Down & Dirty: Linc (Dirty Angels MC Book 9)

by Jeanne St. James

  Linc took one breath, then two, then offered his hand to Jayde’s father. To the man who was a cop, the one who could very well have him arrested for trespassing. One who could make his life a living hell.

  Mitch’s gaze dropped and he stared at it in surprise.

  “Gonna give you some respect and expect the same from you. Just asking you to give me a chance. Let me prove myself. After that, if you don’t like me, not gonna hold it against you. Do it for you, for April, for Jayde and your future grandchildren.”

  At that, Linc shut up, but kept his hand up and out between them. He wasn’t dropping it until the man punched him, walked away or accepted it.

  Linc kept his face blank but cleared the thickness from his throat when Mitch reached out and grasped his outstretched hand. With a firm shake, Linc dug deep and said, “Nice to meet you, sir. Andrew Lincoln. And I’d be forever grateful if you’d allow me to date your daughter.”

  “Know you deserve someone better. Someone who can take care of you, protect you. For fuck’s sake, that ain’t me. That’s been proven.”

  The pain medication she was on must be screwing with her head. Because that sounded like Linc and there was no way in hell her father would allow Linc in his house.

  “Should let you go. Let you find someone who’ll do better, be better than me.”

  And he definitely wouldn’t allow a member of the DAMC into her bedroom. Unless hell had frozen over?

  Jayde opened her eyes and turned her head. She wasn’t dreaming. Linc was sitting on her bed in her bedroom in her parents’ home.

  She glanced toward the window. Nope. It was still a sunny summer day outside. Nothing appeared frozen.

  “Then why are you here?” she asked softly.

  “’Cause I’m a selfish fuck and you belong to me, Jayde. No one else. Can’t let anyone claim you but me. Might not be the best for you, but every day gonna try to do my fuckin’ best. Promise you that. Some days I’m gonna fuck up, but I’ll try twice as hard the next day.”

  She didn’t know what to say to that because she still wasn’t sure what was happening wasn’t a hallucination. “How did you get in? The window?”

  “The front door.”

  Huh. Her father usually insisted on keeping the front door locked. “My mom let you in?”

  “No, your pop.”

  Yep, she was hallucinating. She closed her eyes and settled back into the pillow. She apparently needed more sleep and less drugs.

  Then fingers, warm and long, intertwined with hers. “Baby.” The low murmur certainly sounded real. The fingers connected with hers seemed real, too.

  But there was no way her father let Linc into his house. “I’m just imagining you, Linc. You’re not really here.”

  More fingers, this time sweeping over her cheek, then brushing the hair away from her face. A light kiss to her forehead. Warm breath gliding over her skin.

  Those pills the doctor gave her were really, really good.

  “Your pop let me in, let me up here because I promised him I’d do right by you.”

  This hallucination needed to stop disturbing her sleep. “He’d never believe that.”

  “Thought that, too. Surprised the shit out of me when he said I could date you.”

  Jayde’s eyes popped open again, she twisted her neck to stare at the man on her bed. “Date me?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You asked my father if you could date me? Are you out of your fucking mind?” She pushed up onto her elbows and then moaned when a twinge of pain shot through her ribs.

  Linc’s jaw tightened and he frowned. She held out her hands and he assisted her to sit up against her headboard.

  “I’m twenty-eight years old and you asked my father if you could date me like I’m sixteen?”

  He released what sounded like an irritated sigh. “Baby...”

  “And he said yes?”

  “Like I said, trying to do right by you. Coulda forced my way in, caused a fight, more issues, more bad blood. Coulda took you home against his wishes. Didn’t want to start our life together that way.”

  “Am I awake?”

  His brows furrowed in confusion. “Yeah.”

  “Okay, then... Start our life?”

  “Yeah. Gonna do it right this time. Gonna do it like we shoulda done it in the first fuckin’ place.”

  “By dating me?”

  He gave her a crooked smile. “Gonna earn his fuckin’ respect. Jayde, want you to come home, but don’t want you burning bridges to do so.”

  “Linc...”

  “No, listen. Wasn’t just about the baby. Shoulda told you that. I didn’t. I fucked up with that, too. Shoulda told you how much that apartment felt like a real home with you and me in it. Together. Know it’s a shit place and we’ll get somethin’ better, but wherever you are will be home no matter what.”

  Holy crap.

  Before she could answer him, he continued. “Gotta tell you something, Jayde. Something I shoulda told you a while ago. Wanna make a life with you, so you gotta fuckin’ know.”

  No way. Was he going to confess his love for her or something? Her heart began to race.

  “Your pop probably told you most of it.”

  Nope, no declaration of undying love. But should she admit she already knew about his past or just let him tell her in his own words?

  “But I wanna tell you the rest.”

  And she wanted to hear it. She reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling it into her lap. “Okay,” she whispered.

  “Was a jock in high school. Football. Wrestling. Was good on the mat. Did well. Made a fuckin’ name for myself. Was being scouted by colleges. We’re talkin’ a full ride. Was bussed to one of the matches, then after we won, a bunch of us wanted to celebrate. Gettin’ close to the end of the season and knew we were headed to States. Wanted to party. So jumped in a buddy’s cage and did just that. Had a curfew, but my parents trusted me. Didn’t rag on me if I was late ‘cause not only was I good at sports, my grades were fuckin’ good. By the time I could catch a ride home, it was real late... Like five hours past my curfew type of late.”

  He paused, his troubled gaze sliding away from her over to the window and he stared out of it for a few moments. She figured the best thing to do was to simply remain quiet and wait. She’d give him the time he needed to finish his story when he was ready.

  He cleared his throat, turning his gaze to their clasped hands in her lap. His chest heaved with a breath, then he began again, avoiding her eyes.

  “Tried to be quiet unlocking the door, trying not to disturb everyone sleeping, trying not to fuckin’ get busted. My parents were cool, but they still had their limits. And that night I knew I pushed them. Walked in and it hit me like a fuckin’ wall. The smell. Was overwhelming. Covered my face, rushed upstairs, found them... Found them all. Sleeping in their beds. Only not sleeping...” He paused, sucked in a ragged breath, then started again. “Almost thought about lying down in mine and going with them. Gas leak was so bad, figured it wouldn’t take long. But something forced me back downstairs. Stumbled out the door and collapsed onto the grass, coughing, light-headed. Dialed 9-1-1. But knew it was too late. Everybody was gone... Everybody but me.” He raised his green eyes to hers and she tried not to cry out at the suffering that he still so clearly felt. “I fucked up, Jayde. Me. I fucked up.”

  “No.”

  “Yes, baby, I fucked up. Took advantage of my parents’ rules. Shoulda been home on time. Maybe coulda saved them. Got them all out.”

  No, how could he think that? “Or you could’ve died right along with them, Linc. That wasn’t your fault.”

  “Yeah, baby, it was.”

  “Impossible.”

  “Later... Fuck... Later, found a voicemail on my phone. He left it at midnight. My pop asking where I was. Wasn’t mad. Shoulda been. Shoulda told me to get my fuckin’ ass home. Instead, his message said he hoped I was being smart and safe. Also said he and my mom were proud of me goin’ to Sta
tes, proud of how hard I worked to get where I was. And... And that they loved me.”

  His fingers twitched within hers and she gave them a squeeze.

  She couldn’t miss his Adam’s apple rising and falling in his throat before he continued, “Last time I ever heard my pop’s voice. Kept that phone. Still got that message. Should be a reminder not to fuck up, but I still do.”

  He was quiet as he stared at her, his gaze roaming over her face, which she knew was still swollen in spots, bruised and included a row of stitches over her one eye.

  “Tired of fuckin’ losing people I love, Jayde. Fuckin’ tired of it. Lost our son. Can’t lose you, too.”

  She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Was he saying he loved her or just speaking in general terms? Just because he didn’t want to lose her, didn’t mean he loved her.

  Did it?

  Yes, that month they lived together in the apartment brought them closer together. How could it not? Those months of sharing the knowledge that they were becoming a family would tend to bond two people together.

  Did she love Linc?

  She stared at the man on her bed. The one who had convinced her stubborn father to actually let him in. An almost impossible task. But he’d achieved it.

  “I named him.”

  “What?” Her chest became hollow, her breathing stopped. Her heart skipped a beat.

  “I named him. Made him ours. Made him a reminder of how precious life is. How easily it can be lost. A reminder of how fuckin’ hard I need to fight to keep you, Jayde.”

  “You named him,” she whispered. She hadn’t wanted to do that. Thought it would only make it worse by giving a name to a baby she’d never get to hold. That it would make their loss more real. More painful. “What did you name him?”

  She watched in silence as he shrugged out of his cut and jerked his T-shirt over his head, tossing it onto the bed. She easily found the fresh tattoo amongst his myriad of others.

  It was small. The letters in black script tucked between two other tattoos. But this one was close to his heart.

  A reminder of what could have been.

  “I spelled it that way for you.”

  “I...” She shook her head, then she dropped it into her hands as the tears began to fall once again. She thought she was done with crying. That she didn’t have anything else left in her to give. But she was wrong.

  Losing the baby gave Linc a chance to walk away. Why wasn’t he taking that opportunity?

  She sniffled. “Why are you here, Linc? Why? To make this whole thing even more painful than it already is?”

  “No, came here to take you home. Promised your father I wouldn’t do that right away. Told him I’d give you some time. But want you home, baby. Want you with me. So gonna give you two weeks. And every fuckin’ day of those two weeks, my ass is gonna be standing on that porch, I’m gonna be knocking on that door and I’m gonna be respectful to your father, ‘cause there’s nothing more important than family, Jayde. Nothing. Jaymes made us a family and I’m not fuckin’ letting that go.”

  She believed him when he said he wouldn’t let go. His success in high school... Hell, his ability to get past her father alone proved what kind of drive the man had. When he wanted something, he worked for it and achieved it.

  Only now he wanted her. She’d waited a long time for this. But... “Do I get a say in any of this or is it just you and my dad making the decisions for me?”

  “Baby, anything you wanna say, say it. Gonna listen.”

  Jayde nodded and inhaled a deep breath, then let the words flow. “There’s nothing I want more than to be with you. Nothing I want more than to live with you. And I want to do it because it’s our choice and not because of a situation that forced us into those circumstances. I do want you, Linc. I do. I’ve wanted you for almost five years. I hoped you’d see just how much. But I feel like I forced you that night at Hawk’s wedding. Forced you into being with me when I became pregnant. And I’m sorry for that.”

  He grabbed her hand and pressed his lips to her palm. “Jayde, wasn’t gonna do what I didn’t wanna do. Yeah, it surprised the fuck outta me, finding out I was gonna have a kid. Can’t lie about that. But then, as I told you before, couldn’t have happened with a better woman. Still believe that.”

  She thought about his words for a moment and then said to the man who could’ve walked away, but didn’t, “I want to go home.”

  He closed his eyes, relief crossing his face as he whispered, “Oh thank fuck.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Two goddamn weeks he waited. Was nice as fucking pie. Respectful. Ate a little pride. All so Mitch wouldn’t change his mind and decide Linc still wasn’t good enough. Went every day to that middle-class house in the burbs, a reminder of where he grew up himself.

  Every fucking day to spend time with Jayde.

  Those were the two longest weeks of his life. He stayed at church every night, because he still couldn’t bear to sleep at the apartment over the pawn shop without her.

  Over those two weeks, he watched those bruises turn different shades and start to fade somewhat. But seeing her like that ripped his heart out every time.

  Still sore, still in a little bit of pain—more on the inside than the outside—she was ready to get back to work. Ready to move in with Linc.

  Then this morning when he went to pick her and her stuff up, Mitch had met him at the door. Fucking blocked it.

  And Linc was ready to blow a fucking gasket.

  He didn’t want to cause a rift between her and her parents. He didn’t want to be the reason she lost her family.

  Or more like lost her father, really. April loved Linc. Axel had his moments. And fortunately, Z had given his presidential blessing. Though, with a word of warning about not breaking his baby sister’s heart. Or sticking his dick elsewhere, where it didn’t belong.

  Fuck that. Jayde was the only woman he wanted to stick his dick into. Well, after she was finished recovering from the miscarriage. The doctor said to wait another month to be safe.

  Another fucking month.

  Linc blew out a breath. But as long as he had Jayde in his arms, he’d be able to wait. Just chock it up to anticipation. Hell, they’d waited over four years for the first time, four weeks… he should be able to do with one arm tied behind his back.

  But right now he shouldn’t be eyeballing Mitch Jamison—in uniform, no less—while thinking about having sex with his daughter.

  Yeah, that was a bit fucking awkward.

  “Two weeks isn’t long enough.”

  “Gotta let go of her sometime,” Linc muttered.

  “I know you made an effort and, though I appreciate that, I’m still worried.”

  “As a good father should be,” Linc said louder. He was hoping saying shit like that would butter up the stubborn fuck. But apparently, being a cop and a sort of goody-two-shoes biker made the man more stubborn than just being a plain ol’ biker.

  And bikers were stubborn as fuck.

  So he figured he had to out-stubborn the king of stubborn. He just wasn’t sure how.

  But all those thoughts dissipated when Jayde pushed past her father with two large rolling suitcases in tow and stepped out onto the porch. “I’m ready.”

  Linc shook off his shock, unfroze himself from his spot and rushed forward to take them from her. “That all your shit?”

  “Some clothes, other stuff. I’ll get more later.”

  “Jayde,” Mitch started, frowning at his daughter.

  Jayde raised her palm up. “Dad, I know it’s hard for you to believe, but I’m an adult now. I have a good job. I’m going back to school next month. I have a car, if you’ll let me take it with me. We have a place of our very own, thanks to Ace. I can’t live here forever.”

  “Yes, but—”

  She lifted her palm higher and almost into his face. “Dad, your cop buddies complain when they can’t get their adult children out of their house. You should look forward to an emp
ty nest. It’s time. You and mom need some alone time.” She wiggled her eyebrows and her father rolled his eyes up to the porch ceiling. “Now you two can go hog wild.” She smiled and patted his cheek. “Live a little.”

  “Jesus,” Mitch muttered.

  Linc dropped his head down and stared at the floor, trying not to release a snort of laughter at his woman’s words.

  “I’m only going to be a few miles away, Dad. I’m not leaving the country. Not even the state.”

  “Your education—”

  “I’m already signed up for fall classes.”

  Mitch’s jaw dropped. “How? I didn’t receive the tuition bill.”

  “Yep, because we’re paying for it. Or the club is. Either way, it’s covered.”

  “Right. So you can be a criminal defense attorney,” he grumbled.

  Linc knew both Axel and Mitch had a problem with Jayde picking criminal defense as her specialty. Especially since she’d be trying to release the same people they put in jail.