I Need You Forever

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  Her voice held a nervous hitch as she asked, “Off the handle? Why?”

  I hated admitting how out of control my thinking was that night, but I did. “We didn’t know that Ethan was as much a victim as Gabi at the time. I wanted to go down to his hospital room and punch him, to take his life away like he’d taken away my wife. Kent had been with us, so he ordered the sedative and, with my father’s permission, had me admitted to the hospital for a couple days.”

  I looked away feeling like such a heel for my actions, when Robin asked, “Is that when Mr. Prescott took over the department temporarily and made me the go-to person?”

  I nodded. “I know now that my feelings toward Ethan were wrong and unjustified. I know it was all Tom’s fault for causing the accident and, like you’d pointed out, Gabi would’ve been gone to me within a short time anyway.”

  Robin was the one who finally suggested that maybe holding on to one another during the night might help us to sleep. To my surprise, she was right. I’d woken up once feeling her edge closer to me. I had to adjust my position a little, or she’d feel my morning wood pressing firmly against her backside. That’s the last I remember until now.

  I got up, wondering where she could be. The bathroom was empty, as was the kitchen, when I heard some noise coming from the workout room. I glanced in to see her on the treadmill, with earphones in her ears, jogging away at a fast pace. That sports bra and those tight lycra shorts left little to the imagination. The sight of her ass had my cock tenting my boxers.

  I walked back to the bedroom and grabbed a tight pair of boxer briefs, to help hide my arousal, along with my gym shorts and went to join her. I’d been used to getting up earlier than Nicola to get in a workout every morning. I was glad to see I wouldn’t have to change my habits to accommodate my houseguest.

  She seemed entranced on the treadmill, so I plugged in my earphones and jumped on the bike to do a little cardio before hitting the weights.

  We seemed in our own little worlds for the longest time. The bike was positioned where I could watch her. The sight of her ass and legs as she ran was enticing. I knew I shouldn’t look as much as I was, but it had been a long time since I’d craved anyone. I kept reminding myself that I wasn’t cheating on Gabi; I was trying to move on with my life. My heart hurt a little at the revelation, but I couldn’t keep going like I was.

  Robin shut off the treadmill and was turning around when, seeing me for the first time, she jumped, putting her hand on her chest. “Damn it, Jackson. You just about gave me a heart attack.”

  I removed my earbuds. “Sorry, hon. I didn’t want to scare you while you were mid-stride. We don’t need you falling and getting hurt on the machine.”

  She pointed at the bike. “Do you ride every morning?”

  I shook my head and smiled at her. “No. I usually start on the treadmill, but sometimes I prefer to shake things up and ride the bike. I have a morning routine I follow before I wake Nicola to get her ready for the day.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hog your treadmill. I just felt the need to run and release some tension and energy. Is it okay that I’m in here? Let me know when you usually work out so I can avoid those times.”

  I held up my hand to stop her train of thought. “Robin, I’ve told you before that you are welcome to any part of my house. Nothing is off-limits. There’s no reason why we both can’t work out at the same time. Besides, I could use the company.” I tried to flirt a little with her, but it was coming off all wrong and too stiff. Damn, I had been out of this game for way too long. Hopefully, she wouldn’t realize my failed attempts or just overlook them.

  I pointed at her Ipod. “What’re you listening to?”

  She handed it to me as I kept pedaling. I was surprised to hear eighties dance music playing. I looked down at her playlist and noticed we liked to work out to a lot of the same songs. “You’re a fan of the eighties?”

  She smiled for the first time, nearly making my rhythm falter on the bike. It was nice to see her face light up. “My father listened to it a lot, so I got used to certain bands.”

  I laughed. “No wonder you get along so well with Marissa, Dawn, and the rest of us. Thanks to our parents, we’re all big eighties junkies.”

  I handed her back her Ipod and continued pedaling. “Feel free to use any of the machines. I’ve got another ten minutes on the bike before I hit the weights. Then we should probably take showers and head to my parent’s house.”

  She looked confused for a bit. “Why are we going to your parent’s house? Shouldn’t we have breakfast and then head to work?”

  I nodded. “I usually grab a protein shake and a shower after my workout. Then, I go get Nicola up and ready so we can head off to my mom’s where we all have a quick breakfast together, and it’s off to work. Since I missed getting to see Nicola last night, I promised I’d spend a couple of hours with her this morning.”

  “I’m sorry I messed things up yesterday.”

  “There’s no need to be apologetic. Sometimes things happen in life that we can’t control. I’m just glad I was there to help you and that you don’t have to go through this alone. Nicola will be fine with me missing one night with her.” I smiled at Robin when I added, “I should warn you, my mother is already trying to play matchmaker to both of us.”

  It was fun watching Robin blush from head to toe. God how I’d love to lick that blush away. You’re pushing too hard again. Remember what Derrick said.

  We continued working out for almost an hour. I was fascinated with how flexible Robin was. I still missed seeing the curves she’d had but damn if her body wasn’t still fine and tempting. I had to keep imagining myself with ice down my pants to keep things in check.

  I quickly grabbed a couple of protein shakes and told her to drink up. She argued at first, but then tasted the concoction. “This is yummy. Thank you.”

  I looked pointedly at her. “I told you I was going to get some good nutrition back into your system. If you’re not hungry that’s one thing, but I don’t want you going without meals anymore just to try and save money for your father’s bills. If I’m right in what I’m thinking, I can almost bet you don’t owe as much as you think, if anything.”

  She looked puzzled. “What makes you think that?”

  I shrugged. “Well for starters, usually an insurance company doesn’t continually change the rules while someone is in the midst of treatment. Also, despite him being on disability, he shouldn’t have been let go from his company. Something about this whole thing seems fishy to me.”

  I put my hand on the small of her back and guided us back to our rooms. “I’m going to grab a shower. I’ll meet you back in the kitchen in twenty minutes.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Her response made me pause and groan internally. I loved hearing those two little words. I’d missed them. Could I hope to hear them in a different way? One step at a time, man. Take it nice and slow with her. Remember she’s scared.

  I could see my warm shower quickly turning into an ice bath and my hand getting a little extra exercise

  I’D NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY men took cold showers, but after the interactions I’ve had with Jackson the past two days, I needed one. I especially needed one after seeing him working out in the gym. The sweat glistening off his washboard abs, and the way his muscles looked every time he lifted weights. I thought I was going to overheat and combust just looking at him. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed how toned and firm he was underneath all those suits he wore to the office. Unfortunately, the shower did nothing to quell the growing need that was starting to hum between my legs.

  As I put on my makeup, I reminded myself of a few things; Jackson was first and foremost my boss, but most importantly, he had a daughter to consider. I’m not even sure she’d like me living in the same house as her dad. For that matter, how would his mom react to me showing up to breakfast this morning? I was still grieving the loss of my father, I had his company out to get me if I continu
ed the investigation, and I had Declan to worry about. I couldn’t believe he was still trying to hunt me down, and what did he mean by the threat he’d written?

  I was wrapped up in my own little world, when I heard a familiar female’s voice whisper, “You need Jax. Be there for each other. Love him. He needs you too.” I looked around to see where that was coming from but saw no one. I just shrugged my shoulders and continued getting ready.

  I guess Jackson wasn’t expecting me to be dressed and waiting on him because he said, “You’re already done?”

  “I don’t have much of a wardrobe to select from, and I use minimal makeup, so it doesn’t take long for me to get ready.” I admitted.

  He seemed to ponder a few things before saying, “We’ll see.”

  I didn’t know what he meant by that, but I followed him out to his car. He set the alarm and locked up the house before opening the passenger door to his BMW for me. I wasn’t exactly sure where his parents lived. I knew they were nearby, but boy was I shocked when he only drove two blocks down the road, also closer to the Prescott’s house. I guess this is why everyone knew each other? They all lived on the same street!

  He honked and waved to Tanner as we passed him at the end of the driveway. I still couldn’t believe we’d had someone watching over us during the night. Although, I had to admit it brought me comfort knowing we did.

  I was surprised that Jax continued the kindness by getting out and opening my door before I could even get my seatbelt undone. He offered his hand to help me out. It made me wonder if he was on his best behavior for his family or if he was trying to put me at ease. I questioned if this interaction would continue into the office, and what our co-workers would think if it did. And did I want to go there or take things easy and see what happened?

  I decided to drop my line of thought for the moment since we were here to see his daughter Nicola. “I can stay out here if you would like private time with Niki.” I thought I should offer to give him time without me being around.

  “Nonsense.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me up beside him. “I need to explain to her that you’ll be staying with us for a while, so you being here is a good thing. I’m just hoping she remembers having met you.” He laughed for a moment as if he were amused at a private joke. “My mom recalled Nicola enjoying your company at one of the Prescott’s recent events.”

  I hesitated at the door, but Jackson walked right in. He paused in the entry and yelled out. “Where’s my little girl?”

  I heard small footsteps running across the parquet floors and watched as Nicola rounded the corner with outstretched arms and yelling, “Daddy! Daddy!”

  I’d turned to close the door behind me as he bent to pick his daughter up and give her a hug and a kiss. “I missed you, sweetie.”

  She gave him a kiss on the cheek and threw her arms around his neck to give him a big squeeze. “I missed you last night. Nana read me a story.”

  “She did?” He asked comically.

  Niki nodded. “Yes. A good one.”

  “Which story did she read? Was it one of your favorites?” You could feel the love he had for Nicola by the way his eyes admired his daughter and by how attentive he was to her needs.

  She shook her head. “I not hear it before, Daddy. I like it. It was Pwincess and the Pea.”

  I couldn’t resist. Her voice and the way she said everything made me want to interact so badly with her. I held my hand over my heart. “Aww. That’s my favorite book.”

  She looked over at me for a minute and then threw her arms out for me to hold her. “Ms. Robin. Ms. Robin. You come play with me? Read me the book?”

  Jax tried to hold her back. “I’m not sure if Ms. Robin wants to hold you right now, pumpkin. You’ve got some sticky hands on you. What have you and Nana been eating?”

  Her eyes lit up as she smiled. “Waffles!”

  I touched Jackson’s shoulder. “I don’t mind holding her if she wants.”

  “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to mess up your clothes.”

  I nodded as Niki reached for me again. “I miss you, Ms. Robin. You eat with me?”

  I smiled. “I’d love to. Waffles are my favorite.” I lifted her hands up to my face and sniffed them. “Mmm. You smell yummy, just like syrup.”

  She squealed in delight as I made a mock motion of eating her fingers. She pointed to be let down. When I put her down on the floor, she grabbed both of our hands and led us into the kitchen where Mrs. Lombardi was placing plates full of food for us to enjoy.

  “I’m sorry for the imposition, Mrs. Lombardi.” I offered not knowing what else to say.

  She waved me off. “First off, call me Emily. Mrs. Lombardi was my mother-in-law, and hearing me called that makes me feel old. Second, you’re no imposition. I’m glad my Jax offered to help you. I’m just sorry for all you’re going through. If there’s anything my husband or I can do to help you, just let us know.”

  I don’t know why I was so emotional, but I could feel the tears start to well up at the corners of my eyes. Jax took Nicola and placed her in her booster seat while Emily walked over, handed me a tissue, and gave me a hug. “You’ve been through a lot, dear. It’s okay to cry. You’ve been a lifesaver to Jax and Mr. Prescott when things happened, so you’ve always got an invitation to our house, anytime.”

  “Thank you.”

  She motioned for me to take a seat. I was going to sit opposite of Jackson and Niki, when Niki spoke up and began waving her arms, “Here, Ms. Robin.” She was pointing to the seat on the other side of herself. I looked at Jax to see if it was okay and he just grinned.

  When Niki had said they were having waffles, I’d figured they were the toaster-heated kind. I was completely wrong. I’d forgotten that Emily owned her own bookstore where she served coffee and pastries to her customers. These were homemade Belgium waffles complete with fresh fruit, chocolate, and whipped cream. On a beautiful serving dish in the middle of the table were some poached eggs along with some scrambled ones, which I’m guessing were for her granddaughter.

  I watched as Jackson loaded his plate with some food and then offered to add more to Nicola’s partially eaten meal. His mom spoke up, “That’s her second plate, son.”

  He joked around with his daughter and poked her in the stomach. “Did you wake up hungry this morning?”

  She nodded and grinned as she stuffed some more waffle into her mouth.

  I was content to just sit and watch, but Jax began to load another plate of food, thankfully not as massive as his, and handed it to me. He gave me a pointed look. “I want you to eat everything on this plate. That’s not a command, just a request. I won’t be happy until you put some weight back on. You’ve lost too much.”

  My insides were on alert. I reminded myself that he was not Declan. Jax wasn’t controlling my food intake; he was merely suggesting that I eat more often. “Thank you. I’ll try, but remember I’m not used to eating this much or this often.”

  Emily sat down beside me resting her hand on my shoulder as she inquired, “Have you been ill, dear? Is that why you’ve lost weight?”

  I shook my head not knowing how to answer, especially with young ears at the table. I pleadingly looked to Jax for him to answer.

  “She’s had some trouble with the hospital pushing her to pay for her father’s bills. As a result, she’s only been eating once a day and not much at that. I’m concerned that she’s malnourished and her health will start to catch up to her if she doesn’t start eating properly.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief that I didn’t have to answer, but now felt all their eyes upon me. Emily smiled. “Forgive my son. He can be overprotective of the ones he cares most about. Just eat what you can, dear.”

  She patted my hand as she rose from the table and looked around the room. “Would anyone care for some coffee, hot tea, or juice?”

  Niki held out her sippie cup. “Nana, juice pweaz.”

  I was still feeling the effects of little sleep and began to yawn
a bit. “I’ll have some coffee, please. If you’ll show me where things are, I can get my own cup.”

  “Nonsense. I’m already up. How about you, Jackson?”

  “I’ll have coffee too, Mom.” I noticed he was fighting a yawn as well.

  I prayed Derrick and his team would work swiftly to resolve my issues so everyone could get back to their normal lives without me being a problem. All I ever wanted was the freedom to just be me and live my life how I wanted it.

  Breakfast passed quickly, and I enjoyed talking with everyone. Jax and Emily had explained to Niki that I’d be staying with them for a bit; her eyes seemed to light up with happiness at the news.

  I’d held her sticky hand as I clarified. “I’m not going to be just a guest at your house. I’m going to help your dad take care of you when he’s busy. We can play games, read books, or do whatever you like as long as your dad’s okay with it.”

  I was surprised when she yelled out, “Yeah. We have fun, Ms. Robin.”

  I don’t know how Nicola did it, but she had my heart wrapped around her little fingers by the time we left that morning. I felt like a piece of me was missing when I had to leave her and go to work. Jackson promised we’d both pick her back up after work and cook dinner together.

  Emily whispered to me. “I can already see you’re good for Jax.”

  Jackson was right. She was playing matchmaker and to my surprise, I wasn’t opposed to the idea. I knew he still had a lot to sort through, as did I, but we could always play things by ear and, as they say, “Let fate decide.”

  We didn’t reach the office until 9:30 that morning, whereas work normally started at 8 a.m. Expecting whispers, odd looks, and questions, I held my breath as we walked off the elevator together. I was surprised when I got to my desk, right outside Jax’s door, and no one said a thing.

  I kept my head down, dropped my purse into my drawer, and grumbled as I started to sit. I couldn’t believe we were getting in so late and having all eyes on us as we walked in together. What would people think?