Leo's Desire

by Sundari Venkatraman

  Shaan put his arms around her thin waist, lifted her and dropped her unceremoniously on one side before opening the passenger door. Before she could understand what he was about, he lifted her again, placed her on the seat and shut the door behind her. He jogged over to take his seat behind the wheel, ignoring the string of curses Chaahat mouthed.

  He turned to her and said in a quiet voice, “Do you wanna shut up?”

  “No, I...mpft...”

  Shaan held both her hands in his as he pressed his lips to hers, effectively shutting her up. Lifting his head after a few minutes, he said, “And the next time you say ‘fuck you’, I’m going to take you up on that offer. Do you understand?”

  Chaahat pushed him away, moving as far away from him as possible, pressing her back to the door of the jeep. “Get lost, Shaan. My life was better without you in it.” Her traitor heart banged away in her chest, beating at a frenetic pace, laying lie to her words.

  Shaan shrugged. “Mine just got better after meeting you.” His eyes glowed in the interior light as he ran them over her, only pleasure on his face.

  Chaahat poked her tongue at him, turning away to look out of the window as she refused to talk to him on their way back.

  3

  Shaan whistled a tune under his breath as he walked through poly house no. 8, checking on the anthuriums that appeared more beautiful and brighter than they had on the earlier day, a smile on his face when he recalled his evening with Chaahat. She brought him alive and he so liked her badass attitude. His smile disappeared when he recalled her thin body that seemed to consist of just skin stretched over her skeleton. What could be wrong? She had refused to talk to him after he asked her that question and had jumped out of the jeep the moment he stopped it outside the farmhouse, leaving without even replying to his ‘good night’.

  It wasn’t idle curiosity but genuine worry that made Shaan want to know the truth. Would Dev tell him if he asked? Somehow, Shaan didn’t like the idea of asking Dev about his sister. While the two men got along well, his boss might not care for Shaan asking questions about his family, especially since Shaan wasn’t ready to answer anything concerning his own personal affairs.

  No, he would have to get the answers out of her, even if she tried to kill him in the process. A grin split Shaan’s face when the object of his thoughts walked into the poly house.

  “Hey, were you looking for me?” Shaan called out, walking towards her.

  “Surprise!” Chaahat grimaced. No, she had not planned to meet Shaan that morning. But her feet had carried her in the direction of the poly houses as she had overheard her brother Dev instructing his manager to go check on numbers 7, 8 and 9 that morning. And here she was, after searching in poly house no. 7 first.

  “You look unhappy,” he grinned, “as if someone twisted your arm to come looking for me.”

  Chaahat tried to glare at him, but her lips refused to behave as they turned up at the corners. She had shouted and sworn at him so badly last night, only to have him smile at her this morning. She couldn’t help but feel stirred by his sunny nature. She punched him on his shoulder, shaking her head. “You’re impossible!”

  “Really?!” Shaan’s honey gold gaze lazily studied Chaahat from the top of her head to the tips of her sport shoes, pausing a few extra seconds on her lips and then her breasts, liking what he saw. “And do you wanna screw me?” His eyes crinkled at the corners as he tilted his head sideways, his gaze provocative.

  “Grr…bye!” Chaahat turned away from him, more confused than angry. It was obvious that he was pulling her leg for the number of times she had sworn the words, ‘fuck you’ at him. But even then…Chaahat felt attracted towards Shaan and then she felt repelled. She wanted to kiss him one minute even when she wanted to beat him up the next. Why did he have to tease her so? And his kisses drove her crazy as well. Men had obliged her whims, always, unlike her parents. But this man, Shaan, was too damn unpredictable. And he was a sexy bastard over that!

  “Hey!” Shaan stopped her, throwing an arm around her shoulder. “Don’t be angry. Just that I’m attracted to you, too much.” His voice was a whisper in her ear, making her shiver in response. “Can we kiss and make up?”

  Chaahat turned to look up at him, not really knowing what to do. Her body clamoured to be near his, while her mind fought her all the way. Shaan took the decision out of her hands as he bent down to press his lips to hers and she was lost, her arms circling his lean waist as she clung to him for dear life. It was a good thing that there was still another half an hour to go before the workers arrived as the two were completely oblivious to their surroundings.

  Chaahat gave back as good as she got as she pulled the hem of his t-shirt out of where it was tucked into his jeans and ran her hands over the skin of his smooth back and his hair roughened chest, revelling in the texture.

  Groaning under her ministrations, Shaan pulled her closer, one hand at her nape while the other arm curled around her thin waist as he explored her delicious mouth with his tongue. “Chaahat…” he moaned again as he lifted his head to study her face, before he pressed his lips gently over her closed eyelids in turn.

  Chaahat jerked as she came to her senses. What the hell was she doing, allowing Dev’s manager to kiss her like this? She stared, horrified at the state of his clothes. Had she really done that to him? Unbuckled his belt and opened the button on his jeans? Her face burned with colour. It wasn’t as if she had never had sex before. But it wasn’t like her to behave like this, in such a wild fashion. She turned away, raking back the loose strands of hair from her face before wrapping her arms tightly around herself. This just wasn’t done, her losing control like this.

  “Chaahat…” Shaan placed a gentle hand on her shoulder only to have her jerk away from him, moving away a few steps. With a sigh, he walked forward and asked, “Have you had breakfast? We can go to the community kitchen now, if you’d like.”

  “I don’t eat breakfast.” Her voice was hoarse. “What I really need is a smoke. Tch! I shouldn’t have come down to Dev’s farm! Only I never knew that he had such stupid rules in place before I did.”

  “What do you mean, you don’t eat breakfast? You mean you have nothing?” There was a deep scowl on Shaan’s face as he stopped in his tracks and turned to her to pierce her with his golden eyes.

  “It’s none of your bloody business.” Chaahat continued to walk ahead, flinging the words at him over her shoulder.

  Shaan swore under his breath. No wonder she was so thin. Was she trying to kill herself? Unless she had been so ill that her appetite had deserted her. “Are you recovering from an illness?”

  Chaahat stopped so suddenly that Shaan slammed into her, wrapping both his arms around her to stop her from falling headlong.

  “Shaan! Why the hell do you keep harping that I’m unwell? There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m as strong as a horse. Stop bothering me, will you?” She tried to pull his arms away from where they were crossed at her waist even as her traitorous body pressed closer into his embrace, enjoying the feel of his muscular chest against her back.

  “But I’m bothered.” Shaan insisted as he buried his face in the crook of her neck, breathing deeply of her womanly scent. She smelled even better this morning, without the distraction of the smell of the cigarette smoke of last night. “You are too thin, Chaahat…”

  “Just too bad if I don’t fit your idea of a perfect woman.” Chaahat jumped out of his arms as if stung. It wasn’t too difficult this time as Shaan had loosened his grip while he was kissing her neck.

  “What? Where did that come from?” Shaan stared at her angry face, confusion on his own.

  “I am thin because that’s exactly how I want to be. I don’t care if it doesn’t suit your highness’s tastes.” Chaahat walked faster now, away from the line of poly houses and in the direction of the main house.

  “Listen, Chaahat.” Shaan held her by the arm and stopped her yet again. “You know very well that I wasn’t offending you. Yo
u also know that whatever your shape, I’m attracted to you. I can’t see the reason for your anger. I…”

  Chaahat turned towards him, throwing her arms up in the air in frustration. “What the hell will you have me do?’

  He grinned. “You came looking for me, right? You must have had a reason for that. Come and sit with me while I have breakfast. I’m hungry.”

  “Ugh! Who feels hungry at eight in the morning?” She made a face at him even as she fell in step with him to walk in the opposite direction.

  “Hardworking farmers who wake up at six.”

  “What?” Chaahat stopped again. “You wake up at such an ungodly hour?” She shook her head. “You’re as mad as Dev.”

  His hand at her elbow, Shaan walked on, surprised at himself. There had been a time—in another life as Nishaan Ahuja—when he used to go to sleep at six in the morning. But all that had changed as he began to enjoy his work as Dev’s manager. “Ungodly! How quaint!” He laughed.

  Chaahat found herself grinning up at him as they stepped into the dining room that could comfortably seat fifty people, with square tables placed at intervals, four chairs around each of them. Shaan pulled her along to the buffet counter where a choice of kanda poha, aloo parathas, boiled eggs, chutneys and sauces were on offer along with huge steel flasks containing coffee and tea.

  “Is an army stationed here or what?” asked Chaahat, her voice heavy with sarcasm as she noted the counter that was groaning under the food containers.

  Shaan laughed. “Then you must check out how it is at lunch time.” Mealtimes were fun at Wadhwa Farm, all the workers coming together to have their food, making every meal a celebration. Shaan had begun to enjoy this way of community life at the farm. It was so different from his life in Delhi as a billionaire businessman’s only son and heir.

  Chaahat refused to accept the plate that Shaan tried to hand her, even as he greeted some of the others who had walked in for breakfast. Some people had already finished and were on their way out to go to work. “I don’t want to eat, Shaan. I might just throw up if I swallow even a morsel.” Even as she insisted, Chaahat’s stomach growled noisily, making Shaan give her a keen look.

  He didn’t say anything as he piled his plate with food, enough for two, before they walked over to an empty table, Chaahat carrying two mugs of coffee. He began to eat the moment he settled down, taking a bite of the hot paratha dripping with butter. He licked his fingers one by one, making an event of it, studying Chaahat’s face from the corner of his eyes, watching for her reaction.

  Chaahat studied his plate and then his face avidly, watching the way he relished every bite, saliva pooling in her mouth. Without really being aware of what she was doing, she reached out to tear a piece of the paratha and popped it into her mouth. The perfectly proportioned spice in the filling and the flaky outer layer simply melted even as the flavours exploded in her mouth. Chaahat was so ravenously hungry, what with abstaining from eating too much and not having a chance to smoke—which actually helped curb her hunger pangs—that she could have eaten a whole horse. There was only so much resistance she could offer.

  Without saying anything, Shaan placed the extra spoon he had brought along in her hand and continued to eat his food silently when she dug into the mound of poha he had piled on his plate, eating her way through half of it along with one whole paratha and an egg. She sat back with a sigh, patting her stomach while sipping her coffee.

  “Do you wanna have more coffee?” asked Shaan, getting up to go for a refill, a smile of satisfaction on his face.

  “Not for me, no. And why are you grinning like that?” she demanded, glaring at him fiercely.

  “Huh! I wasn’t grinning. Let me go get some more coffee. Do you want another egg or something?” he asked solicitously.

  Her furious expression took a turn for the worse as she shot fire at him from her steel grey eyes, not bothering to give him an answer.

  Shaan went ahead, greeting more people on his way to and from the counter, bringing back another cup of coffee with him.

  “Aren’t you eating too much?” asked Chaahat angrily. To be truthful, she felt jealous, wondering how he managed to be lean and fit after consuming such heavy meals. She had watched him work his way through three parathas and an equal number of eggs along with the poha. “Where does it all go?” she asked rhetorically.

  A mischievous look on his face, Shaan bent his arm at the elbow and offered his biceps for her to touch. “Feel those muscles? That’s where.”

  “Very funny.” Chaahat pouted at him. She was too happy with her full stomach to pick up another argument with him.

  “Tell me something. Why do you not eat properly?” he asked casually, determined to elicit an answer this time. The dining hall was almost empty as it was time for everyone to be at work, except for a few stragglers.

  Chaahat sat back in her chair, her feet stretched in front of her, crossed at the ankles. “Why do you ask? It’s really not your business, is it?” The words were pretty mild for Chaahat and Shaan rightly presumed that her irritation level had dropped down drastically because of her full stomach.

  Shaking his head, he said, “Believe me, it’s not idle curiosity. You don’t need to admit it to me. But just hear me out. If you aren’t recovering from some serious illness, then you have starved yourself into losing weight rapidly. I…” He paused when Chaahat got up with a jerk, her chair falling on its back with a crash.

  “Dr. Shaan, why the hell don’t you try your psychoanalysis on someone else? Just leave me alone.” She took a few steps on her way out, only to find her hand snagged by his, stopping her in her tracks.

  Shaan could make out that he had hit a nerve. With a sigh, he insisted, “Please come back and sit down, Chaahat. As I said before, you don’t need to admit to anything. Just hear me out.” He didn’t give her a choice as he got up to lift her chair off the floor, setting it right before pushing her gently into it. “And I’m not trying to analyse you or anything. A friend of mine from college faced hell because she was overweight. Sanjana became desperate in the second year. She stopped eating and took up smoking. She shrivelled up over the next few months, looking sick and thin. Her skin and hair lost their lustre and she also aged a lot during that time. It wasn’t easy to make her see sense. For one thing, we, her friends, didn’t realise that she was actually ill and needed treatment, both physically and mentally. One fine day, in the middle of the final year, Sanjana dropped down in a faint and couldn’t be revived by splashing water on her face. She was taken off in an ambulance and hospitalised for a prolonged treatment before she could get to normal. The doctors said that she had become extremely dehydrated, almost emaciated and had developed excruciating stomach cramps. She was forced to drop that year and complete it much later. Even today, she needs to be careful not to remain on an empty stomach for long. I…”

  “Tch!” While Chaahat tried to give him a disgusted look, she was shaken by his words. Shaan could have been talking about her life. She had been twenty kilos overweight and it had been difficult to chuck it as she loved to eat. And then there was this dream that she had of becoming a model. As it is, she was starting out late at twenty-three. Girls as young as sixteen and seventeen were vying with each other to get into the forefront of the fashion industry. But thanks to her parents’ insistence that she finish her MBA, Chaahat hadn’t had much of a choice. Her excess weight had been one more reason for the delay in getting into her dream profession.

  Chaahat had been desperate to lose weight. She had been to three different dieticians and every outing had failed as she couldn’t keep away from food. And somehow, Chaahat never had the energy to exercise regularly. When she heard from someone about how starving and smoking helped him lose weight, she immediately decided to try it out. It hadn’t been easy in the beginning. But soon, she realised that the more she smoked, the less hungry she felt. And that’s how Chaahat had managed to shed seventeen kilos in eight months. She felt quite proud of herself. “Cu
t out the lecture, Shaan,” she ordered now.

  “Is that what it was?” Shaan looked intently into her eyes, his honey gold gaze pinning her.

  “I don’t care, do you hear?” Chaahat snarled. “I’ve got what I wanted, okay? I’ve lost a lot of weight in the past few months. Three more kilos and I’m good to go.”

  “So, what happens after you lose those three kilos?”

  “Huh?!” She stared at him owlishly, not clear about what he was asking, before her brow cleared. “I try my chance at becoming a fashion model. That’s what.”

  “And how do you plan to maintain your weight? By continuing to starve?”