Texas CHAOS (Texas Heroes Book 2)

by Sable Hunter

  And then it hit her...

  Logan had never told her he loved her.

  Not once.

  Frantically she relived all of the times they'd had sex, when she'd whispered words of love and adoration to him. And other times when she'd just hug him and tell him she loved him. He'd kiss her or say something...but never 'I love you'.

  Not once.

  A feeling of desperation washed over her as tears filled her eyes. Jenna didn't know what to do. She needed her mother. But since she didn't have her, Logan's mother would have to do.

  Dragging herself from bed, Jenna mechanically completed her morning tasks. She was glad to see that Logan hadn't gone to work hungry. He'd found the breakfast casserole she'd made the night before and warmed it up. When she was dressed and ready, Jenna came down the hall and noticed a blinking light on the answering machine. She'd teased Logan about his out-of-date technology. Before she pressed the button, she checked her cell phone but there was no message of any kind there. Going to the machine, she sat down to listen – it was Logan.

  “Hey, babe. Hope you're feeling good this morning. I've been asked to go to College-Station to teach a three-day class. The instructor they'd booked had to cancel. They're in a bind so I'm going to pitch in. Take care of yourself, go somewhere with one of your friends. I'll check in with you tonight and I'll be home before you know it.”

  His voice was full of concern but not one word of love. Jenna hugged herself and debated how to go about fixing this brand new marriage that seemed doomed before it began. She loved Logan so much. In her naivety, she thought he felt the same way or maybe that she could make him feel the same way. As long as they were together, she could endure being the one who loved the most. Maybe. Well, she had three days to come up with a plan.

  Grabbing her purse, Jenna headed out the door and up to the main house in need of advice and a hug. To give herself a few extra moments to think, she opted to walk across the ranch instead of take her pickup. As she walked, Jenna let her mind flow over the events of the last few years. Gray Wolf Ranch had become her world. Her life before the fire seemed dim. The years she'd spent with her real family seemed to be nebulous and obscured by smoke and time.

  Strolling through the deep grass under the oaks made her nostalgic. Stormy saw her and came running, so Jenna stopped to greet one of her best friends. “Hey, girl.” She buried her head in the horse's mane. Was she kidding herself? Did she belong here with Logan?

  Once she moved on, she didn't need to announce herself. Louisa spotted her as she was hanging out the wash. “Jenna!”

  The familiar voice gave her a sense of peace. Jenna hurried up to embrace Logan's mom. “Hey, are you busy?”

  “Never for you. Earl's gone to town but I need a cup of coffee and a snicker doodle. How about you?”

  “Please, that sounds good.” She walked beside her mother-in-law.

  “What's wrong with my girl?” she asked. “I've known you long enough to recognize sad eyes when I see them.”

  They didn't get as far as the house. Jenna broke down in tears as Louisa led her to a swing underneath one of the big oaks in the yard. “I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Logan seems happy, but he keeps trying to push me away. All I want to do is be with him, live here, and be a part of his life. Yet he has suggested me going off to school or rejoining the trick riding group.”

  Louisa patted her shoulder and made an exasperated noise. “Men.” Picking up Jenna's hand she began to talk. “I can assure you that Logan wants nothing more than to make you happy. He's worshiped the ground you've walked on from the moment he brought you home. I do know he feels that he's too old for you, but you're the one who is going to have to convince him how foolish that notion is. Why, I've never known two people more perfect for each other.”

  Jenna wiped her eyes. “Are you sure?”

  “Of course. The day he called from the hospital after you'd been admitted, the boy was beside himself. You were still unconscious and he'd been told you were pregnant. All he could talk about was getting you home.”

  For a moment what Louisa said didn't register. She'd known Logan was worried about her. Then the impact of the words hit home. “He called you before I woke up?”

  “Yes, of course. He wanted Dad to come and retrieve Stormy as well as the other stock.”

  Jenna swallowed, her world beginning to implode. “And he told you I was pregnant?”

  “Yes,” Louisa said slowly, trying to determine what was going on. “Why?”

  Standing, Jenna didn't know which way to turn. “I need to go home. I need to think.” With a quick embrace, she was off – running. The truth of the matter slapped her in the face. The only reason Logan had proposed, the only reason they were together was because he'd thought she was carrying his child. “Oh, my God,” she sobbed. It had been her who insisted they get married right away. If they had waited, the truth of her condition would have righted itself.

  No wonder Logan kept trying to put distance between them. He hadn't wanted to marry her. He'd just been doing the right thing – again. Logan was protecting her.

  With tears streaming down her face, Jenna ran toward Logan's home. She knew what she had to do.

  * * *

  Logan wiped the sweat from his brow. “Damn, it's hot.” Anytime they ran guys through these controlled practice burns, he swore it'd be his last. “They need to invent air-conditioned suits.” Bryan-College Station was located about two hours south east of Austin. It was home to the former University of Texas rival, Texas A&M. The rivalry had quieted down when A&M had switched football conferences, but to Logan the battle of the Aggies and Longhorns would never end.

  “You can say that again,” Titan agreed. He checked his chart. “We both need to get three more guys certified. What's tomorrow look like for you?”

  Leaning back, Logan gave it some thought. “I'm supposed to manage the 'smokehouse' tomorrow till noon. After that, I'm available for whatever.”

  “Noted.” Titan looked through his notes. “I wanted to get out of here early tomorrow if I could. It's my wife's birthday.”

  “It is?” Logan beamed. “Well, that's a priority. Makenna is one special lady.” He thought of the woman he had waiting for him at home. “Speaking of ladies, I think I'll check on mine.”

  “Yes, good idea.” Titan slapped him on the back. “I hear congratulations are in order.”

  “What can I say? I'm one lucky son-of-a-bitch. I just keep waiting for her to realize she made a mistake.”

  “We're both lucky if you ask me.” Titan remarked. “I'm just thankful to be able to take care of my wife. She had a hard time with her ex.”

  “Some men don't deserve a woman's love,” Logan said, then wondered if he fell into that category. When he went home, he'd make sure Jenna knew how happy she made him. He was tired of worrying about something that might never happen. It was time to appreciate what he had, to realize how very blessed he was. “Excuse me, I think I'll check in at home.”

  They parted ways, both intent on touching base with their wives. Logan stepped off to one side of the administrative building so he could hear. He was about to dial the house phone when he noticed Jenna had left him a text message. This wasn't like her, she usually wanted to hear his voice. But knowing what he was doing, the intensity of the training he was conducting, it made sense. Clicking on the message Logan opened it up.

  Logan, I hope you are okay. I reconsidered your suggestion about visiting the Cowgirl Angels and checking out the movie thing. They are practicing just outside of Moore, Oklahoma which is between Oklahoma City and Norman. Stormy and I are headed up that way now. I left you a note that will explain a little more about how I feel, it’s on the mantel. Take care of yourself and I will check in so we can talk about what to do next. Jenna.

  To say he was surprised was putting it mildly. Confused, Logan tried to reconcile this unexpected development to Jenna's previous adamant refusal to even consider the movie offer. A shiver of apprehensi
on danced along his spine. He reread the text again. The wording was a little strange. Pressing a button, he called his house. No answer. She'd already left or she was outside. Feeling a bit desperate, he called her cell but there was no answer there either. Oh well, there were laws against using the phone while driving. He was glad she chose to be safe. He also made up his mind to get the pickup equipped with blue-tooth. In his mind he could see the Ford headed down the highway pulling the one-horse trailer.

  Running one big hand through his already messy hair, Logan tried to get a handle on what had happened. Well, he'd gotten what he asked for. Was he happy now?

  No.

  Back at Gray Wolf, Jenna had just finished loading Stormy in her trailer. She'd called Dixie and Anne to tell them she was coming to rejoin the troupe, expressly to take part in the movie. She offered no explanation other than she'd changed her mind. No one questioned her decision, they all seemed thrilled. Securing the trailer door, she knew she'd have to sit down with Logan eventually and get some answers, but what she'd just realized and learned was too fresh – too painful to deal with. When she cranked the truck and pulled out of the driveway, giving Gray Wolf one last look, Jenna thought she might cry. At least the road to Moore was a long one, she'd have plenty of time to think.

  Over at College Station, thinking wasn't getting Logan Gray anywhere. He had a bad feeling. Something told him he'd made a mistake – a big one. As soon as he could break away from this school he would. Moore was only a little over five hours away.

  * * *

  The weather was warming quickly. Spring was officially here. A wet sheen on the asphalt was throwing up a fine film as the water evaporated in the morning sun. Wildflowers were beginning to pop up along the side of the road, a dash of pink here, a sprinkle of purple over there. Jenna couldn't appreciate any of it. All she could do was keep heading north and watch the road. Every time she relaxed her brain to think, a sense of panic nearly forced her to pull off on the right-of-way. What a mess she'd made of her life – and Logan's. The events of the past few months began to crystalize in her mind. This was all her fault. She'd pushed and pushed until she got what she wanted no matter how anyone else felt about the matter. Jenna had taken advantage of Logan's affection for her and his natural male instincts. His habit of protecting her had been taken way beyond the point he'd intended. So she'd do as he asked and find a path other than the familiar one she'd longed for. A path that she would walk alone and not by his side.

  When she'd spoken to Anne and some of the other girls on the phone, they were ecstatic that she was on her way. They said the plan was to practice their routine, then allow one of the directors to come and tell them any particular shots he'd like to capture. The first question she'd be faced with, Anne relayed, was would she bull ride in the film.

  Right now, her answer was no. She'd promised Logan and she'd stand by that promise.

  Flipping on the radio to a local country station, Jenna gripped the wheel. The sky above and before her was dark. Thunderstorms were the norm this time of year. Thank goodness the arena at the Bar X where they'd be practicing had a covered pavilion. At least they wouldn't get wet in the volatile storms that seemed to pop up out of nowhere. As the miles flew by Jenna cried, wondering what Logan was doing and what he'd say when he found out she was gone.

  * * *

  Logan cut out from the training school sooner than he should have. He hated to foist some of his responsibilities off on Chief Sloan, but he was anxious to get home and then head out to talk to his wife. His parents had tried several times to call him, but he just wasn't in the mood. At least all of his guys were certified for another year. Now he needed to get his personal life on the right track.

  When he arrived at home, Logan was out of the truck and in at the door as quickly as he could move. Sure enough, he could see the envelope propped up on the mantel with Jenna's familiar delicate script. Suddenly his movements slowed and he seemed to be walking through an atmosphere too thick to move through with ease. Remembering their last conversation, he felt regret wash over him. He'd only wanted what was best for her.

  Taking the envelope in hand, Logan walked into the kitchen. He needed to find his reading glasses. Out of habit, he flipped on the small TV that sat on the bar – then he opened the letter. The noise from the TV wasn't a distraction, he was concentrating solely on the words written on the plain white paper.

  Dear Logan

  How I love you. I have loved you from the first moment I saw you. My only wish has been to belong to you. And I got it! Marrying you was my ultimate dream. Until I realized it wasn't yours.

  Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have traded the last few weeks for anything – but I came to understand that you aren't happy. New husbands don't keep trying to push their new wives away. And they tell them they love them. You never have. Not once. I said the words over and over again, but I realized you never said them back. Ever. What am I supposed to think? And then I accidentally learned the truth. You proposed to me because you thought I was pregnant. I should have known – and I pushed you to marry me quickly. I'm so, so sorry. Please begin whatever proceedings necessary to dissolve our marriage. I know you'll do the right thing. In the meantime, I've taken your advice. Be well, Logan. I won't tell you I love you, I know you don't want to hear it.

  Jenna

  Logan stared at the words on the page. His heart felt like it was about to slam out of his chest. FUCK! What had he done? She had it all wrong. But it wasn't her fault. He'd screwed up – royally. Not love her? Was she crazy? He worshiped the ground she walked on. The only reason he hadn't said it out loud was that when he did – she'd own his soul. And when – not if – she walked away, he wouldn't survive the loss. But now she'd done exactly as he feared. Jenna was gone. And it was all his fault. If he was going to survive, he had to get her back.

  The assertion that he only proposed because she was pregnant was ludicrous. But he'd known that misunderstanding could happen and it was up to him to correct it. In fact, he had lots of things to set right. And he would – just as soon as he could get to Moore, Oklahoma.

  As if he'd conjured the scene from his thoughts, the news reporter's words jumped out at him.

  He focused on the television image and froze. “God, no,” he groaned. A mile-wide F-5 tornado was headed straight for Moore. All residents were being urged to flee. An adrenaline rush of pure terror swamped Logan. Moore was right in the middle of Tornado Alley. It had been the scene of about five other devastating tornadoes in the last several years.

  The only thing Logan could think of was that Jenna was in danger. He could lose her and it was all his fault.

  CHAPTER NINE

  “Excellent, Jenna!” Anne praised her, as she slowly allowed her body to come to an upright position. Hanging upside down from a galloping horse took concentration. Her state of mind wasn't helping, all she could think about was Logan. Her heart was broken. Riding wasn't proving to be the solace it usually was. Still, as she'd been taught – the show must go on.

  When she'd arrived, Jenna had been pleasantly surprised by the welcome. They'd thrown her an impromptu party where she'd met some of the new folk. Everyone seemed nice and excited to be working on a media event like 'A Cowboy's Heart'. Jenna's favorite was Eunice Orwell who rode Jolly, a dappled roan who could line dance to Achy-Breaky Heart. That horse would surely steal the show.

  “Let's do it one more time from the top.” The director's voice boomed over the loud speaker. At his direction all of the girls and their mounts fell into formation.

  Jenna nudged Stormy to take her place. Even though she knew the routine by heart, watching the other performers and taking their movements into consideration was paramount.

  “Look at that cloud!” Ginger pointed to the northern sky.

  Jenna who'd been in the performing zone, followed her friend's eye. What she saw made her gasp. The whole northern horizon was black. A thunderstorm of massive proportions was approaching. Lightning lit up the
sky with jagged slashes of electric energy. “God, that looks serious.”

  “Well, we're under the pavilion.” Jody whispered in a tone that said she was only pretending to be brave.

  The horses were restless, prancing in place. Jenna knew animals could pick up on weather signals a lot quicker than people. Her time with Logan had taught her quite a few things. His being a first responder to all types of situations had exposed her to things other people might not be aware of. And one of those things was tornadoes – how to recognize them and how to avoid them if possible.

  “Anne, I think we need to leave,” she murmured lowly as she moved Stormy nearer their leader. “I think that cloud is going to develop into a tornado any minute.”

  “Really?” Anne stared at the bank of clouds. “It just looks like a rain storm to me.”

  About that time, a chorus of gasps went up from the group. A funnel cloud had formed, a swirling mass of blackness that hovered in the air, then reached for the ground – growing as it went. All of the things that Jenna had learned came flowing back. She remembered what Logan had told her of the tornadoes in Jarrell, Waco, and Wichita Falls – all between here and home, right in the heart of Tornado Alley. She remembered the stories, the 300 mile winds that literally ate the pavement off the roads and eradicated whole neighborhoods as if they'd never been. “Come on, let's go!”

  In the next few minutes, the sirens began – long, low wails that built in intensity before they faded out. Jenna didn't know about everyone else, but they made her blood run cold. She yelled out directions and calls for calm as the riders all loaded up their mounts in trailers. No one wanted to leave their four-legged friend behind. The whole time Jenna kept an eye on the cloud which was growing and darkening. She could see debris being caught up in the funnel cloud and flung about like so much flotsam.