Designing Hearts

by Robin Strachan

  Jill desperately wanted to put down her notes and just talk to the class, realizing that she needed to connect personally with her students. But what if they were already wishing they hadn’t taken the class? She flipped a page on her notes. Perspiration dotted her upper lip, and she wiped it away with her finger.

  “Is that the same chi that can be helped by acupuncture?”

  Jill looked up from her notes in surprise. The student who spoke was an attractive woman in her early thirties with sleek, dark brown hair that fell long and loose about her shoulders. She wore studious horn-rimmed glasses that she casually pushed up to hold back her hair. Her beige suit and cream-colored silk blouse looked expensive, and at the end of her long, slender legs were matching beige pumps with sensible yet stylish three-inch heels. She looked to be a woman who knew where she was going in life and could have any man she wanted.

  The answer to this question wasn’t part of Jill’s prepared remarks, but the woman looked like she really wanted to know. “That’s a great question.” Jill smiled and tried to look as though she was taking the interruption in stride. The reality was very different. “Please tell me your name.”

  “I’m Kristen.”

  “Thanks for that question, Kristen. I’ll try to answer as best I can.” Jill paused to gather her thoughts. “Chi is a universal flow of energy. It flows through our bodies, um, but it’s actually found everywhere and in everything.” She tucked her notes under her arm to keep from dropping them and picked up a piece of chalk, drawing a quick square on the chalkboard. With her back to the class, she took a deep breath and continued diagramming.

  “From a feng shui perspective of chi, let’s say that this is your living room and the front door is here.” She drew short parallel lines to signify the front entrance. “We start looking at feng shui from the main entrance of the home.”

  Drawing a large circle in the center of the living room, she continued, “If you were to put a big table in the middle of this room, it would block the chi—the energy flow—not to mention your own movement in and out of the room. It would be sort of annoying to walk around that table, and the room wouldn’t feel comfortable or inviting. Sooner or later, you’d probably bang into the table and hurt yourself. If you didn’t have the ability to move the table to a better spot, you’d avoid that room rather than remain in it. That’s lost space in a home.”

  Jill wasn’t sure where to go next in her prepared notes, so she picked up a design book that contained an example of a room she thought displayed poor design choices. She held up the photo for everyone to see. “The flow in a home or work space is very important, and it’s why so many architecture and interior design students study and pay attention to feng shui. As we peer from the foyer into this large room, take a look at the lowered ceiling at the entrance to the room. It obviously accommodates ductwork, but a feng shui-conscious architect would avoid overhangs like this. Why?”

  A plump, pleasant-looking young man in the back row spoke up. “It interferes with my view of the room, almost as if I was standing at the entrance to a cave. I’m Chris, by the way.”

  “I completely agree with you, Chris,” Jill said. She took another breath and kept going, feeling as if she was having an out-of-body experience. “This overhanging ceiling limits a full view of the space, and that creates the perception of limitation in that room. This is something that you would want the architect or contractor to correct, if you’re building or remodeling. Yet most times, appearance and ease of movement can be enhanced through simple and inexpensive corrections. Sometimes it’s just about changing colors or repositioning furniture or belongings.”

  A young woman with pale skin and short, curly blonde hair touched the gold cross at her throat, opened and shut her mouth as if she wanted to say something, and then remained silent. Jill took note of the gesture and guessed what the student wanted to ask. Uh oh, I didn’t think to include anything about this, either, she thought, and decided to address the issue.

  “Oh, and by the way, feng shui shouldn’t threaten the belief system of any religion, either. Create a space where you can live and work happily while being thankful for all the blessings in your life, and ultimate good will flow into your life experience. When we feel good, we attract more good.”

  She glanced over at the second male student, who eyed her with a mixture of interest and amusement. He was in his mid thirties, she guessed; decidedly handsome with a distinguished cleft chin and wavy, dark-brown hair that curled slightly over the collar of his golf shirt. But it was his eyes that captured Jill’s attention and caused her to pause for just a moment. They were an arresting blue-green, a reflection of the teal color of his shirt. She was uneasy as she finished her thought, sensing there was strong emotion behind those eyes. By now, she was feeling more comfortable. She returned to her notes, but only as a guide.

  “This semester, we’re going to learn how to avoid blocking positive energy flow in a room through the placement of furniture and objects as well as choice of colors,” she said. “We’re also going to learn how to adapt or apply feng shui ‘fixes’ or ‘cures,’ as we often refer to them, to problems in our homes that may prevent us from feeling our most happy, healthy, creative, prosperous, successful, even romantic selves. I hope that each of us can make strides toward what we want most in our lives.”

  While the other students’ faces registered enthusiasm, the teal-eyed man’s expression changed to a look Jill couldn’t quite decipher. He leaned back in his seat and averted his eyes, raking his teeth over his lower lip. He seemed to be struggling. Jill wondered why he had enrolled in the class, since he was clearly skeptical. She hoped that at some point, he would volunteer information about himself.

  “If anyone wants to comment or ask a question, please jump right in.” She swallowed hard and nodded encouragement to the woman wearing the cross, who had tentatively raised her hand.

  “My name is Shelly. I’ve heard that a person struggling with an issue such as infertility can be helped by feng shui.”

  Jill nodded. “In my experience, that’s certainly true. In fact, several of my clients who have made enhancements to their homes are now parents—in some cases several times over.”

  Shelly’s expression brightened. “But how does feng shui work?”

  “It’s quantum physics.” It was the handsome, teal-eyed man who spoke up now.

  “Excuse me?” Jill couldn’t contain the surprised laugh that escaped.

  “Quantum physics,” he repeated. “It’s what you said before. The basic premise is that everything is made up of energy particles, including the energy of our thoughts, and those thoughts have the power to create. What we think about becomes real. That’s physics.” He shrugged.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever heard feng shui described quite that way before, but I completely agree with what you just said, and I’m glad you believe there’s a scientific basis for why it works. By the way, what’s your name?”

  “It’s Joel Foster.”

  “Thanks, Joel. Now that we’ve talked about what feng shui is and why it works, this seems like the perfect segue to the next important point of information about feng shui: the bagua.” She pronounced it bog-wa.

  Jill handed out copies of a rectangular grid with nine squares. “The bagua is a nine-square diagram that we superimpose over our homes. Each square of the bagua called a gua corresponds to a particular space in the home that’s affected by natural elements such as fire, water, wood, metal, or earth.” She drew a circle on the chalkboard to include each of the elements and then turned to the class.

  “If you’ve ever played the game Rock, Paper, Scissors, you’ll see that it works kind of the same way.” She made the sign of a rock with one fist and wrapped her open hand over it to symbolize a sheet of paper. “Paper wraps around rock, but scissors cuts paper, and rock breaks scissors.” She pantomimed with her hands, first laying her palm flat for paper, then creating a fist for the rock, and cutting the air with two scissor-
fingers. “You get the concept, I’m sure. It’s a lot like that in feng shui.”

  As she considered the simplest way to describe the feng shui elements, she began to feel more confident. “The term feng shui means ‘wind and water.’ We’re utilizing natural earth elements to enhance our living spaces. In feng shui, fire burns trees, but that same destructive fire also produces ashes which nourish and create earth. There is a destructive and a creative side with all the elements. Water douses fire, but feeds trees. Metal chops trees, but creates and can even carry water in a metal bucket or through pipes. Earth uproots trees, yet the minerals in the earth also create metal. It all makes sense, if you think about it, and it’s helpful in remembering how to add or subtract from a space to solve a problem. One element has power over another, depending on the area you are trying to correct or enhance.”

  With everyone’s attention now focused on this concept, she perched at the edge of the desk, beginning to enjoy herself. “We start looking at the bagua at the front entrance of the house, wherever the main door is located.”

  “What if the door I use most often isn’t the front door?” Kristen asked. “Most of the time, I go in and out of the house through my garage.”

  “Good question. If the primary entrance to your home is through the back door or even a side door or the garage, you could start at either place as you consider how the bagua works in your home. I prefer the front door, though. It’s entirely your choice which door to use as your entrance, Kristen.”

  She moved back to the chalkboard and located the square she wanted to highlight. “This part of the bagua,” she said, pointing to the upper left hand square, “corresponds to the prosperity area of the home. Whenever you perceive yourself lacking in prosperity, you want to enhance this area to create openness for abundance. But it isn’t only money you want to draw. Remember that true prosperity is the flow of good we experience in all aspects of our lives—relationships, health, knowledge, skills, family, and so on. If you are without an income, of course you want more money in your life. Who wouldn’t? You can set forth your intention to attract more money and then make some physical and symbolic changes to that area of your home or workspace.”

  Jill grinned as several hands shot up. Clearly money was of interest to this group. “Don’t worry,” she said. “We’ll study the prosperity corner in much greater detail.”

  A pretty middle-aged woman raised her hand. “The prosperity corner of my house is a bathroom. That can’t be good,” she said in a light-hearted way. She had honey-colored hair pulled back in a barrette and a sweet expression. “My name is Trish, by the way.”

  “Water flows, so water is a good element in the prosperity corner.” Jill said. “Unfortunately, you’re correct in thinking that the toilet isn’t such a great feature.”

  There was general laughter at the remark. Jill felt on top of the world at this response as she provided reassurance. “It’s not hopeless, Trish, honest. You’d want to make sure you applied a symbolic fix so that all of your resources don’t get flushed down the toilet.” Jill tapped her chalk on the desk. “In feng shui, we often deal symbolically to correct issues. So if it were my house, I might simply tie a piece of red yarn or red ribbon around the outgoing pipes—same with the pipe under the sink. Red is a power color to overcome the problem. It’s my intention to protect my resources. Remember, it’s all about your thoughts.”

  “I’ll try that,” Trish said mildly. “Perhaps I could accessorize with something that represents prosperity.”

  “How about a basket of lottery tickets on the toilet tank instead of a box of tissues,” quipped Pam, the woman sitting next to Trish. “Or maybe you could get one of those gold paper crowns for the top of the tank and consider it a royal flush,” she finished helpfully.

  Members of the class exchanged amused glances, but several of them began taking copious notes. Jill grinned at Pam’s suggestions and passed around a hand-out on basic feng shui tips. She realized with surprise that class time was passing quickly.

  “Trish, I’ll be glad to take a look at your bathroom sometime and make suggestions,” Jill said. “I’m sure it’s not a big deal.” Desperate to continue building rapport, she had an idea and blurted it out before thinking it through. “By the way, I consider one home consultation visit part of everyone’s tuition.” Instantly, she realized this would take more time than she had anticipated investing in the class. But the words were out of her mouth now.

  “Can we get to that sooner than later? No telling how much money I’ve already flushed down the commode,” Trish answered with a grin.

  Each member of the class began to participate in the lively discussion as Jill continued explaining that the other eight blocks of the bagua corresponded to fame and reputation, relationships and love, family, health, creativity and children, knowledge and skills, career and life purpose, and even benefactors and travel. After a ten-minute break, the students continued asking Jill questions as they shared challenges they perceived in their own living and work spaces. The class was over before she knew it. Jill was pleased with her students’ willingness to consider what she presented, minus the sarcasm she occasionally endured when she mentioned feng shui.

  At eight o’clock, she said with some relief, “It looks as if our time is up. You have my office phone number, cellphone number, and work email address on the syllabus, in case you think of any burning questions. Each week, we’ll examine a different area of the bagua. Next week, our topic will be the health square.”

  As she made her way back to the parking lot and opened her car door, she noticed Joel unlocking his car, which was parked near hers. With a slight smile, he lifted his hand in a friendly farewell gesture. She waved back.

  “I loved your comment about quantum physics,” she called out. “Thanks for helping me out tonight. I was a little nervous.”

  “You’re welcome. I thought you did just fine. You didn’t even need your notes,” he said with an understanding smile and disappeared inside his vehicle.

  Chapter Seven

  When Jill arrived home that evening, she found a message on the answering machine from David, along with several calls from him without corresponding messages. Knowing David, she guessed that he had called repeatedly, hanging up in frustration when she didn’t answer, before finally leaving a message. She pressed play and listened intently.

  “Jill, we have to talk,” he said. “I know you’re angry, but living apart isn’t allowing us to take care of this problem. If you don’t call, I’m coming over.”

  Jill immediately dialed his cellphone number and wandered into the den. The last thing she needed tonight was a confrontation with David, who was quoted in an entertainment weekly as saying, “I love my wife and intend to stay married to her until death do us part. I want the two of us to strengthen our marriage and overcome what has happened. It’s never too late to save something as important as a marriage.”

  As she read the article, Jill had frowned, sensing that David again was distancing himself from the affair. It bothered her that, rather than taking responsibility for his actions, he preferred to imply publicly that there were problems in their relationship. Besides being embarrassed, she felt hurt and confusion. She wondered why he had never said anything directly to her about his concerns regarding their marriage.

  When he answered his cellphone, she could hear that he was in a restaurant. There were the unmistakable background noises of silver clinking, low voices, and soft music. She suggested that he call her back, but David clearly wanted to talk with her now.

  “Excuse me,” she heard him say in an authoritative manner. “Is there somewhere private I could take this call?”

  Jill wondered fleetingly where he was dining and whether he was alone. David was not the type of man who liked to dine alone, preferring room service, take-out, or delivery over a table for one. She took a sip of diet Pepsi, wrinkling her nose at the bubbles, and sat down in David’s enormous leather chair to wait.

>   “Jill, I don’t like what’s happening to us.” His tone was abrupt.

  “I don’t like it, either,” Jill said quietly. “I especially don’t like the reason it happened.”

  “I wish I could turn back the clock. I wish I’d known then what I know now.” His voice sounded weary now.

  “What is it that you know now, David?” she asked softly, not sure of what she hoped the answer might be.

  There was an extended pause. While she awaited his answer, she focused on the floor-to-ceiling bookcases in front of her that were filled with David’s books—mostly non-fiction by politicians and columnists—and a collection of broadcasting awards and plaques. Here and there, framed photos depicted David with a kindly looking, crinkle-eyed Ronald Reagan; two generations of smiling Bush presidents; and a timeless Walter Cronkite with his arm around David’s shoulder. This room, she realized, was a living museum to David Hennessy. The essence of him was still palpable here. Feeling a choking sensation, she bolted out of the den to the living room, where she curled up on her favorite overstuffed floral sofa, tucking her feet underneath her.

  “I know I should have been more careful and made a different choice,” he said finally. “I know that I value our marriage. I meant what I said earlier. It’s important that I come home.”

  Jill softened for a moment, but then remembered the calculated coolness of his demeanor on the night she had learned of his betrayal. The memory bolstered her resolve to be firm and to say what she was thinking without holding anything back. “David, I can’t help but wonder if the only reason you wish you’d been more careful is so you wouldn’t have been caught,” she said. “And, yes, I know you want to be here because I created a wonderful home for us and our sons. Of course you would miss that.”