You don’t have to worry about that,” Kade said, his voice stern. “We’ll take care of them.”

  Cailin gasped, and Ellie held back one of her own.

  “Kade—” Jasper started, and Kade shook his head.

  “I know it’s going to be an issue, but I’m not letting other people’s feelings get in the way of it. Gina and Mark will stay with us, and we will care for them as our own. Larissa and Neil would have wanted that.”

  Ellie swallowed as she thought of the implications of that. Kade was the Heir to the Pack, meaning he would one day be Alpha and one day Finn would be Heir. The rest of their children would hold the other key positions like the Beta, and most likely the Enforcer, Omega, and Healer once they were old enough to take them from those who currently held power.

  By taking in two children who were not of their blood, they were giving them a higher place in the hierarchy without the inherited power or real positions. The countless issues with that for the other wolves in the Pack, as well as within their own family, would need to be dealt with.

  Honestly, though, she thought Kade and Mel could handle it. The importance of taking care of those children would far outweigh the issues of hurt feelings and confusion.

  Edward finally nodded and let out a breath. “I’d assumed you’d do that. I know Gina and Mark won’t hold your power or take on any of the duties, but they will be family. Yes, it might be an issue for how others see it, but within our family we’ll make it work.” He looked toward the children. “You will always have your parents in your hearts and memories—in our hearts and memories—but you can be Jamensons now, and know we will always be by your side.”

  Mark nodded, too young to really understand what was happening, but Gina looked at them all before finally nodded, knowing there wasn’t another real option because Neil and Larissa had no other family within the Pack. With the state of war they were currently in, they couldn’t be left alone. Not that any of them in this room would allow that anyway.

  “Hannah, Willow, and Bay, can you take the children out to the other room for a minute? Cailin, go with them.”

  The women looked surprised for a moment, but they began to file out with the children. Ellie didn’t know why they had to go, other than the fact that they needed all the arms they could get to corral all the children. Soon, all the young were out of the room, and tension again filled the air.

  Edward turned to Ellie then and frowned. She lowered her gaze but faced him.

  This was it.

  This was her fate.

  “We know you didn’t do this, Ellie,” Edward said, and she finally broke, letting out a sob.

  “Why…why would someone do this?” she said, finally breaking her silence.

  Edward shook his head. “I don’t know, but that is something we all need to find out. However, we can’t do that with you here, Ellie.”

  Ellie’s head rose, and she gaped. Was he kicking her out of the Pack?

  “You’re still Pack, Ellie. I didn’t bring you in just to kick you out, but we need to do something about what happened. Clearly, we have someone within the Pack who is a traitor. Someone who used your scent to cover their own. They wanted us to blame you and kill you or kick you out. This smells of the Centrals. We know they didn’t want you to live after you left them.”

  She nodded, remembering the sting of the whip at her back—one of Corbin’s delights.

  She shuddered, and Maddox moved so he could wrap his arm around her shoulders. She sank into his side, not caring she’d have to take it all back later.

  “You’re going to have to leave the den, Ellie.”

  She blinked and nodded, knowing her time was up. “I know. Thank you for letting me stay here for as long as I have.”

  Maddox and North both growled beside her, but Edward held up his hand, his power washing over them all.

  “You’re not leaving the Pack, Ellie. We need to smoke out the traitor. To do that, I want to make him or her think we’re forcing you to leave the den for a bit. You will be leaving the den, but not the Pack. We want them to think we’ve turned our backs on you…at least some of us.”

  She shook her head, confused. “I don’t understand.”

  “You’re going to leave for a bit while we flush out the traitor. Then we’ll bring you back stronger than ever. The distrust in this Pack is too high for me to take at the moment, and I’m going to have to squash it. I’m the Alpha, and my word is law, but sometimes it takes more than words.”

  “We’re not letting her leave the den without protection,” Maddox growled, and she took in his warmth, greedy for anything she could get.

  Great, she wanted a man she couldn’t have, and she hated herself for it, but she’d put up that boundary later and learn to live without him—just like she’d always had to.

  “No, we’re not going to do that,” Edward said, his voice stern. “You’re going to go with her, son. We’ll make them think that you guys are leaving as well—choosing her over us. That will make the traitor and the Centrals think we’re breaking down from the inside. I’ll leave it to you to come up with a plan. North, as well. I don’t care what you have to do, but while we figure out the problem within our den walls, you three will figure out the problems that lay between you. Understand?”

  Ellie blinked as Maddox froze, North doing the same on her other side.

  Well, hell, if the Alpha’s word was law that meant they had to face their own issues.

  Finally, she’d find out why Maddox didn’t want her.

  Even if she was afraid of the answer.

  Chapter 3

  Maddox stuffed the last of his clothes in his bag and zipped it shut. With the amount of food, supplies, and other crap in it, if he hadn’t been a wolf, he wouldn’t have been able to lift the thing. He looked around his house and sighed. He knew he’d be back—soon if his family had any say about it—but he didn’t know what he’d come back to or who he’d be when he did so.

  His father had flat-out told him he needed to get his head out of his ass and deal with Ellie and North. Meaning he’d have to get over himself and Ellie while watching her finally mate his brother. It was the only option since he couldn’t mate her himself. There was no way he’d subject her to the powers and pain he had. He’d heard stories of how that happened between an Omega and mate.

  He cared for her too much for that.

  Yes, he’d own up to that, but that was it.

  He’d barely been able to
breathe while in the room with his family, their emotions choking him. Then Ellie had rubbed her thumb along his wrist, settling him. He hadn’t even thought it possible to quiet the emotions, the feelings, but she’d helped him that little bit.

  At what cost, he didn’t know.

  That was the unknown, the fear that lodged in his throat at the thought of mating her.

  He shouldn’t have held her hand or pulled her into his arms when she needed him. She had North for that and everything it entailed, but he’d let himself give into what he wanted, not what needed to be done.

  He wouldn’t let it happen again.

  He couldn’t let it happen again.

  With one last look at his home, he closed the door and headed to where Ellie stayed. He didn’t think of it as her home, as she didn’t call it that. It was as if she’d known all along her stay might be only temporary.

  When they got back, he’d have North fix that. He couldn’t bear to think of her not feeling welcome after all this time.

  The three of them had already said their goodbyes to his family, and he’d blocked off the sorrow and worry seeping from them as they wished the three good luck. It had been too much for him to deal with, so he was glad it was over, at least for a little while.

  God, he hated to say that about his family. As much as he loved them, he still needed his space to breathe. He wasn’t sure they understood that. Oh, they said all the right things, but sometimes he felt as though they wanted to pull him closer to comfort him when all he needed was the space to deal with all the emotions warring within him.

  The three of them would be on foot instead of driving to make sure the Pack thought they were leaving behind anything that had to do with their pasts. Even though he was the Omega and was needed there, he could take a break and leave for a bit—not that he’d ever done it.

  He froze where he was and blinked. This was the first time he’d be away from the Pack and would only get a whisper of their emotions. He’d be with North and Ellie—the two whose every hurt and every joy he couldn’t feel—meaning it would almost be quiet for him.