Don't Try This at Home

by Ellee Hill

  It took him all morning and part of the afternoon to get everything on Jenna’s list. God, he hated parties, but Jenna loved them. Micah put up with them because it made her happy. Being a best friend totally sucked sometimes. It was even worse when your best friend was sleeping with a totally hot guy and you would give almost anything to do the same. Jeesh, he was a bad best friend, but he could at least pride himself on the fact he hadn’t acted on his yearnings. Besides, those stupid yearnings would probably get him punched in the face, so it was best to keep everything locked inside his head.

  He wasn’t going to drink to excess tonight. One or two beers would be his limit. He needed to stay in complete control of his actions and his dick. Sometimes when Micah drank a little too much, his brain went on vacation and his dick took control. Sometimes that was a great thing, but most of the time, everything went horribly wrong. He didn’t want his dick to end up anywhere it shouldn’t be tonight. Especially where Jenna was concerned. She liked to cook and had all sorts of weird kitchen tools that could easily remove bits of Micah’s anatomy. He pushed the heel of his hand against his crotch. He liked his dick way too much to put it in danger.

  “You behave tonight,” he said to his dick.

  He pulled into the driveway and ruffled his hair. It was getting long and shaggy, but he could hide behind his bangs and pretend he wasn’t staring at Cole.

  “Fuck,” he hissed. “Stop thinking about Cole.”

  Micah gathered up as much as he could carry and stumbled up the walk toward the front door, balancing the bags as he struggled with the door handle. Suddenly, it flew open, and Micah almost dropped everything.

  “Ah, shit,” Micah groaned. Cole was standing in front of him. Really? Micah couldn’t catch a break, and the guy still hadn’t put a shirt on. What the hell was the matter with him? Seriously, he could borrow a shirt from Micah’s closet if he needed something clean. Of course, that would be bad for Micah, because then Cole’s scent would be on one of his shirts.

  The last time that happened, Micah had slept with it under his pillow. Okay, he hadn’t slept with it. He had put it over his face and jerked off while taking deep breaths. Cole made Micah want to drop all his packages, fall to his knees, and suck him off right there. Micah was a certifiable fucking pervert.

  “Hi. Jenna said you would be back soon. Is there more in the car?” Cole asked.

  “Er, yes,” Micah said as he avidly avoided eye contact, but he did glance back and watch the muscles of Cole’s back flex as he walked to Micah’s car. Life wasn’t fair.

  Jenna shouted some directions at him from the living room. She was probably in the middle of a cleaning frenzy. Micah never understood why a person needed to clean the house before a party. The moment people started drinking and eating, the place exploded into one big disaster zone. Why not save the cleaning until after the party? Micah grunted a response and trudged into the kitchen to unload the supplies. He wondered if he was going to be stuck behind the bar tonight making drinks for everyone. The last time Jenna made him serve drinks, some woman hit on him for hours. Telling her he was gay did nothing to deter her efforts. In fact, it seemed to spur her on until finally Jenna dragged her away from him. No wonder Micah couldn’t get a date; he must be sending out mixed signals or some shit.

  Micah heard Cole come back inside, so he busied himself by neatly lining up several bottles of booze. Cole set the rest of the purchases on the counter and mumbled something about getting dressed before he disappeared into the living room. Micah blew out a huge gush of air and leaned against the counter. This was going to be a long day. Keeping busy with setting up the bar would help keep Micah’s mind occupied.

  But a few moments later, Cole walked into the kitchen again. He was wearing a blue shirt. Well, at least the guy got dressed. The only problem now was that the blue shirt clung to his torso and made his eyes a disturbingly dark blue. Micah did not just look at Cole’s eyes. Nope, he was busy counting again and hoping the stirring in his pants would go away.

  “Hi,” Cole said.

  “Er, hi,” Micah answered. What was with this guy saying hi every time Micah met up with him? “Where’s Jenna?”

  “On the phone,” Cole said. “Need some help setting up?”

  “No,” Micah said quickly. He didn’t need Cole any closer to him. “I’m sure Jenna needs you for something.”

  Cole shrugged and walked out of the kitchen. Jeesh, his jeans were tight. They looked looser when he didn’t have a shirt on, but maybe that was because Micah was looking at Cole’s delicious abs. Fuck, he should knock himself in the head. Nothing about Cole was delicious. He frowned and ducked behind the kitchen island again. He needed to stop looking at Cole. What he really wanted to do was crawl into the cupboard. Why was this shit happening to him? He couldn’t be attracted to Jenna’s boyfriend. It was wrong on so many levels. He sat on the floor and mindlessly took a swig of whatever liquor he was holding. It burned going down and made him cough.

  “Starting already?” Jenna asked.

  “No,” Micah said. “I mean, just taking the edge off.”

  Jenna joined him on the floor. She peered at him with her brown eyes. He wanted to shout at her to knock it off, because he wasn’t going to tell her what was wrong. She didn’t need to hear how he wanted to… it was best to not even think about Cole.

  “Why are you on edge? Are you nervous about meeting Chris?”

  “No.” Micah frowned and took another drink.

  “He’s a really nice guy. I know you’re going to like him,” she said. There was a glint in her eye that made Micah shiver.

  “You say that every time you make me meet a guy.” Micah was tempted to ask what the guy looked like, but it didn’t matter. Something was going to happen to make this meeting go to hell.

  “Quit pouting, darling. It makes you get crinkles by your pretty blue eyes.” She smiled and swiped his bangs away from his eyes. “God, you are lovely. I would give anything for lips like these.”

  Micah felt his face heat when she swept her finger over his mouth. He hated when Jenna got like this. She always made him feel like a girl when she doted on him. Next she would be bringing out the eyeliner and gobbing lip gloss on his mouth.

  “Jenna,” Micah whined. “Stop staring at me.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I know you hate it, but you must admit, you are quite pretty.”

  Micah groaned. “I prefer manly or rugged or handsome. I’m not a fucking girl.”

  “You two are so weird,” Cole said.

  When Micah looked up at Cole, all he saw was bare chest again. Where the hell did the blue shirt go? Jenna stood up and ran her hands over Cole’s abs. A flash of jealousy shot through Micah, making his stomach swoop and his dick twitch. When Cole shoved his tongue into Jenna’s mouth, Micah gulped another shot of booze, jumped to his feet, and headed for his bedroom. He slammed the door and flopped on his bed. He was not pouting. He was only tired and those two shots of alcohol made his head spin. A short nap might be a good idea. Micah pulled his blanket over his head when he heard loud laughter coming from the living room. He should be thankful it wasn’t sex noises. He didn’t think he could deal with that shit right now.

  His dreams were disturbing and only exaggerated his problem. He woke up with a raging hard-on that ached so much he knew he couldn’t ignore the blasted thing. Micah stomped into the bathroom, turned the shower on, and stripped, hissing as his underwear dragged over his hard dick.

  The shower was anything but enjoyable. Having to jack off because of Cole and his fucking perfect abs made him angry, and he came embarrassingly quickly. Not that he wanted to drag things out, but still, it made him feel like a teenage boy when he fisted himself, stroked a couple times, and came all over the tiled wall.

  Micah quickly dried off and got dressed. He rubbed some gel into his hair and ran his fingers through it, then stared at the mirror and frowned. He looked okay and would pass Jenna’s inspection. He wasn’t going to go out
of his way to doll up for some guy he didn’t want to meet in the first place.

  “Micah,” Jenna shouted through the closed door. “Get your cute ass out here. People are asking where the hell you are.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. She opened the door and grinned at him.

  “Chris is here. You want to meet him?”

  “No,” Micah said sternly. Jenna’s eyes narrowed. “I mean, not yet,” Micah added. Jenna threw her arm around his shoulders and kissed him on the cheek.

  “Give me a smile,” she coaxed. “I want to see those cute dimples.”

  “I hate my dimples,” he grumbled.

  She poked him in the cheek, and he growled at her.

  “But the boys love them,” she said.

  Jenna fussed with his hair and straightened his shirt.

  “You need a belt,” Jenna said.

  “Why?” Micah grumbled.

  Jenna raised her eyebrows, and Micah knew it was best to let her have her way. He was already treading in deep water. She found an acceptable belt and shifted it off center when Micah had it buckled. It made him feel like he was trying hard to be a hipster or something. He rolled his eyes but didn’t protest. Jenna finally gave him her seal of approval, grabbed his hand, and dragged him out of the bathroom and into the throngs of people who were already occupying his hallway, living room, and kitchen. Micah surveyed the lay of the land, but he seemed to know everyone in the room. Just as Micah thought he was off the hook, Jenna squealed and bolted toward Cole, leaping into his arms and squeezing the stuffing out of him. He was now wearing a tight grey shirt. Jenna had probably told him to change. Cole gave him a salute. Micah raised an eyebrow and waved back. The guy was totally nuts, but hot, definitely hot.

  Micah wandered into the kitchen to get a drink. He didn’t need to watch Jenna wrapped around Cole and his fucking grey shirt. A nice cold beer might help him relax a tiny bit. His shoulders felt like they were sitting against his ears.

  The kitchen was packed with people, and Micah shuffled over to the makeshift bar to grab a quick drink. He remembered his promise not to drink too much, but dammit, he needed to relax before he met Chris. When he finally squeezed up to the counter, he settled on some sort of mixed drink an unknown woman made for him. She flirted and giggled, touching his arm when she handed him his drink. Micah sighed and told her his name. She gasped and apologized, telling him he had lovely eyes.

  He took his drink to the darkest corner of the kitchen to brood. Several people approached him, but none of them stuck around. Micah made it known he wasn’t in the mood for chitchat. After three drinks, he needed to take a piss. He didn’t really want to move, but he figured Jenna would frown on him using an empty bottle as a toilet. He wove through the crowd, nodding and grunting a greeting to everyone who said anything to him. When he finally made it out of the kitchen, the hall was surprisingly quiet. The bathroom door swung open and some guy stumbled out, leaving it empty. Micah couldn’t believe his luck. Usually, he had to stand in line to use his own bathroom, and it irritated the shit out of him, but tonight he got in immediately. Suddenly the world seemed out of balance, and Micah got nervous. He shoved his unease aside and strode into the bathroom. He struggled with his stupid belt buckle, cursing Jenna for making him wear it.

  He pissed, washed his hands, and stared at his reflection. He should probably go tell Jenna he was ready to meet Chris. He straightened a few strands of hair before opening the door. He ran straight into someone. When he looked up, he frowned.

  “Hi,” Cole said.

  “Hi,” he answered automatically.

  Micah squinted. The shirt Cole was wearing looked blue again. Micah thought about asking why he changed but figured someone spilled a drink on him. It had probably been Jenna. The minute she got a few drinks put away, the girl turned into a total klutz. Micah once joked she needed to use a sippy cup when she was drinking. Jenna had punched him in the arm and left a gigantic bruise. He never mentioned it again.

  “I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Cole said.

  “Er, okay,” Micah said. “Here I am. What does Jenna want me to do?”

  “Jenna?”

  “Um, yeah, Jenna. Does she want me to tend bar or pass out snacks?”

  “I don’t know?” Cole said. “Look, I have to piss. I’ll meet you in the kitchen, and we can talk.”

  Micah eyed him carefully, searching for any clues as to why the hell Cole wanted to talk to him. Oh fuck, maybe he had noticed all the googly eyes Micah had been making at him and he was going to call him on it. Micah nodded and scooted away from Cole. He was fucking doomed.

  Micah got another drink. When he saw Cole come into the kitchen, he ducked behind a tall woman and followed her into the living room, where he hid in the corner by the lamp. He eventually got tired of standing and sat down on the couch when two people got up to get refills. He should have stayed in the corner, because two minutes later, Cole and his fucking grey shirt sat down next to him. What the fuck? Maybe the blue shirt really had been grey, or he might be getting a bit drunk. Trashed might be a better word to describe how he was feeling at the moment, and that would be a very good reason why he didn’t know his colors anymore.

  “You having a good time?” Cole asked.

  “You want the truth or what I tell Jenna?” Micah asked.

  “You’re a strange guy,” Cole said.

  “I’m not the one who keeps changing my shirts,” Micah grumbled.

  “What?” Cole asked, but Micah didn’t get the chance to repeat his statement. Jenna came flouncing into the living room, spotted them, and squealed as she raced across the room. She jumped into Cole’s lap and gave Micah a kiss on the cheek. Micah watched as her hand went straight to Cole’s crotch. Now that was just cruel to taunt Micah like that. He wanted to touch Cole’s cock. Fuck. He decided that was his cue to get another drink.

  “I need another drink,” Micah shouted as the music got louder. Jenna frowned at him and pinched him in the thigh when he stood up.

  “Did you eat anything?” she asked.

  “Quit being a mother hen,” Micah snapped. He turned his back on her and made his way toward the kitchen, but a group of dancing idiots banged him around and he ended up in the hallway, where he ran into a very firm body.

  “How the fuck did you get here?” Micah asked Cole. The shirt was different again, but Micah decided it had to be the multiple drinks he’d consumed. His eyes were out of focus or something.

  Cole looked at him like he was nuts. “Um, I was invited?”

  Micah snorted and started to move away from Cole. People shifted around him, bumping into him so he wasn’t making any headway. Suddenly, Micah felt a warm hand slide up his arm. It made all the hair on the back of his neck and arms stand up. He shook his arm and walked into the wall. Micah took a deep breath and stared at his arm. It must have been someone else who touched him. Cole did not just caress his arm.

  “Micah,” Jenna said, setting her cold hand on his shoulder.

  Micah screamed.

  “Jeesh, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Jenna asked.

  “Uh, sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. I was thinking.”

  “Thinking about what?”

  “Um… something important,” he said, letting his voice trail off.

  “You were thinking about Chris, weren’t you?” Jenna squealed. “How do you like him? Were you surprised? He’s so fucking hot.”

  “I haven’t met him yet,” Micah said, taking a deep breath and leaning against the wall to steady his shaking legs.

  “What? Yes you have. I saw you talking to him a few minutes ago,” Jenna said. She winked at him. Everyone needed to quit fucking winking at him. It made him nervous.

  “No.” Micah shook his head vehemently.

  “Yes.” Jenna folded her arms over her chest.

  Micah narrowed his eyes and stared at her. He didn’t remember talking to anyone besides Cole. There was that one guy who banged into him and sp
lashed his drink on Micah’s pants, but that guy had been grabbing at some girl’s ass and the only words exchanged between the two of them had been a quick “sorry.”

  “Whatever,” Micah mumbled. “I need another drink.”

  “I didn’t think you were drinking tonight.”

  “Apparently, I am,” Micah snapped and stalked away from her. Her stupid boyfriend was driving him crazy, and now she was telling him he’d already met Chris. What the hell was he supposed to do? Stay sober? Not likely.

  When he found his way into the kitchen to refill his drink, fucking Cole was there again. He was still wearing that stupid blue shirt. It should have made him feel good that the shirt didn’t turn grey, but the blue shirt made his dick twitch, and he noticed his pants seemed tighter in the crotch area. His dick liked the stupid blue shirt.

  Cole looked up and winked at him. Micah was suddenly incredibly hot, like sweat-producing hot. It had to be a mistake. Micah’s eyes were playing tricks on him, because Cole was straight and sleeping with Jenna. Cole probably had an eyelash stuck in his eye, or maybe Jenna had snuck up behind him. Micah turned around, but no one was there except some guy with a short buzz cut swaying to the music. Micah panicked, grabbed a bottle of booze, and scurried down the hall.

  “That did not just happen. My God, I’m going nuts. There’s no way. Cole is straight, and even if he’s not, Jenna is my best friend. I’m seeing things and shirts are changing colors.” Micah ran his fingers through his hair, making it stick up in all sorts of crazy directions. “Shit, if he’s hitting on me… I have to tell her.”

  Micah leaned against the wall and let his head fall back, banging it several times until he felt dizzy. He was about to open his bedroom door and spend the rest of the evening hiding under his bed when he felt a soft caress on the back of his neck.

  “Fuck,” Micah hissed.

  “Hi,” Cole said in a strange, sultry voice that sent tingles down his spine.

  Before Micah could say another word, he was shoved up against the wall and wet lips slid against his. Once again, this was not happening. Cole was not kissing him in the hallway of his house. The final drink he had must have been laced with something. Whatever it was, Micah was losing the battle with his conscience, especially when he felt a hand sneak down to the front of his jeans and rub against his aching cock.