Winter’s Fairytale

by Maxine Morrey

  I was in a coma for a few days when it first happened and then obviously there was a lot going on. Rob was there all the time he could be. Mum and Dad said he should rest and so did I when I was in a state to. Even in my drugged up condition. I could see he was knackered and hurting. But instead of supporting him, after the first week, once I woke up, it turned out that Caroline had started questioning how much time he spent at the hospital, and giving him grief, making him feel guilty for wanting to be with his family at the most horrible time we’ve ever had! He was so busy supporting everyone else, he was making himself ill, and he had no one supporting him! The one person who should have was more concerned about herself and going out, or on holiday, than she was about the man she was supposed to care for.

  It all sort of came to a head one night when Rob didn’t turn up at the hospital. Of course, Mum and Dad went into an absolute panic that something might have happened to him. They rang Caroline but she said she hadn’t seen him. She was in a huff because he’d been supposed to call her but he hadn’t. Mum said it had sounded like she was in a bar. Anyway, they tried everyone they could think of, including Mike, whom they’d met a few times, without luck. Mike had been worried enough to go over to Rob’s place and get Security to let him in. It was clear that Rob hadn’t been home and it was late by this point so Mike headed over to Rob’s office. Just as he and a security guard were getting to Rob’s office, one of the cleaners came running out, shouting something.

  ‘They were all Polish and I only know a few words. But I recognised one of them as “Dead”.’ Mike filled in.

  ‘Oh my God!’ My hand flew to my mouth.

  ‘Mike and the guard rushed in. Rob was on the floor. Luckily the cleaner had overreacted. Rob had actually collapsed from exhaustion. It was likely he’d been there for hours.’

  ‘And yet Caroline hadn’t bothered to check on him, even though it was obviously apparent to everyone he wasn’t doing so well.’

  ‘Exactly. She’d just got the hump that he’d refused to take her to the Bahamas the week after my accident and hadn’t called her that day. He hadn’t called her because he was unconscious on the floor!’

  ‘So, what happened?’

  ‘I got him admitted to my hospital,’ Mike took up the story, ‘we set him up with fluids and rest, ran some tests just to check nothing else was going on. He was all right. He just hadn’t been eating or sleeping much and existing on coffee alone was only ever going to keep him running for so long. I rang his parents and told them he’d just fallen asleep but that he really needed to rest – which they knew. I felt bad lying to them but telling them their son was in hospital with exhaustion when they’re sat around the bedside of their seriously injured daughter didn’t seem the best plan at the time. When Rob was a bit more with it, I told him what I’d done and said he should call them and explain. He didn’t want to. As it was, they didn’t find out until much later. I have to say, I had some explaining to do when I met them again properly!’ He smiled, then looked over at Jen, ‘I knew I had to get it right though because I’d just met this one and I wasn’t going to screw that up.’

  ‘It turned out Caroline had been at a bar. With one of her exes, in fact, whom she’d called whilst in a strop with Rob. As Mike was rushing her current boyfriend to hospital, she was checking in to The Cavendish with a previous one. And after all that, he thought I would just let him invite her to the wedding! I don’t even know what he’s thinking, going anywhere near her again! He’s bloody nuts!’

  I tended to agree. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what Rob, all of them, had gone through with the accident. Surely if you see someone you care about in pain, then don’t you automatically want to do something to alleviate that pain, even if you can’t fix it, at least make it easier, somehow? Although I couldn’t understand it, I could believe it. The thing about my job was that you saw the good, but also the bad, of human nature. I’d seen some really ugly green-eyed monsters in my studio over the years. Caroline’s behaviour had the distinct whiff of the same.

  ‘She was jealous of the attention he was giving his family.’

  ‘Exactly. Unbelievable, isn’t it? Honestly, Mum and Dad will go mad if they know he’s taken up with her again.’

  ‘Well, not much we can do about it!’ I said, standing up very inelegantly as I found out one of my feet had gone to sleep. Mike put an arm out to help me as I stood and rubbed my foot back to life. When I felt the blood start moving around again I slipped my feet into my shoes and declared that we all needed another glass of champagne. Seconded by Mike and Jenny, we all went back through to the party.

  ***

  I was exhausted after putting on a fake smile for so many hours. Rob’s dismissal of our kiss, Caroline’s – well, everything – and then Jenny’s story had worn me out. I was with her in not understanding how Rob could want to be with Caroline after she’d shown him so little care at such a difficult time. Maybe he thought she’d changed. Or maybe he didn’t care whether she had changed or not because it was just about sex so it didn’t matter. I could see that. Actually it made sense. Rob never seemed to have had any long-term relationships, in all the time I’d known him. That’s why I’d been surprised to hear that he and Caroline had lasted nearly two years. Not that that seemed to have had a lot of depth to it either, by the sounds of it. At least not on her side. His mum might be right. He just might not be the settling down type. Some people weren’t. And it stood to reason that I’d fall in love with just such a man.

  The room was quiet now. All the guests had gone and we’d all mucked in helping Eleanor clean up. Initially we’d planned to go to Midnight Mass but the snow was getting heavier all the time, and Jenny and Mike were both pretty tired. He’d had a long week with a few double shifts and it was starting to catch up with him. We decided to leave it. Rob had, as Mike said he would, remembered his promise to take the Andersons home and had returned on the dot of ten to collect them, but had promptly disappeared again. Glancing out at the snow, and pretending not to be worried, John sent his son a text.

  ‘Says he’s fine and not to wait up.’ His parents didn’t seem thrilled but they did at least seem relieved.

  ‘I’m going to Skype my parents in a bit, if that’s ok?’ I said as everyone said their goodnights.

  ‘Of course it is, darling! I hope they’re having a wonderful time.’

  ‘Me too. I’ll just wait a bit longer and make sure they’re up.’ My dad wasn’t really one for lie-ins but I wanted some time alone before I spoke to them. Just to get my head in order.

  John had banked the fire down but it was still warm in the room. I wandered through to the kitchen, running my hand over the cool granite counters, killing time, trying not to think of where Rob was right now. Who he was with. And most of all, trying not to think of the fact that he wasn’t with me. In any sense of the word, and never would be. And the thing that made it a whole lot worse was the fact that that kiss had been a whole lot more than just “nice” to me.

  ‘Hi!’ I called quietly, waving at the screen, and seeing my hand in the little screen become a blur.

  ‘Hello love!’ my parents chorused. They looked happy and relaxed. It had definitely been the right thing to do to bully them into going.

  ‘How’s the holiday?’

  ‘Oh it’s been wonderful!’ They then proceeded to tell me all the things they’d been doing so far and some of the things they had lined up. ‘It will be so funny having a barbecue for Christmas dinner!’

  ‘I bet!’ I laughed, before immediately starting to cry.

  ‘Izzy, love! What’s wrong?!’ Mum sounded so upset I felt terrible, even worse than I already did, which was saying something.

  ‘Nothing!’ I took a deep breath, ‘Nothing. Really! I just really miss you right now. It’s just because it’s Christmas and stuff. I’m fine. Honestly! Just being silly. Probably overtired, that’s all.’

  ‘Have you been overdoing it?’

  ‘No. Just the usual.�
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  ‘Definitely overdoing it then.’ Mum chided softly.

  Probably not the best time to tell them of the several nights past midnight this week then.

  ‘Anyway. Tell me more about what you’ve been doing.’

  I chatted to Mum and Dad for another half an hour before we said goodbye and arranged another chat in a few days’ time. I said goodbye, tried not to get tearful again, and waved until Dad finally pressed the end button after neither Mum nor I wanted to. Skype made a funny noise and my tablet went silent. I looked at the screen for a few moments and then turned the whole thing off entirely. Up on the mantelpiece, the antique clock shuffled its hands into place and began softly chiming half past midnight.

  I wandered back into the kitchen and looked out of the double doors that led onto the lawn. The snow was coming down heavily and the tracks Harold had made earlier were nearly all covered. Little flickers of crystal caught the moonlight and reflected back as they settled on the mini drifts now being created in the Winchesters’ garden. I thought of Mum and Dad having Christmas dinner on the beach, and of the upcoming wedding. And then I thought about Jenny’s accident, of Rob collapsing, of Mike telling a white lie to protect the people who would eventually become his in-laws. And then I thought of Rob again. How it felt when he held me, when he teased me, when we laughed. I was so stupid to have believed that it had ever been anything but friends to him. Even the kiss. I knew his preference for leggy, slightly vacuous types and how different that was from me. Why on Earth had I kissed him like that? Why did I give myself the opportunity to feel what I was missing out on? I slid down the glass door and laid my head on the cold pane. The click of toenails announced Harold’s presence. He plodded in slowly and stopped for a moment, looking at me, before making his way right over to me. He nudged my face with his nose and sat so close beside me he was practically on my lap. Gently he laid his big square head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around his warm, solid body and sobbed.

  Chapter Sixteen

  ‘Izzy?’ Rob’s voice drifted down into my dreams. Oh great. I couldn’t avoid that deep rumble even in my sleep now.

  ‘Izzy?’ It came again. I opened my eyes to find myself looking into Rob’s, and the room bathed in an eerie light from the snow that was now banked up against the patio door I was leaning on. Harold was lying with his head on my thigh and watching us both, his eyebrows rising alternately as he looked from one of us to the other.

  ‘What are you doing down here?’ Rob asked, his voice soft in deference to the rest of the household.

  ‘I…err…’ I pushed my hair back off my face and surreptitiously checked that there wasn’t dribble running down my chin. Clear. Good, that was something, ‘I was talking to my parents on Skype. I must have nodded off.’

  ‘Right.’ he said and glanced over to the table some yards away where my tablet was sat.

  ‘I was watching the snow for a while.’

  ‘You’ve been crying.’

  Rob’s tone suggested that my face showed denial wasn’t really a viable option,

  ‘Yes, I have. I miss my parents.’ Which was true. He didn’t have to know there was anything else on my mind.

  ‘Is that all?’

  Bloody hell that was an annoying habit.

  ‘No. But it’s not important.’

  ‘It is to me.’

  No Rob. Don’t do this. This is how I fell for you in the first place.

  ‘No, really it’s not.’ I gave him a little smile and pushed myself up off the floor. My bum was entirely numb.

  ‘Why won’t you tell me?’ he asked.

  ‘As I said, because it’s not important. How was your evening?’

  He stiffened. ‘All right.’ he said, without looking at me.

  ‘Good.’ I whispered, cheerily. ‘Well, I think I’d better go to bed.’

  Rob nodded, letting me past.

  ‘Night, Rob.’

  I bent down and gave Harold a big cuddle. ‘Thanks boy.’ I whispered, planting a kiss on the top of his head. Swiping my tablet from the table, I began walking away.

  ‘So, I’m guessing I don’t get one of those?’

  When I turned back to face him, Rob indicated the dog’s head. He was stood in shadow and I couldn’t make out his expression. But I didn’t need to be able to see his expression to guess that he thought this was all just a bit of fun. Two could play at that game.

  ‘I don’t think so.’ I replied, keeping my voice light, ‘After tonight, I’m pretty sure I’d fail very miserably by comparison.’

  I turned and took a few more steps, ‘By the way,’ I said, looking back and tapping the side of my neck, ‘you might want to put something on that.’

  Rob looked confused.

  ‘There’s lipstick on your shirt collar. It can be a pain to get out.’

  He didn’t say anything.

  ‘I’ll leave a can of hairspray outside my door. Soak the stain with that as soon as you can, then wash it. It usually does the trick.’

  ‘Right. Thanks.’

  Walking away, I tried not to think about how that lipstick had got there.

  ‘Merry Christmas, Rob.’

  ‘Merry Christmas, Izzy.’

  Lying in bed, I stared out of the open curtains, watching as snowflakes drifted past the window, and the trees cast moonlit shadows across the room as their branches danced with the breeze. Thoughts tumbled around in my head until eventually I drifted off to sleep.

  ***

  I was up, showered, dressed and sat talking to Harold before anyone else even sounded like they were stirring.

  ‘He’s not known for his conversation.’ Rob’s deep, sleep roughened voice said from behind me.

  I didn’t turn, just carried on playing with the dog’s ears, which he seemed to be enjoying immensely. ‘Possibly not. But he is a very good listener.’

  ‘Is there something you want to talk about?’

  ‘Nope. I think Harold and I are all sorted, thanks.’ I stood and turned around, taking a step back when I realised Rob was closer than I’d thought.

  ‘I meant with me.’

  My innocent expression probably didn’t fool him but I went with it anyway. ‘No, I don’t think so.’ I smiled, ‘Coffee?’

  He nodded and padded over to grab a mug from the cupboard, his bare feet making little sound. For such a big guy, he was really good at being quiet. I thought back to the offer he’d made yesterday, before the whole kissing thing happened, about me staying with him until I found somewhere else. Had I not gone and spoiled the possibility by realising that I was in love with him, I thought he’d probably make a pretty good roommate. Well, I guess I should just chalk that up on the ‘never to be’ list too.

  ‘Here.’ I said, handing him a freshly poured coffee from the pot I’d put on when I got up.

  ‘Thanks.’ He sipped it and I smiled as I saw the relief on his face from his first hit of coffee. ‘You should probably switch to decaf occasionally you know.’

  ‘I should? What on earth for?’ Rob looked at me as if I’d just suggested he go outside and play naked snow angels.

  ‘To give your system a rest.’

  ‘Umm, you seem to be missing the whole point of the coffee,’ he laughed. ‘This,’ he pointed to his mug, ‘is to kick my system into life.’

  ‘Ok. It was just a thought. I notice you drink a lot of coffee and I’m not sure exactly how good for you it is.’

  Damn Jenny and Mike and their enlightening me that Rob, despite being built like one, wasn’t an indestructible power house. And I had noted that he drank a heck of a lot of coffee. With long hours, and a handful of weird ones thrown in, I knew how it could be. I’d been exactly the same but a few months ago I’d made an effort to cut back and actually felt a whole lot better in myself.

  ‘You look tired.’

  Well, I thought I looked better, anyway.

  ‘Thanks!’ I smiled.

  ‘No, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.’


  I pulled a face that indicated I wasn’t entirely sure what other meaning “you look tired” could possibly have.

  ‘I just thought you’d be sleeping in a little later today. I mean, it was late when I got back and I’m pretty sure sleeping upright against a cold pane of glass with your bum on a hard tile floor isn’t conducive to the most restful of nights.’

  ‘I’m fine.’

  ‘Are you? You seemed pretty upset last night.’

  ‘Absolutely!’ I gave a big, happy grin to prove it, ‘I was just a little overtired and missing my parents at Christmas. That’s all. Just being silly.’

  ‘It’s not silly to miss people you love.’

  ‘No. I suppose not.’ But it is silly to miss people when they’re standing right in front of you, because it feels like they’ve already gone.

  ‘Do you think there is anything I could be getting on with for your mum, you know, towards the dinner or anything?’ Changing the subject seemed like a good distraction right about now.

  ‘Umm…’ Rob looked around, ‘I highly doubt it, to be honest.’

  ‘Oh.’ Great. I looked both tired and incompetent apparently.

  ‘No, no, no!’ he started. As usual, it appeared my enigmatic, impenetrable expression had masked my feelings perfectly. ‘It’s not that I don’t think you can do anything. It’s just that I’m pretty sure there won’t be anything that isn’t already done. The military thing runs on Mum’s side of the family and whilst she didn’t join up, she’s definitely got the genes! Events like this will have been planned with precision and various counter measures in place.’ His mouth was serious but his eyes were lit with humour.