Searching

by Kelli Kimble

  The next morning couldn’t come quickly enough. I stuffed some supplies into my pillowcase: A rope, water, my tablet, a whistle, a hat I’d found in one of the rooms we stumbled upon while looking for the exit, and a pouch of nutrient liquid. Then, I headed off to the exit. Leif and Tennie knew I was leaving first thing, and they already had a plan to mask my absence.

  I propped open the exterior door and made my way into the sunlight. It was even more beautiful, once I’d completely emerged from the hallway. I stuck the hat on my head to shade my eyes, and I stood there for a good 15 or 20 minutes, just feeling what it was like to be outside.

  Eventually, I got out my tablet and looked at the map. I began walking towards the dot that marked the location of the town hall. It was a short but steep downhill walk through stubby trees, before the ground flattened out some. I hadn’t gotten far though when I came to a fence. From Fiona’s stories, I knew the fence had a gate in it, so I turned to the right and walked along the fence, looking for it. Finding only the dead end leading to the mountain wall, I turned back in the other direction and found my way out.

  I lined myself up with the tablet again and began walking. Leif had been right; walking on uneven terrain wasn’t as easy as walking on a treadmill. I was quickly out of breath. I checked the map and found I still had two-and-a-half miles to go. I was already tired, and I wasn’t even halfway there.

  But, I still had plenty of time, so I pressed on. I checked the time when I’d finished the first mile. I’d been walking for at least 20 minutes. I sat down on a rock and took a sip of water. I leaned back and sat quietly, something I’d often done in the tank, whenever I felt overwhelmed. I was rewarded with a glimpse of a pair of squirrels, chattering over a nut. I watched in fascination as they appeared to argue. The larger squirrel won and ate the nut in triumph from a low branch. The other squirrel ran back and forth on the ground, chattering away.

  When I moved to stand up from the rock, I startled them both, and they retreated up a tree, where I couldn’t see them. I checked the time again. I’d now been gone for 30 minutes.

  The next mile took 25 minutes. Now worried that I wouldn’t have enough time to properly investigate the town hall, I didn’t stop for a rest. The final mile was slightly uphill and took even longer. But, the distance was closing.

  The tablet let out a little beep, letting me know that I was only a few hundred feet from the town hall. I was surrounded by a thick grove of tall trees, and I couldn’t see the town hall ahead. I kept moving, searching through the trees for a sign of it.

  Then, the tablet made a louder beep. According to it, I was standing right where the town hall should be. I turned in a circle, looking for anything that could be hiding the brick building. But, it wasn’t there. I banged on the tablet. Was it even working? Hopefully, it wasn’t broken, because I needed it to get back to the colony. I should have left myself a trail to find my way back. But, it was too late for that.

  Maybe, after all this time, the calibration was off. I set down my pillowcase and tablet and looked for a tree with some low branches. I found one and climbed up to a standing position on it. A branch near my knees allowed me to step higher, while hugging the tree trunk. The branches were distributed fairly evenly in that way, so I just kept climbing.

  When the branches started to seem too thin to support my weight, I stopped and looked around. I was maybe 30 or 40 feet from the ground.

  It seemed like a lot further than that.

  A sheen of sweat developed on my body, and I clung to the trunk. What was I thinking, climbing a tree? I was already tired from the long walk. Why hadn’t I brought the rope? I could have tied myself in place and used it as a safety line.

  A surge of anger came over me. No. I was going to be great, and I was going to do it by proving the town hall existed. I clenched my teeth and forced myself to look around for the building, instead of pressing my face to the bark.

  But, there was nothing. No fountain. No town square. No town hall.

  Lost in thought, I sat down on the branch. I reached a toe out to touch the next branch down. It wasn’t far; I’d climbed up from it easily. But, the distance seemed much bigger now. The ground was so far away, and it seemed to be getting further.

  Feeling like I would lose my balance, I pulled my foot back. I clung to the trunk. For the first time ever, tears came to my eyes. I was too afraid to get down. What was I going to do?

  There was nothing to do, really. I had trapped myself up there, and I was either going to fall down or climb down.

  After about an hour, I steeled my nerves enough to again reach for the next branch down. This time, I caught it with first one foot, and then the other. I eased my weight onto it, until I was that much closer to the ground. A shaky breath came out, and I started to hum a song I’d often heard Fiona sing. I didn’t know the words, but the tune soothed me, so I took advantage of the calmness I felt to move down one more branch. Then another. It was getting easier, and the ground was closer.

  That’s probably why I got careless.

  My right foot slipped from the branch below, and my left was not yet on it. I pitched forward, hitting my head just above my eye on the branch, and then falling, hitting branch after branch on my way down. Thankfully, I didn’t feel myself hitting the ground, because I was already unconscious.

  “Silver? Can you hear me?”

  I woke to an intense, bright light shining in my right eye. I squished my eyelids closed, trying not to let in the light. I lifted a hand to my forehead. It was throbbing, and something dried and sticky was on my skin.

  “He’s awake,” someone said. Fiona. Fiona was with me.

  I tried to sit up, but someone pushed me back down. I batted away the light, so I could open my eyes. It was dark out. “What’s going on?” I asked hoarsely.

  “You fell out of a tree, is what’s going on,” Fiona said. “What on Earth are you doing out here, Silver? I thought you were smarter than this.”

  I didn’t know how to respond.

  “I don’t think he has any broken bones,” another voice said. Fiona leaned back, and I saw that it was Maestro. Why did it have to be Maestro?

  “He’s bleeding—or, he was. From his forehead,” said Fiona.

  “I hit my head,” I said. “On a branch, when I fell.”

  “No kidding,” said Maestro. But, he leaned around Fiona and inspected my forehead. His face scrunched up in a look that could almost have passed for concern. “Close your eyes,” he said. Then, he poured water onto the cut. “You’ve got a good-sized bump there,” he said, “and a cut. I’m going to clean it and put a temporary bandage on it, until we get back inside. Then, we’ll do a real assessment.”

  I nodded as he sprayed something that caused an excruciating burning sensation into the cut. “Ow,” I complained as I tried to twist away. But, he was much stronger, and he held my head still.

  Then, Fiona started. “Silver, I don’t know what you were thinking, coming out here all alone like this,” she said.

  Maestro put a piece of gauze over my cut and taped it down. He wasn’t gentle.

  “You could have been killed, Silver,” Fiona continued. “This is just beyond anything I would have expected from you. I was so worried when Tennie told me where you were.” She fiddled with the bandage, trying to push it out of my eyes.

  I pushed her hand away and tried to sit up, but Maestro pushed me back down. “You shouldn’t get up yet,” he said. “Here, sip a little from your nutrient bag.” He handed it to me. The cap was already off. I drank a few sips, but it quickly came back up.

  Maestro rolled me onto my side to let me vomit. Then, he looked off into the distance. “We’ve got to get him home fast for an assessment. Vomiting and head injuries are not a good combination.”

  “Agreed. Leif! Time to go!” Fiona called into the woods behind her.

  Leif emerged from the trees. “Silver, I’m glad to see you’re awake,” he said.

  “No time for smooching,” sa
id Maestro. “We’re going to carry him home. He’ll sit between us, on our arms. Like a basket.”

  Leif’s face screwed up with resolve. “All right.”

  “We’re going to stand him up and steady him against Fiona. Then, we’ll hold hands, and she’ll tip him back into our arms. Got it?”

  Leif nodded, and everyone took up positions. I leaned against Fiona. Her expression was alternating between worry and fury. Then, they settled me back into their arm basket. It was surprisingly comfortable.

  Fiona picked everything up from the ground and stuffed it into a bag she put on her back. Then, the three of them started the long walk back to the mountain.

  We’d stopped to rest when Fiona blurted out, “I just don’t understand what it is you were doing, Silver. Why would you decide to come out here—and to this spot—and climb a tree?”

  “I told you,” said Leif. “He was looking for a building from the town that was here when the colony was built.”

  “But, why? That makes no sense.”

  Maestro snorted. “Exactly. I told them it was just a fairytale. He might as well have come out here looking for dragons, or mermaids.”

  Fiona studied Maestro, while Leif tried to explain. “It’s not a fairytale. Would you tell him? Pre-winter history is not made-up.”

  Fiona shrugged. “What difference does it make if it was made-up or not? Though I can’t think of any good reason to set someone to the task of making up history.”

  “Exactly,” I said, “and I’m going to prove it. History—even pre-winter history—may not be totally accurate. But, that doesn’t make it any less real.”

  “History is just made-up to make people like you feel good about themselves,” said Maestro.

  Fiona’s lips drew into a thin line. “That’s enough, all of you. Let’s get moving.”

  They labored on, and though they carried me, they made much better time than I had earlier. My head was throbbing again, and I couldn’t wait to lie down on my bed. But, when we got inside, they didn’t take me to my room. Instead, they took me to the infirmary.

  I don’t like the infirmary. It smells like medicines and sickness—though I don’t know if anyone had gotten much more than minor use of it in recent years.

  They put me on a table that rolled into a tube-like machine.

  “This is a health-assessment computer,” said Maestro. “It’s going to check you for injuries, like bleeding or broken bones. But, it won’t tell us why your brain is broken.” He sneered as he said it.

  “Get back to your chores, Maestro. Thank you for your assistance in bringing Silver home,” said Fiona. Her voice was cold, and she didn’t look at him as she said it.

  He slunk from the room.

  “All right,” Fiona continued. “Let’s get this started.” She pushed a few buttons, and the table slid into the tube. It made a soft whooshing sound, like the liquid in my tank. It was comforting.

  After a few minutes, I started to get drowsy. The day’s exertion—combined with the excitement and the injury—had exhausted me.

  The machine chimed, and the table slid back out. Fiona was standing beside me, her face pinched and nervous.

  “What’s the matter?” I asked.

  “You’ve got a concussion,” she said. “I can’t believe you went and did this. Do you know how upsetting this is? You could have died out there, all by yourself. What would possess you to do something so careless?”

  For a moment, my explanation did seem stupid. Maestro was right; I was an idiot to believe the stories. But, a small part of my brain triumphed. “Leif and Maestro already told you,” I said. “I’m going to prove that the pre-winter histories are real, and I’m going to do it by finding the actual ruins of that town and bringing back proof.”

  “Oh, you think so? Well, think again because I absolutely forbid it. I know you and Maestro don’t always see eye-to-eye. But, you’re never going outside again, do you hear me? Never.” Her face heightened in color as she said it, and her voice increased in volume.

  “I’m sorry to have upset you,” I said. “But, this is important to me.”

  “Too bad. It will be a month or more before you’re recovered from this injury.” She walked away from me, and then whirled and paced back. “A brain injury! This is serious, Silver. You could have died.” She swallowed and looked away as her shoulders drooped. “You still could.”

  I didn’t know what to say, so I stayed silent.

  She pointed to a bed in the corner of the infirmary. “You’ll be sleeping there for the next few days. I’ll have Tennie or Leif bring your things.” She took a ragged breath. “I’m just so angry right now. I don’t want to say anything more. Just undress and get in bed. The sensors in the bed will monitor you.” She stalked from the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

  I made my way carefully to the bed. I was already starting to feel sore spots and bruises from my fall. But, I managed to take off my clothes, as she’d demanded, and get into the bed. There was a blanket on it, and I pulled it up over my nakedness.

  Chapter 4

  When I next woke, I found Fiona, sitting next to my bed. She hadn’t noticed me yet, and her head was bent over a small weaving loom. I shifted and inhaled a sharp breath as pain shot through me.

  “You’re awake,” she said as she set aside her work. “It hurts.”

  I nodded.

  “Good. I’m glad it hurts, because it should hurt as much as the lesson you learned. This is a big one, Silver. You left the colony by yourself, and then did stupid things outside. Dangerous things.”

  I hung my head.

  “And now, I don’t trust you. So, I’m going to do something to you I never thought I’d have to do to another human being, ever. I’m going to lock you up in this room, and your siblings are going to take turns coming in here to watch you. How does that feel?”

  I shook my head, unable to form words.

  “Good. It should feel bad.”

  I twined my fingers around the corner of the sheet. I wanted her to stop talking in that tone. I wanted her to say she was glad that I was all right. I wanted her to say that she loved me.

  But, she didn’t. She folded the loom and tucked it under her arm. “I’m leaving now, and I’m locking the door behind me—and don’t think that I’m dumb enough to let Tennie and Leif guard you.”

  “Okay,” I said, not looking up. I pushed back the tears that were threatening. I couldn’t let her see me cry.

  She went to the door.

  “Wait,” I said.

  She hesitated at the door, her back to me.

  “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wanted to be special.”

  “You are special,” she said. “Special to me. All of you are.”

  “Then, none of us are,” I said, rolling onto my side to face the wall.

  She hesitated for a moment more, and I heard her take in a breath, as if she was going to speak, but she didn’t. Instead, the door opened and closed, and I heard the lock slide into place.

  I stared at the wall, until I fell asleep again.

  ◆◆◆

  Someone shook me awake.

  “What?” I said, rolling onto my back.

  “You’ve got chores to do,” he said. He was bald, and I mentally tried to place him. He had gotten out of the tanks before me. Ron. Roy? Roy.

  “What kind of chores am I supposed to be doing in bed?” I said.

  “The kind that remind you not to wander outside alone again,” he said. He indicated a basket behind him. “All these clothes need repairs: New buttons, hems, that kind of thing. Here’s the mending supplies.” He dropped a bucket on the side of my bed. “Better get started.”

  I sat up and grimaced. The blanket fell away from my chest, and his eyes widened. “What did you do to yourself?”

  I looked down. A huge bruise bloomed across my chest in shades of red, purple, and black. I was sure it wasn’t the only bruise I had. “I need some clothes,” I said, ignoring his ques
tion.

  He shrugged and tossed a smock at me. “I understand now, why you need to be guarded,” he said.

  I bit back a response and slid out of bed as carefully as possible. Even the soles of my feet hurt when I stood up. I shrugged into the smock and grabbed a garment from the basket. I looked around for a place to sit. The only chair was occupied by Roy, and I never wanted to go near the assessment table again. I sat on the edge of the bed and started sewing a new button.

  “I don’t get it,” said Roy, breaking the silence. “Why would you go outside, anyway?”

  I sighed. “It’s hard to explain,” I said.

  “Fine,” he said. “We don’t have to talk.”

  I knew that already. I mended everything in the basket, and when I was done, he gathered the basket and the mending bucket and left without saying another word.

  Later, another sibling came. This one had come out of the tanks a little bit after me, and I didn’t remember his name. He didn’t bring any chores for me, but he did bring me lunch. The green nutrient bag made my stomach turn over when I saw it. “Fiona said I should insist that you eat,” he said. He held it out to me.

  I accepted it but didn’t drink from it right away.

  “Silver?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I—why would you go outside like that? All by yourself?”

  I shook my head. None of them could fathom my drive to prove my theory. They were all so damn similar.

  “I just don’t understand why you’d want to be by yourself, after all that time alone in the tank,” he said.

  I gave him a sharp glance. That wasn’t quite what I’d expected. “It wasn’t about being alone,” I said.

  “But, Tennie said you insisted on doing it yourself—that you wouldn’t let her or Leif go with you.”

  “It wasn’t about being by myself,” I said. “It was about proving myself.” I opened the nutrient bag and started drinking. It tasted gritty and unpleasant.

  His face scrunched up in confusion.

  “Never mind,” I said.

  “That doesn’t make sense. We all want to prove our worth. But, how does going outside alone prove anything?”