Fighting with Shadows

by Beryl Matthews

  She glanced quickly at Danny, who was still looking out of the window. He had a quick mind and sharp ears, and, as much as she would have loved to question this man more closely about Jane, she didn’t want to do it in front of Danny.

  He didn’t pursue the subject. ‘I’ll have a car waiting for me at the station, so I can give you a lift. I’m just down the road in Goathurst.’

  Her instinct was to refuse, but Danny was going to be very tired …

  He picked up on her doubt and gave a wry smile. ‘Don’t be uneasy: there will be a military driver with us.’

  It would save waiting for a bus. ‘In that case I accept.’

  He tipped his head back and laughed at her quick acceptance now she knew she wouldn’t be alone with him.

  At the sound of the laughter, Danny sat back on the seat, eyeing the soldier with interest. ‘What’s that?’ He pointed to the row of ribbons on his chest, slipping off the seat to get a closer look. When the man held his hand out, Danny gave the truck into Angie’s safe keeping and walked across to him.

  He was swept up so that he could sit on the soldier’s knees to examine the decorations.

  ‘They’re pretty.’ Danny ran a finger over the brightly coloured ribbons. ‘What’s it for?’

  ‘They are the colours of medals.’

  ‘Hmm.’ Danny turned his attention to the epaulets and pointed to the crowns. ‘Why’ve you got those up there?’

  ‘They show my rank. I’m a major.’

  Danny stared at him in wonder. ‘Is that good – like a general?’

  The Major gave a deep chuckle. ‘It’s way off a general, but it’s quite good.’

  Angie watched, fascinated by the way Danny was talking to him. He looked so at ease with the big man, and it was at that moment Angie knew he ought to have a man in his life. Why had Jane cut herself off so completely from his father, not even leaving a clue as to his identity? In Jane’s letter she had said that he had great problems. What could they have been?

  She had been preoccupied with her thoughts and gasped when she looked across the carriage. Danny was fast asleep on the Major’s lap.

  ‘Oh, I’m so sorry.’ She stood up, but he waved her down again.

  ‘It’s all right. Let the little fellow sleep.’

  She tumbled back as the train clattered over points. ‘Are you sure you don’t mind? He’s quite heavy.’

  ‘Do I look like a weakling?’ He grinned in amusement, showing a row of perfect white teeth.

  Returning the smile, she shook her head. That was certainly not a description that fitted him. She hadn’t seen him standing, but from the length of his legs he must have been at least six feet. An aura of strength emanated from him – mental and physical.

  ‘Is Danny your responsibility now?’

  ‘I’ve adopted him. After Jane died, I was the only one left to care for him. Not that I mind,’ she added hastily in case he got the wrong impression. ‘I love him very much.’

  ‘And what about his father?’ The question was asked gently.

  ‘My cousin never told me who he was.’ Now that Danny was asleep, she took the chance to ask, ‘How well did you know Jane?’

  His gaze narrowed as he caught the meaning behind her question. ‘I am not the child’s father. She was little more than a schoolgirl to me.’

  Angie felt embarrassed at her suspicion but pressed the subject. ‘Do you happen to know if Jane had any particular friends?’

  ‘You mean men friends? I only saw your cousin when I went to the farm for a meal. I don’t know what she did or who she went out with.’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘I can’t help you there.’

  ‘I’m sorry. I just thought you might know something.’

  ‘Don’t apologize. I realize what a responsibility you’ve taken on, but I can assure you that I’m not the one who seduced your cousin.’ He looked down at the sleeping child. ‘He’s lucky to have you.’

  ‘I’m the lucky one, Major Strachan.’

  ‘Bob, the name’s Bob.’ He rested his head back on the seat, his gaze never leaving her face.

  Why was she talking to him so freely? He was a complete stranger, and she didn’t usually let personal details tumble out like this. She turned to look out of the window, effectively breaking off the conversation, and was pleased when he fell silent.

  The next half an hour passed in that way until Danny suddenly cried out, ‘Mummy!’

  Angie shot to her feet and reached out for the child. ‘It’s all right, Danny. Wake up!’

  His face was wet with tears as he held his arms out for her. ‘Auntie Angel!’

  She gathered him into her arms, and Bob stood up to help her back to her seat. Angie concentrated on calming the distressed boy, ignoring the tall man hovering over them.

  ‘I was frightened,’ Danny gulped. ‘I didn’t know where I was.’ He sat up, rubbing his eyes with his fists. ‘Are we nearly there?’

  ‘Another ten minutes,’ Bob told him, still standing with a deep frown on his face. ‘Then I’ll take you in my car to Mr and Mrs Sawyer.’

  ‘Is it a big one?’ Danny had soon recovered.

  ‘Very big.’ Bob smiled and sat down again.

  The next stop was theirs. Bob dealt with the luggage while Angie carried Danny off the train and out of the station.

  ‘Ooh!’ Danny was immediately wide-eyed and struggling to be put down when he saw the army officer’s car: very large and painted khaki. He was running as soon as his feet touched the ground. ‘We going to ride in that?’

  The driver, a corporal, saluted his officer smartly, and then opened the rear door so that Danny could clamber in. Bob ushered Angie in as well, while the driver stowed away their luggage in the boot. Then Bob and the driver got in the front.

  ‘Where to, sir?’

  ‘The Sawyer farm in Huntstile.’

  ‘Right, sir.’ They were on their way at once.

  Danny grinned in delight as they sped along and began to examine every inch of the car, leaning forward so he could see all the levers and dials in the front. Bob answered all his questions with good humour.

  It seemed no time at all before they were swinging into the yard and pulling up in front of the farmhouse. A dog rushed out barking excitedly as John and Hetty came to meet them.

  ‘Hello, Bob.’ John was all smiles as the Major got out and shook hands with him. ‘Good to see you again.’

  ‘And you. I hope you’ve both been well?’

  ‘We’re just fine, thanks. Broke my ankle a while ago, but it’s back to normal now.’

  ‘I’ve given your visitors a lift from the station.’

  ‘Angie!’ Hetty rushed up and hugged her. ‘How lovely to see you again.’ She turned to her husband. ‘Look how pretty she’s grown, John.’

  ‘She has that.’ His expression sobered. ‘We were dreadful upset to hear about Jane.’

  ‘It was a terrible shock.’ Angie placed a hand on Danny’s shoulder as he waited patiently beside her.

  ‘And who is this?’ Hetty bent down in front of the child.

  ‘I’m Danny, and we’ve been on a train and in that big car.’ This information was delivered with some pride.

  ‘My goodness, what an exciting day.’ Hetty stood up and looked at Angie questioningly. ‘’You didn’t say you had a son?’

  ‘He’s Jane’s.’ Angie saw the shock register.

  ‘My mummy’s gone to heaven,’ he told them, speaking of his mother without the usual distress. ‘My Auntie Angel looks after me now.’

  Angie became aware that the car hadn’t yet left, so she turned. ‘Thank you for the lift; it was very kind of you.’

  Bob was standing motionless, watching the scene. She appreciated his help, but wished he would leave. Introducing the Sawyers to Jane’s son for the first time was something she would rather do in private.

  ‘It was my pleasure. Have a good holiday.’ With a smile to everyone he went to get back in the car.

  Danny had seen the dri
ver salute at the station, and he rushed up and copied it.

  Bob immediately returned the salute in true military style, making Danny giggle. Then he got in the car and they drove away.

  5

  By the time they’d had tea, Danny was so tired he could hardly keep his eyes open, although he had been listening intently as John told him about all the animals on the farm.

  ‘We’ll go and see them in the morning.’ John smiled at Danny. ‘And if you can be up at six o’clock tomorrow, you can see the cows being milked.’

  ‘I can do that.’ He looked excitedly at Angie for confirmation. ‘Can’t we, Auntie?’

  ‘I’ll make sure you’re ready in time. But,’ she said, standing up, ‘as you’re going to be up so early, I think you ought to go to bed now.’

  He was too tired to make a fuss, and Angie could see him fighting to stay awake. He could be a very determined little boy at times, if he wanted something badly enough.

  ‘Come on.’ She held out her hand. ‘Say goodnight to Mr and Mrs Sawyer, and thank them for letting us stay with them.’

  He came obediently, took her hand and gave one of his most beguiling smiles. ‘Night, and thank you.’

  ‘We are so happy you came.’ Hetty had tears in her eyes when she kissed him. ‘We’ll all have a lovely day together tomorrow.’

  The kiss had produced a shy smile as he trotted beside Angie upstairs to the bathroom.

  They were using the room that she had once shared with Jane because it had two single beds. She had asked if they could be in the same bedroom: she didn’t want Danny waking anyone else up if he cried out in the night.

  Danny was soon bathed and tucked up in bed. Angie sat beside him, and he was asleep within five minutes. It had been a long and exciting day for him. Leaving the door open so she could hear him if he called her, she went back downstairs and found John and Hetty sitting quietly in the lounge.

  ‘Come and sit down here, Angie.’ Hetty patted the empty seat next to her on the settee. ‘You look fair worn out. What a difficult time you’ve had.’

  Feeling drained, Angie couldn’t hide the sigh of relief.

  As soon as she was settled, John leant forward, elbows on knees. ‘You must tell us about Jane and her son. We didn’t ask questions in front of the lad, but we’re dead worried. How old is Danny?’

  ‘He was three in May – the day Jane died.’

  Angie could almost hear their minds working, and it didn’t take them long to come up with the answer.

  ‘So that means Jane was pregnant when she left here.’ Hetty appeared distressed. ‘Why didn’t she tell us?’

  ‘I know why!’ John exploded. ‘I’d have found out who was responsible, and then I’d have broken his bloody neck. She was only a child, and under our care.’ He was now pacing the room.

  ‘Don’t shout, dear,’ his wife told him. ‘You’ll wake the boy.’

  John muttered under his breath and moderated his tone. ‘Who was he, Angie?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ She then told them as much as she knew, and by the time she had finished John had calmed down.

  ‘I’m so glad you came to us,’ Hetty said. ‘Let’s hope we can help the poor little scrap get over his mother’s death.’

  ‘I’m hoping a change in scenery with plenty to occupy him will do that. Jane loved him very much, and I believe she loved his father as well, but because of her health she’d cut herself off from him.’ Angie looked at them expectantly. ‘I was hoping you might know who her friends were.’

  ‘She used to go to the pictures with the two Chandler girls, but I always drove her there myself and brought her back.’ John gazed into space, a deep furrow in his brow.

  ‘Jane mentioned them in her letters, but I want to know if she had any particular boyfriend.’

  ‘Not that we were aware of. We did have a lot of casual labour during the war … and just after. Bob used to come for a meal now and again and a couple of the others from the camp.’

  ‘But, John,’ Hetty interrupted, ‘Jane never showed any great interest in them. She was friendly, that’s all. She was friendly with everyone.’

  ‘That’s what we thought at the time, but some blighter got past our guard.’ He ran a hand over his eyes. ‘I’m sorry, Angie, we should have taken better care of her. I’m furious that we never noticed her interest in some man.’

  ‘You mustn’t feel like that!’ Angie was immediately on her feet, not wanting these kind people to blame themselves. But she couldn’t help feeling disappointed that they didn’t know the man her cousin had been friendly with. ‘Jane adored her son, and so do I. Whatever happened, I know she never regretted having Danny. He’s a lovely child and has brought both of us great joy.’

  ‘Then we must be happy about that.’ Hetty smiled at last. ‘He really is an appealing child.’

  Angie chuckled quietly. ‘I hope you still think like that after he’s been helping you with the farm for a few days.’

  The atmosphere lightened and they all grinned.

  Major Robert Strachan strode around the now deserted camp, allowing the memories to flood back. He wasn’t usually one to dwell on the past. Most of that was best forgotten, like Dunkirk and then his time as one of the Desert Rats. But he was a professional soldier, and accepted the rigours and dangers of the battlefield. He had been away for long periods, and it was on his return from the desert that he’d found his wife had left him for someone else, without even having the decency to write to him. A ‘Dear John’ letter would have been preferable to the shock of finding her gone. His smile was wry. The betrayal no longer hurt him, and he wouldn’t marry again. Army life was anathema to a happy marriage, especially to someone who couldn’t adapt.

  He opened the door of Hut 6 and walked in; looking around, he could almost feel the hostile stares of the German prisoners that had always greeted his arrival. Strange, but he could remember only one or two faces. On a crude wooden table was a small tin that had once held bright blue paint: the colour of the little lad’s wooden toy. He had been intrigued when he’d seen it, but as soon as he knew they were going to Huntstile he understood. Many such toys were made here during the war and given to the local children.

  Leaving the hut and closing the door, he continued his prowl. How quiet it was now: no shouting, jeering or singing. Ah, how he remembered the singing. He had often thrown open his office window and listened to the rousing songs.

  He paused to light a cigarette, watching the smoke drift into the air. After Rommel had been beaten, he’d been in the thick of D-Day. The exhilaration as they’d pushed towards Germany was something he would never forget. At last they were going to finish the war, and he was determined to go all the way to Berlin. Bob rubbed his left leg. That had been his intention anyway, until they’d come under fire from tanks hidden behind some derelict buildings. A blast threw him in the air, and the next thing he knew he was in a military hospital with his leg in a mess. He was shipped back home, where the skill of the surgeons saved his leg. He made a good recovery, and, although he had a slight limp, he was eager to get back in the fight again. The top brass had other ideas and sent him to take charge of this camp. He was furious and not in any mood to stand the truculent attitude he met when he arrived. There were two hardened Nazis trying to intimidate the rest of the prisoners. There was a grading system of white, grey and black. The Nazis were classed as black. It didn’t take him long to discover that the majority of white or grey prisoners were not looking for trouble, so he had the difficult men shifted to a tougher camp. Things settled down after that. He’d come to like some of them, especially the Luftwaffe crews. Many had been real gentlemen, but they still needed to be watched carefully.

  As the war drew to a close, the prisoners were shown films of the concentration camps. Some refused to believe it; others were openly distressed. He remembered one man stumbling outside; he’d followed, finding him being violently sick and tears in his eyes.

  ‘Are you all right?’ Bob as
ked, feeling shock as the man faced him. The look of despair on his face was something he would never forget.

  ‘If you were me, would you be all right?’ he ground out, violence just under the surface.

  Bob sighed. In view of what they’d just seen, there was no answer to that. He stubbed out his cigarette and leant against a hut, looking up at the clear sky with a bright moon shining.

  Repatriation of the prisoners had taken a long time, the last leaving only this year. Some had nothing to go back to Germany for and had stayed here as DPs – displaced persons.

  He straightened up and continued to walk towards his office. In just two weeks he would be on his way to a posting in Germany, but before that he had the tiresome job of clearing up and shutting down this camp.

  Perhaps he’d take out the girl and the child he’d met on the train. She had been quite lovely, with chestnut hair and hazel eyes. It would be a way to pass a few pleasant hours. The boy had called her Auntie Angel, and, as far as he could see, that was quite appropriate. Though if the colour of her hair was anything to go by, she was an Angel with a temper. He had watched fire flash through her eyes during the journey, when she’d thought he might be the child’s father. But he had the impression that it would take a great deal to make her erupt.

  ‘Is it time yet?’

  Angie woke suddenly to find Danny kneeling on her bed and whispering in her ear. She sat up and reached for the clock on the bedside table, peering at it in the gloom. ‘It’s only half past four.’

  ‘When we got to be up, then?’

  Propping herself against the headboard, she smiled. That had been the best night’s sleep they’d had for some time. He hadn’t called out or had bad dreams. She was so glad they’d come here. The farm would heal Danny, as it had her and Jane after their parents had been killed.

  Danny wriggled about until he was sitting beside her. She placed an arm around him and he snuggled up closely.