What You Do To Me (Unexpected Love)

by Izzy Cullen

  Ignoring Alex was hard. That morning, I had the same six arrangements delivered to the house like the ones from days ago. This time, there was a note card attached. You never said your favorite so I sent the same again. I know your favorite is in there some place. Call me xoxo Alex

  The girls and I spent the day out of the house enjoying the park, nature walks and lunch along the boardwalk. We didn’t get home until much later than I had planned, but it was a great day. The girls ran upstairs for their bath and I booted my computer to upload the pictures from the day. When I plugged in my SD card, the pictures from the weekend loaded first. My heart stopped when I saw the pictures from the Tigers game. I couldn’t take my eyes off the pictures after the game with Sam, Derek, Alex and myself. In the first picture, we were not looking at the camera, but instead, each other, but on the second one, he was still looking at me. His eyes fixed on me and were not moving. I thought for sure he turned to look at the camera too. I scrolled back to the meet and greet, and I saw the same thing. The two pictures with the band Alex, wasn’t looking at the camera, he was staring right at me. Looking at the pictures, I felt a pain in my chest; I couldn’t help but wonder if I was doing the right thing, I couldn’t help staring at him in the pictures. I had to force him from my thoughts, as Lily and the twins yelled to me that they were ready for their bath. Hearing their voice reminded me that it wasn’t about me, but about my three girls upstairs. My feelings didn’t matter anymore, because I had to put them first.

  The next morning the girls woke me, knowing that later, they would be going to my parent’s house for the night. I worked one to two nights a week, so my dad could have the night off. He was so much a control freak like me, and not overseeing the day-to-day running of the pub, drove him crazy, but me being there made him fine with leaving for the night.

  The girls dragged me out of bed and down the stairs and we went on with our summer morning routine. The girls chatted with Derek on Face Time as I sipped my coffee and read one of my magazines. I said a quick hello to Derek and got the girls ready for my parents. After lunch, I dropped the girls off at my parents and headed out to the hiking trails to get a run in before heading to work at the pub.

  I hadn’t been on a run in a few days and the run felt so freeing. My mind was processing everything that had happened in the few short days and I had myself convinced I was doing the right thing for the girls and myself. I think I might have believed it, until his voice was heard in my thoughts. I realized I hadn’t removed any of the Awakening songs from my playlist and so I immediately changed the song. I ran harder, trying to outrun my thoughts of Alex, but I couldn’t. My lungs felt as if they were going to explode, so I stopped and grabbed my knees so I could catch my breath. That is when I realized that tears were running down my face and I knew the pain I was feeling was because I missed Alex. The past few days without talking to him had been pure hell. My feelings were so torn and conflicted. I felt so alive with Alex. He listened to me and I thought he really cared, but I couldn’t risk him not loving me, or the girls.

  I left the trails, feeling as if I had been in a fight. In a way, I had been in a fight…with myself. I just needed to keep telling myself I was doing the right thing for the girls. I needed to put the girls first, because I could not and would not have my girls feel unloved ever again. They deserved so much more than what I had given them and Lily’s pain was my fault. All of it was my fault. No seven-year-old should ever question being loved.

  I got home and took a quick shower, then changing into my O’Hare tank and a fairly short jean skirt. I threw my hair into a ponytail and slipped on a pair of white canvas Kids shoes, after which, I grabbed my bag and headed out the door. When I climbed in the car, I realized I better hurry, because I was going to be late. Of course, it wasn’t like Daryl cared. It was just one more thing that he could harass me about throughout the tonight.

  I pulled into the back and smiled; I loved working at the pub. I loved seeing people I had known my whole life and I loved talking and catching up with them. When I walked through the door, Daryl was smiling.

  “Well, well, well, if only I was the boss’s daughter, I could come in late.”

  “I wish you were the boss’s daughter. I’d love to see that ass in a mini skirt.” I smiled back and got a laugh from the few guys sitting at the bar.

  The night was a typical summer night. We had our regulars coming in and a few tourists that made their way in for dinner and drinks. I was talking to a few of the fisherman from town and wiping down a table when my Godfather, Bruce, grabbed me for a hug.

  “Seriously, make Daryl wipe down the tables. Every man is eying you as you bend over the tables to wipe.”

  “Shut up, that’s not true. So what drags you in here tonight?” I had always loved him like a second dad. He was the one I called when I got my dad’s truck stuck in a ditch and the one I called drunk from a party in high school, after my boyfriend left me when I told him I wouldn’t have sex with him in a bathroom.

  “Last I checked, it’s Thursday and you work Thursday nights. Plus, I had to fly a man in and for some strange reason, he was fixed on finding you tonight, so I brought him.” I looked at Bruce with confusion in my eyes. I turned and looked over his shoulder and in an instant, my stomach dropped. Holy shit, what was Alex doing here tonight? He should have a show tonight or tomorrow, so why was he here?

  “Abbs, he couldn’t stop talking about you on the plane. He had no clue the relationship I have with you and I’m telling you that boy is smitten.” I looked up at Bruce as he was grinning at me. “Go on, he had a lot of travel to make it here, just to see you.”

  I slowly walked over to Alex and he closed the distance by meeting me. “Why are you here?” The words were out before I realized I even spoke.

  “Well, you won’t return my calls or my texts, and after the phone conversation with you the other night, I think we should talk.” His eyes were so intense, but there was a pleading look behind them.

  “Alex, this isn’t going to work. It’s easier just to cut ties now.” I turned to walk back to the bar.

  Alex gently grabbed my arm to turn me back to face him, causing my skin to tingle at the spot were he touched me, making a sensation travel all through my body. I felt so betrayed by my very own body at that moment. “Abby, are you kidding me? After everything you said and what I said, you are doing this? How, why?”

  “I was drunk. I don’t even remember talking to you.” I now saw hurt in Alex’s eyes. I didn’t want to hurt him more. I needed him to leave. “Look, I have to work. I’ll call you a cab. Where are you staying?”

  “With you and I’m not leaving.” I looked at him and I was getting really pissed.

  I felt Bruce behind me and he tapped me on the shoulder. “Abby, honey, you are giving the whole town a show right now, so either finish the conversation in back or leave it be till later.” I turned around to see most the heads at the bar looking right at us. Fuck, just my luck, more talk of me around town, but I knew Bruce was right.

  “Fine, if you won’t leave, find a seat, I’ll have Daryl get you a beer.” With that, I turned and walked away.

  Bruce put his arm around Alex and led him to a barstool next to his usual spot. I looked up and shot Bruce a nasty look and he followed by shooting me a smile.

  I did my best to avoid Alex all night. I told Daryl he was Alex’s personal waiter and to make him comfortable, hoping that way, he had no need to talk to me. As I was cleaning one of the tables, Jimmy, one of the locals, came up to me placing a hand around my waist. I could tell he was drunk, but I didn’t want to make a scene with Alex there.

  “So, is he the one that is buying you all the flowers?” I looked at Jimmy wondering why the hell he cared.

  “Does it matter?”

  “Abby you have always felt you are better than this town and the guys in it.” I looked at him confused and wondered where that was coming from. I removed his hand from my waist and I slid away from him. “You nev
er once dated any of the guys from here. You ran off and married the big city guy, who only ran around with everyone else in town.” I could feel my anger boiling over and I had to check my temper.

  “Jimmy, what the fuck is your problem?”

  “I don’t know. You would think after David died you would look around here for someone who could make you happy. You are like the Holy Grail in this town. No man in this town has ever been able to get you in bed, and believe me, we all want too.”

  “Jimmy, you have had way too much to drink and I am going to forget about this conversation.” I turned and yelled to one of the guys with Jimmy to get his stuff and to take him home.

  Jimmy pulled one of my wrists, pulling me back to face him. “This conversation isn’t over. You are such a tease. I mean, come on, who dresses like that and is not willing to give it up?”

  Feeling like I was ready to erupt, I leaned in closer to Jimmy, “This conversation is over and the reason I don’t give it up to you, is because you are a classless pig who has always been an asshole ever since I’ve known you. Now, let me fucking go.”

  Jimmy let go of my hand, but brought his finger up and pointed it at my chest, but before he could say anything, his hand was being yanked away. I looked up and saw Alex with his hand around Jimmy’s finger.

  “I believe she told you the conversation was over, so maybe you should meet your friend over there by the door.” Alex looked pissed off and it reminded me of the night at the club. I couldn’t help seeing the vein in Alex’s neck throbbing and I saw his other hand in a tight ball next to his side.

  I reached for Alex and told him to let Jimmy go. Jimmy immediately turned to the door and headed out. My eyes stayed on Alex, and then his hands reached for my waist. I knew I needed to stop anything that might happen, but I had no control over my body. I heard a voice over my shoulder, which prevented Alex from pulling me any closer.

  “Well, Abbs, there is never a dull moment here with you. I told you to have Daryl wipe down the tables, because that skirt is too damn short.” I heard a bit of scolding in Bruce’s voice. I hadn’t realized how close this table had been to the barstools that Bruce and Alex were sitting at, so I was sure they heard everything that was said.

  I still didn’t talk to Alex during the night. Bruce left shortly after eleven, and Daryl and I started to close down around one. We still had a few of the townies at the bar, but we were able to clean around them. Alex helped sweep, picking up the chairs and placing them on the tables. Daryl mopped and I restocked the beer. While I was bending to grab another case of beer from the beer closet, I felt hands encircle me at the waist from behind. I dropped the case and quickly stood and turned. Alex was behind me smiling. He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “Bruce is right. You should not be wearing this skirt, because I have been picturing myself taking you on every surface of this bar. I want you and need to be inside you. I’ve missed your feel and I’ve missed your voice.”

  Nothing more had to be said. I reached up and grabbed Alex, yanking his mouth down to mine. God, I wanted him and I didn’t care where. Fighting these feelings was so much easier, than not seeing him. Now that Alex was here in front of me, it was so hard to push him away as I had been trying to do.

  Alex bent down and when he picked me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist. He set me on top of a stack of beer cases. His hands left my waist, slid down my legs, and started working their way back up. My hands gripped his hair and my mouth had left his and was now on his neck. I moved my hand from his hair and slid them down his front, grabbing at his waistband. My head was spinning, lost in everything I wanted to do with him. Alex’s hands were now moving up my tank top and massaging my breasts through my bra. I let out a soft moan and started pulling at his shirt. I was immediately thrown from the moment when I heard a clearing of the throat and a knock on the door. “Um, sorry to interrupt, but if it’s okay with you, and I’m guessing it will be, I’m going to head out now.” I saw Daryl who was standing with his back to the entryway of the door.

  Pulling my hands from Alex’s waist, I gently pushed his aside and hopped down from the stack of beer I was sitting on. I smoothed out my skirt and tank top and walked out of the beer closet. “Is everyone out and is everything locked up?” I felt my face grow red and hot. I had never been so embarrassed in my life. I couldn’t believe I allowed this to happen here in the bar.

  “Yep, I just walked the guys to the front door and locked it up. I did the deposit for you. If you want, I can drop it in the night drop on my way home.” I could tell Daryl was uncomfortable talking to me right now.

  “Sounds good and thanks, I’ll see you later.”

  “Yep, see you later, have a good night.” As soon as Daryl said the words, he quickly looked at the ground and walked away. I didn’t think he meant it in the way it came out, but in the way he caught Alex and I in the closet, I felt embarrassed by the statement.

  Alex emerged from the closet as soon as Daryl left. I turned and looked at him and he started laughing, I hit him, but then I started laughing too. However, this was so not funny. What was I doing? I needed to end this before it went any further. “Come on, grab your stuff and let’s go, unless we need to go back in there for more beer,” Alex said, while raising an eyebrow at me.

  “No, my dad can do it in the morning when he comes in.” I turned on my heels and headed for the office to grab my things. Walking out of the office, I looked at Alex as he was leaning against the bar. My stomach was flipping. I had forgotten how perfect looking he was and the tattoos. Alex turned and saw me looking at him, which immediately made him smile. “So, where are your bags?”

  “Bruce put them in your car when we got here tonight.”

  “What, who said you were coming home with me tonight? Seriously, the whole town is going to be talking about this tomorrow.” I said as I was walking towards him.

  “Abby, who cares? I’d rather them be talking about you with me, than you with someone else.” He nudged me when he said that to me.

  “First off, I’m not with anyone, you included.” I turned and headed for the door.

  “That’s not what you said the other night,” Alex responded from behind me. I ignored the comment and walked out the back door, waiting for him to exit so I could lock it. As Alex walked past me, he gently kissed me on the cheek and headed for the passenger side of the car.

  14.

  I pulled into the driveway and my stomach was in knots. This was not the way to end things by bringing him to my house; I should have thought this through better. Really, who the hell was I kidding; there was no thinking when it came to him.

  “Are we going to sit in the driveway or head into the house? I can sleep in the car. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time.” Alex broke me from my internal thoughts. I opened my car door without even responding to his question. I heard Alex opening his door and then the back door to grab his bag. In no time, he was next to me on the porch as I opened the front door. “You don’t lock your door?” He said shocked and a little stunned.

  “No, and I leave my keys in the ignition of my car too.” I shut the door and locked it behind him when he entered the doorway. I hung my purse on the hook and turned toward the hall. Alex grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned my head on his chest. I had missed his smell and those arms.

  “Abby, why have you been ignoring my calls? I can’t focus or think, and the guys are getting pissed. I want to cancel the whole tour.”

  “What, why would you cancel the tour?” I was still not looking at him, but taking in his scent, because I didn’t want to forget it after tonight.

  “Why do you think? I want to be near you, see you and not just through Face Time, but really with you.” Alex took a hand from my waist and brought it to my chin so he could tilt my head up so our eyes met.

  “Alex, I can’t talk about this tonight. I don’t want to think about tomorrow or the future, because you’re here now, so l
et’s just focus on that.” I had to avoid the topic. I needed him and wanted him. No way could I end it until I spent one last time with him. Even then, I knew it would be one of the hardest things I ever had to do.

  Alex leaned down and started to kiss me. His tongue was in my mouth and his hands were up my shirt, traveling up my back and moving to my front. I pushed him up against the wall, wanting and needing more of him. When I pulled at the base of his shirt to take it off, he stopped me. Alex bent down, placing his hands around my ass and upper thighs. He picked me up and he put me against the wall. My skirt was now up around my waist, giving me the freedom to wrap my legs around his waist. “Unless you want me to take you right here, where is the bedroom?” He placed his mouth on mine.

  I leaned back, taking my mouth from his. “Up the stairs, to the right, end of hall.” Alex kept me in his arms, taking the stairs effortlessly and reaching the bedroom. He placed me gently on the bed, and he was hovering over top of me, and looking down at me. I started to crawl back, but I grabbed a handful of shirt pulling him with me. Alex followed me up the bed, but he stopped and with his hands, he grabbed my panties and yanked them off. With my skirt up around my waist, my lower half was now exposed and Alex took full advantage. He pushed me back onto the bed, lifted my thighs over his shoulders and placed lingering kisses on my inner thigh, working his way up to my folds. When Alex reached my center, he filled me with slow, hard strokes with his tongue. He soon increased the speed of his strokes, but added more pressure behind them. Before I knew what was happening, my hands gripped his hair, my stomach was tightening and my body started to convulse. I closed my eyes and tried to regain my center and reclaim my mind.