What You Do To Me (Unexpected Love)

by Izzy Cullen

  “Fine, but you saw the pictures too?”

  “Who in town didn’t?” I heard her hang up the phone. I wasn’t sure how I felt about my personal life and the girls being so exposed to the world.

  I made it home and pulled on one of Alex’s shirts. It had lost its smell, but there was something about wearing his shirt to bed. I picked up my phone and called him. “Hey,” I heard him say and it sounded like I woke him.

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called. I just got in and couldn’t sleep.” I could hear him moving around.

  “Don’t ever be sorry for calling me. I’m glad you did. I was worried I wouldn’t hear your voice tonight.”

  “Did you see the pictures?” I couldn’t help asking him, it just came out. The pictures were weighing on my mind.

  “Yeah, Sam brought the magazine in tonight, but I wasn’t surprised. Those pictures and others have been circling the on-line gossip sites for days now.” What, why didn’t I know this and why didn’t he say anything about them to me?

  “Why didn’t you tell me? A heads up would have been nice?” I was getting mad and I knew Alex could sense it in my voice.

  “It’s not that I didn’t want to, but I was worried you would be upset and pull away. I can’t have you pull away again. I need you and your girls. Abby, I haven’t been this happy possibly ever. You have no clue what you do to me.” I could hear it in his voice and I believed him or I wanted to believe him.

  “I’m not, it’s just a lot. I don’t mind me, but the girls. I don’t want the girls plastered all over these magazines. I don’t want people recognizing them as the daughters of the skank publicly making out with the rock star.” I was still tense and upset about the whole situation.

  “I’m sorry and I wish I could change this, but I can’t right now, but listen, you are not a skank. I had to stop looking at the pictures because they were turning me on.” I could hear him smiling and I was excited that the pictures turned him on, but I quickly cut him off. I couldn’t listen to this. With so much running through my head, I needed to think clearly.

  “I’ll let you sleep; I’ll see you in a few days.”

  “Abby, promise me you won’t pull away.” I could hear the desperation in his voice and I wasn’t sure I could give him the reassurance he needed.

  “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay, get some sleep.” I wanted to promise, but I couldn’t get the words to come out of my mouth. Alex managed a goodbye and we hung up.

  That night, I didn’t sleep very well. I kept having dreams that I was with the girls, people were crowding us, and I lost them in the crowd. When I would find one, I would lose another. When I awoke, I was covered in sweat and more tired than when I went to bed. I felt like the dreams were telling me something. If that became our life with Alex, the normal existence we were used to would never be again and I might lose them in some way. I didn’t think physically, but possibly emotionally, and I wasn’t sure I was even willing to chance it, not after the gains we had made since David’s death.

  I spent the day with the girls. They had plans to go shopping downstate with my mother tomorrow and I had an early flight to Portland in the morning. I kept the day as low key as I could. I didn’t want to run into anyone in town and be asked about Alex and I didn’t want anyone saying anything to the girls. When I dropped the girls off at my parents, my mom sent the girls in to watch a new video she picked up for them. She sent me out to the deck while she grabbed us some glasses of lemonade.

  “Something is on your mind, honey, so share.” My mom and I had never had the relationship where I told her my personal issues. It was always a relationship where we never scratched past the surface. That was what Lexi and Derek were for and I didn’t know if I wanted to open up to her about any of this with Alex. “Is it about the pictures? I knew you would be upset, but they aren’t that bad. If anything, it shows how much he cares for you.”

  I let out a sigh and took a sip of the lemonade, trying to figure out what to say in response. “Yes, they’re bothering me, but not as much as the pictures of the girls and the fact that I’ve allowed him into their lives and I have no clue where Alex stands with his feelings for me.”

  “Well, I haven’t met him yet, but I’ve talked to him a few times. Yes, more than once, so don’t look at me like that.” I was not just looking at her, but glaring at her. “He’s in love with you. He hasn’t said it, but that boy wants to do anything and everything to make you happy and he wants a chance to get to know the girls. I know you’re scared, but if you push him away because you’re scared, you might be pushing away the one you’re supposed to be with.”

  “Let’s say that we are meant to be together, how will it work? I can’t…I won’t move my girls. They have a sense of security here and after the year they have gone through, I can’t just pick them up and move them. Even if I did, what would I do? Could you see me as a stay at home mom, or a trophy wife who is left home to make everything perfect, while he works and brings home the money? It wouldn’t work.”

  “Have you told him this? Maybe he would want to move here.”

  I started to laugh. “Funny, could you see him moving to this town of twenty five hundred people in the winter? Could you see him moving here and being happy? Small town life is not for him. He’d be restless and I’d be to blame. I can’t force him into something like I did David, because that’s where we fell apart. I forced him into a family he wasn’t ready for or wanted, and I won’t do that to Alex.”

  “Baby, maybe this family is what Alex wants. You won’t know until you talk to him. Open up, you have to let him in completely.”

  “I don’t know if I can, because if he rejects me, it will destroy me. It’s better to end it now so there is less damage done.”

  “Talking to you is like talking to your father. You are both stubborn. I’m not saying anything more on this topic except that you should talk to the poor boy, Abrianna, he has a say in this too.”

  I sat on the porch and finished my lemonade. I listened to my mom’s plans with the girls and she asked if there was anything special, they needed for school. She loved clothes shopping, something I did not inherit from her. When I was done, I went to the couch and lay down with the girls, watching some of the movie. I held Jasmine and rubbed Josie’s feet. Looking at them and their life here, I knew I couldn’t take them away from my parents, Lexi and everything they had become so comfortable with. They needed their security. I needed them to have the security and deep down, I knew life with Alex wouldn’t allow them to have it. When it was bedtime, I tucked the girls into their beds and kissed them goodnight. Josie pulled me in and told me to tell Alex she missed him. I told her I would, but the statement made my heart ache a bit, knowing that after this trip, he probably wouldn’t be in their lives anymore.

  21.

  When I landed in Portland, it was in the early evening and after the second flight of four hours, I was tired. I was tired from all the conversations I was having in my head between Alex and myself. I was glad I would have a little time getting settled before seeing him. I knew Alex had a sound check and was sending a driver to pick me up. When I left the baggage claim area, I found the driver holding a sign with my name on it. He grabbed my bag and I followed him to an awaiting town car. When I climbed in, Alex was sitting in the backseat. Immediately, he scooped me up and placed me on his lap. Our mouths connected quickly and my hands were in his hair. I hadn’t realized how much I missed and wanted him until that very minute. It wasn’t until the driver got in that I realized how consumed I became in that moment. I broke from the kiss and slid off his lap. Alex let out a moan and I leaned in, giving him another kiss. He picked up my legs, draping them in his lap. Alex lightly ran his hands up and down my legs, sending goose bumps and shots of electricity through my body.

  “I thought you had sound check?”

  “I do, but I needed to see you. The driver is dropping me off at the Amphitheater after I get you to the hotel. I’ll be cutting it
close, but you’re worth it.” Alex winked at me.

  “You didn’t have to do that. I could have managed, but I’m glad I get to see you for a few minutes. What time should I be at the show?”

  “Not till later if you want, we picked up a local band here, so we have two opening bands tonight, but if you come sooner, I can spend a little more time with you before I go on. Sam will be hanging with you tonight, well, until I’m done anyway.” He brought his hands up behind my butt and pulled me up onto his lap again. His mouth devoured mine and I let out a moan. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” God, I missed him too, but I couldn’t say it, I couldn’t open up.

  We stopped in front of the hotel and I let out a moan. I didn’t want this to end. I didn’t want to leave him. “What time do you have to be there again?” I wanted him; I needed him, even though I knew it would make it harder in the end to say good-bye.

  “Thirty minutes and it’s a twenty minute drive out of the city.”

  I moaned into his mouth, “That leaves you ten. What are you going to do with that much time?”

  Alex let out a sound that sounded almost like a growl. He opened the door and threw me over his shoulder. “Make sure that the bags are not brought in until after I leave,” he said talking to the driver. “I’ll be back down in a few minutes. I need to get her settled.” At that, he smacked my butt and carried me into the lobby.

  “Alex, I can walk. People are staring at us, so put me down.” Reluctantly, he put me down and at the moment I looked in his eyes, I saw the desire there and it was building more intense. When we got on the elevator, he crushed me into a corner and kissed me hard and passionately. I had to grab him to hold my balance. When we reached our floor, Alex scooped me up and I wrapped my legs around him. He carried me down the hall to our hotel room door. The security guard at the door on our floor used his key card to let us in. I normally would have felt embarrassed, but at the time, I was grateful that we didn’t need to break our embrace. Alex took me to the bedroom and set me down on the side of the bed.

  “Okay music man, we don’t have much time, so take me hard and take me now,” I said, as I was stripping off my tank top and kicking off my sandals.

  “You are so fucking hot right now and when we have time to talk I want to know about that tattoo.” He reached over, unbuttoned my shorts, and slid them and my panties down to my ankles. I reached for his shirt, but before I could pull it off, Alex was on his knees and my leg was over his shoulder. He was licking and stroking me with his tongue. I was utterly consumed by him. “I almost forgot how good you taste.” At those words, I was sent into a tailspin. I had my hands clamped in Alex’s silky black hair and I could feel my orgasm ready to explode. All it took was Alex’s hard suck to send me over the edge. I was so consumed by the orgasm that I didn’t even feel Alex laid me back on the bed. He stood over me, pulling his shirt and jeans off. I wanted him inside me, so I reached out and grabbed at him to pull him inside. “Baby, this is going to be hard and fast, but tonight I am going to go slow, and I will love you like I need to.”

  I was still so consumed by my first orgasm, I couldn’t say anything, but as soon as he entered me, I let out a moan, a moan of pure desire. Alex wrapped my legs high around his waist and pushed in hard as he kissed and bit at my neck. I didn’t realized words were coming out of my mouth, but I was begging Alex to take me harder. I could feel myself on the brink again.

  “Open your eyes and look at me.” I heard Alex’s voice over my moans of desire. I opened my eyes and looked right into his. “Cum with me, I need this with you.” At those words, I came undone. Alex made a few more hard thrusts and then he stilled. He had a thin layer of sweat on him and a few beads of sweat on his neck by his hairline. I reached up and licked them off. Alex immediately crushed my mouth with his. I wrapped my arms around his neck and told him in my head that I loved him; I just couldn’t say the words aloud. I rolled Alex off me and I laid my head on his chest. “You better go. I’ll hurry up and get ready to meet you there.”

  “I think I’ll skip the show. I’m staying right here.”

  I picked my head up and kissed him on the nose.

  “Well, you’ll be here alone, because I’m heading to a concert and I’m hoping to make it with the lead singer of the headlining band tonight.”

  Alex flipped me on my back when I said that.

  “It must be your lucky night, because he has a thing for brunettes and girls with Celtic tattoos.” He leaned down licking and kissing my tattoo. I let out a moan and pushed him off me. Alex looked at me.

  “Go, seriously, everyone is going to be pissed at me if you are late. I’ll hurry and be there in an hour and a half.”

  “Fine,” Alex crawled up and gave me a quick kiss before getting dressed. Before he walked out of the room, he tossed a piece of candy at me. I started to laugh. A few minutes later, I heard my phone buzz from inside my purse.

  Get dressed, because they are bringing your bags up now. I don’t want anyone else seeing what is mine.

  A short second later, there was another buzz.

  I miss you and your taste already, now put some clothes on.

  I climbed out of bed and threw my clothes back on. I re-read the text from Alex and I was excited and upset at the same time. Knowing he wanted me and to possess me was thrilling, but it also scared me. David had possessed me and controlled me, which caused me to lose myself. I lost my hopes, my dreams and I would never go back there, because the person I had become with David could never be strong. She never would have stood up to anyone and it had taken close to a year to grow into the strength I finally had, and it is nowhere near, where it should be. Losing that now would be like dealing with another death.

  There was a gentle knock on the door. When I opened the door, there was a young boy in his early twenties standing there with my bags. I swung the door open and he walked in, looking at the floor and asking where he should put the bags. I told him to set them by the bedroom door and I would take care of them from there. The boy’s behavior seemed weird and at first, I thought little of it, but when he went to leave and I went to tip him, he still looked at the floor.

  “I’m sorry, but is there something wrong?” I couldn’t help but ask the question. I had never seen anyone who avoided eye contact so much in my life. Even when engaging in small conversation.

  “No ma’am, can I do anything else for you today?” He was still looking at the floor when he spoke to me, even though he was standing right in front of me.

  “Yes, could you at least look at me while you talk to me?” After I said that, I felt embarrassed, because he might just be shy and this was uncomfortable for him.

  Reluctantly, the boy looked up at me and made eye contact. Looking into his eyes, I didn’t feel like it was shyness keeping him from making eye contact. “I’m sorry ma’am, but I was told to drop the bags off, not to look at you and get out as quickly as possible.”

  “I see, who told you not to look at me? Is this some strange hotel policy?” If it was hotel policy, then I was going to say something on my way out to the concert. It was a bit uncomfortable.

  “No ma’am, Mr. Morgan told me to deliver the bags quickly and not to look at you when delivering them.” At the thought of Alex saying this to the boy, I was so pissed. I wanted to scream at him. What gave him the right to tell another human being that they weren’t allowed to look at me or anyone for that matter? I thanked the boy for bringing the bags and tipped him, even when he tried to refuse, because Alex already tipped him before he brought up the bags.

  I was about to pick up the phone to yell at Alex, but decided I would try to teach him a lesson instead. Instead of getting ready quickly, I took my time and made sure I looked perfect for what I had planned. After applying my lipstick and spraying on some perfume, I grabbed my clutch and left the room. On the elevator ride down to the car, I was second-guessing my attire, but then I remembered what Alex said to the bellboy and I was infuriated all over again.


  When the town car pulled up in front of the amphitheater, I sent Sam a text that I had arrived and would be on my way into the building. It didn’t take her long to meet me and when she did, she made sure to comment on my outfit.

  “Holy hell, are you trying to kill my brother? Alex is going to freak when he sees what you are wearing.” She quickly grabbed my hand and started to walk me inside. “I can’t wait to see his reaction.”

  “It’s like the outfit I wore to the club that night and he deserves this,” I responded to Sam.

  “Oh, honey, that skirt is a few inches shorter. Your legs look like they go on forever and the neck on your tank scoops pretty low. I love it. Damn, even I want to do you, and that is the problem he will have.” With Sam’s comment, I knew I made the right choice.

  Sam led me down a small hall and into a dressing room. Alex was there with Steve, talking heatedly about something. When I walked in, Alex stopped talking and his mouth shot open in shock. “What the hell are you wearing?” Yep, I got the reaction I wanted from him.

  “Last I checked, clothes, but after yours and Sam’s comment, I’m beginning to wonder if I came out in my pajamas.” I kept my face flat and emotionless along with my tone.

  “You are not wearing that.” Alex’s voice was a bit raised, and Steve and Sam managed to sneak out and shut the door.

  “Last time I checked, I could wear what I want when I want, but are you now telling me you decide that too? Kind of like you decide who is allowed to look at me when walking into a room.” I was pissed and Alex could tell it by my tone of voice. He immediately softened his look and gave me a look of apology. “I mean, you did tell the bellboy that he wasn’t allowed to look at me, didn’t you?”

  “Did he tell you that?” Alex seemed a bit irritated.

  “Yeah, he did after I tried talking to the poor boy and he wouldn’t look at me. Do you know how fucking hard it is to talk to someone who won’t look at you? If you don’t, I’ll let you find out, because I’m so pissed, I don’t even want to look at you right now.” Alex wasted no time and scooped me up, grabbing me, sat down in the chair and placed me on his lap.