Sixteen Steps to Fall in Love

by Liz Isaacson

  The following morning, he skipped his running for the day. Instead, he drove down the quiet, early-morning streets of Three Rivers at a crawl. Nothing had changed at Nicole’s, which meant she hadn’t come home last night. They’d made no plans for today, and the clinic wouldn’t be open until Thursday. The sheltered animals still needed care, but Nicole had a schedule to make sure they got fed, watered, and exercised while the clinic was closed.

  He didn’t know the schedule, because he didn’t need to know it, but he found himself pulling into the clinic. There weren’t any other cars there, and he parked in the back like he usually did and entered the old building.

  The familiar scent of cleaning supplies and animals met his nose, calming him for reasons he couldn’t name. He’d slept poorly the previous night, his thoughts bouncing from Nicole to Puppy Pawz to the botched choir program.

  At least his clinic had met the approval of the independent appraiser who’d come to see what the conditions were like. Penelope Whitby hadn’t made a reappearance at any City Council meetings, and Boone hoped the whole affair would simply disappear.

  Boone flipped on the lights and moved through the shelter, talking in a low voice to the animals. His phone went off, and he almost tripped over his own feet in his haste to pull it from his jacket pocket.

  It wasn’t Nicole, and his heart settled back into his heels. It was Brynn Greene, wondering if he could make a house call for one of her horses.

  He responded that he’d be right out, and he retraced his steps and left the building. Sadness descended on him, and it felt like a heavy yoke around his neck. The past six months had been the best he’d had in Three Rivers, at Puppy Pawz. Now, he wondered if he’d ever be able to go back to that building and find anything worthwhile.

  There was no way he could make that sixteen-step walk without his heart breaking. He’d told his father that he was in love with Nicole, and he’d marveled at that declaration since.

  He hadn’t told her yet. With all of her attention on the Christmas program, they hadn’t even talked more about getting married.

  He made it to the ranch, the beginnings of a migraine starting behind his temples. He put on a smile and parked near the stables of Bowman’s Breeds.

  Nicole had come out to the equine therapy sessions with him for several weeks now, and he could barely get his feet to move toward the gate at the thought that they might never make the drive out here again.

  He eradicated the thought. Surely she wouldn’t break up with him because she hadn’t been able to sing in church. That wasn’t his fault, not by any stretch of the imagination. But the thought returned, and Boone had learned not to ignore his brain when it circled something. He texted her again.

  Please let me know you’re okay.

  Simple. Not overbearing. He wasn’t begging.

  Brynn pushed through a door, a loud squeal coming with her and stealing his attention from his phone. “Hey, Brynn. Whaddya got?”

  “Sunshine isn’t doing great.”

  “She’s the pregnant one?”

  “I have about a dozen pregnant horses.” Brynn threw him a look over her shoulder. “But she’s one of ‘em.”

  Boone followed her, not really in the mood to deal with a horse right now. Or another person. Or even himself. But he was a professional, and he did love his work out here at the ranch.

  So he did his best to ignore the fact that his phone didn’t chime or vibrate and put a smile on his face when Brynn turned and gestured toward a stall where a beautiful gray and white horse should’ve been standing.

  But Sunshine wasn’t standing. She lay in the corner of the pen, her eyes a bit wild and her belly way too big. “How far along is she?” he asked, opening the gate and entering the pen.

  Sunshine nickered at him, almost like a warning but not quite.

  “Seven months,” Brynn said. “Cal thinks it’s twins.”

  “She needs to get up,” Boone said, not sure why he thought that. But with two foals inside, she needed to be eating and drinking and staying on her feet. “How long has she been lying in the corner?”

  “Since last night, I think,” Brynn said. “I’m…Ethan came out and checked on the pregnant mares for me last night.”

  Boone glanced at her, everything he’d learned about Brynn in the past couple of years at odds with what she’d just said. She didn’t let anyone do anything with her horses at Bowman’s Breeds. She was the expert. She knew every little detail about every little thing.

  She was very much like Nicole in that regard, and Boone’s heart twisted once again.

  “You didn’t come out?” he asked.

  She shook her head, her mouth pressed into a straight line. “I wasn’t feeling well.” She met his eye and added, “My morning sickness seems to hit me in the evenings. Go figure.”

  Boone blinked as he realized what she’d said. “Wow, congratulations, Brynn.” He smiled at her, a real, genuine smile. He wasn’t sure he could manage one of those at the moment, but he did.

  “Thank you.” She grinned, her whole being seeming to light up. “So I’m not sure. I texted Ethan about her this morning, and he said that yes, she was lying down last night too.”

  “And is that odd?”

  “He didn’t think so.”

  “What do you think?” Boone approached Sunshine, clicking his tongue at her. “What’s wrong, girl? Too many babies in there?”

  The likelihood that a mare could deliver more that one baby was pretty slim. If one of the fetuses had died, it could put the other one in danger. And delivering two healthy foals? It was the exception; Boone knew that much.

  He put his hand on her neck, relieved when she let him. Her eyes drifted halfway closed, and a sense of peace entered Boone. It was amazing to him how calming a horse was, how his spirit simply quieted in their presence.

  “Let me feel, okay?” He ran his fingertips down her neck and along her ribs, searching for the legs and feet of the baby. “Here’s one here,” he said, mostly for Brynn.

  He watched Sunshine’s face to make sure he wasn’t causing her any pain. She wasn’t panting. She didn’t seem to be having a problem at all. And since he could only feel one side of her belly, he honestly didn’t know if there was another foal inside or not.

  “Let’s get her bridled,” he said. “Would you hand me what I need?”

  Brynn complied, and Boone got Sunshine ready to stand. “All right, girl. Time to get up.” He tugged on the reins, but she resisted. “Come on.”

  When the horse still didn’t seem close to complying, he turned back to Brynn. “Maybe you should try.”

  A panicked look crossed her face, something Boone didn’t understand. But she came into the stall and took the reins from him. “Ethan’s concerned about me getting kicked,” she said, and Boone supposed that made sense.

  “Come on,” she said to Sunshine. “Get up, Sunny.”

  The horse did for Brynn, stumbling the slightest bit until she settled her weight on all four legs.

  “Keep her steady,” Boon said, moving around the front of the horse to the other side. He pressed and felt, moving his hands slowly. “She’s got some rot on this side,” he said, brushing at her coat. “She can’t lay down for that long.”

  Maybe Sunshine was just lazy…. “I don’t think there’s two babies in here either. You sure she’d only seven months along?”

  “I think so.”

  Boone kept back his exasperated sigh. He wasn’t sure why her non-answer bothered him so much. Probably because everything was bothering him today.

  He prayed that he could find a well of patience he didn’t know about as he continued to probe for any sign of discomfort or distress with the horse.

  “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with her,” he finally said. “Make sure she’s eating enough. Getting enough to drink. And she needs to exercise. She shouldn’t be this big with just one foal.”

  “All right,” Brynn said. “But Cal said—”

>   “I don’t really care what Cal said.” The words left Boone’s mouth before he could censor them.

  Brynn’s gaze flew to his, and Boone apologized quickly. “I’m tired,” he said. “Nicole—” He cut off, unable to continue. He brushed his hands off and moved out of the stall. “She’s not talking to me at the moment. I’m a little…stressed.”

  Brynn’s eyes softened, and she patted him on the shoulder like he was a dog. “She’ll come around.”

  “I don’t know why she’s so upset.”

  “She’s not used to being the center of attention.” Brynn kept a grip on the reins and led the horse out of her stall. “Come on Sunshine. We have to keep walking. You can’t be so lazy.”

  He simply closed the gate to the pen, followed her and Sunshine out, and headed home. But he didn’t want to be there, so he leashed Vader and Leia and went to where he’d first seen Nicole for the first time.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Nicole spent the night in Amarillo at a hotel. In the past, she’d slept curled in a ball in her mother’s hospital room. But she discovered this time that the city had charm, and the dreams she’d had about going to college and living in a big city brightened. She realized they’d never died. They’d simply taken up residence in the back of her mind.

  Boone had called and texted dozens of times. She finally called him back near dinnertime on Monday, after she’d been gone for over twenty-four hours. He’d be furious with her, and she wouldn’t blame him.

  But she was also furious with him. He should never have pushed her to sing in church. Never left his seat to come up to the choir section. How humiliating. Poor Nicole Hymas, forty years old and needs her boyfriend to help her sing a song.

  She shook her head, the angry tears pricking her eyes as the call finally connected.

  “Nicole,” Boone breathed into the line after only one ring. “Where are you? Are you okay? When are you coming home?”

  He sounded desperate, frantic almost, and some of Nicole’s anger cooled. “I’m in Amarillo. I’m fine. And I’ll be home in time for work on Thursday.” She honestly didn’t know when she’d go back to Three Rivers. Could be tomorrow. Or Wednesday. Or maybe she’d get up early on Thursday morning and make the hour-long drive in barely enough time to arrive at her desk by nine-thirty. She wasn’t sure.

  “I’ve been to your mama’s. She’s doing okay.”

  Guilt gutted Nicole. She hadn’t even thought about Mama and Daddy. “Thank you,” ghosted from her mouth.

  “I miss you,” he said.

  “I have to go.” She hung up before he could say anything more. She didn’t need him worming his way back into the soft parts of her heart. She wanted to be mad. It felt good to have something to hold onto, something to drive her to do more than she’d done with her life.

  And she realized that her suppressed anger had been what had kept her sane all these years. It wasn’t until Boone had started showing her what she’d been missing that she’d even known what kind of life she could have.

  She scuffed her feet along the sidewalk in front of the city buildings, the sky gray and threatening above her. But she didn’t want to go back to her hotel yet. The microscopic room choked her, much the same way Three Rivers had.

  What do I do now? she prayed, even tipping her head back to look into the heavens. How can I face everyone at church again? And how do I get rid of these furious feelings toward Boone?

  She felt the same way about him now as she had when he’d moved to town. Stolen her clinic. Strutted around the animal hospital like he’d founded the town, built the building, and single-handedly saved every animal in Texas.

  Nicole hated this corner of herself. The one where her thoughts were venomous and built on untruths. She’d spent a year in that corner, Boone the one keeping her there.

  Boone.

  Even as she thought his name, she realized how horrible she was being. The anger in her gut started to dissipate, but she gripped it with an iron fist and kept it close, close, close.

  Because then she could think. Then, things got done. Then, she didn’t have to admit that she was weak and the one to blame for everything that had happened.

  Nicole returned to her life in Three Rivers, just like she’d always known she would. Sure, she dreamt of a life in Amarillo, or Austin, or maybe even New Orleans. But she knew she’d never be able to leave Three Rivers as long as her parents were here.

  By the time she got to the clinic, Boone had already taken his first patient back. Secretly, she was glad. She didn’t want the first place she saw him to be the clinic, in front of Joanne and the other people who worked there.

  She’d closed her office door, a real irregularity for her, but Joanne knocked on it at the same time she opened it. She re-shut it behind her and perched on the edge of the chair across from Nicole.

  “How are you?”

  “Just fine.”

  Joanne wrung her hands. “Are you sure?”

  “Joanne,” Nicole said in her best office administrator voice.

  “Everyone feels so bad,” she said anyway. “Pastor Scott has called me twice a day, asking about you. Says you won’t answer your phone. Poor Brother Myron has baked himself enough cookies to raise hundreds of dollars at a bake sale. We’re all just so worried.”

  Nicole’s shoulders drooped as the fight left her body. She was tired of being so weak and pretending not to be. “I could use some cookies probably.” She attempted to smile. “Did I ruin the entire Christmas program?”

  “Of course not.” Joanne reached across the desk and put both of her hands on Nicole’s.

  Nicole pulled her hands away. She didn’t like being touched when she was stressed. Boone knew that. Boone gave her space. At least he used to.

  Joanne left, only to be replaced by Boone before ten minutes had passed. “Seriously?” she said when he poked his head through the door he’d just opened. “I’m not going to get any work done today.”

  “I just wanted to say hi.”

  “Hi.” She folded her arms on her desk and drank him in. He seemed different. Or maybe that was her. The same simmering annoyance that she’d experienced with Boone when he’d first moved to Three Rivers bubbled in her bloodstream now.

  But why? she asked herself. She didn’t particularly want to go back to her dreary, overlooked existence. But it felt good to be mad at him for some reason.

  He ducked out and closed the door, obviously able to feel her animosity though she hadn’t said anything too terrible. She sighed. It didn’t matter what she said. Boone had always been able to feel her mood.

  He didn’t come in again, and while she usually stayed late with him on Thursdays, tonight she left when Joanne did. She ran by her parents’ and made sure they were okay, then she went home. She wandered through her backyard, her mind spinning through the events of the past few days.

  Boone showed up about eight-thirty, a pizza box in one hand and a single red rose in the other. He didn’t say anything as he sat beside her on the bench in the backyard. She took the rose and he balanced the pizza box on his knees.

  “I’m really sorry,” he finally said.

  “It’s fine.”

  “I’ve dated a lot of women.”

  Her gaze flew to his and he looked at her like he was trying to really see inside her mind. She glanced away.

  After he cleared his throat, he said, “I’ve dated a lot of women, and when one says something is fine, it’s usually not.”

  “It really is.” Nicole didn’t want to explain herself. She leaned her head against Boone’s shoulder and linked her hand through his elbow, trying to sort through her own feelings.

  They felt tied up, jumbled, chained together in strange ways.

  He relaxed next to her, something that lightened the mood. He stayed for an hour and then headed home. She padded into her kitchen, where she found Taz and Valcor curled up in the same kennel. “Why can’t I accept his apology?” she whispered to the dark house and the sn
oozing dogs.

  He’d brought food, flowers, all the right words. And still Nicole felt stitched together wrong. She told herself she just needed more time and everything would work itself out.

  A week passed. The New Year came. Everything between her and Boone stayed cool, almost like the sizzle that had existed there had fizzled out. He only kissed her once, and finally, he showed up at her house early on a Friday morning wearing those skimpy shorts and that tight, silky T-shirt.

  “Can I come in?” he asked.

  It wasn’t exactly cold in Texas in January, but it wasn’t warm either. She stepped back to allow him space to enter.

  “This isn’t working for me,” he said maintaining eye contact. “I don’t think it’s working for you either.”

  Tears came immediately, but she nodded as she employed all her willpower to keep her eyes dry.

  “I don’t know what I did.” His shoulders remained boxy, his voice strong, his eyes unyielding. Irritation sang through her. He could at least pretend like he felt bad about breaking up with her. “I’ve apologized a bunch of times. I don’t know what else to do.”

  Nicole didn’t either. She hadn’t been able to move past her mental block with Boone, with Pastor Scott, with God.

  Boone’s jaw clenched, twitched, clamped, tensed. “So that’s it?”

  She didn’t know what he wanted her to say.

  “Are you going to say anything?” He folded his arms across his chest. Her heart cracked and bled. She wasn’t sure why she was allowing this when she loved him.

  Tell him! her heart screamed. Say something!

  Pain and anger and absolute agony streamed across his face. “I’ll see you at work.” He turned and wrenched open the door, leaving with long strides. “Come on, guys,” he said to his dogs. The last thing she heard was the gentle slap of his sneakers as he ran away from her house.

  Nicole let the tears fall then. She retreated to the only sanctuary she had left—the backyard, where she stayed for the rest of the day. She wasn’t sure what exactly had happened over the past couple of weeks. Most of the time she felt detached from her body, going through the motions at work and home.