Lockhart

by A. E. Murphy

  “I’m not allowed to feel, remember?” I point out.

  “You are frustrating.”

  “Well it’s true. If it makes you feel any better, I won’t flirt in front of you if I can help it, but let me make something clear. You can pretend as much as you like that I’m yours,” I turn slightly to face him, “but I’m not. If I meet somebody who I feel I can have a future with, I’m going to try it. I’m not putting my entire life on hold for a man who won’t even take me on a fucking date.”

  He pulls sharply from the road, the wheel almost hitting the curb, but we come to a complete stop.

  Turning towards me, he asks incredulously, “What the fuck do you think that was?”

  Is he saying that was a date? Because if so I am entirely confused. “You want more?”

  “No, but I wanted to treat you for today.”

  “By taking me on a date that will lead to nothing?” I scoff. “I’d rather not bother.”

  He drags his hands over his face. “What do you want from me exactly? How can I keep you without all of the bullshit?” He doesn’t wait for an answer. “Why are the good ones in bed always the needy ones?”

  “Fuck you,” I yell, fighting the urge to get out of the car. “I haven’t asked you for a thing! I didn’t ask you to take me on a date. In fact I’ve been keeping you at arm’s length better than you have! I’m just saying that if I find the right guy during our fuck buddy fun times, I won’t be sacrificing that for this. I’m not saying I want a relationship; I’m saying I’m keeping my options open, but I’ll refrain from flirting in your presence, seeing as you’re going to cry like a little bitch about it.”

  “If I could tan your arse with my belt right now, I would,” he grits, visibly stressed. Grabbing me by the back of my head, he pulls me into him and pushes his tongue into my mouth. Even though I’m mad and a little bit upset, I allow him to kiss me, only so I can vent some of my frustration by biting his lips and tongue. “If I don’t think he’s right for you,” he pulls back, panting, “he can’t have you.”

  “That’s not your choice to make.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong, wild one,” he whispers, giving me one last gentle peck. “I own you.”

  Gulp.

  “You’re tapped in the head.”

  His anger turns into something malicious and a little bit frightening. It also makes me wet, but I won’t say that aloud. “Stay away from him. Am I clear?”

  He was right. He really is a bastard. It’s not even that I want anything to do with Xavier, I just don’t want to be told how to behave.

  “Double fucking standards,” I hiss, turning towards the window. His hands clench on the steering wheel so tightly they squeak against the leather. “Can you take me back to the bus please?”

  “As you wish,” he mumbles, turning up the radio and putting his foot down.

  I wasn’t expecting him to be so easily told, yet when he pulls up by the side of the tour bus, I find myself feeling a little bit disappointed that I actually won that round so easily.

  “I’ll pick you up tomorrow at three,” he tells me, not bothering to get out of the car. “Don’t go wandering off again and wear the bloody watch I gave you.”

  “It’s in my bag,” I respond, slamming the car door shut. What a beautiful piece of machinery.

  I move around to the boot and his chivalry gets the better of him and he finally joins me, helping me with my bags. His eyes scan my face and his hand discreetly takes my own so prying eyes can’t see.

  “I should have taken you with me,” he sighs, shaking his head at his own stupidity. “Tomorrow. Three.”

  I nod and pull my hand away sharply. “Goodnight, Lockhart.”

  “Goodnight, Wild One.” He’s grinning when I look at him over my shoulder. He slams the boot shut as I open the door to the bus and before Enri can approach him, he climbs into his car and drives away.

  “Well…” Enri states, frowning at me. “That was stupid. Are you okay?”

  “Cake!” I hold up one of the bags, smiling happily as though I haven’t just had raging sex with my boss.

  “Where the hell have you been?” Kai snaps, coming into view. They have me pinned in the kitchen area.

  “Lockhart took me to dinner,” I shrug, pushing past them and waving to Dane who is playing on his phone at the table. “No big deal.”

  Enri, just relieved to see me in one piece, says, “Well, good. We should get some shut eye. We have a really busy day tomorrow.”

  Kai doesn’t talk, only skulks away. I’m not going to apologise for my actions. I’m a grown up. I’m allowed to go where I want, when I want and fuck who I want and I’m sick of Kai thinking he can tell me otherwise.

  “I’m sorry if you were all worried.”

  “I wasn’t,” Dane puts his hand up, his other hand and eyes still on his phone.

  Enri winks at me and allows me to pass.

  “I’m going to get ready for bed.”

  “Cake.” Enri takes the bag from my hand and empties it onto the table. Literally, he just tips it out.

  “That’s not the cake bag,” I sigh as both he and Dane stare at the lace underwear set with stockings now splayed out on the sparkly grey surface.

  Dane pokes the breast cups. “Definitely not the cake bag.”

  “I erm…” Enri, unable to tear his eyes away from the underwear, stammers for something suitable to say.

  “You can put them back in the bag,” I laugh and place the actual cake bag behind the underwear.

  He carefully picks up each item and drops them into the paper bag in his hand, pausing when he holds up the thong parallel with his eyes.

  “Pervert,” I giggle, snatching my undergarments from his hands.

  “Since when did you become a girl?” Dane asks, his mouth already full of sponge. I didn’t even see him open the containers.

  “Shut up.”

  “Sorry,” Enri adds, handing me the bag back.

  I take it and, still giggling, I go to my sleeping area.

  “You know, if you need somebody to grade your new look… I’d be happy to help,” Enri calls. “Ouch, what was that for?”

  “Keep that to yourself,” Dane warns, playing the protective big brother. He’s never gotten involved before. Perhaps he cares about me more than he lets on. How sweet.

  I’m so lucky.

  “Will you hurry up? I need to piss,” Dane shouts, smacking his hand against the wall.

  “I’m coming.” I switch off the shower, wring out my hair and wrap my body in a towel. “Is Enri up yet?” I open the door a crack. “We’re going to be late for his bloody surprise.”

  “I’m up.” He staggers into view just as I fully step out of the shower.

  Then, with a maniacal laugh, he shoves Dane out of the way and locks himself in the bathroom.

  “Mother fucker,” Dane yells, hopping on the spot whilst cupping his groin with his hands. “Fuck it.”

  He races from the bus, leaving the door open. Christ that draft is cold.

  I hear him sigh happily as he sets free the contents of his bladder.

  “Tramp!” A woman yells but Dane won’t care.

  I roll my eyes, laughing, and after grabbing my things, new underwear included, I get dressed in one of my nicer outfits. The lace black skirt floats to my knees and my dark red V neck top clings tightly to my bosom, showing just the lines of the sexy underwear I wear beneath. I look and feel amazing. Despite the fact I’ve worn this outfit a few times, I feel better than ever. My skin is glowing, my grey, blue eyes are vibrant in a way they never have been and even though my hair has been through a lot recently, it feels silky smooth. I’m not sure if this is down to the vitamins I started taking yesterday or if it’s all in my head. Surely vitamins won’t work that soon, so it must all be in my head.

  “Come on guys, we have to go,” Kai yells just as I exit Enri’s room.

  “You look nice.” Dane smiles.

  “Thanks.”


  Enri enters his bedroom and I skip into the empty bathroom to apply mascara and a little eyeliner. Before long we’re in a car heading to locations unknown.

  “Will we be done by three?” I ask, almost forgetting that Lockhart is supposed to be picking me up then.

  “Definitely.” Enri turns to face me from where he’s sitting in the front seat. His eyes scan me curiously. “Why?”

  Do I tell them? I suppose there’s no use in hiding it.

  “Lockhart is taking me as his guest to a movie premier later.”

  They all stare at me. I feel a little self-conscious.

  “He thinks it’ll be good for our band and he only has one extra ticket,” I explain, though it’s a complete lie. I don’t know how many tickets he has; I just know he only invited me. “I think…”

  Kai looks envious, Dane looks impressed and Enri looks livid.

  “When did he ask you?” He asks, his jaw clenched.

  “Yesterday,” I respond carefully. “Well… last night. He didn’t really ask; he more told me.”

  “Of course he did,” Enri laughs and turns back to the front.

  “Is that okay?”

  He nods. “It’s fine.”

  “It doesn’t sound fine.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” He looks at his phone and I know not to push him further.

  What is it with people getting upset with me at the moment? I’m not doing this purposely. Why can’t things be simple?

  By the time we arrive at wherever it is we are, Enri has cheered up and is finally back to his usual self. Wayne opens my door for me and Enri takes lead as we walk along a cobbled street.

  “This is the one!” He grins, knocking on a tall black door. The house is one in a row of terraced houses. It’s pretty with flowers beneath the windows.

  When the door opens, I blanch when I see who answers.

  “Annice?” I squeak and her perfect tooth smile widens.

  “Hey, Ann.” Enri hugs the woman, who winks at me over his shoulder. “How do you two know each other?”

  “She and Mr Lockhart were dining when I saw them across the way. I couldn’t not introduce myself,” she lies and then turns to Kai and Dane. “It’s nice to meet you, boys. Come on in.”

  I’m last to enter and the second I step through the door, Annice’s hand gently tickles down my spine. My face flushes further.

  This is so awkward.

  “I love your nails.” She grins and winks again.

  I flex my fingers and distract myself by looking around. There’s a gorgeous leather L shaped sofa placed in front of a small LCD. This place is so cute and cosy, though the lighting is a bit questionable. It’s very dark.

  “Come on.” She beckons us to the open, wooden staircase on the left. “Follow me.”

  Enri, still smiling like a child, follows her up, looking back to ensure we’re sharing his excitement. I just want to leave.

  “Here we are.”

  It’s like stepping into a different building. The entire floor is grey. The walls, the floors, everything is the same shade of grey, except the massive lights on poles crowded around a white back drop. In the corner of the room, behind a large grey curtain which she pulls back, are rows and rows of outfits.

  “I called in a favour and got you these to play with.”

  “Is it just you?” Enri asks her.

  “They trust me to deliver,” she responds. “Has he told you why you’re here yet?”

  We all shake our heads, still standing by the stairway.

  “You are here for your first ever cover shoot. You guys are going to be on the front of,” she imitates a drum roll in the air with her hands, “On Point Magazine.”

  “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?” Kai cries and Dane and I both, like school girls, begin jumping up and down and screaming loudly.

  “Okay, Okay,” Enri laughs, covering his ears.

  “Don’t we need to do an interview too?” Kai asks.

  “They’re calling you all tomorrow.”

  “Calling?”

  Enri laughs. “Yeah, that shit is done by phone or email.”

  Cool! “This is insane!”

  “I’ll be doing your hair and makeup and helping you choose a look.” Annice motions for us to follow her to a door at the end of the large room.

  “If there’s just one of you,” I say politely, “will we have enough time?”

  “She’s worried because she has a date with Lockhart at three,” Enri comments dryly.

  Annice places her hand on my arm. “I’m a master. It’s why they let me work from home - saves them money and I’m good at what I do, so don’t you worry.”

  Dane and Kai are already browsing through the plastic wrapped outfits. Enri joins in, giving them his input on what he thinks will look good. We all not only have to choose nice outfits but we have to match to a certain extent too.

  It’s fun. We have so much fun and get extremely giddy. I was worried about how I’d look on camera but Annice really is good at what she does.

  I’m made to do solo shots, shots with the guys, shots with Enri. There are so many photos taken in so many different outfits and styles with many props and backdrops. I feel even more stunning than I did when I got dressed this morning.

  “Oh, you can keep those,” Annice says when I go to hang up the clothes I’ve been trying on and basically tossing into a pile.

  “Seriously?” I squeak.

  “Seriously.” She smirks, stepping towards me and adding a dark brown lipstick to my lips.

  “Guys,” I laugh. “Freebies!” I throw my arms around Enri’s neck and leave a dark brown lipstick kiss on his cheek. “Best day ever. Thank you!”

  We bag up our new outfits and shoes and, with makeup still fresh and hair still perfect, we exit the studio and go for a late lunch. This really is the life.

  I forgot how exciting this could be.

  “Did it cost you a lot to get us that gig?” I ask Enri, who smiles kindly at me and replies, “Not at all.”

  *

  When Lockhart pulls up by the curb of the coffee shop where we’re dining, I can’t help but feel a little giddy at the prospect of tonight. Only Kai and Dane join me in greeting him and wave me off. Enri stays inside and out of view.

  Lockhart for the first time looks casual in a light shirt and light jeans. Sunglasses balance on his nose and his beard has been groomed perfectly. He smells fresh, like clean linen and lemons. I want to lick him.

  “You look stunning,” he says quietly after the car starts to move.

  “Why didn’t you tell me I’d be meeting Annice today? Why did you let us do that, knowing that we’d be working together?”

  He smirks, finding this amusing. It certainly is not amusing.

  “I didn’t want to spoil the surprise.”

  “What is she to you and Enri exactly?”

  “She’s just a good friend. I’ve known her for a while and obviously introduced her to Enri. There’s nothing going on between them, if that’s your concern. She prefers women to men.”

  I blink rapidly. “Oh.”

  “There’s nothing going on between us any longer either. The only time we’ve ever shared a bed is when in the company of a woman.” He grins broadly. “You’re her new favourite.”

  “She kept touching me.”

  He laughs as though this is also amusing, which it isn’t.

  “Smile, Wild One.” He places his hand on my thigh. “Today is an exciting day.”

  “I hope so. We got swamped in the first restaurant we visited and men with cameras had their lenses pressed right up against the glass of the restaurant. I still can’t believe how savage they were. It was mental.”

  “Enri has a tough life in that regard, though if you keep producing music like you have been, it’ll be you soon too.”

  Shudder. “Fame and I don’t get along.”

  “I know.” He brings my hand to his lap and presses it to his groin. “I’ll do all I can to protect yo
u from that when it comes to that.”

  “If.”

  “No, when,” he corrects and I shudder again. “I have to speak to you about something.”

  “Oh?”

  “With regard to Kai, it’s something I’ve spoken to him about myself but I’m informing you because I’m hoping you can be his… influence.”

  “Influence?” A certain dread fills my heart and before Lockhart even speaks his next words, I know where this conversation is going.

  “Wayne was unfortunate enough to find cocaine amongst Kai’s possessions.”

  “Fuck.”

  He squeezes my hand, keeping his eyes on the road. “If he gets into that shit, I will have to drop him from the label. He has been warned and offered plenty of therapists to help with his anxiety, but he has refused them all.”

  “Double fuck.”

  “As you know, my company has an extremely strict policy when it comes to substance abuse.”

  “I know,” I sigh. “He knows it too.”

  “This is his final chance. If we have to kick him, we’ll have to replace him and I know that isn’t something you want.”

  This isn’t happening. “I spoke about this with him before our first gig. He promised me he wouldn’t do it again. I don’t get it because he doesn’t even like drugs!”

  “Promise me you won’t ever be so stupid.”

  Duh.

  “Don’t look at me like that,” he laughs, kissing my hand again. I pull it free. “Too nice?”

  “You need to stop that.”

  “Then you’re never going to forgive me after this.” He slides his hand up my skirt until his fingers are at the edge of my stockings. “What’s this, I wonder?”

  Gulp.

  He flips my skirt up at the front and his eyes heat. “You wore this for me?”

  “Bought it with your money too.” I grin mischievously. “Thanks for that, by the way.”

  Chuckling, he presses his fingers against my lace clad pussy. “If this is what you spend it on, you can expect more to come your way. I can’t wait to see you in it entirely.”

  I grip his wrist to stop his teasing. “So, what time does the premier start and what’s expected of me?”

  “I’ll talk you through the protocols later. It doesn’t start until six. Right now we’re going to get you done up and dressed. Though now I know what you have beneath your clothes, I’m not sure we’ll have the time.”