by Vella Day
She took the cloth from Cade’s hand, extracted a mirror from her purse, and checked her appearance. “Dear God.”
He smoothed her flyaway hair. “You are a wonderful friend, Amber Delacroix. The best. You fought a good battle. You wouldn’t have tried so hard to keep from suspecting him unless deep in your heart you believed Ben wanted to help those people so much that he put them to sleep.”
She shook her head, and then placed her cheek on his muscular chest. “If Ben is guilty, murder is still murder, but I’m not sure if he did anything.”
“I have to say all of your evidence is circumstantial.”
She wanted to believe him. “You’re right.”
He smiled. “That doesn’t mean I won’t be looking into his activities.”
It was his job to find the killer. “I know.”
Cade wrapped a comforting arm around her waist. “What do you say we shelve the investigation until I’ve had another chance to look into this and have a nice dinner?”
She leaned into him and wiped her eyes again. “I’m good with that.” She prayed he found nothing concrete against Ben. Besides Cade and Stone, Ben and Jamie were all she had.
Cade walked her back through the parking lot. He opened the restaurant door and ushered her in. She hoped she could stop drawing any more terrible conclusions for the rest of the evening. Inhaling, she lifted her head high and walked in.
“Oh.” This was better than sitting in the car with her dark thoughts. Much better.
The Thai restaurant had subdued lighting, with warm-colored wall coverings. A large fish tank that lent serenity to the surroundings sat in the center of the restaurant. A pretty waitress in a red silk sheath showed them to a table nestled between two potted ferns. It was cozy and rather romantic.
Amber slid into the booth, and Cade sat across from her.
He stretched an arm along the back. “So, have you recovered from all of our racing around on the horses last week?”
A small smile lifted her lips, and she let out a long breath. She appreciated his effort to take her mind off her meltdown. “Today was the first time I felt normal. I had no idea I was so out of shape.” She pressed a hand under one of her thighs, which it was still a little tender.
He leaned forward. “I’ll be honest. I was a bit sore, too. To keep fit, we should go out a few more times before it gets too cold to ride.”
“I’d love that.” Nothing soothed her soul better than being outdoors.
The server came by for their drink orders. Given Amber’s recent mental lapse, she ordered a hot green tea instead of wine. Cade asked for an ale.
He tapped his fingers on the table. “I like you Amber Delacroix. A lot. You have integrity, and that means a lot to me.” Cade studied her for a moment, but she wasn’t uncomfortable with his scrutiny. “I want to know what makes you tick. What drives you?”
He probably wanted to understand why an in-control oncology nurse almost had a psychotic break. “What drives me?” She shrugged. “I never thought about it.”
Kindness washed over his face. “How about if you tell me one thing that scares you.” He looked deep into her eyes.
Thinking Ben might really have harmed Chris. “What does that have to do with what motivates me?” She kept her voice low.
“I just want to get to know you better.” He leaned forward. “How about this? Tell me an event that happened a long time ago that you feel contributed to who you are today.” He unrolled the linen napkin and placed it on his lap. “It might have been something fantastic and inspiring, or an event you want to forget, but can’t.”
She’d already exposed a part of herself that was still so raw that nothing she said now could further hurt her. “You mean like a secret?” Telling him about Rich had been hard, but she could think of only one other event that had scarred her for life. Hell, she was the first to believe honesty was at the core of everything. Look at Rich and how they’d failed. If only he’d been truthful sooner, the pain wouldn’t have been so bad.
“Yes.” Cade exhaled very slowly. “You know, sugar, being in a relationship with one man can be challenging. Being with two doubles it. I want to understand who you are in here.” He tapped his chest. “And up here.” He placed a finger on the side of his head.
The server came over and set a tea cup, a pot of hot water, and a teabag in front of Amber and an empty glass along with a bottle of ale in front of Cade. “Have you decided?”
“Give us a few minutes,” Cade said. The server nodded and left.
Needing a moment to compose her thoughts, Amber dunked her teabag in the pot of hot water and swirled it around. She didn’t meet his gaze. Instead, she continued to stir her tea. “I was twelve and Chris was six. He wanted to play hide and seek.” She glanced to the ceiling for a second. “It was his favorite game, mostly because I’d usually let him win.” She dipped the teabag again. “We were down by the river one afternoon where we often played. So as not to know where he hid, I would close my eyes, plug my ears, and count to one-hundred.”
“A six-year-old boy could get into a lot of trouble in that amount of time.”
“I found that out.” She drew in her bottom lip. She’d been careless, reckless, stupid. “This one time, I shut my eyes and began counting. When I finished, I went to his usual hiding places but couldn’t find him.”
“You must have been in a panic.”
“You have no idea.” She sucked on her cheek. “I was convinced my parents would lock me up for life if I let anything happen to my little brother. I promised my mom I’d watch Chris, and I didn’t.” Her damned chin quivered.
“But you found him.”
She sniffled. “Eventually. I spotted his shoes by the river and figured out what must have happened. I ran along the banks, shouting and crying. Then I spotted him wedged between two rocks.” She blinked back tears. “He was unconscious.” Her hand shook at the memory. It had been a long time since she’d thought about that day.
“Oh, sugar.”
Cade’s sympathy helped her heart to slow. “Later, Chris told me he’d spotted a fish jump in the river. Since it was summer, the water was merely cold, not freezing. He took off his shoes and waded into the middle. The problem was that the water rushed over the rocks really fast there. That was why he got knocked over and hit his head.” Her stomach churned.
Cade clasped his bottle with both hands. “I bet he was terrified.”
She shook her head. “Not Chris. Nothing bothered him.”
“Did you hear him scream?”
“No. My ears were plugged, and I was counting out loud.”
“Jesus, Amber.”
She tried to smile, but her lips wouldn’t stop trembling. “His mouth and nose were fortunately above water.”
Cade slowly shook his head as if he couldn’t imagine what she’d gone through. “You were so young. What did you do?”
“It wasn’t like we had cell phones or anything. I screamed for him to get up, but he didn’t. We were too far from the house for anyone to hear, so I waded in and managed to drag Chris to shore.” She shut her eyes, and the same movie replayed in her head. She shouldn’t be upset. This happened a long time ago. She opened her eyes to continue. “I ran home for help. Dad was there. He rushed back and carried Chris home. By then, he’d roused, but Mom insisted they go to the hospital.”
“But he was okay, right?”
“He had a concussion, but he recovered.” She looked at the fish slowly swimming in the tank. “My mother changed after that.” Amber returned her focus to Cade. “It was as if the thought of losing one of us was so great she retreated to some dark place. It got worse after Dad left.”
“She was afraid.”
“Probably, but I was afraid, too. It was my fault that Chris almost died.” A tear escaped. Was it for the six-year-old Chris or the man who was no longer?
“It was an accident.”
She tapped her temple. “My head knows that but not my heart.” Other t
han her family, Amber had told no one that story, but even after all this time, it helped to say the words. “What about you? Got any secrets, besides your father’s indiscretions?” She swiped the white linen napkin across her eyes.
All hint of cheer evaporated. “Do you promise under penalty of death to keep what I tell you between us?” The concern he’d shown a moment ago had turned hard.
Did Stone know about Cade’s big secret? “Promise.”
He nodded. “I’d mentioned that on my fifteenth birthday, my mom told me my dad had been a bank robber.”
“Yes. Which was what motivated you to go into law enforcement.”
“Mostly. But there was another trigger. There was this skinny kid in my advanced algebra class. His name was Leonard Bird. He didn’t talk much and didn’t have many friends.”
“That’s sad.” If it weren’t for her support system, she’d be a total mess. “But you became his friend?”
“Not at first. I didn’t want to get close to anyone back then.”
As a nurse, she’d met a lot of teenagers who were withdrawn. “Were you afraid he’d find out about your dad if you hung around together?”
“Yes, and the fact Mom and I were poor.”
“What about Stone?” She tried to picture what they were like back then. Was Cade a macho kid and a bit of a bully, or had his stern exterior developed later?
“We didn’t hang out together in high school. He was two years younger.”
Her tea finished steeping, and she removed the bag. She blew on the steam rising off the top.
Clearly, Leonard was an important part of his story. “Was Leonard ever mean to you? Is that why you didn’t want him to learn about your background?” It would be terrible if Leonard let it out that Cade’s dad had been a criminal.
He shook his head. “No. I didn’t tell anyone about my family. Until Stone. And then you.” Her heart soared that he trusted her so much. Cade drank from his bottle as if he needed a moment. “It was early in the year, and I’d come to math class without my expensive calculator. It was the kind that drew graphs. I had worked at a gas station all summer to save for it. Then one day it disappeared. For some reason I thought Leonard had taken mine.”
She tried to put herself in his shoes. Cade would be too proud to tell the teacher. “Did you steal his?”
He winced. “Yes. I thought if my dad could steal, why couldn’t I?”
She pressed her lips together. Poor Cade. “I’m sorry.”
He dragged a thumbnail down the label to peel it off. “Not noble. I know.”
“Did Leonard suspect you?”
“He didn’t say anything. About a week later, I was rummaging through my locker and found mine under a pile of papers. I felt like shit. We’d had a test that week, and Leonard had to take it without his calculator. He failed it, and I never forgave myself. When I placed the one I’d taken back on Leonard’s desk, I thought he hadn’t seen me. But he had.”
Her heart went out to both boys. “What did he say?”
“That his mom couldn’t afford to buy him a new one, but that he knew I needed it more.” He looked away. “That’s when I knew stealing was really wrong. It was then that I decided to atone for all the people my father hurt.”
Now it was her turn to place her hand on his. “Whatever happened to Leonard?”
“We became best friends, but he didn’t come back his junior year—don’t know why—and I never heard from him again.”
“Why didn’t you look for him?”
His chin drew in. “I was a kid. I honestly had other issues I was facing back then.”
“Why not now? Maybe you can reconnect on Facebook. There can’t be too many Leonard Bird’s, especially if he listed Rock Hard as his high school.”
He smiled and her insides lit up. “See? You are a romantic.”
“Well, if that happened to me, I’d want to learn my friend’s fate.” She wouldn’t blame Cade if didn’t believe her, especially given her recent suspicion. She prided herself on being a true friend, but clearly, with Ben, she’d turned into a Judas. The guilt tore her up.
“Maybe I’ll check him out.” He nodded to the menu when the server returned. “See anything you like?”
She studied her choices and selected the Pad Thai. Cade ordered the same.
All through dinner she thought back to how one small event in a person’s life could stick with him for a very long time. As an adult, she knew it wasn’t her fault her daredevil brother had gone into the stream to chase the jumping fish. She was equally convinced her parents should have warned them about the dangers of playing in the water. Still, she felt guilty Chris had nearly drowned.
Their meal arrived and they dug in. Cade made cute little moaning sounds with each bite.
She chuckled. “Don’t you eat well?”
He glanced up at her. “When do I have time? Remember, I suck at cooking.”
“Stone is a great cook.”
“When he cooks. He mostly eats at the station.”
Then how could they possibly think they had time for a woman in their life? Would they fit her in when they could? Did they even want something permanent? At some point, she’d have to ask them, but right now she wanted to enjoy everything about Cade Carter and Stone Benson as possible.
After dinner, Cade paid. He held out his hand and helped her from the booth.
“Next time, I’m paying.”
He cocked a brow. “That would be a no.”
She was a strong believer in equality. “I make good money, you know.” At least compared to a public servant.
He escorted her outside and into his car. “I never said you didn’t. It’s not about that.” He walked to the other side and folded himself onto the seat. “Taking you out makes me feel good. Okay?”
She wasn’t going to argue for now. “Okay.”
He started the engine and drove out of town. Cade tapped his fingers on the wheel. “Maybe you should consider leaving a bag of clothes at our house for when you spend the night.”
“Really?” Excitement laced her tone at the implication.
“You sound surprised.”
How did one respond to that comment? “I’m just cautious.”
“In that case, I need to show you just how good it can be between us.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Amber thought they’d go back to Cade’s place, but instead he drove to her house. Maybe he planned on spending the night and thought it would be easier on her in the morning. That was nice in theory, but it would mean when Stone returned home in the middle of the night, he couldn’t crawl into bed with them. Darn. She missed him already. Though to be honest, if she had to discuss her suspicions about Ben to Stone so soon after her revelation to Cade, she might crack, and she wasn’t ready to shed another bucket of tears.
Cade pulled into her drive. “It’s a shame Stone couldn’t have joined us,” he said.
“I know.” With each passing day, the idea of being with two men was sinking in. “I would have enjoyed hearing more about Stone’s life.” She wanted all three of them to connect on a deeper level.
Next time.
When they stepped into her house, she headed to the kitchen. “I bought some ale for you.”
“You didn’t have to do that.” Cade followed behind her. “Do you have a Coke?”
That surprised her. “Sure do.”
She grabbed two cans, one for him and one for herself. On her way home from work, she’d stopped at the store and bought snacks—not because she thought Cade would come back here after dinner, but because she liked to have some on hand. It was her comfort food. “I can make popcorn. I also have some leftover cheese and crackers.”
“Great.”
As she handed him the can, her cell rang. She set down her drink and located her phone in her purse. Her heart nearly stopped. “It’s Ben.” She looked up at him.
“Let it go to voicemail.”
Her mind raced. “But I always an
swer. He’ll think it strange if I don’t.” Her heart pounded.
Cade lifted the phone from her fingers. “Next time you see him, you can say we were making love.”
His logic helped settle her nerves. “Okay.” Another round of reality struck her. “What am I going to say when I finally talk to him? What if he and Jamie come over next weekend? Do you think he knows that I—”
Cade gathered her in his arms. “Shh. It’ll be okay. Let’s think about this.” He guided her to the sofa. “Here’s what you’re going to do. If he or Jamie asks you to meet them, for the first few times, tell them you have a date with either Stone or me.”
“I can do that.” Amber certainly had complained enough to Jamie about not having enough time to be with the men because of their crazy schedules. “What if he stops me in the hospital hallway?”
“You talk with him. Sugar, if—and that’s a big if—Ben is guilty, you have to pretend he’s innocent. Don’t give him any reason to think you suspect him.”
She was happy he didn’t add that Ben might harm her. She knew better. Ben wouldn’t. Hell, he couldn’t even tie up Jamie or spank her for fear of causing her pain. Amber relaxed. “Okay.”
He pulled out his cell. “I’m texting Stone to let him know where I am. I’m not leaving you in this state of mind.”
He hadn’t planned to spend the night? She knew better. “Who are you fooling? You can’t leave without some booty.” He glanced up at her and chuckled. The sound was a balm to her tormented soul.
“You up for that? ’Cause if you’re too upset, I’ll be happy to hold you all night. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you. Ever.” He dragged his knuckle down her cheek.
“Thank you, but if you think you are getting out of making love with me, you are sorely mistaken.”
He pulled her close. “That so? Just so you know, I will always want to make love with you.” They both leaned forward at the same time and kissed. Every cell in her body heated. He sat back. “I can’t get started. I have to text Stone now or I’ll forget.”
While he left his message, she placed the popcorn in the microwave. Doing a menial chore helped settle her stomach. When she returned to the living room, Cade was stretched on the sofa.