The Holders

by Julianna Scott

  “It’s not going to hurt, is it?”

  “It’s not going to hurt,” I assured Ryland, as we stood in the small rotunda outside the Inner Chamber. Jocelyn had a few last minute things to tell everyone before the test that Ryland couldn’t hear. Mr Anderson had stepped in to listen, and Ry and I were waiting for him to come back and get us.

  “And I don’t have to do anything?”

  “Nope, nothing. They are going to put this big bracelet on your arm, then give you a small metal circle to hold, and then it’ll be over.”

  He kept fidgeting with his jacket button, nervously. “You’re sure that’s it?”

  “That’s it.”

  “Then why is everyone acting like it’s a big deal.”

  “Who told you it was a big deal?”

  “No one told me it is, but they keep telling me it isn’t, and when something really isn’t a big deal no one ever says it isn’t, they just don’t say anything. People only say things aren’t a big deal when they really are.”

  I had to hand it to the kid, he was perceptive. “You’re thinking too much,” I said, trying to play it down. “I promise, you won’t even know anything is happening. And wait until you see all the cool stuff that’s in there,” I added, trying to move his focus.

  Before he could argue again I heard feet on the other side of the door and realized Mr Anderson was coming to get us.

  “Everything will be fine,” I said, stepping behind him, and placing my hands on his shoulders. “Just relax. You will be back in your room before you know it.”

  The lock clicked and the door swung open, and there was… Jocelyn. It wasn’t Anderson at all. My hands tightened on Ryland’s shoulder, but my mouth stayed closed.

  His eyes were on me for a split second before they darted away. He stooped down on his haunches, to be eye-level with Ry. “Are you ready?”

  “Yes,” came the timid reply.

  “Don’t worry, it won’t take but a second.”

  As Jocelyn backed against the open door, so that we could pass by, I did my best to keep my expression impassive, and ignore the way his warm affectionate tone with Ryland sent stabbing pains to my stomach.

  Ryland took a step toward the door, but then spun around and whispered up to me, “Are you sure it won’t hurt?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Would I let anything hurt you?”

  He dropped his head, resigned. “No.”

  “Then what are you worried about?”

  He gave me one more tentative glace before turning back around, looking up at Jocelyn who smiled, and walking into the Chamber. I meant to follow immediately behind him, but paused, glaring at Jocelyn.

  “If that thing hurts him,” I whispered, chin up, looking him straight in the eye, “I swear to God, I’ll kill you.” Without another word, I stepped past him and through the door.

  Min was already leading Ryland to the table in the center of the room, so I made my way over to where everyone else was standing and took a place by Alex.

  “How’s he doing?” he whispered, as I slid in next to him.

  “Good. Better than me.” Only after I said the words did I realize how true they were. Ryland was doing well. Nervous sure, but otherwise well. While I, on the other hand, had been putting on a brave face all day, but now that he was finally up there about to do this I was freaking out. What if he got hurt? What if it was too much for his tiny body to handle? What if he touched it and it blew up, or messed with his head, or turned him into some crazy–

  The touch of a hand on my back brought my mental panic to a halt. I glanced to my side, though I didn’t need to. I knew it was Alex.

  “He’ll be fine,” he breathed, rubbing my back in small, somewhat shy circles, in an effort to comfort me. Had the situation been different, I probably would have melted into a puddle on the floor. As it was however, I was too much on edge. Ryland would be fine, deep down I knew that, but still, as much as I wanted to be calm, and as much as Alex rubbing my back did console me, it was impossible not to be nervous.

  I focused my attention on the center of the room where Min was placing the huge Sciath on Ryland’s pencil-thin arm. Jocelyn had locked the Chamber door behind us and was standing beside Min, while the new guy, Cormac, was standing on the other side of the table. Once the Sciath was in place, Min opened the glass case containing the Iris and pulled it out. She glanced first at Jocelyn, then at Cormac, to make sure they were ready. When they both nodded, she looked down at Ryland and held out her hand. The room itself seemed to hold its breath as she slowly placed the Iris into Ryland’s waiting palm, and then…

  Nothing.

  Or nothing that I could see anyway. I looked around at the others to see if there was something I had missed, but they were all focused on the group in the middle of the room. I saw Min glance at Jocelyn, then at Cormac, then Jocelyn looked at Min. They were all shooting glances at one another, their looks slowly changing from expectation, to surprise, to incomprehension – but no one was saying anything.

  What the hell was going on?

  Finally I couldn’t take it any longer. “What’s happening?” I whispered to Alex, though I was sure the entire room heard me.

  “I don’t know,” he mouthed, eyebrows pulling together in confusion.

  “Well?” Taron asked aloud, for once making me grateful for his presence.

  “I’m not sure,” Min finally said, shaking her head. “Jocelyn, do you…?”

  “No, nothing. Cormac?”

  “No,” Cormac sighed, “it didn’t work.”

  “What do you mean it didn’t work?” Taron barked, effectively ending my grateful streak. “It has to work. It has to work!”

  “How can you be sure?” Mr Reid asked, more pleasant though still with a concerned tone.

  “I am positive,” Cormac assured them. “The boy has had absolutely no change in his ability, nor has the general power level of the room altered in any way.

  “It’s true,” Min agreed. “His saol is also unchanged.”

  “How can that be?” Taron croaked.

  “Perhaps there’s been a mistake?” Mr Reid suggested

  “Could his Sciath be interfering?”

  “He’s too young.”

  “Age has nothing to do with it.”

  “He should be awakened.”

  “What if it’s all been wrong…?”

  “Was it done correctly…?”

  Everyone was talking at once, yelling over each other, trying to be heard, but I wasn’t listening. What was being said didn’t concern me. All I was concerned with was the little boy still standing in the middle of the room, eyes darting around to all the yelling adults, growing more upset by the second. When his frantic gaze finally met mine, I waved him over to me. He timidly slid the Iris onto the table and ran over, hiding his face in my side.

  “I’m sorry,” he squeaked, as the commotion around us continued.

  “No, buddy.” I stroked his hair. “You did fine.”

  “It’s not your fault Ryland, you did great,” Alex added, laying a hand on his shoulder. He was now the only one in the room, other than Ryland and me, not caught up in the fuss.

  “What happened?” I asked Alex, though it was more of a rhetorical question, as it was clear no one else there had any idea.

  Ryland pressed harder into my side as the battling voices grew louder, and my temper began to grow with them. These bastards were scaring him! He’d done everything they’d asked, and they were making him feel like he was the one who’d messed up!

  “Gentlemen!” Alex called, causing the room to fall silent. “Perhaps we should discuss this elsewhere?”

  The expressions around the room grew soft, and in some cases even embarrassed and apologetic as they all finally noticed the trembling kid hiding behind my arm. Everyone nodded and relaxed, seeming to agree that this should be handled at another time – everyone except Taron. He was still up in arms, and wasn’t about to let anyone derail his tirade. He snatched the Iris
off the table and came stomping toward us.

  “He will at least try it again,” he snapped, reaching out to grab Ryland’s hand.

  “You get away from him!” I snarled from between clenched teeth, more than done with his obnoxious attitude.

  “Taron,” Alex said calmly, placing a hand on his arm, “we know how much you–”

  “He’s not leaving until he tries again.” Taron sneered at me, shaking Alex’s hand away and ignoring him.

  “And I said no!” I pushed Ryland further behind me. “If you all can’t figure out how to work that thing,” I said, glancing down at the Iris in his shaking hand, “then that’s your problem! He didn’t do anything wrong!”

  “Of course not,” Min said, with a sympathetic smile to Ry. “You did fine Ryland, you are free to go. Thank you for your help.”

  “No!” Taron roared, reaching around me, practically shoving the Iris in Ryland’s face.

  “I said get away from him!”

  I reached over and ripped the Iris out of his hand, intending to throw it at his flaky bald head. However as soon as my fingers touched the smooth pewter surface, everything around me disappeared and I was suddenly floating in a warm sea of light. All my anger and fear from a moment ago slipped away leaving me with a feeling so relaxed and happy it reminded me of how it feels to wake up in the morning knowing you have no reason to get up, so you snuggle down into the covers again.

  Had I been upset? Why? Everything was wonderful, there was no reason to be mad.

  Along with my sudden ease, came a heightened sense of sight and sound. In fact, all my senses seemed to be in overdrive. All around me there were colors swirling gently in and out of one another, and ribbons of sound that were so clear it felt as though I could reach out and touch them. In the distance I could hear voices, dozens of them, all interwoven into a single hum of nondescript sound, the same as you might hear in a large room filled with people all talking amongst themselves. All of the colors and sounds and voices blended together into a beautiful tapestry that not only surrounded me, but flowed through me, mingling and blending with my own lazy thoughts and feelings, velvet against my mind and tingling along my skin. I began to feel drowsy, and wondered listlessly how different this place really was from the world of dreams. Just as I was about to sink off to sleep, I heard an echo of voices that sounded like they were coming from somewhere nearby.

  “We have to get it away from her!”

  “Can anyone reach?”

  “Duncan!”

  I tried to listen, but couldn’t focus. I was just… so… tired…

  Then, like being thrown into an ice-bath after a sauna, I slammed back to reality, collapsing to the floor. I went to get up, but couldn’t move. Tried to open my eyes, but it was no use. As I lay like a wet towel on the floor, all came back to me: taking Ryland to the Inner Chamber, yelling at Taron, the Iris, the test…

  The test!

  Everything I’d been hearing over the past few weeks started to spin in my head as my mind began to drift away…

  “…a mighty warrior…”

  “…only one Holder would ever be able to use it…”

  “…recognize instantly…”

  “…ensuring the survival of the Holder race…”

  “…most powerful Holder the world has known…”

  All of those echoes and more melded together, forming the last conscious thought to pass through my mind, changing my life forever:

  It was me.

  16

  The first thing I was aware of was the comforting smell of herbs: anise, chamomile, and coriander, along with several others I didn’t recognize. I wasn’t sure where I was, but I could tell I was lying down and no longer on the floor. The lack of echo meant I was in a much smaller room than the one I could last remember being in, and the shuffling of feet told me there was at least one other person there. A pot was boiling somewhere behind me, and every few minutes I felt the pressure of cool hands checking the temperature of my forehead and cheeks. I lifted my hundred-pound eyelids to find Chloe sitting next to me, anxiously fussing with the edge of the blanket that was pulled up under my chin.

  “Oh!” she jumped when she noticed I was looking at her. “Oh, Min! Min, she’s awake!”

  “Yes, yes, I see,” Min said, coming into view, shooing Chloe out of the chair so she could sit. “Well now,” she smiled down at me. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m not sure,” I croaked over a dry throat. “OK, I guess.”

  “Here,” Min said, holding something brown to my lips. “Eat this.”

  “What is it?” I asked, eyeing it.

  “It will help.”

  That wasn’t exactly an answer, but I let her put the small disk into my mouth anyway, figuring she was only asking to be polite and that I probably didn’t have a choice in the matter. Thankfully, it was good, though a bit strange; like caramel, only crumblier.

  As I chewed I glanced around trying to get my bearings, realizing that I had been moved to what looked like an office. There were shelves on several walls, some covered with books, while others held hundreds of glass jars and bottles. There was a small fire going in the fireplace immediately opposite the door, with several bunches of different branches and flowers hanging upside-down from the mantle, drying. The remaining walls were hung with scarves that looked as though at one time they had been vibrant and colorful but had since faded with age. Even the couch I was lying on had originally been green with little embroidered flowers, but the fabric was so worn in some places that it had turned a dingy beige and you could almost see through it to the stuffing underneath.

  As I looked at the threadbare upholstery cloth it occurred to me how well I was actually able to see it; each thread and weave pattern was crisp and clear. Then I realized that all my senses were turned up a notch. Not only could I hear the pot boiling on the stove, but also the faint tapping of the seeds or berries that were being boiled as they bounced along the bottom. I could smell the potpourri of all the spices and herbs on the shelves, but could also pick each out individually, noting their small distinctions even if I didn’t know what they were called. The whole world was brighter and more focused. Not to an alarming degree, but certainly enough for me to take notice. Like cleaning a window you didn’t realize was dirty, and being amazed by the difference.

  “Your saol is looking much better,” Min told me, calling me out of my internal marveling. “Your strength should be back in full by tomorrow.”

  “What happened to me?”

  “You activated the Iris!” Chloe said with something between excitement and concern. “But it drained your life energy.”

  “But…” I closed my eyes for a second, trying to force my sluggish brain to work. “Why would it do that?”

  “It appears to be your vulnerability,” Min said. “Do you know what that means?”

  “Um… I guess. Alex mentioned something about weaknesses, and how every Holder has one, and that your Sciath protects you.”

  “Exactly. Though luckily it seems that your weakness is tied specifically to the Iris.”

  “Wait, what? I don’t understand.”

  “A Holder’s vulnerability is usually revealed the moment they remove their Sciath. For instance, if I do not have mine on, I lose the ability to cast charms. Were Jocelyn to remove his, he would immediately lose control over his mind-reading and be forced to hear the thoughts of everyone nearby. But you need to be in possession of the Iris for your weakness to affect you. It’s very interesting,” she added, almost to herself.

  “No, not that,” I said, shaking my head, wondering if I was in some weird dream. “What I meant was, I don’t understand why you are telling me all this. I know about weaknesses and Sciaths and all that, but what does that have to do with me? That’s all Holder stuff. I’m not a Holder.”

  “But you are,” Chloe beamed, kneeling down next to me, her excitement growing. “You activated the Iris, or the Iris activated you I suppose, but either w
ay it worked! Everyone thought it was Ryland, but it’s been you all the time! You’re the one the Order’s been waiting for!”

  I stared blankly up at her, growing more confused by the second. They thought I was the one they needed? “No!” I shook my head as if to clear it. “No, that can’t be…” A small part of my mind remembered coming to that same conclusion just before blacking out, but honestly I’d been hoping that part had been a dream.

  It had to be a dream, didn’t it? It was Ryland. He was the one they wanted. I’d spent weeks worrying about him – worrying about all this power that he supposedly held, worrying about his safety and the man who was after him, worrying about his future and everything that was expected of him – only to now find out that it was me?

  But then, that would mean… Ryland was safe. That he was normal. (Well, relatively normal, anyway.)

  No one wanted to kill him.

  No one wanted his ability for their own.

  No one was depending on him to save the world.

  He was safe.

  Safe – because they all wanted me.

  I should have been happy at the prospect of taking his place in all this, and there was a large part of me that was truly relieved. For the moment however, that part was easily overwhelmed by the dry lump of terror swelling in the back of my throat.

  “I can’t,” I whispered, beginning to shake. “I don’t know how… I… can’t…” The air started to rush faster and faster in and out of my mouth, as my mind spun around itself, trying desperately to find something solid to hold on to.

  “Shush, now, off with you!” Min scolded Chloe, chasing her up off the floor and away from the couch. “Look now, you’ve upset her!”

  “I’m sorry,” Chloe repented, biting her lip.

  “Keep your giddy prattling to yourself, or I’ll send you off! She needs rest, not you yammering away, scaring the life out of her.”

  “Sorry,” Chloe whispered, sitting on an armchair on the other side of the room. “I’ll be quiet, I promise.”

  “Now, now,” Min said, turning her attention back to my panic attack. “Everything is all right – now,” she said, placing a hand on my chest, stopping my weak attempt to sit up. “Breathe through your nose and relax.”