by Devin Sawyer
We are a few minutes late to the start of the graduation and we enter just as the key speaker steps to the podium. Lawson navigates us to where his parents are seated and the two open spots next to them. The gentleman to the other side of me leans over and shakes Lawson’s hand as well in a familiar way and I wonder if he’s their uncle.
The ceremony is dreadfully long even with a relatively small graduating class and I remind myself not to put myself through this torture when I finish my own degree next year. I’ll do a few pictures with a cap and gown for Mom and Dad’s sake, but the stage walking is overrated and plus they saw me do it in high school. I notice that Lawson’s tension seems to be back some and I can only assume the discussion he had with his parents last night did not settle what has him so irritable. He puts on a smile for the people, but I can see how different it is than the one I usually get from him.
Afterward, we meet up with Reece who says he’s going out with some of his graduating class for lunch and drinks that he thinks will probably lead to dinner and more drinks. The man who sat next to me at the ceremony is now introduced further as Reece’s godfather, Jack, and also one of William’s colleagues back when he was in the senate. We all wish Reece a final congratulations and begin to disperse ourselves. Lawson and I split from the scene without saying goodbye to his parents and part of me feels bad that I didn’t have the opportunity to be more cordial because of Lawson’s frustration with them. He’s entitled to be upset with them but in the process, it’s made me look ungrateful and I won’t have another opportunity to see them before he takes me to the airport.
Lawson drives us around aimlessly. At times he talks, at times I do, and sometimes I just turn the station to play The Fray songs when he isn’t paying attention. Even if he’s not being his playful self, I’m still appreciating our time together and the way he always reveals something new to me when we talk. When we run out of time, he takes me to the airport and walks me to security. I hate that I have to leave him for the next few weeks. My anxiety ramps up and I suddenly hate the idea of going home because Lawson feels like home.
“Will you come visit me before we head back? I can show you around my favorite places in Georgia.”
Lawson gives me one of his award-winning smiles and leans in to drop a light kiss on my forehead. “I would really like that, because I’m not going to be able to go the whole break without seeing you.”
That earns a smile from me and I lean in to kiss him passionately, not giving a damn who in this airport might be staring. Our kiss lasts like it will be closer to months that I won’t see Lawson rather than weeks. It’s likely TSA might start to suspect he’s smuggling drugs down my throat and I’m his mule if we don’t get some space between us. Last thing I need is a cavity check.
Finally, I board my plane with the promise that we will see each other soon.
CHAPTER 19 – PRESENT
I’m nervous for Reece on the day of his big pitch. He’s been screwing my brains out all week, trying to alleviate his built-up tension. I text Lorenzo and tell him good luck too. I have full faith in these two, they are some of the most innovative chefs and future business owners I’ve ever met, but the day still weighs heavy. Reece thought that both the investor and Lorenzo were agreeable to a Portland location but that could change, depending on the dynamics. I’d follow him back across the country if need be. As long as it wasn’t South Carolina again, I think Reece and I could be okay starting over anywhere. I’d have to leave the hospital, but with the exception of April, I’m not totally attached to my job here. So for the life of me, I don’t know why I’m so anxious over having to possibly move. I moved my whole life without a problem, but Portland, for some reason, finally feels like home.
I spend my lunch break waiting to hear from Reece, but my phone never rings, so I assume he hasn’t finished up yet. I look up a couple of trainings on nursing leadership, knowing I need to beef up my resume. There are three conferences this year that pique my interest but only two offer courses on management of non-profit clinics which I think I will find the most helpful if I plan to manage the clinic for indigent patients. Luckily, one is in Florida, and the other, in Missouri. Easy choice, I can drive up after the conference in Florida and spend the weekend with Mom and Dad before returning. I go ahead and book the conference and write a note out on my hand so I don’t forget to tell Reece about it when I get home. It’s a little over a month away but I’ll need to book my flights and hotel later on. I power my phone off and head back into the ER to finish my shift.
At the end of the day, I head home and Reece is already inside right as I open the door. He’s dressed in some dress slacks, a button-down, and a vest. He looks… dapper, and sexy as hell. A smile covers his entire face.
“I assume that smile means things went well today?!” I ask.
“Things went more than well today. I fly out next week to sign the contract, and once that’s done, they will secure some apartments out here and will fly out here in the following weeks to start everything! It’s really happening! I want to celebrate. I want to take you to dinner.”
“That’s amazing! Let me shower off and I’ll get dressed.”
I kiss him and he spins me around before placing me back on my feet. We’re staying right here, at least for the foreseeable future. I feel relief wash over me as I shower off the day’s sweat and bacteria I’m exposed to at the hospital. I find some comfort in staying, for the first time ever. I wasn’t running toward or away from something. I dress as quickly as I can and pull my hair up into a tight, sleek bun, not wanting to spend too much time blow drying it.
Reece calls us an Uber, not wanting to worry about drinking and driving. I recognize the name of the restaurant he gives our driver, but we’ve never been there before. The restaurant has a beautiful Mediterranean style, decorated in whites and blues with gorgeous brick and tile accents. As we are seated, he orders us a bottle of wine. While I may feel like a man ordering for a woman is a bit outdated, this really is Reece’s specialty and for that reason, he’s the only person I trust to do that for me.
“I can’t believe this is all happening. I knew you and Lorenzo could do it, but I just never imagined it could happen this early in your career.”
“You’re really going to like Paul, our business partner. He’s originally from Alabama but has been starting restaurants up and down the eastern coast for the last twelve years. I’ve actually been to some of his restaurants in New York and I think our vision is going to be similar. He’s fronting us more money than I can ever imagine, and in exchange, he gets fifty percent of the business. Lorenzo and I will split the other half and the three of us will make business decisions as a whole.”
“And you trust him? Lorenzo trusts him?”
“Yeah, we do. I think we have to. He has a bunch of successful businesses and we got to speak to two other of his partners at other restaurants to see if they were happy and I think Lorenzo and I may have to make sacrifices at times, but we all have the same end goal in mind.”
“Well, then I’m obviously ecstatic for you two. I can’t wait to meet Paul and we will definitely have to go out to dinner with them once they arrive.”
“To our future,” Reece toasts me, lifting his wine glass.
“To your business,” I reply and we both clink our glasses lightly and take a sip.
“Speaking of business endeavors, I signed up for a conference today that’s in Florida next month. It’s only three days, but I was thinking I would then drive up to Georgia and see Mom and Dad before flying home. It’s a highly accredited training and certificate program in nursing management.”
“That sounds great. I’m glad you’re finally doing it. I wish I could come with you, but things will probably be full swing here by then.”
“No, yeah. I understand. It sounds like we both will be working on our careers the next year. I think it will be good for us. Maybe by this time next year, we can look at moving out of our apartment.”
Re
ece and I had a nice apartment, but we both were ready to be homeowners in this expensive city.
“I want it all with you. You know that, right?”
“I know,” I reply, becoming shy under his unwavering gaze. Reece has this way of being so direct with me in the way he feels that it makes me blush. His emotions are so undeviating and bold. “I want those things too.”
It undoubtedly took me a lot longer to finally commit to my real feelings for Reece. I wanted for so long to play it off as something that wasn’t serious when we first met, a fling, and even for a long while after I came around to seeing it as more, I assumed it would run its course. His dedication to me is intimidating at times.
“I talked to Lawson today,” he says casually with the intent to take some of the pressure off of me, only it does the opposite.
“Oh?” Seems to be the only thing I can muster. I grab my wine glass and take a large swig of the dark drink and busy my mouth with the taste, woodsy oaks and dark cherries.
“He plans to be in Portland next week. Something about a business meeting. I’d like to go out with him before I leave for my trip. You’re welcome to join.”
Of course, he hadn’t bothered to visit Reece any other time in the past few years, only seeing him when Reece traveled to South Carolina, but now he has plans to come out here? I know myself and Lawson well enough to know it is in neither of our best interests to see each other after the most recent events.
I clear my throat, not wanting my voice to shake when I finally speak, “No, I think it’s good that you spend some time with him alone. You didn’t get to do much outside of his campaigning while we were there.”
“It’s weird still, huh?”
I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t think it will ever not be weird, but it is what it is. And I guess you’re worth it,” I tell him jokingly, scrunching up my nose.
“As soon as I get you back home, I’m going to show you just how worth it I am,” he says suggestively.
“You are insatiable lately. I feel like this is three years ago when you were constantly trying to get me in bed with you.”
“Well, it’s a little easier to coerce you now that you know how good I am with my tongue.”
That’s the time the waiter arrives to deliver our plates, he graciously pretends not to have just heard the last bit of our conversation and I polish off the last of my wine, full blush apparent, and take the bottle to pour myself another glass.
~
The day Lawson is scheduled to arrive, Reece has made plans to pick him up from the airport. He’s staying at a hotel a few blocks from us. Reece was going to take him out to dinner and so I fully plan to binge-watch the latest Grey’s Anatomy episodes since I have the apartment to myself for a few hours. I’m fidgety knowing the last I heard from Lawson he was being an ass, drunk I hope, and now he’s in my city. A place he never bothered to follow me to, but now he’s here, and it feels suffocating just knowing it. I’m still convinced in my theory that he was highly intoxicated by the time he sent those messages last week.
I’m three episodes into season thirteen when I hear the keys jingle at the door, and I anticipate Reece to be a bit drunk himself from a few beers over dinner with his brother. I hope it went well. I hope they hung out the way they used to before there was a woman separating their lives. I’m that woman and I haven’t been guilt-free since the day I reconnected with Reece. The weight of our relationship bears down on me all the time.
When I finally see Reece pass through the threshold, I immediately realize he’s not alone. Lawson trails in behind him. Both are yammering on about something sports-related. Stats are getting tossed around all willy-nilly and they are having some kind of disagreement. Both appear to be at least tipsy, if not drunk.
“Hey babe,” Reece says light-heartedly like he didn’t just walk into our apartment without telling me he was bringing his brother who also happens to be my ex. He leans down to kiss me, a small peck, on the lips. I let him, because despite my irritation with him at the moment I won’t be commenting on anything until after Lawson leaves. “I’m just grabbing the spare keys to the car. I told Lawson he could use it while he’s here since I leave town tomorrow anyway. I’ll just go get them from my nightstand and then go drop him off.”
I nod my head, returning to my TV show and kind of wanting to hide my pajama, messy bun, and popcorn-eating ensemble. Reece scurries off to our bedroom. He has a young boyish charm when he’s been drinking. I typically adore it, finding him charismatic and smooth.
“How are you doing now that McDreamy left the show?” His voice is careful but deep, filling our living room. I turn to look at him, glaring suspiciously.
“How did you know he left?”
“Saw it in a news article or something.” He shrugs it off casually.
“Uh-huh, I bet.” I shoot sarcasm back at him. He totally watches it still.
Reece returns to the room and both our eyes follow him. “Alright, I’m going to run him over to the hotel, it’s just up the street, then catch an Uber back. Be back in fifteen.”
“See ya,” I say as they close the door behind them.
Reece is smart. Too smart. He knew I wouldn’t pick a fight with him the night before he leaves for a couple days so he’s pushing his luck. We never have uninvited guests at the apartment. We both work a lot and it usually looks like college kids live in here. College kids that aren’t exactly poor, but nonetheless there is laundry laying out, dishes in the sink, and two bowls sitting out on the coffee table. It’s not a disaster zone, but it is an overworked-I’ll-take-that-bowl-to-the-sink-when-I-go-to-bed-unless-I-forget zone.
When Reece does return, closer to a half hour later, he joins me on the couch, snuggling into my neck, dropping kisses along my jaw and behind my ear.
“You’re mad?” he asks tentatively.
I sigh. “No, I’m not mad. I just would like a heads up. I’m not used to my ex walking into my house, even if he is your brother. We talked about this… still weird.”
“Sorry. I told him to meet me at the car, but he wanted to see our place, and I felt like a dick telling my own brother he couldn’t be let inside my apartment.”
“I get it. I’m over it.”
“Good, because I’m about to leave for a few days and if you keep me up all night, I can sleep on the plane tomorrow.”
I cock an eyebrow up at him. “I have to work a shift tomorrow, you’re home late and I will not be keeping you up all night,” I say as I grab for the remote and click the TV off and stand to head to bed.
“You’re going to deny me?” Reece asks incredulously.
I bend down and kiss him. “I wouldn’t dream of it. One round.”
“All I need,” he says back, standing to follow me.
~
Reece has been gone for two days but texted with me each night, telling me a little about the contracts, the discussions about the business. I can tell he’s excited but stressed, probably a little overwhelmed since he hasn’t been a business owner before. I know he doesn’t want to use his parents to get the business off the ground, but I encouraged him to at least reach out to his dad who might have some more guidance than I currently do for him. The hospital has been a mad-house, and I’ve stayed extra hours to help fill in some of the shortages we have in staff right now. I just know we are nearing a full moon because the crazies are coming out of the woodwork.
Three more nights and Reece will be home. It’s rare that we spend time apart. In the past when he went to see his family, I would go to see mine, and the separation seemed less noticeable. Unfortunately, it’s meant that Reece hasn’t spent much time with my parents in the last few years, but they know the circumstances and get why he’s only joined me a handful of times.
It’s after seven when I get back to our apartment building and I mentally scratch off a workout or cooking from my to-do list tonight. Reece usually leaves me a few meals he makes ahead of time if he won’t be home for dinner, but with such s
hort notice and Lawson’s arrival it was forgotten, and I start to tick off the list of restaurants that will deliver. Stepping off the elevator, and my door in sight a more unwelcome spectacle comes into view. Lawson Calhoun is seated on the floor next to our door, typing away on his phone. He must sense my presence because he looks up and moves to stand.
“I texted Reece and you. The water is out on my entire floor at the hotel. I was hoping I could shower over here. Also, I brought you dinner as a consolation of sorts.” He lifts his one hand holding up a bag of Chinese food. He’s in his business suit with his coat hanging from one hand, and his tie hanging loosely from his neck and his luggage on the floor next to him. I’m not sure when senatorial candidates started to look like this but when I was younger, they were just a bunch of balding old men. Of course, I didn’t receive his text because I had just blocked him. Reece didn’t call me, though I assume he’s still busy as I haven’t heard anything from him all day.
About that time, my phone buzzes in my hand.
Hey. Lawson’s hotel doesn’t have water. Would it be a huge inconvenience for him to come shower at our place? I’m at dinner with Paul and Lorenzo. Will call you when I’m done here.
He adds the little praying hands at the end of the message as if he’s begging but I actually read somewhere that is supposed to represent a high five and I just laugh at his message.
“Come in,” I say, returning to my begrudging and unwelcome exterior, unlocking our door. I set my keys down on the kitchen table. “Shower is down the hall to the left.”
“Look, Farah. About the texts the other day… I was…”
“Drunk? Stoned even? Being impersonated by an evil twin? Because those are about the only answers I want to hear come out of your mouth.”