Fall From Grace

by Michelle Gross

  “I really want to see you Grace,” he surprised me by saying.

  “Me too,” I said a bit too breathy for someone that was supposed to have a boyfriend.

  “How about we… hang out next weekend?” he asked.

  My heart leaped from my chest. “I’d really like that.”

  “Think your mom will let you?” he asked. She wasn’t the one I worried about but I didn’t plan on telling Dad as long as Mom didn’t.

  “Yeah.” I curled my feet up as I sat on the bed. “So…”

  “I know where you’re going, and we are not having this conversation at two o’clock in the afternoon,” he paused, “I’ll call you tonight then you can ask me whatever until you’re satisfied.”

  “I feel like you’re trying to prolong this conversation as long as you can.”

  He sighed into the phone. “I don’t want to tell you what I’ve done with another girl.”

  “Too bad,” I said.

  “Why are you so curious?” he asked suddenly. “I feel like this will only make the distance between us seem bigger than I want it to be.”

  Because I was a glutton for punishment, apparently. “We’ve always been close, even more than Sara and Tiffany, you’ve always been my best friend… What’s wrong with telling each other these things? I would tell you if I had…”

  “All right, Priss,” he muttered. “I’ll tell you everything in detail tonight so that you’re pretty little head is satisfied.”

  I wasted the day away waiting for night to fall just so I could hear Noah’s dirty details. My brain wasn’t wired right when it came to him. I was sad that he had been with other girls but at the same time, I couldn’t wait to hear what all he’d done. Maybe if I hadn’t seen Noah this Friday, I would have eventually gone further with Dustin and would’ve had a story to share with Noah. But more than a story, I wanted Noah to be in mine.

  Now that I knew where to look on Facebook, I found myself on several people’s profiles that went to the same school as Noah and regretted it as soon as I had. A lot of the girls had pictures of him in class, on the field, just doing all sorts of things. I saw several of him from two years ago and my stomach dropped that I had missed little things that all these other people got to see. If only Noah had an account, I would have been able to find him sooner… He never cared for things like that though… I stumbled across a picture of him with some pretty blonde hugging him and he was smiling in a different direction from the camera…

  Yep, I thought that was enough of torturing myself for the evening.

  Dustin had also switched his status back to single and posted obvious quotes aimed at me… I rolled my eyes and tossed my phone on the bed.

  Ugh… Call me Noah.

  Gus was at my feet biting my toes to get my attention. I scooped him up in my arms when my phone started going off. I squeaked and jumped on the bed with Gus. His ears flattened as he momentarily looked at me like I had lost my mind.

  “Hey,” I said nice and easy despite my excitement.

  “What are you doing?” he asked. I heard rustling in the background.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “Nothing, just got out of the shower. Heading to my room now,” he said.

  “Well, now, shall we begin?” I got straight to the point.

  He laughed lightly. “You don’t waste no time.”

  I helped Gus with the cover after he struggled to get himself underneath it before I climbed underneath it myself and lay on my side.

  “Well, what do you want to know?”

  “Everything,” I told him. He groaned so I asked, “How many?”

  “Just one.”

  “Just one?” I repeated, incredulous. “I’ve not even gotten to the one.”

  “Is this what this is about?” I could hear the smile in his voice. “You hate that you’re still a virgin? Dustin that lacking when it comes to kissing?” he couldn’t help but ask.

  “Don’t change the subject,” I griped. “Did you like her…?”

  He laughed at me. “Well, I sure didn’t hate her.”

  “You know what I mean,” I groaned. “Was it l—love or just—”

  “I just wanted to have sex, Priss, I wanted to explore the female body inside and out so I did. So that I can please that special someone when I finally…”

  He let his words fade and I blushed. “So… What did you do with her?”

  “Everything.”

  “Everything?” I covered my mouth and repeated. My face was so warm.

  “I guess not everything… I haven’t tried anal.”

  “Noah,” I gasped and he laughed. This was painfully embarrassing for some reason. “I don’t think I’d ever want to do that,” I told him honestly.

  “I was waiting for you to say that.”

  “Well.” I smiled and gripped my phone. “Did you make her feel good?”

  “You should know better than anyone that I’m all about making her feel good… don’t ya, Grace? After all, you were the first girl I ever gave an orgasm to.” I felt his words between my thighs. I pressed them together. This was the first time we were bringing up the events that happened before he was taken by social services. At the same time, my heart hurt because I wanted those things with Noah. “What’s wrong? You’ve gone all quiet on me,” he whispered, his words almost seemed sad.

  “I hate it, Noah,” I couldn’t stop myself. “I thought I’d be—that you’d be—”

  “I know,” his faint voice soothed and broke me all at once. “When I contacted your mom the second time, I didn’t know what we’d go back to, I made the choice to do things, I thought that you would make the same choices, hell, I was terrified that you would forget about the trashy boy that was your best friend.”

  “I could never forget you, Noah.”

  Silence.

  He finally said, “Even after all this time, nothing’s changed, has it? To me, you’re my best friend.” He paused. “You’re still everything.”

  I sunk my head into my pillows to stifle the tears. “You’re my best friend too, Noah. Always.”

  23

  Grace age 16

  Noah age 17

  I want her to come to me. I want to wrap my arms around her and strip her bare, just being able to hold her will be enough, but I can’t do those things because of the fear that I’d only push her away since she’s with Dustin. I’m in her life as a friend, but that’s definitely not where I want to stay.

  How do I seduce my best friend into leaving her boyfriend without hurting my relationship with her?

  N.P.

  Dustin ignored me all week and there were rumors circulating around Monday that I cheated on him, which probably came from his mouth. Not that I cared as long as it didn’t give me trouble with the other girls on the cheer squad, I couldn’t be too sure about some of them. I also checked our schedule to see if the boys would be playing against Noah’s team again, and we were, next month.

  I didn’t visit Noah’s dad this week. I didn’t get to talk to Noah much either between school, practice, and two ball games we cheered this week. It was the same for him plus he worked at the garage and had weightlifting.

  I scheduled my driver’s test for the next week and got Mom’s okay to go out with Noah this weekend, neither of us told Dad about it either.

  I left Gus in the house when I slipped outside to wait on Noah to pick me up. Mom and Dad were in the kitchen cooking and I didn’t know where Mom told him I was going. I just wasn’t ready to let him know that Noah was back in my life.

  I put on a bit of makeup despite telling myself not to. I couldn’t help it, I’d been looking forward to seeing him again all week. I was wearing a pair of jeans and a lowcut shirt that revealed what my mama gave me. I had on a thin gray jacket and boots. My brown hair was down and straightened.

  And when I saw his Jeep coming, I ran through the yard and out in front of him before he could even stop. So much for playing it cool. He looked like he was laug
hing as I darted around his Jeep and climbed in. “You don’t even give a person time to stop,” he told me, his eyes roving over me. “You look good, Priss, real good.”

  I raked my eyes over him the same way he had me. He had on a pair of light colored jeans with a plain black t-shirt that hugged his wide frame. He smelled good too, like really good. Whatever cologne he was wearing had me wanting to crawl over onto his lap. His smile, though, that was my favorite. He had a dimple when he smiled but only on one side. “You look good and smell good too,” I told him and looked ahead to keep from feeling put on the spot.

  He started driving and I found myself staring at his arms, and chest, and well, everything. I looked up, feeling sneaky for checking him out for so long. “So, what are we doing?” He never told me over the phone, he just said he’d think of something.

  He tilted his head back and smirked at me. “I seem to recall a promise I made, to always take you on an adventure.” I smiled at the memory and he turned his attention back to the road.

  “Just what kind of adventure are we talking about here?” I asked him.

  He gave me a devious grin before moving his hand to the back seat. When he brought his hand back up front, he held a flashlight that he shined in my face before turning it back off. “A spooky one.” He laughed mechanically.

  I stared ahead and leaned back into my seat and said, “Oh, dear God.”

  “We’ll grab some burgers on the way,” he added.

  “We’re seriously going somewhere creepy, ain’t we?” I asked, feeling my stomach knot up.

  “Yea, I’m glad you wore boots and jeans. It’ll be dark in another hour or so.” His eyes lit up with mischief.

  After going through the drive-thru at Wendy’s, we ended up at the end of some random hollow. He parked off the small one-lane road on the grass. I hoped whoever’s yard this was didn’t mind. I noticed a small foot trail heading into the trees. We weren’t going through that, were we? It was almost completely dark outside; another ten minutes and it would be. The burger I ate rested in my stomach uncomfortably.

  “Here, wear this over your jacket. It might get a little too chilly for that thin one you have.” He handed me a hoodie from the back seat. I put it on before getting out. I took another look at the trees, so eerie and way creepier than what I remembered the woods being as a kid. Maybe it was because it was dark. “I feel like… I’m not as brave as I was when we were kids,” I whispered.

  He walked up next to me and laughed. “No kidding. You’re a lot different than what you were when we were kids. I can remember you hated the idea of kissing and things.” I rolled my eye. “Now look at ya, you’re frustrated that you’re still a virgin.”

  I glared at him. “That’s because you scarred me for life with that porn video.”

  He shook his head. “Come on,” he said with a smile on his lips and when his hand came out for mine, I didn’t know how to react. I just stood there. “I figured you’d rather me hold your hand as I walked us to where we’re going... I was gonna fill you in on the story of Burt’s wife and how she still roams these woods after Burt tied a noose around her neck and left her hanging in the tree to go find her secret lover… But I suppose Dustin wouldn’t like that, does he even know you came here with me?”

  I grabbed his arm and held on tight. “It’s probably better this way, right?” He kept turning the light on and off. “Will you keep it on! We can’t even see anything.” I paused a moment. “What about wolves or bobcats?” We started moving and I looked around but couldn’t see anything beyond what the flashlight showed me. “What about bears?”

  “Don’t worry, your loud mouth will scare anything around away,” he teased, letting me lean into him as we walked. “Watch out for that log,” he told me as we stepped over it.

  “Where are we going?” I said in a hushed tone. Something other than us made a sound in the trees. “Did you hear that?” I asked.

  “No,” he leaned in, “what was it?”

  I strained my ears. “I hear something, Noah, it’s like something’s walking besides us.”

  “I don’t hear anything.” How could he not hear that? “Is it a female voice crying out, ‘Burt, I’m coming for you… Burt’.” He was messing with me.

  I smacked his arm but still held onto him. “Seriously, Noah, I hear something.” There was a scratching noise. “I’m scared,” I panicked. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I instinctively wrapped my arms around him.

  His light went out. “Shit,” he muttered.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I think the batteries need to be changed.”

  A male voice shrieked somewhere in the trees around us and I screamed as soon as I heard the painful wail. I clawed at Noah, forcing my way into his hands. I fumbled around in the pitch black. “Grace,” he whispered, sounding panicked himself. His hands came over my butt and hauled me up but I was too wild for that to happen smoothly. He held me upright as he fell to the ground, keeping me tucked above him.

  I was still screaming when the flashlight came on between us. His evil grin played with my heart as he shined the light in his face and started laughing like a hyena. Now that I wasn’t screaming anymore, I could hear two other voices laughing behind us. “Noah,” I hissed, jabbing my elbow into his chest until he hissed. “This is not the kind of adventures I was talking about.”

  “Ow,” he said while laughing. “You never were specific.”

  “Damn,” a male muttered behind us. I moved off Noah and stood. “I bet my parents could hear her back at the house.”

  “What the hell are you two doing here?” Noah asked as he stood.

  “Here’s the keys,” the other guy tossed them to Noah.

  “We couldn’t help it,” said the black-headed guy. “When we heard y’all coming up the road, we ran up here to wait to scare you both.”

  “Like I wouldn’t know it was you guys,” Noah told them.

  “You didn’t plan it then?” I squinted my eyes at Noah.

  “Finally, it’s nice to put a face to the one he talks about all the time since his ass moved over here in the seventh grade.”

  “Jack,” Noah warned. “These two idiots are Jack and Lance.” He pointed to each of them.

  I pushed my hair back and tried to smile. My heart was still racing from being terrified. “I’m Grace.”

  “Oh, we know who you are,” Lance informed me and I couldn’t help but smile.

  “Okay, you had your fun,” Noah told them. “We’re heading up to the cabin, tell your dad I said thanks for letting me bring her up here.”

  “We picked up what you asked for,” Lance said then winked at me. I gave Noah a strange look and he just shook his head.

  “What was he talking about?” I asked once we started the opposite direction of them.

  “You’ll see.” It only took a couple of minutes to get to the cabin. It was small and simple. I saw power lines so it had electric. “It’s not your treehouse but it’s close enough,” he told me as he unlocked the door and turned on the lights. Everything was all in one small room. A small gas stove and table with a bed at the far end on the left. There was also a small TV. The bathroom had to be the door on the right.

  “This place is cute, I like it.”

  He turned back and smiled. “I knew you’d like it.” He walked over to the TV. “I’ve spent a lot of weekends here with Lance and Jack.”

  “They seem like decent guys despite giving me a heart attack earlier,” I told him.

  “They are,” he agreed.

  “I’m glad you were able to make friends… It seems like life has been good to you the last few years…”

  “It has, but nothing was worth losing you for that time.”

  I placed my hands together before he tossed something at me and I had to jump to catch it. I smiled when I saw what it was. “The Neverending Story.” We watched both one and two religiously during the winter months when we were stuck inside.

  “Tha
t’s what I had them pick up for me.”

  I blushed because I had thought they had been talking about something very different. “Oh.”

  He smirked. “Yeah, oh.” He took off his jacket. “I don’t know what you’re thinking but I’m sure you shouldn’t with a boyfriend.”

  “You don’t know anything,” I muttered and he turned around, don’t make eye contact Grace. “So, they’re okay with you staying overnight with friends and things?” I changed the subject.

  He nodded. “Yeah, they trust me.” I took off my jacket and sat down on the small yellowish sofa. “What time do you have to be home?” he asked.

  “Eleven.”

  “So, we should probably leave around ten,” he thought about it. “That gives us a few hours.”

  “Put in the movie,” I shooed him up when he was about to sit down next to me.

  “Always the Priss.” But he put it in. “Popcorn?”

  I shook my head. “No, just come sit down and let me see if you’re still as comfortable as you use to be.” I patted the spot next to me.

  He plopped down and my shoes were already off when I put my feet on him. I leaned back. “Ah, yep. Nothing like the comfort of having you next to me.”

  “Yeah,” his voice sounded weird.

  Only as the movie played, we were oddly quiet and what was once comfortable was quickly becoming an outlet of energy that flowed between us. I found myself eyeing him instead of the movie, then he’d do the same to me. I couldn’t find any words to say that wouldn’t end with me admitting that I haven’t moved on from where we left off at thirteen. Noah was quiet too, but I didn’t know his reason like I did mine. He rubbed his fingers against the bottom of my feet through my sock and I’d snicker then get quiet again. Our eyes kept meeting across the glow of the low-lit room. Sparks were freaking flying was what it felt like to me, but I also tasted the fear as it rested at the end of my tongue, telling me that Noah might treasure me in a different way than I wanted him to—the way he used to.

  By the end of the movie, I felt like I’d combust from all the sexual tension I created inside my head just being around him. I couldn’t even think of a conversation to have with him, I was so disrupted by it. This was what I wanted, what Noah so easily gave me, but I was afraid to act on them. I was afraid to tell him the truth about breaking it off with Dustin last weekend because being with Dustin when I had been pining over him had been futile from the very beginning.