SOLACE: Behind The Shield (Beauty 0f Life Book 2)

by Laura Acton

  General Broderick’s Home – Hall – 8:10 p.m.

  As Zach stalked away, anger in him grew. Aunt Yvonne cried as she touched a small ornament on the Christmas tree. She thought herself alone, not noticing his presence, but he witnessed her tears. It broke his heart and made him furious at the same time. Damn Dan! How can he do this to his mother? Dan is utterly heartless to one of the most caring women in the entire world.

  Zach never understood why, but he always admired Dan more than any cousin. Possibly because Dan never treated him like a baby the few times he visited when they were younger. Or perhaps with their closeness in age, only five years older than him, Dan bridged the thirteen-year gap between him and Adam. Another possibility, Dan became a Special Forces soldier, something Zach secretly wished to become but didn’t believe he possessed the right skills.

  A soldier had to be damn near perfect to make it into Special Forces. And Dan did it at only twenty years old. The special dispensation from Uncle Will, waiving the minimum age requirement of twenty-four, served to open the door, but Dan earned the right to stay on his own.

  In awe of his cousin as a teen, Zach thought Dan could do no wrong, he personified perfection. But twenty-three-year-old Zach viewed the world quite differently than the star-struck younger version of himself.

  The boyhood image of his older cousin now quashed and forever tarnished. How can Dan be so unfeeling towards his mother? How does he live with himself knowing he makes his mom cry? Well, actually, he isn’t aware of this, he would need to be here to see her tears and listen to her muted sobs. Damn him to hell!

  Now for the seventh year in a row, Dan failed to come for Christmas, and his cousin’s absence became a morose pall enshrouding them yet again. Dan never called, he never visited, and he had not written back to any of them in over three years, even though they never stopped sending him letters.

  For six years Uncle Will parroted the same old worn out excuse, ‘Daniel is in the field.’ As Special Forces General, if Uncle Will could grant Dan dispensation to join four years early, then he damned well could’ve made sure Dan came home at Christmas. But for whatever reason, he continued to make excuses for Dan to make Aunt Yvonne feel better. Perhaps they didn’t want to face or accept that Dan abandoned them.

  Anger boiled in Zach as he opened the back door and slammed it closed as he stormed out, too immersed in his foul mood to be social. Dan isn’t in the service so he can’t use ‘I’m on a mission’ as his excuse. He’s turned his back on the family. Dan’s acting like an utter jackass. Not only did he throw us away, but he also broke family tradition and walked away from Special Forces and his duty.

  Scott and Adam witnessed Zach blast out of the house in a huff. Scott said, “You should go talk to your brother.”

  Adam stared at the door. “He appeared happy a few minutes ago. What do you think upset him?”

  Shrugging, Scott replied, “Go find out.”

  Outside General Broderick’s Home – Pond – 8:15 p.m.

  Captain Adam Broderick grabbed his jacket and headed out of the house. He found Zach down by the frozen pond. Coming to a halt near him, Adam asked, “What’s got you all bent out of shape, little brother? Someone piss in your Wheaties?”

  Zach turned to face his brother, his faced reddened and fists clenched in anger as he spat out harshly, “She’s crying.”

  “Who’s crying?” Adam queried noting the intense rage.

  Turning back to the pond, Zach blew out a frustrated and irritated breath. “Aunt Yvonne. Goddamned Dan! Why the hell does he refuse to come home for Christmas? We all make the extra effort to do so.

  “The old excuse of in the field holds no water this year. He’s out of the military for God’s sakes. There’s no goddamned reason he shouldn’t be here. If only for his mom alone. I’m sick of his lies. Two years ago, I saw his CO and his friend Brody on base when Uncle Will said Dan was on a mission.

  “If Lieutenant Blain and Hunter were here, then Dan damn well was, too, but he didn’t bother to call. Dan’s turned his fucking back on us. I realize he and Uncle Will don’t get along, but that’s no reason to punish his mother. Dan should just suck it up and visit her.

  “Why would he do this to the family? Why doesn’t he tell us where he is and if he’s okay? Why does Dan hurt Aunt Yvonne by ignoring her … us? Why don’t Uncle Will and Dan have a relationship like we do with our dads? Why is Dan so different? Why?”

  Adam sighed and decided the time had come to explain a few things to his younger brother. He nodded to the bench, sat, and waited for Zach to join him. “Our cousin was not always estranged. Something happened which profoundly changed Danny. Something which shook Danny to the core and nothing’s been the same since. Do you remember Sara?”

  “Sara?” Zach’s eyes narrowed, the name evoking a vague memory.

  Adam’s eyes misted as an image of Sara’s smiling face entered his mind. “Yeah, Sara. Dan’s little sister.”

  Zach nodded. “Barely. Hit by a car or something is all I recall.”

  Wiping his eyes, Adam said quietly, “There is a lot you don’t know. Scott and I were seventeen and Jeff fourteen when the car struck and killed Sara. We remember a different Dan. A happy go lucky kid so vibrant and quick to laugh before everything ended up in a quagmire. Uncle Will and Dan once shared a close relationship. Danny changed drastically after Sara died.”

  “What do you mean? How could Sara dying change him?”

  Adam recognized that so far Zach lived a blessed life with no real pain, so he had nothing to draw from for comprehension. “It’s a long story, but it might help you understand and lessen your anger with Dan. You need to keep in mind Dan is trying to put the pieces of his life back together, and he is grieving for Brody.”

  Zach shook his head. “Brody died in May. No excuse for Dan not showing up today.”

  Sucking in a deep breath, Adam exhaled gradually. “Brother, fortunately, you never experienced a loss. Grief can have profound effects on a person. I understand all too well. You weren’t born when our grandparents died, and you were only four and too young to recall Sara’s death. And you were only eight when I lost the love of my life.”

  “Sophia … I remember her. She taught me how to make the best paper airplanes.” Zach stared at his brother watching his face cloud with pain.

  Adam’s mind conjured up an image of his fiancée Sophia. He was only twenty-two when the woman who captured and held his heart and soul died suddenly from an aneurysm. He blew out another breath and said, “After Sophia died, my world collapsed. Unable to cope with her death, I ran away.

  “After the funeral, I went home and couldn’t stand to be surrounded by everything which reminded me of my loss. I got on my mountain bike and headed off into the wilderness without telling a single soul where I went. Not that I had a specific destination in mind.

  “Scott and Jeff found me a month later and thankfully, Dad smoothed over the ramifications of me being absent without leave. When our cousins dragged me back, all I wanted to do was run again. Our parents and the family helped me through my grief, but it changed me.”

  Adam didn’t share with Zach that he had no desire to marry anyone now. He would rather remain a childless bachelor than experience the agony of loss again—afraid to open his scarred heart to love.

  Holding Zach’s gaze, Adam said, “Losing someone you love hurts too much. Dan’s actions are not intentionally malicious but borne from overwhelming heartache caused by killing the man he thought of as his brother. Our cousin is running from his agony, just like I did after Sophia’s death. Dan will resurface when he can handle the pain.

  “No one you care about has died, so you can’t truly appreciate the overwhelming force of grief. It takes more than the three days of bereavement officially granted to you to recover from the loss. It can take months or years. For some people, the devastation is too acute, and they never mend, or they cope by shutting down or changing.

  “Dan shared a close bond wi
th Brody, brothers by choice and not blood. I’d venture to say as close to Brody as to Sara. Which is saying a lot because their brother-sister bond was almost twin-like. Only two years separated them, and they did everything together. Dan always protected his sister and put Sara first in all things. He even played tea party with her when Aunty became ill. I know because I sometimes babysat them during the summers.”

  Zach’s ire still unabated, he failed to grasp what Adam tried to say. “Okay, so they were close, and he’s sad. That still doesn’t excuse his behavior. He should be here. And that doesn’t explain why Dan and Uncle Will are at odds.”

  Adam rubbed his freezing hands together then shoved them in his pockets. “Okay, short version for now. Later, inside you can ask Scott and me any questions you might have, but not around Uncle Will or Aunt Yvonne, it’s too painful for them to talk about Sara and Dan.”

  Zach nodded as some of his anger started to dissipate. He wished he had put on his jacket before he stormed out. Short story now would be okay since he didn’t want to freeze to death. He wrapped his arms around his chest and placed his hands under his armpits to warm them.

  “Our paternal Grandfather, Arthur, raised our uncles and Dad differently than our parents did us. Uncle Will, being the oldest, his father expected the most from him, so he bore the brunt of his attention. Grandfather was not mean, only hard, demanding, and all military. He believed he did the right thing by preparing his sons early for military life. Their training started when they were only ten years old.

  “Uncle Will thrived on the challenge. When pushed, he pressed harder, always achieving more than Grandfather demanded of him. It was like he was destined to be a general. Some would say it was in Uncle Will’s DNA. So, when Dan was born, our uncle emulated his father’s method of raising boys.

  “Only problem was Dan is not his father. Uncle Will pushed Dan harder and earlier, and expected Danny to behave like an adult when he was only a little boy. Aunt Yvonne, Dad, Uncle Mark, Uncle Erik, and several others tried to tell Uncle Will that he was too strict with Danny, but he failed to listen. Unfortunately, he didn’t listen until it was too late and irreparable damage had been done.”

  Zach interrupted, “What damage? Dan made it into Special Forces—no easy feat. What could have been so bad?”

  Adam glanced up at the stars and sighed. Quiet for several minutes, as he formulated his thoughts into words, he turned his gaze back to his brother. “Since you were only four and scarcely remember Sara, you wouldn’t know this.” Adam stopped as painful memories lanced his heart and he grieved again for both Sara and Dan.

  “What?” Zach prompted.

  “Sara died right in front of Dan. One second, he held her hand at an intersection. The next second, Sara lay dead on the ground, and he was completely unscathed—physically that is.”

  Adam blew out a shaky breath. “When Uncle Will and his friend Walter Gambrill arrived on the scene, Dan still knelt next to Sara holding her hand with one hand, clutching her shoes in his other, covered in her blood, and screaming like a banshee. No one could calm him.

  “Uncle Will tried to hold and soothe him with soft words, but Dan resisted all efforts to comfort him. There was some altercation with a photographer. I don’t recall what exactly that was all about. The only thing which stopped Dan’s crying was Uncle Will’s booming command voice ordering him to stop screaming.

  “I heard Mom and Dad talking about it the night before Sara’s funeral. At the order from his dad, Dan quit screaming, stood, and came to attention. The damage was done. Dan could no longer respond to his dad’s comfort, only to his command. The father-son relationship destroyed.

  “Then things got worse, much worse. I don’t have all the details, I was seventeen, but still considered a kid, so I’m only aware of the bits and pieces I picked up from overhearing our parents and uncles talking. I never asked for more information because the little I heard was too sad in the first place.

  “Dan was never the same after his sister’s death. All the light left him. He never smiled or laughed and would not allow anyone to touch him. All that was Danny was gone and, in his place, existed an empty shell.

  “Uncle Will took Dan to the Special Forces Arctic Training Base shortly after Sara’s death. I overheard a psychologist recommended a change of location because Dan would go catatonic at the intersection where Sara died. They believed Danny would recover better away from Ottawa. Although Aunt Yvonne didn’t want to let him go, she wanted what was best for him, to do whatever it took for Danny to recover from the emotional trauma of witnessing his sister die. So, Dan and Uncle Will moved to the Arctic Base while Aunt Yvonne and Becca stayed in Ottawa.”

  Stunned, Zach raked his hands through his hair as he stared at Adam. “Why didn’t Aunt Yvonne go to the base, too?”

  Adam stood and stomped his frozen feet to get the blood moving in them. “She couldn’t. Winters here are bad enough with her CFS. Her health was too fragile to move to a base where the average annual temperature is only twenty-one degrees Fahrenheit. Hell, you’ve seen how ill she’s been the past five months.”

  Acknowledging with a slight nod, Zach recalled their parents being anxious about Aunt Yvonne. They had all been concerned when her condition nosedived last August. It was the worst bout of CFS Zach remembered her suffering. Dan disappearing had not helped things. He was glad Aunt Yvonne’s health showed improvement.

  Continuing, Adam said, “Aunt Yvonne visited as often as her physical condition allowed, but when Becca started school the next year, their visits were curtailed to short ones which coincided with school breaks. They usually met in Vancouver because the weather is less severe. They tried to make life as normal as possible for both Danny and Becca. It was not ideal, but it was the best solution they had at the time.”

  A tumultuous battle raging in his mind, still somewhat confused, so much he didn’t know … so many questions, Zach asked the first one that came to mind. “Is that why Dan always calls Uncle Will, sir or general?”

  “Yeah, that started when Dan turned five, part of Uncle Will’s damned training. He called his father Dad like the rest of us do until our uncle insisted Dan refer to him as Sir. He thought it would be a way to instill adherence to rules and teach Danny to respect authority. The only time I ever heard Dan call him Dad was when we went camping the summer Danny was six. He became so excited when his dad showed up unexpectedly he blurted out Dad and Uncle Will didn’t correct him. I’ll have to tell you about that trip sometime.”

  Zach sighed unhappily. He could now understand Aunt Yvonne’s tears. Her sadness went beyond Dan not being here this Christmas. She lost two children the day Sara died. Sure, Dan was alive, but he was no longer himself. Now only a specter, the ghost of a once vibrant and quick to laugh boy.

  While growing up, he always thought it odd Dan didn’t live with Aunt Yvonne and Becca. Now he understood why, and it made him sad. Some of the tarnish on his hero worship of Dan faded away and gleamed again as his bitterness ebbed away.

  Temper released, Zach recalled a fond memory. “Dan laughed a lot when he was here with Brody after they graduated Special Forces. I remember tagging along when they went four-wheeling. We had loads of fun and Dan even let me drive the truck.”

  Adam patted Zach’s shoulder. “That was the first time I saw him happy, I mean, genuinely happy since Sara passed. So, now you might understand why Dan probably isn’t in the right headspace to be thinking of us now. Bear in mind, accidentally killing a brother would have a profound effect on him … just as Sara’s death did.”

  Rubbing his hands briskly, Zach asked one more question. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”

  “I’m sorry, Zach. I should’ve, but you needed to be mature enough to comprehend fully.”

  Zach snorted. “I may be thirteen years your junior, but I’ve been an adult for many years.”

  Adam nudged his brother. “You’ll always be a kid to me.”

  Grinning, Zach boasted. “Yeah
, well, this kid can out fly you. I just qualified on my sixth aircraft. Got you beat by two now.”

  “You keep that up, and Uncle Will’s gonna be tapping you to join Special Forces, little brother.” Then Adam blew out a frozen breath. “I’m freezing, let’s head inside. And like I said, I’ll answer any question I can, but out of earshot of our uncle and aunt. They don’t need any more heartache.”

  Zach gave Adam a quick hug. “Thanks for explaining things to me. I have more questions, but they can wait. How ‘bout we go hug Aunt Yvonne and grab a mug of hot coffee? I’m half frozen to death, too.”

  Adam nodded and slung his arm over Zach’s shoulder and pulled him close to share his warmth with him on the trek back up to the house.

  As the brothers strode to the house together, both sent up a silent prayer and wish that one day Dan would rejoin the family who loved and cared for him so much.

  Changing Tactics

  18

  January 6

  Eclipse Lighting Manufacturing – 8:00 a.m.

  His breathing became labored as Dan continued to run after one of the subjects. His normal stamina not yet fully restored, he had trouble keeping up as he chased his quarry through the manufacturing warehouse for the past ten minutes. Damn, this guy is a rabbit … no, more like a roadrunner.

  Alpha Team split up to round up all the drug dealer’s men. Dan bolted after this one while Jon, Bram, Ray, and Loki went after others. Nick worked with the patrol officers to seal off the building while Lexa, in position as Zulu One, served as their eyes on the exterior for all unmanned exits.

  The speedy subject took the corner of the next aisle, and Dan followed calling out, “Subject entered the stairwell at the back of aisle four.”

  Jon directed, “Stay with him, Dan. Bram, you’re closest, back up Dan.” Jon pushed his knee into the back of the head honcho as he cuffed him.

  Bram handed his subject off to a patrolman outside, turned, and jogged back inside. “Dan, heading your way now.”