The Uninvited

by mike Evans

  Katy said, “I don’t know, I think we will be able to last…..until at least eleven.”

  Jack said, “Just make sure you don’t get so drunk that you pass out on me. We wouldn’t want to miss a nice star filled night.” He searched through his pocket, wanting to take a pic of the two of them and realized he didn’t have his phone. “Can I use your phone Katy? I wanted to get a picture of the two of us.”

  She looked through her purse and said, “Sorry, fuck I can’t believe I forgot my damn phone. What if there is an emergency?”

  Isaac said, “We have our phones, don’t worry about it.”

  Isaac, pulled out his, showing them and when he hit the camera to come up said, “Doesn’t really look like it matters we don’t have any service anyways. We’ll be fine.”

  Katy asked, “And if we have an emergency?”

  “What, do you want to wait for an ambulance to get all the way out there or would you rather get in the truck and meet them halfway? Besides, all we plan on doing is hiking and drinking, we’ll be fine. Back in our parent's day people used to leave town for days on end without being able to reach the outside world. Don’t worry, I promise I'll send you all the photos from the weekend so you can post them on Facebook.”

  Traci smiled, looking at her phone as well; at the moment she didn’t’ care that it wasn’t anything more than an expensive camera. She knew she should have at least checked in with her mom and dad but knew that they were in nowheresville and there wouldn’t be any opportunity of doing it now. The sign for the park came up and an outage sign was hanging on it. Isaac said, “You have got to be fucking kidding me. What the fuck?”

  Traci said, “Anger management, honey. Let's see what it says.”

  “It says that it’s fucking closed. What the hell? Why didn’t they have that on their webpage? They need to update that shit.”

  Katy walked out looking at the sign seeing that they were doing maintenance on the dam and didn’t want people staying there. The sign advised that the work was scheduled to begin within the next week. She looked around smiling and walked over to the roped gate dropping it down and said, “Oops.”

  Isaac smiled, pulling through. She reattached the rope letting others know not to enter. They drove through slowly and Jack joked, “You realize how many movies have started this way. I mean the only thing we are missing is a black kid.”

  “Yeah but we have a pretty rich boy, and a slut so we are pretty fucking close aren’t we?” Isaac said laughing.

  Katy said, “Oh would you two shut up. You are going to bring bad karma to us.”

  Katy climbed back in and said, “Shut up about what?”

  “Your fiancé here and my significant not getting laid other are talking about this is how a scary movie starts.”

  Traci nodded and said, “That’s right, you guys should know, especially you Jack. She is not a fan of anything scary. Happy is good and safe and keeps her from peeing her pants.”

  “That was once, ass, and The Hills Have Eyes is some seriously creepy shit. You can’t tell me that doesn’t fuck with you. My friend who loves scary movies watched that while she was pregnant and she was done with scary movies after that. I mean she was die hard horror and gore and that movie put that shit to sleep.”

  “Are you going to be able to still enjoy yourself out here?” Jack asked.

  Katy watched as the tree’s canopy engulfed them, putting them into a short darkness, and said, “Well, shit, it’s what, one o'clock? I think we can have lunch and then we are going to have to begin drinking early. Do you think the sleeping beauties back there are going to be able to wake up long enough to help us get everything set up?”

  Jack said, “Do you really want to wake them up? It’s like a baby, you get them up and they aren’t going back to sleep for like ninety hours or however long babies stay up for. Seems like they are awake all the time though.”

  Isaac said, “Jack and I can knock it out, we are pros, don’t worry about it. If you get too many guys going at once on something, you are going to over complicate it. If you lovely ladies want to get lunch ready we will rock out on the tent and stuff.”

  Katy said, “Geez Isaac, I don’t know if we are going to be able to put those pre made sandwiches on plates and then add chips and dip to the plate. Traci isn’t much of a cook, definitely not an old married woman yet, so I'll have to teach her the ways of cooking.”

  Jack said, “Well, remember the most important thing is going to be making sure that my beer does not, I repeat does not, get empty.”

  Katy gave him a kiss and said, “Just remember you don’t want to fall asleep before me, or you aren’t going to be able to enjoy the great outdoors baby.”

  “Oh I'll nap today if I need to, don’t you worry about it.”

  Isaac said, “Yeah you know my dad naps, it's something old guys do I've heard. You guys make sure you get him a can of prune juice too, keep the old man regular.”

  Jack leaned forward. “You realize I’m like three years older than you, don't you?”

  “Yeah, it’s a shame to think what can happen in that short amount of time. Probably need Viagra and depends. Do your farts drip now?”

  Katy said, “Oh my god, if anyone gives this horn-ball a single pill of Viagra I will kill myself, I’m not kidding. You’d think after this many years he’d settle down but no, he is still a thirty year old with a fifteen year old teenage penis.”

  Isaac not able to stop himself said, “Yeah probably the same size to.”

  Jack hit his belt leaning forward to give Isaac a shoulder hit that he would not soon forget and Isaac thought about punching the brakes hard and letting the rear end of the truck slide, but looked at the two sleeping in the back and used his willpower to stop himself.

  Traci said, “Holy shit that just made my life. This place is beautiful. Second best thing today besides the engagement hands down.”

  Isaac cleared his throat, rubbing her leg up high, and she said, “Okay fifth best thing, because wow did we celebrate the engagement like there was no tomorrow.”

  Traci screamed, pointing to one of the many, many open spots. “We need to take that spot. Look at that, there is a place for a fire, and a clearing next to the lake. That couldn’t be any more perfect, could it?”

  Jack said, “No, not unless it was a five star hotel in the Caribbean, but who are we kidding? I deem this spot thou spot to get shit faced for the next few days.”

  Isaac pulled in and they got the truck unpacked, leaving Tony and Brandi sleeping in their spots. They were walking on eggshells, happy to let them sleep if they wanted to. Isaac and Jack were both confident, that if she was woken from her slumber prematurely she would be a royal bitch to deal with. They got the tent set up in no time and to their credit were able to consume two beers each during that time.

  Brandi came out of the truck, leaving Tony sitting there and looking around trying to take in the view. She saw the lake and stumbled over in her high heels, doing her best to break her neck. There she found a clear spot to sit down and let her feet soak. She pulled out a smoke and lay back flat, looking up at the blue sky and the crisp white clouds passing overhead lazily. A stream of smoke poured out from around the cigarette clenched between her teeth. The smoke swirled into the air disappearing into nothing. Katy was making plates and said, “Not that we really need the help, but it’s lovely that she decided she didn’t need to help anyone.”

  Traci said, “She’s not so much a morning person. Given it’s afternoon but I'd be confident that it’s about the same thing. We might want to give her just a little bit to wake up. She can make up her own plate when she’s ready. Boys are you ready to eat?”

  Jack nodded. “Yeah, you guys want to take the plates down by the lake?"

  They all nodded to this and within five minutes were sitting down by the lake watching the Canadian geese floating lazily across the water in front of them with an equal number of adults to babies. Traci said, “Oh my god, this is the most b
eautiful place ever. This would have been a good spot to pop the question, Isaac.”

  Isaac smiled, thinking of how they had gone through and done the ritual and was just content as could be. “Nah, I’m good with how I did it. But yeah, this is picture perfect, huh?”

  Traci pulled out her phone taking a picture of the two of them. She did not see the watcher across the lake. Jack said, “So only because I know that Katy is going to ask, let me beat her to it. How did you ask?”

  Isaac smiled and got an elbow to the gut. Traci said, “It was actually in the morning today when we were still in bed. It was very romantic and perfect.”

  Jack could see the smile trying to break free on his best friend's face and shook his head. “Probably even climatic huh?”

  This earned him an elbow to his own gut and Katy said, “Don’t be crude and ruin something beautiful. God, men are so dumb.”

  Chapter 6

  Tony sat with his head facing directly up, snoring loudly in the sport utility. The stranger walked slowly around the truck, looking in the distance at the five other occupants of the campsite. He sat watching Tony’s chest rise and fall, wanting very, very badly to stop that from happening. He tapped on the glass and then waited patiently. When Tony did not so much as stir in his sleep, he brought back a giant of a hand and slammed the window with his open palm shaking, both the window and the truck. Tony jumped in his seat startled awake looking around wild-eyed and wiping the line of drool making its way down his chin.

  “Jesus Christ!” Tony looked around, breathing heavy, fists clenched, but he saw no one. “Yeah, real fucking funny people. Why didn’t you guys wake me when we got here, damn it?”

  Tony was moving his lips and tongue around trying to gain some sort of saliva. The all-night party that he and Brandi had pulled was now catching up to him and he could feel it. He looked around, seeing the tent was already up and the camp had been made. A short moment of guilt for being uninvited in the first place and then not helping out with the work ran through his head. It only lasted a moment, as there was the thought that no one woke him up and he couldn’t help it if he was sleeping. Tony took off his seatbelt, looking at the seat in front of him and trying to figure out how to get it to move so he could get out.

  Tony after a minute gave up looking for the hidden button or lever and as gracefully as he could threw a leg over the second seat and went over, losing his balance and falling between the front seat and the second seat’s feet space. “Fucking Christ, stupid ass seats. If he had a fucking real car, this wouldn’t be an issue. I don’t need this stupid shit right after waking up, damn it.”

  Tony pushed up from the floor to his knees. A shadow fell across his face as he was pushing himself up and he fell backwards. “Real fucking funny assholes. Real fucking funny. Fuck with the new guy, yeah I get it. That fucking hurt man. I would have helped you with the tent if you would’ve woken my ass up.”

  Tony looked up, cocking his head to the side and mouthing what the fuck. He said more to himself, “I got out to get a nut off and I end up out with a bunch of weirdos for the weekend, that’s great. Hey lose the mask man, you are creeping me out and we don’t know each other all that well.”

  The figure shook its head no slowly and blew hot air on the outside of the window creating a small circle of condensation. It drew an unhappy face in it and stood back. Tony, not wanting to look weak slipped out of the sport utility, puffing up his chest and then looking down seeing that whoever it was, was not standing on a bucket like he’d thought. “Jack?” The stranger shook his no. “Isaac?” No again. “I didn’t know we had anyone else meeting us out here.”

  The stranger brought a machete from behind his back. Tony jumped backwards slamming himself into the door. He raised an arm to protect himself and the stranger brought the giant machete down, slashing across his forearm and cutting him from wrist to elbow. He screamed but his yells fell upon deaf ears that cared little about his pain. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

  The stranger knelt down and gripped Tony’s arm that was bleeding like a stuck pig. With his free arm he stuck a finger up through the cut into his knuckle and drew a face but this time it was a happy one. Tony kicked at the man’s feet but did little to keep him from doing what he wanted to. The man gripped Tony’s hair, pulling him forward and slamming his head against the back of the truck and smearing the face on it leaving nothing but a blood smear.

  Tony tried to get up now dazed and the man gripped his machete again pushing back up to his feet. When Tony looked up to him with tears in his eyes the man’s arm moved without hesitation. The blade whistled in the air as it split the front of his neck into two clean pieces leaving a flap of skin because of it. Tony tried to talk but whatever it was that the man had sliced through was leaving him without the ability to speak. Tony gripped his neck in an effort to try and stop the bleeding. Fresh red crimson blood poured through between his fingers. He tried to speak but only bloody air bubbles came from his mouth. The man knelt back down, staring into Tony’s eyes, watching the tears run freely from them.

  The man stood gripping the machete and turned to walk back out of sight. Tony sat there for a second watching as his world was beginning to turn black. He saw the edge of the trees hundreds of yards away and knew there was no chance in hell that he would be able to make it there before he bled out. The thought of how long it would take to get back to the hospital ran through his mind. He was angry now for falling asleep in the back of the truck. The fact that he was clueless as to how far away he was from any type of medical clinic was horrifying to him.

  Tony pushed up from the grass and staggered around the side of the truck, leaving blood stains the entire way beneath him and alongside the white truck. He looked around wild-eyed trying to see where the stranger had disappeared. He feared for the others coming back, but the thought of his own demise was more important at this moment than their safety. He opened the car door, hit the horn, and did not let go of it.

  Chapter 7

  The four sitting together heard it at the same time. They listened for a moment, waiting for it to stop. Jack said, “Dude, I’m pretty sure that is your car man. I hope pretty boy isn’t fucking up your ride.”

  “Why, would he be doing that?”

  Jack said, “I don’t know. Why would he be honking your horn out in the middle of nowhere? You think maybe he’s lonely?”

  “Maybe he doesn’t like waking up by himself in some stranger's car in the middle of nowhere by himself,” Traci said.

  When the horn did not stop Isaac pushed up from his lunch. “Fucking idiot. Okay, I guess I’ll go check on him and see what the hell he wants.”

  Katy said, “Don’t worry about it we will all go. Besides, we are done eating anyways.”

  Jack said, “Would it be too much to ask you guys to bring me and Traci a few beers back with you?”

  “I’m sorry but I’m not staying out in the woods with you Jack. I came out here to spend the weekend with the man I love, not sitting around waiting for more beer to come with his best friend.”

  “Oh, that hurts. Come on, Traci.”

  The four all went walking to the edge of the woods and back to the clearing. Isaac thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye in the distance by the road but a screaming full of belligerence came from his left. He looked over to see Brandi, fists clenched, screaming, “Shut up Tony! I’m coming god damn it, there’s no reason to be such a dick. You were sleeping anyway you asshole! Shut up, shut up, shut up!”

  The four just stared at her baffled. The amount of noise this tiny, thin woman could produce was mind numbing and ear splitting as well. Isaac said, “Jesus Christ, what is wrong with her?”

  Jack said, “I don’t know brother, maybe she didn’t get quite as long of a cat nap as she needed?”

  Brandi took off her high heels and marched with a purpose, one filled with purpose and hate. The other four made their way but did not go nearly as quickly as her. The idea of havin
g to talk to her when she was this mad did not make any of them want to catch up to her. When she got within twenty yards of the camp, she hurled her high heels one after another. Isaac said, “Why don’t we give them a few minutes to talk, maybe he just wants her and only her. It’s only going to make shit more awkward if we go there and they don’t want us to be a part of their talk.”

  They watched as she disappeared around the side of the truck and when she did, Brandi screamed at the top of her lungs. This wasn’t a scream of anger, but one to let them know that she was going to rip his head off, this was because she was scared for his life and had no clue what to do. She backed up, hunched over dry heaving, and yelling, "Somebody fucking help me. Somebody help him. Please now, come here!”

  The four sprinted and as they rounded the sport utility’s rear end, they saw the red covered grass. Brandi was down on the ground holding hands towards Tony and didn’t know what to do with the wounds. Jack pushed her out of the way, when she fell she started screaming all over again seeing her blood soaked legs. Jack ripped his shirt off and pressed it to Tony's wound, holding it as tight as possible without choking the man. Jack made the assumption and everyone followed along with it. He said, “Why the fuck did you do this to yourself?”

  Katy said, “What are you talking about? How do you know?”

  Jack pointed with his free hand at his arm and said, “Look at this cut. There is no stitching this easily; he’s going to need hours to fix this. He wanted to commit suicide look at this. Brandi was he acting weird last night?”

  Brandi just stared back, tears pouring now and a mess of makeup running down her cheeks. “I don’t know. We drank, we fucked, that’s what we do, so no I guess he was normal. I didn’t even know he had a knife on him that could do that.”

  Jack said, “Well, it sure as hell seems like he did.”