Rock Stars Don't Like Ugly Bras

by Ashton, Nikki

  Dear Auntie Valerie – thanks for looking after me for the last couple of days. I really enjoyed myself and the food. So as a thank you I’ve left you this gift to remember me by – love Ernie x

  Amber couldn’t help the loud, hearty laugh that she let out. He may be annoying at times, but Jake also had the ability to make her laugh more than anyone else she knew – but she’d never let him know that. Even some of the things that he said to her had her giggling when she was in private. While Amber chuckled away, Jake went over to the shop and placed the ‘present’ down on the step. As it was a Sunday the shop was closed, so Jake paused with his finger over the bell.

  “When I say run, go like the clappers,” he hissed to Amber.

  Amber nodded dumbly, just glad that she’d got her trainers on and not her usual high heels. “Okay,” she said with a nod.

  Jake pressed the bell to the flat upstairs. “Run!”

  Amber faltered at first, so as Jake came running towards her he grabbed her hand pulling her along with him. Both of them and Ernie went full pelt down the lane towards the house. Still clutching Amber’s hand, Jake started to slow down as the gates at the bottom of Luke’s drive came into sight.

  “I think we can stop running now,” he puffed, bending down and resting his hands on his knees as he tried to get his breath back. “Shit, I’m so unfit. You okay, Freckles?”

  Amber nodded. She was breathing so heavily she couldn’t speak. She looked down at Ernie, who was also panting. Then suddenly she spotted her hand still in Jake’s and pulled it free.

  “That was funny,” Jake said, his breathing a little more even now. “I was sure that she’d catch us.”

  “It feels a bit naughty,” Amber replied, punching the code for the gates into the keypad. “Like playing knock and run when you were a kid.”

  “Eh?” Jake looked at her quizzically.

  Amber frowned. “Knock and run, don’t tell me you never played it.”

  “Nah, I didn’t go out much as a kid. I tended to stay home and look after my mum.” A shadow fell over Jake’s handsome features as he thrust his hands into his pockets.

  “Why, was she ill?” Amber asked as they trudged up the drive. Jake didn’t answer. “Sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have asked. I didn’t mean to be nosey.”

  “Nah, it’s okay,” Jake said, looking up and smiling sadly. “She suffered from depression and didn’t like to be alone. My dad was what you’d call absent…well, I’d call him a tosser, but that’s just my opinion.”

  “That must have been awful.” Amber instinctively reached out a hand and gently rubbed Jake’s back.

  “My dad being absent?”

  “No, your mum being ill. Although I do know what it’s like, coming from a single parent family. My dad died when I was eleven. It was tough.”

  “My dad not being around was hard, but Mum being ill was the hardest. When she was well, she was great.” Jake sighed and kicked at a stone. “According to her old school friends at her funeral, she was really bubbly and full of life. Nothing like the Eliza Hughes that I knew.”

  “Don’t you ever remember her being happy?” Amber asked. “You must have some happy memories.”

  Jake shook his head. “Not really. I just remember it was a lonely time for me.”

  “What about the band, weren’t they there for you?” Amber knew that they’d formed after high school but had always assumed that they were friends before then as they all lived in the same town. Luke was a little distant in those days, so she didn’t really know.

  “We didn’t meet until college,” Jake replied with a smile as he thought about his best friends. “Luke and Skins knew each other before because they lived close to each other, even though they went to different schools. Tom and I got talking to each other on the first day of college. We went to the same school but funnily enough we never spoke before college.”

  “Was she ill a lot?” Amber glanced sideways at Jake, hoping that their conversation wasn’t upsetting him too much.

  “A fair bit. Mainly because of my shit of a father.” Jake blew out a breath. “He was a real womaniser and didn’t care who knew it, least of all my mum.”

  Amber held back a gulp thinking of Jake’s own behaviour with women.

  “What’s that quote?” Jake asked as they reached the front door. “’The sins of the father shall be visited upon the son a thousand times’, or something like that. Pretty true, I reckon, don’t you Freckles? Although, I like to think that I treat the women I sleep with a damn sight better than he ever did.”

  Jake held the door open for Amber and as she moved past him, she paused, and faced him. “I’m sorry Jake.” And she was; sorry for judging him as well as for his childhood.

  “Ah, don’t sweat it, Freckles.”

  Amber stooped down inside the hallway to free Ernie from his lead. As she did Jake walked past and ruffled her hair.

  “Fancy a cuppa?” he asked.

  Amber stood up and sighed at the sight of the droop in his shoulders. Jake Hughes was hardly ever angry, and she’d never seen him sad, but now he just looked defeated by his past. She followed him into the kitchen and put some fresh water into Ernie’s bowl. Jake pottered around making the tea, in silence.

  “Jake?” Amber asked.

  “Yeah,” he replied with his back to her.

  “How’s your mum now?

  Jake’s back stiffened and he paused, the spoonful of sugar in his hand. He let out a long breath.

  “She’s dead, Freckles,” he said. “She died when we were on tour about nine years ago.” He dropped the sugar into a mug, and then turned to face her leaning back against the cupboard. “She’d been calling me for three days solid and I was so caught up with the band, the women and the booze that I ignored her calls.”

  Amber wrapped her arms around her waist and held her breath. “Oh God, I’m so sorry,” she eventually gasped.

  Jake shook his head. “If it hadn’t been then it would’ve been another time.”

  “You don’t blame yourself do you?” Amber took a step towards him, not sure whether she should try to comfort him or not.

  “No,” he answered with a shake of his head. “I blame her. I blame her for letting him wear her down, I blame her for taking the fucking pills and I blame her for not loving me enough to want to stay around.”

  Amber hadn’t realised that she was crying until she felt the salt tears on her lips. She quickly brushed them away, but Jake had noticed. He stepped towards her and gently wiped her cheeks with his thumbs.

  “Don’t get upset, Freckles. It is what it is, and anyway there is some light relief that came from it all.”

  “What’s that?” Amber sniffed.

  “That fucker died a painful death under the wheels of a lorry about three years ago.”

  Amber gasped, but Jake smiled and the light appeared back in his eyes.

  “Don’t think badly of me.”

  Amber shook her head. “I don’t,” she whispered.

  “Good, now did my little cherub, Martha, leave us any of her chocolate shortbread? All that running has made me hungry.”

  Amber smiled sadly at him and turned to the cupboard to find the shortbread, realising that Jake was far more complicated than the piss taking rock star that she’d taken him to be.

  Chapter 5

  “Jake!” Amber shouted for the about the fifth time. “It’s almost ten.”

  Jake was supposed to be going over to his house for a meeting with the builder, and had begged Amber to do whatever was necessary to make sure he was up in time. However, despite her repeated attempts to rouse him, he seemed to be surgically attached to his bed. He had appeared in his bedroom doorway at one point, with mussed up hair and bleary eyes, telling Amber that he was up, but within ten minutes she could hear him snoring.

  Amber, about two minutes away from fetching a bucket of iced water to chuck over him, huffed, and silently cursed Jake as she carried a pile of washing towards the stairs.
As she walked along the corridor, she stopped and kicked his bedroom door.

  “Jake,” she yelled, “if you’re late it will be your own fault.”

  “Okay, okay,” she heard him groan. “I’m getting up. What time is it?”

  Amber sighed. “It’s ten o’clock. What time are you meeting him?”

  There was a yelp from inside the bedroom. “Fuck, Andy said he’s got to leave at ten-thirty, shit, shit, shit.” Amber listened to the sound of sudden, muffled movement, followed what could only be a glass being knocked over, followed by more, increasingly profane language.

  She shook her head and made her way down the stairs. Over the last week, since their walk with Ernie and Jake’s admission about his parents, they’d fallen into an easy relationship. Amber wasn’t sure what sort of relationship it was - friendship didn’t seem the right word, maybe companionship was more like it. Whatever it was, it was better than arguing all the time.

  As she crouched in the utility room and sorted through her washing, Amber heard a series of earth shaking bumps, followed by a yell. She got up and ran into the hallway to see what the commotion was. There at the bottom of the stairs was Jake. He was lying on the floor, clutching his ankle with one hand while the other grasped at his feet as if trying to free them from something. Amber rushed over and stooped down beside him.

  “What happened?” she asked. “Are you hurt?”

  Jake looked at her and frowned. “What do you think? I’ve just fallen down half the stairs after getting my feet wrapped up in this.” He reached down and finally pulled his feet free. He held one of Amber’s bras up in the air between them. .

  Amber gasped. “Oh shit, sorry.”

  “What the fuck is that?” Jake cried as he held the bra out in front of him.

  “My bra.” Amber tried to snatch it back from him, but Jake was too quick.

  “I know that Freckles, but fuck that is ugly.”

  As Jake examined the bra, Amber felt her colour rise. It was one of her oldest but comfiest bras, and while it might not be the prettiest, it wasn’t that bad, was it? “I mean for a starter what colour is it supposed to be? White or grey?”

  “White,” Amber muttered. “Just give it to me Jake.”

  “Nah, we need to discuss it first. You need to know that this is not acceptable.”

  “Jake, please.”

  “And what’s with the puckering along the back strap…oh shit, there are bits of elastic hanging off it. Seriously, Freckles, this is not good, not good at all.” Jake turned the bra around and examined the cups. “What’s the big seam up the front for, did you once have humungous knockers and have them reduced to normal size? Have you kept this to remind yourself of what you used to have?” Jake shook his head and tutted.

  Amber, totally mortified hid her face in her hands.

  “Just give me the bloody bra back, you dick.” she growled.

  “It’s just so frigging ugly.”

  Amber lifted her head up and snatched the bra from his hands. “You are so hateful,” she cried as she shoved Jake in the shoulder. “You’re nothing but a shit.”

  “I’m sorry, Freckles. I’m just trying to help you out here. You’re a sexy woman, and should not under any circumstances be wearing anything that ugly.”

  Amber stood up and sucked back the tears that were pushing against her lashes.

  “Fuck off Jake.”

  “Hey, you can’t leave me here,” he cried. “I’m in agony.”

  “Not enough,” Amber said. She stalked away leaving Jake still sprawled on the floor.

  She threw the bra onto the washing pile and leaned back against the wall. She had never felt so embarrassed in all her life. What did she need to buy pretty underwear for? It wasn’t as though she’d be letting anyone else see it in the near future – or even the distant future. Men were just a bunch of idiots and she could do without them, especially Jake Shitting Hughes.

  After taking a few deep breaths, Amber began to calm down. She looked down at the bra and picked it up, then moving back into the kitchen, she opened the cupboard that housed the bin and dropped the bra inside. It was ugly, true enough, but she was only getting rid of it because it was old, no way was it because Jake had laughed at it. Suddenly she realised it had been almost ten minutes since she’d left Jake at the bottom of the stairs.

  With a sigh, she went to investigate where he was. When she reached the hallway, Jake was still there, on the floor, but was talking on his phone.

  “Okay, I’ll be over tomorrow so you’d better make sure that the underfloor heating is finished…I know that Andy, but you promised me almost a month ago that it would be…Yes, I agree and I will charge a penalty for every day that you go over the deadline…It’s supposed to be ready in four weeks, so if what you’re saying is true then it’s gonna cost you a lot of money, Andy…Okay, see you tomorrow.” Jake ended his call and looked up at Amber. “Oh, you’re back.”

  “Are you really hurt?” Amber asked.

  “Yeah, I am kinda in agony here.” Jake winced. “I think I need to go to the hospital.” To demonstrate, Jake pulled up the leg of his jeans to display a beautifully bruised ankle.

  “Oh shit,” Amber gasped. “Can you get to the car, or should I call an ambulance?”

  “I think I can get to the car. Just help me up would you.”

  “Okay, perhaps if you scoot back towards the bottom stair and sit on that it’ll be easier.”

  Jake nodded. “Good idea, oh and Freckles.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m sorry for laughing at your bra.”

  “That’s okay,” Amber replied, although it wasn’t.

  “It was fucking hideous though.”

  Amber wasn’t sure whether she meant to kick Jake’s ankle, but even so his scream was quite satisfying.

  “Oh, Jake,” she said with a smile. “I’m so sorry.”

  When they arrived back from the hospital, it was almost five in the evening. Both Amber and Jake were hungry and irritable. Accident and Emergency had been packed due to a road collision involving a coach full of pensioners. Luckily it hadn’t been too serious, but was bad enough for over forty people to need care and attention for all sorts of minor injuries.

  “Do you want a sandwich, or shall I just start dinner earlier?” Amber asked as Jake struggled along to the den.

  He hadn’t broken his ankle but had sprained it badly, so it had been strapped up and he’d been given some crutches to help him get around. Jake flopped down onto the sofa and sighed.

  “Whatever you prefer,” he said eventually. “I don’t want to put you out.” Jake had gathered from Amber’s silence over the last few hours, which had been punctuated only by repeated, heavy sighs, that she was still mad at him.

  “It’s not putting me out. We both have to eat, so what do you want?”

  “Ooh, now there’s an offer, Freckles. Why, what you offering?”

  “Food, and don’t big yourself up Jake. That would never be an option.” Amber lifted up Jake’s leg and roughly pushed it up onto the sofa. “And it was suggested that you kept that elevated.”

  “Okay Nursey, I can see your usual sunny bedside manner is back.”

  “Take it or leave it Jake, because this is me. Now what do you want to eat?”

  Jake shook his head. “Tell you what, Amber, you decide and just let me know when it’s ready.”

  As Jake made a point of turning on the T.V., Amber didn’t fail to notice that he hadn’t called her Freckles. Oh well, if that’s how it was going to be it suited her.

  As Amber stalked from the room, Jake threw the remote control down onto the sofa next to him.

  “Well done, Jake,” he muttered to himself. “Normal fucking service is resumed.”

  Chapter 6

  Jake hadn’t had a particularly good night’s sleep. Not only was his ankle aching and itching like mad, but he was also feeling bad about falling out with Amber. He regretted mocking her underwear, even though it was disg
usting, but she seemed really embarrassed, and he knew that he should apologise properly. He was patently aware, however that Amber wasn’t very good at accepting his apologies, and she’d been dealt a lot of them over the last year since she had started working with the band.

  Jake finally fell asleep at around dawn, so when the sound of the vacuum woke him at eight he was less than happy. Pushing himself out of bed, he grabbed his crutches, swung himself to the door and flung it open.

  “What the fuck, Freckles,” he shouted. “Do you know what time it is?”

  Amber couldn’t hear him and carried on vacuuming along the landing. Jake bent down and grabbed hold of the cable, giving it a sharp tug and pulling the plug out of the socket.

  “Thank the fuck for that,” he groaned as Amber turned to face him. “It’s too early for this, Freckles.”

  Amber simply gulped and swiftly turned back the other way.

  “Jake, clothes!”

  Jake looked down and started to laugh. He’d been so intent on stopping the hideous noise that he’d forgotten that he slept in the nude.

  “Oh, shit sorry, but can you just not hoover?” Jake noticed the stiffening of Amber’s shoulders. “For a little while at least,” he pleaded. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

  Amber sighed. “Fine, I’ll give you a couple of hours.”

  Jake looked up at the ceiling while surreptitiously fiddling with his morning wood. “Thank you, I do appreciate it.”

  “That’s fine,” Amber said, still with her back to Jake. “Are you still in pain?”

  “A bit. One more thing though, can you do me a favour later, please?”

  “What?” Amber’s tone was a little tentative. A naked Jake was asking her for a favour, and she was dreading what it might be.

  “Could you drive me over to my house later?” Jake coughed nervously, not really wanting to have to rely on Amber when she was still angry with him. “I just can’t get over there unless I call a taxi and have you ever tried to get a taxi in this village. They need about three weeks’ notice.”