Heavy (Heavy Hearts Book 1)

by Sarah Jane Duncan

  “Fuck! You don’t play fair, Lexi West.”

  I can’t help but grin at his use of my full name. The prowess coursing through my veins is like a high I’ve never felt. It’s heady and bold and delivers a rush of control that is both satisfying and leaves me yearning for more. Right now, in this situation with Ayden, I feel safe. I have no vulnerability, just pure desire for this guy in front of me, who I’m pretty sure has stolen my heart.

  With Ayden’s eyes still focused on my hands, I move them around my back and unclasp my bra. He sucks in a breath, holding onto it as I let each strap drop off my shoulders before releasing my hands and letting it slip down my arms to expose my hot needy nipples to the cool night air.

  “Lex,” Ayden whispers, drawing his eyes back to my face.

  “Touch me, please, Ayden.” Yes, I’m back to begging, and I’m not ashamed, especially when I witness the moment that his expression softens, and he caves to my request.

  His eyes dart to my pebbled nipples, and he lifts one hand towards my breast. I feel like I’m going to die of anticipation at his slow perusal, and I almost growl in frustration. All thoughts are lost when his warm fingers finally contact the underside of my left breast. I can’t help but look down to watch his fingers as they graze up the side of my plump needy skin, while his thumb glides up the inside before finding my nipple and circling it. I’m the one to moan this time, and I look back to his face, meeting his heated gaze. He bites his bottom lip.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful, Lex.”

  I don’t say anything because I don’t need to. My care for him is written all over my face. He slowly leans in, nipples between his fingers, and he claims my mouth in the hottest kiss yet. Then, my control snaps. I grind myself on him again in a fevered demand and throw my head back as Ayden’s lips travel to my ear to nip at the lobe.

  “I’m such a goner over you, Lexi.” His breath tickles my ear before he nips at it again and travels searing kisses down my neck, leaving a trail of molten desire as he roams down to my aching breasts.

  I’m panting like a dog on heat, loving the way it feels to have his hands gripping the bare skin of my back like he might die if the connection is lost. Jesus, I think I might die if the connection is lost!

  Ayden’s eyes flick up to catch mine a moment before his mouth claims a nipple. Of their own accord, my hand’s fist in his hair, dragging him closer, pleasure building in me each time his tongue flicks or his teeth graze.

  “Fuck, Ayden.” I can’t control the way my body responds to him. My pelvis thrusts towards his own, seeking more.

  “That’s so fucking hot.” Ayden moves to my other breast showing it the same attention.

  “W-what is.” I can barely speak.

  “When you say fuck, Ayden.” His words make me grin, and I glance back at him and the look of bliss on his face while he devours my nipple.

  “Fuck, Ayden.” I moan again and get the desired reaction from him when he pulls my hips down over his hard length, trapped inside his jeans.

  My desperate need for more forges my hips down in grinding thrusts meeting his own frenzied need. Ayden skims his hand down my front, moving towards the ache that is begging for his touch. The moment his hot hand slides over the mound between my legs, I cry out, nearly climaxing from that single caress. I’m panting with uninhibited need as he rubs over my jean-clad core, quickly driving me over the edge, my cries of ecstasy floating into the city’s night sky.

  I can’t stop kissing him. My tongue tangles with his, my lips meet his passionate kisses, and I know this moment between us has only just begun. No longer able to control myself, I reach for the hard bulge in his pants, causing him to thrust under my touch. He’s big, like really big, and hard. It excites me, but it also has me hesitating for a brief moment. Ayden doesn’t notice, thank fuck, but it has me pausing because how on earth is that going to fit? Even as I think it, warmth pools between my legs, my body reminding me how much I want everything Ayden has to give. This is natural and normal. My body is made for this, right?

  Ayden’s gravelly moan pulls me out of my thoughts, and the sound reminds my body once again how much it is craving every inch of him. The need to feel the heat of his bare skin against mine urges me forward, and I reach for his hoodie, dragging it up. Ayden breaks our kiss to help me lift it over his head, and when it joins my hoodie in a pile somewhere behind us, I lay my hands on his strong chest, running them over his pecs and stopping to roll his nipple between my fingers.

  “Lex, you’re so fucking hot right now.”

  I drag my eyes from his chest to his face to see where his attention is. It’s on my lips. He grins and licks his own.

  “The way you’re biting your lip while you look at me makes me feel so….”

  “So?” I ask.

  “So wanted.” He finishes and then claims my lips again.

  My hands roam his chest while his hands slide down my back to grip my butt, pulling me down on his arousal again.

  “Pants off.” I gasp between our parted lips.

  Placing one last searing kiss on my neck, Ayden lifts me off him and stands before me. Dear God, this guy, and his hotness should be illegal. I watch as he flicks the button on his jeans and then slowly pulls his fly down. I stop breathing. I should care about that, right? You know, because in order to live, I must breathe. I could care less, though! All that matters is Ayden.

  “Are you sure about this, Lexi? We can stop, you know. We don’t have to do this.”

  “Look at me, Ayden. Do I look like I want to stop?”

  He chuckles and shakes his head, “Nope. You are totally eye-fucking me right now.”

  “Damn straight, I am!”

  He chuckles again and then hooks his fingers in his jeans and drags them down, kicking them off, leaving him in nothing but his black boxer briefs.

  Holy hell, I want to eat that! I moan, and he stalks forward with determination that makes my heart beat erratically. Leaning over me on the loveseat, Ayden places his hands on either side of my body, urging me to fall back. The sight of him hovering over me in his almost naked glory sends a hot flush through my aching core.

  “You're beautiful.” His small sexy as sin grin caves in his dimples, and I have to fight the urge to lick them because that would be weird, right?

  “My turn?” I can barely speak with my heart racing so fast.

  He doesn’t answer, but shows me by trailing kisses over my shoulder, down the side of my breast, and over my navel until he reaches the top of my jeans. Flicking his eyes up to mine, we keep our gazes locked as his hand slides up my thigh to just barely pass by the ache between my legs. Placing another kiss on my tummy, his hands make fast work of sliding my jeans off and freeing me from the annoying barrier.

  Leaving my knickers on, Ayden stands back and takes me in. I expect the self-conscious arsehole that sits inside my head to come out, but it doesn’t, and Ayden’s heated gaze makes me feel beautiful, bruises and all.

  Bending, Ayden lifts my leg and trails kisses over the inside, from my ankle up to my knee. I never imagined that having my ankle kissed would be worth thinking about, but damn, not only does it add to the heat building inside me, but it makes me feel adored. Ayden then treats my other leg to the same gentle worshipping, and I’m powerless to stop my eyes from fluttering closed, needing to just feel every small touch of his lips on my skin.

  I don’t expect what happens next, but oh wow, I’m not going to complain. My eyes fly open, and my mouth forms a silent O when his hot kisses travel up the inside of my thigh and find my heat through the thin barrier of my black lace knickers. My hands instantly dart into Ayden’s hair, holding him in place while his lips continue their kissing assault over the fabric.

  I can no longer hear the bustle of the city. Blood rushing through my veins soars loud in my ears. My skin is on fire, and my hips gyrate against Ayden’s mouth as I desperately seek more. As if sensing my thirst, Ayden hooks his fingers in my knickers and pulls them asid
e.

  A whimper escapes me the instant his soft lips meet the bare flesh of my folds, and I’m gone, lost to him. His lips kiss me, his tongue laps me, and then his fingers join, two slowly easing inside. I cry out as an intense orgasm hits, but he doesn’t stop, and a third finger joins the other two, causing a biting sting as they stretch me. I think I say his name. I can’t be sure. Ayden has managed to render me useless while I ride out another intense climax.

  Kissing a trail up my body, he stops to take each nipple in his mouth before returning to my lips. I kiss him back through panting breaths, and when I taste myself on his lips, I moan with more arousal.

  I’m never going to get enough of this guy.

  I slap my hands against Ayden’s chest and push him up off me. Confusion contorts his flushed face as he sits back on his haunches. I grin and turn my focus to the firm bulge hidden by his boxers. Reaching out, I glide my hand down his stomach to the waistband of his boxers and tug them towards me a little. Ayden relaxes under my touch, now realising that I wasn’t pushing him away. His eyes follow my hand as I drag his boxers down and free his hard length.

  I freeze for a moment, taking in the sight of him and knowing more than ever that what Ayden and I have is right. It’s perfect.

  Ayden shifts off the loveseat and pulls his boxers right off. I follow suit, kicking my knickers off while I watch him. The need to touch him is an addiction I can no longer deny. Shifting forward to the edge of the loveseat, I run my fingers over the firm velvet of his erection, and Ayden sucks in a sharp intake of air. Wanting to be the one who makes him lose control, I wrap my hand around his girth and slowly pump.

  Ayden bucks under my touch, his fists flexed tight by his sides. Is he trying to hold himself back from touching me, from letting go? No way am I letting him do that!

  Nerves flutter through me, but determination drives me, so I flick my tongue out and lick over his slit, tasting the salty drop beaded on the tip.

  “Fuck, Lexi!”

  Oh, I like the sound of him saying those words too, so much so that I take him deep into my mouth. Instantly his hand's fist in my hair, and I know I’ve got him. I’ve broken his restraint.

  Using my hand, lips, tongue, and throat, I work him until his legs tremble, and I think he’s going to cum in my mouth.

  He doesn’t, though, because, in the next instant, I find my mouth empty, and my back meets the loveseat as he pushes me down and rises over me.

  “You little minx.” He nips at my lips, and I wrap my legs around his hips, pulling him to my heat.

  We both groan as our arousals meet for the first time. Our kisses grow desperate, and Ayden’s hand travels down my side to find my breast, kneading it before rolling my nipple between his fingers. I am almost fevered, ready to combust.

  “More, please!” I beg into Ayden’s mouth.

  “Are you sure?” Ayden’s voice is raspy and fucking sexy as he speaks against my lips.

  I nod. “Yes, Ayden. I want this with you. Now.”

  Ayden breaks our kiss, moving away from me, and I feel my heart start to crack. Is he refusing? Doesn’t he want this too?

  Propping up on my elbows, I watch Ayden tossing our clothes around before he stands to his full height with relief washed over his face. The look he gives me then says he definitely wants this too, and then I see why he had moved away from me.

  The foil packet in his hands is quickly torn open, and Ayden pulls out a condom, pressing it to the tip of his hardness, and then rolls it down his length.

  “Shit Ayden, that’s hot too. Everything you do is hot.”

  Giving me a devilish grin, Ayden returns to me, taking my mouth for another kiss. Our lips don’t lose contact as he raises his hips, lining himself up to my entrance, and then he eases himself in. The need to be filled is consuming. I rise up to take more of him, hungry for his offering, only to tense the moment when he breaks through my barrier. There’s an intense pinch that stings and burns, and Ayden looks down at me with concern when I go rigid under him.

  “Don’t stop,” I whisper, hoping my eyes express that I’m okay.

  “You mean everything to me, Lex.” Taking my lips in his again, he shows me with his kiss just what his words mean.

  One of his hands finds my nipple rolling it and successfully sending waves of pleasure to my centre, while his other hand links our fingers together by my head. There are so many sensations burning through my body and my mind that there is no longer any pain as Ayden slowly slides himself all the way in. Pleasure builds inside me as he pumps his hips, and it’s not long before mine match his pace. As if our bodies are made for each other, our thrusts, moans, and climax all intertwine, sending us over the edge together.

  We have no cares in the world in this moment on the rooftop of the apartment building. Our only need is each other and the pleasure we share in our little bubble of heaven. I have never felt this way before, so consumed by the need to ride this addicting high with another person.

  No sick thoughts of my past invade the experience. No barriers hold me back. We spend hours on the roof exploring each other’s bodies in the chilly night air that we somehow can’t seem to feel.

  This moment changes everything for me. Our relationship, which had been a flirting friendship not so long ago, is now so much more than I’ve ever had in my life. It also changes me as a person because up until now, I haven’t ever fully trusted anyone like this. I have never let down my walls enough for someone to see the battered and bruised version of myself. Not even Abbey, who has been my best friend ever since I can remember, had seen the real me when it counted.

  I trust Ayden, though. With every part of my being, I know that is true. My life may have turned into a fucked up hell of late, but I’m almost thankful that it did because if it didn’t happen, then I may never have had the opportunity to get so close to Ayden. To the boy who has my heart.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Over the next couple of days, we stay in our little bubble of happiness. I’ve ignored my phone, well I should say Ayden’s hand-me-down phone, because I just can’t bring myself to face reality. I almost wish I could block Abbey from contacting me. She’s had too many questions and is texting me too much “Tea” about the rumours already spreading about me. It’s like my pain has become gossip and everyone's new entertainment.

  Ayden ended up calling Abbey and asking her to give it a rest and to pass the same message onto the other girls who have been just as inconsiderate. I hadn’t asked him too, and I feel bad for making Abbey feel like crap, but I just couldn’t handle it. I thought she understood how serious this is.

  Now, as we drive through the city in Peter’s car to visit my mum, I look at the last text Abbey sent me.

  I’m so sorry, Lex. I didn’t think.

  My heart hurts knowing she has probably been beating herself up over it but probably hates me by now since I haven’t replied yet.

  Another reason why I regret getting the phone is because of the email I’m staring at right now. Sitting in my inbox is an email from my dad.

  Alexis,

  I am appalled that you would let the police believe that your own brother could inflict such a heinous act on his own sister, and dragging me into it, is not only disrespectful but utterly wrong.

  Mike is distraught that you would do this to him. He is laying low and will reach out to you when the time is right. Make sure you apologise to him. You’d better hope like hell that he will be forgiving.

  As for me, right now, I am ashamed to call myself your father. You have disgraced our family name with these lies and your self-destructive behaviour. Do you even understand how serious this is, and what you have done to my reputation and my career?

  Your mother may have been removed from the care she needed, but don’t fool yourself into thinking that I can’t get to her. If you do not tell the police that you are lying and the whole situation has been fabricated, then I hope you know that whatever happens to your mother will be your fault. If
things turn bad for her, then know it’s because you failed to clear my name!

  Alexis, it would be smart to not keep me waiting for long.

  Maxwell West.

  “Here we are,” Peter announces as we pull into the parking garage of the new facility where my mum had been relocated. My heart races from reading the email from my dad. It’s like he believes his own lies. I’m not going to respond. He doesn’t deserve my time!

  Dragging my attention away from my phone, I reluctantly take in my surroundings, causing nausea to churn as my anxiety picks up. Not only do I hate hospitals, but I have no clue as to what version of my mum I’m going to visit today. Both issues tempt me to refuse to get out of the car, but knowing Ayden’s parents have gone out of their way to bring me here, and the need to make sure my mum is okay after what I read in the email, I swallow down my worries and force myself to move.

  Climbing out of the car, Ayden rushes around to meet me, taking my hand in his trying to be all gentlemanly. It’s cute, and I try to hide my grin, but he notices and gives me his signature wink, and I’m thankful for the brief distraction. He has the power to make me feel at ease, and I just know he’s a drug I’ll never be able to give up.

  Peter and Andrea take the lead walking hand in hand, whispering ahead of us while Ayden and I follow, dragging our feet. Well, I’m dragging my feet. Ayden is just walking at my slow pace, trying to show his support. He pulls me into his side, wrapping his arm around me as we walk, and kisses the top of my head. I lean in, circling my arms around his waist, breathing in his spicy scent, trying to reach the calm I usually get from smelling him.