by Kit Tunstall
I was startled by the shortened form of my name and looked at Jamar, who’d been the first to use it. I wondered if he’d been telling them about our encounter yesterday at the shooting range, but quickly discarded the notion. I didn’t know him well yet, but I was certain he was an honorable man, and he wouldn’t go around sharing details of his sexual exploits with the others when I was part of their group. It must have just been a nickname Han arrived at on his own. It wasn’t exactly shocking, but it was still surprising to hear Lyss, since no one had shortened my name for years, until now.
It was a small detail, and one certainly not worth getting worked up over, so I shrugged it off. I didn’t mind the nickname. It just reminded me of happier days, along with a wave of melancholy as I remembered the last time I’d seen my best friend. That was why I’d stopped using Lyss. Hearing it had reminded me too much of parting from Holly, who had been my BFF. Until the outbreak, we’d been Facebook friends, but we hadn’t seen each other since she’d moved across the ocean. I guessed I’d never see her now. Even if she was still alive, no one was crossing the oceans in the near future.
“If you’re hungry, there’s some food in the fridge,” said Wesley without looking up from his comic book.
“Thanks.” I left the seating area to enter the kitchen, which was large and filled with industrial appliances. There was a commercial-sized refrigerator that was empty and smelled musty, but an apartment-sized one was tucked beside it. I opened it, grimacing slightly at what I assumed was my plate of food. I think it was supposed to be migas, but with powdered eggs and some kind of watered-down salsa, it didn’t look that appealing. There were no to tortilla strips either. Still, it was certainly better than nothing.
I turned to the microwave, inserting the plate before I realized there was no display showing on the appliance. I pressed the button, but nothing happened. They must have removed all nonessential appliances from the power system as a way to conserve energy, since they were fueling this place solely on the power of the sun, along with whatever reserves of fuel that had been in storage, or what they managed to scrounge up to power the generator. It was a backup generator, so it wouldn’t have been designed to carry the full load of everything on the base. That explained the dinky fridge next to the empty chef’s dream.
With a sigh, I pulled out the plate and carried it back to the table cold. Choking it down in its current semi-slimy state was a good motivator to wake up with the rest of them and have breakfast when it was hot next time. After I’d forced down the last bite, I looked up when Shane spoke my name. “Yeah?” I asked as I finished the last swallow of strong coffee. What I wouldn’t give for some cream and sugar, but I hadn’t even thought to ask if they had anything like that when I’d poured myself a cup from the pot in the corner.
“Can you come with me for a minute?”
It was probably perfectly innocent, but just the thought that he was asking me to slip away so we could have some private time together made my nipples harden against the soft fabric of my tank top. I’d worn a bra for running and exercising, but hadn’t thought to grab a spare for my shower, so here I was with no bra and certain my reaction was visible to anyone who looked. Perhaps that hadn’t been so much forgetfulness as deliberate oversight.
I got to my feet and followed him, making a mental note to return and clean my dishes once we were through. My mom had always been the cleaner in the family, and it had been a rude awakening to have to take care of myself after she’d passed. Becky had been as hopeless as me, but we’d muddled through and kept the house as clean as we’d could when she was still alive. I’d had to keep the subbasement tidy when I moved down there, because there was no room to be disorganized, and I guess the habits had finally taken hold and become part of my routine. Leaving a mess bothered me now, when I wouldn’t have thought twice about it before Hell Virus.
Shane led me into one of the rooms that had clearly been an office. All the blinds were closed, and the room was dim when he shut the door behind us, at least until I clicked on an LED lantern. The small light provided a surprising amount of illumination, allowing me to fill in the details of the room. Simple and basic, with a desk, chair, and filing cabinet, it took less than three seconds to examine the entire room. I focused my attention on the man standing near me. “What did you need?” My voice sounded husky, and there was definitely a flirtatious edge to my words.
He grinned at me, but moved away instead of stepping closer. “I have something for you.”
With excitement, I followed him to the desk. He sat down so he could reach the bottom drawer easily, sliding it open to reveal a metal box. He handed me the key, and I slid it into the lock, recognizing the safe as one of those fireproof kind in which people kept valuables.
The lid popped open, and I gasped at the golden gun laying inside. I’d never seen a gold-plated gun before, and I lifted it carefully. It was heavier than the Desert Eagle Jamar had shown me how to use yesterday, but it loaded similarly. I ejected the clip, somehow unsurprised to find it full. I turned the gun over carefully in my hand after I slammed the ammo back in, admiring the intricate gold filigree someone had used create a pattern of vines, flowers, and an occasional butterfly darting around the tableau. “This is gorgeous. Thank you.”
He grinned. “I picked it up in a pawnshop a few weeks ago. I’m not entirely sure why I took it, since there were better guns available. Maybe I was saving it for a grand romantic gesture.” He leaned back in his chair, propping his boots on the desk as though he hadn’t a care in the world.
“That it is. With things the way they are, I’d prefer a gold gun to a gold ring any day.” I ran my fingers over it, enjoying the smooth barrel and the engraved lines of filigree. Stroking the gun was a sensual experience, and my panties were suddenly wet. “I need Jamar to teach me how to use it though.”
He shook his head. “I can teach you anything you need to know.”
I licked my lips, since it was time for the conversation I’d promised myself we’d have yesterday, before they had returned with Maddox’s body. With a deep breath for courage, I laid the gun carefully in the safe and locked it again before moving closer to him. “I need to tell you something.”
Before I could say more, he reached for me, dragging me down onto his lap, his lips nuzzling my neck. I moaned as sensations washed over me, but struggled for a moment of clarity. “It’s important.”
“So is this.” He ghosted his lips over my collarbone before trailing his tongue down, pausing where my tank top blocked him from easy access.
“I slept with Jamar.” I blurted out the words, certain if I didn’t say them now, I wouldn’t be able to. I’d be too lost in passion, and then I might be tempted not to say anything at all, which didn’t sit well with me. I had no intention of sneaking around behind their backs. Things were different now, and as long as they were agreeable, there was no reason why we had to hide our relationships from each other.
He froze, his expression betraying confusion. “But you slept with me two days ago.”
I nodded, biting my lip. “It just happened. It felt good, and I’m attracted to Jamar.”
His expression cooled. “I take it you’re more attracted to him than me, and this is your breakup speech?” His hands on my hips turned hard as he prepared to lift me off him.
I clung to him instead. “I’m not breaking up with you. To be honest, I wasn’t even entirely sure we were together. Things are so different now.”
His lips compressed into a thin line. “I’m not sure it’s that different, at least not as different as you seem to think. I thought our sex in the shower meant something more than getting off.”
I was fucking this up badly, and I took a deep breath as I struggled to compose myself, trying to find the words to explain how I was feeling. I put my hands on his face, surprised when he only stiffened, but didn’t try to pull away. “Everything is different now. The rules we used to live by don’t really apply anymore. If I want to have a r
elationship with five…four men,” I quickly amended as a pang shot through me at the reminder of Maddox’s loss, “There’s no one to judge or care. As long as we’re all fine with it, that’s all that matters.”
His perfect dark brows were creeping up toward his hairline. “Are you saying you fucked the other guys too?”
I shook my head. “No, not yet. I’d like to though. I’d like to make all of you happy, and it will make me happy too.”
He looked unsettled. “You want us to share you like you’re a passed-around sex toy? That’s unnecessary. We’ve treated you with respect, and you don’t have to feel obligated to screw any of us. If Jamar’s who you want, stay with him, but you don’t have to trade your body for security.”
I let out a heavy sigh. “You make it sound so demeaning that way. It’s not like that. It’s been so long since I had anyone in my life, any kind of connection at all, and I feel it with you. I felt it with Jamar, and I’m certain I’d feel it with Han and maybe Wesley too. You guys are special, and you’re special to me already. I’m not trying to be some post-apocalyptic slut, and I don’t plan to jump into just anyone’s sleeping bag. We have a good group here, and I’m starting to feel possessive of all of you. Does that make sense? I know it’s a lot to ask of you to share me, but it would make me happy, and I think could actually make us all happy, if we’re flexible and open-minded enough.”
He seemed to mull it over, and myriad emotions crossed his face. I could identify most of them as they made the circuit—anger, confusion, jealousy, and finally weary acceptance.
“If that’s what you want, I’ll try to play nice and share my toy.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m not your toy or your possession, and you know it. I’m making a choice here, and I’m trying to include you in the process and clarify what I want. I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
It was Shane’s turn to sigh heavily. “I have a feeling you might be living in a bit of a fantasy land still, Lyss. When you have four men sharing one woman, someone’s bound to get hurt.”
I shook my head. “Maybe in the old world, but this is the new world.”
He looked like he wanted to argue, but instead, he shrugged. “How do you envision this working? Are we all going to get a day with you?”
I bit my lip. “I hadn’t really thought that far ahead, to be honest. I figured it would just happen when it happens. I want everyone to know about everyone else, so that’s why we’re having this discussion.”
A hint of anger returned his gaze. “You could have had this discussion with me before you fucked Jamar.”
I nodded. “I could have and should have, but it just happened. I don’t regret sleeping with him, and I certainly don’t regret sleeping with you. I just want us to be open, and I’m sorry if I hurt you or made you angry with my actions.”
He blinked. “You’re surprisingly mature and well-adjusted for a nearly nineteen-year-old woman who’s been through the shit you’ve been through this last year.”
I grinned at him. “You can thank my parents for that. They were a bit unconventional, but they were good people, and I’d like to think they raised me well.”
Shane shifted slightly, rubbing the length of his erection against my rapidly dampening pussy. “Speaking of raising…”
I made a sound of pleasure as I slipped my hand into his khakis to glide my palm over the length of him. “Definitely rising, and hard.”
“I want to you fuck you right here on this desk, but there’s something else I need to do first.”
I braced myself to pull away, expecting him to say something related to running the base or keeping the group functioning, and resigning myself to rain check for later.
Instead, he started tugging at my sweatpants, pulling them down to mid-thigh, along with my panties. “I need you on my face. I believe we had an appointment for that.”
I giggled. “It wasn’t so much an appointment as it was a vague promise.”
“I don’t make vague promises, baby. You’re about to find that out for yourself.”
I leaned back on the desk, making it easier for him to remove my pants and tennis shoes. Sitting on his face actually translated to him bending over me, his head between my thighs as he placed his lips against the center of me. This position would have to do, because there was no practical way to actually climb on top of him and plant myself on his face. I was afraid the rickety office chair would tip over if we tried it.
Not that I was settling for anything in this position, I soon discovered. His mouth was magical, finding all the places that revved my engine, until I was gasping and bucking my hips against him, pleading to come. Instead of allowing it, the sadistic bastard pulled back and stood up, grinning down at me. I glared up at him in return. “Give me an orgasm.”
Shane chuckled. “You’re a bossy little thing.”
I would have disputed that, but I was too busy watching his hands as he pushed his pants to his ankles, clearly deciding not to fully disrobe. If he was experiencing the same urgent need as me, there was no time to fully undress.
After lifting one of my legs and positioning me closer to the edge of the desk, my butt somehow balanced carefully on the edge, he moved between my legs, his cock entering me in one smooth motion. He wasn’t gentle, but he wasn’t rough either. It was just perfect as he moved at a steady pace, our bodies creating delicious friction that sent me into the orgasm I’d been waiting for. The convulsions of my sheath must have triggered his own release, and he came inside me with a low groan a moment later.
After we were finished, he carefully helped me to my feet and righted my clothing. Shane pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead before brushing his lips against mine in a deeper, more possessive kiss.
I looked up at him a little uncertainly, my palm pressed to his chest. “Are we okay then?”
“We’re more than okay, and I’m willing to give the sharing thing a try. I can’t promise I won’t get jealous, and I’m not sure the others will be willing, but if this is what you want, we’ll try to make it work.”
I nodded earnestly. “It’s definitely what I want, but I don’t want to hurt anyone. I just can’t imagine having to choose.”
He shrugged. “You might have to, or you might have to give up on one or more of the others if they tell you to choose. I can’t force anyone to accept this arrangement.”
I clutched a handful of his camo-printed shirt. “I don’t want to force anyone to do anything. This isn’t about force. It’s just about pleasure for all of us.”
He kissed me again, this time on the tip of the nose. “I really hope you aren’t overestimating our ability to be civilized and reasonable men. When I’m around you, my testosterone ramps up, and I could be a caveman.”
I gave him a flirtatious look. “Maybe you can show me that side of yourself later?”
He swatted me on the butt as he moved away. “I’d show you now, but you’re supposed to meet Han for hand-to-hand combat in a few minutes. Go to the gym and help set up some tumbling mats.”
I let out a small sigh. “Haven’t I exercised enough today?”
He just laughed at me and waved me away. “Don’t forget your gun.”
“Definitely not.” I picked up the gun safe, feeling a tug of possessiveness. “Where I go, Miranda goes.”
He arched a brow. “You’ve named your gun, and it’s Miranda?”
I nodded. “Absolutely.”
He looked skeptical. “Why Miranda?”
I shrugged, unable to verbalize the full truth of the matter. I’d always liked the name, and from the time I was a little girl, I’d been determined I would name my child Miranda. I’d even joked as I got older that I didn’t care if it was a boy. He would be Miranda too. Now, in this sick new world, I wasn’t sure if or when I’d ever have a child of my own. Miranda was probably going to become an integral part of my life, so she might as well have the moniker that I had previously reserved for my unborn offspring. “Why not?” I said instead.
“Why not indeed? Have fun at your training session.” There was the faintest tint of jealousy in his tone, but he seemed to be doing his best to control it.
For the first time, I had some doubts creep in. Was my idea of a relationship with all of them the brilliant plan I thought, or was it going to grow seeds of distrust and resentment among them, eventually splintering the group?
They were heavy thoughts that weighed me down as I made my way back to the bunkroom to stow my gun, planning to ask Jamar or Shane to show me how to use it later. I could probably figure it out on my own, but I wanted to get familiar with Miranda as quickly as possible.
I made one more stop before joining Han, pausing at the infirmary to sort through the drugs someone had stacked neatly in a cabinet. I picked up a package of birth-control pills and slipped them into the pocket of my capris, feeling relief wash over me. I wasn’t near ovulation yet, so I hadn’t risked getting pregnant by either Shane or Jamar during the last few days, but it was just reassuring to have birth-control available, to have a greater than ninety-nine percent chance of preventing a baby for which none of us was ready.
Chapter Two
Han was waiting for me in the gym as Shane had stated. He’d laid out several thick mats, giving us at least a twelve by twelve area. My stomach fluttered with nerves as I stepped onto the mat, standing near him. I wasn’t thrilled about the lesson, but I understood the need to learn techniques to defend myself. I was also excited about the idea of his hands all over me, guiding me through what I needed to learn. I rather liked the idea of him manhandling me, as long as it wasn’t in a rough way.
He nodded at me before looking down with a frown. “Shoes and socks off the mat.”
I looked down reflexively, first seeing my tennis shoes and socks before my gaze moved to his feet. They were bare, and I glanced over to the side of the mat, quickly finding where he’d left his boots and socks. I lifted one foot and then the other so I could strip off mine and placed them neatly beside his before bouncing back to the mat. “Let’s do this.”