What You Do To Me (Unexpected Love)

by Izzy Cullen

  “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have told him that. I just wasn’t sure if you would be dressed in time. I don’t know what I was thinking. You’re mine and I don’t want anyone looking at you. Fuck, I don’t want to let you out of this dressing room right now. You look so fucking delectable; I don’t want anyone around you. I don’t know how I’m going to concentrate on stage tonight, knowing you are here dressed in that outfit with all these guys around.” I was feeling so turned on by his comments, but also irritated by his behavior.

  “Look, I can’t and won’t be treated like someone’s personal property. If you can’t trust me to talk to another human being without thinking I’ll do something, this won’t work. I can’t be possessed and I won’t be, not ever again. I need to be me and you need to be okay with that.”

  “I trust you; it’s the men I don’t trust. You have no idea how desirable you are and I don’t think you understand the things you do to me.” He moved me on his lap so I could feel his hardness rub against my bottom. I was hot and wanting him even more. I leaned in and kissed him hard and passionately. Alex pulled away, “Did you wear that to prove a point?” I nodded my head yes, as I nibbled his neck. “Point taken, I’ll let anyone look or talk to you. Maybe next time, you can wear a snowsuit, since your point has now been made.”

  “Oh, it’s not completely made. I’m not wearing any underwear.”

  Alex let out a growl, “Fuck, you’re kidding me.” With that, his hand reached up my skirt and he discovered the lack of undergarments. “You definitely aren’t leaving this fucking dressing room.” Alex scooped me up and placed me on the couch next to the chair.

  “If I made my point, I can put some underwear on, since I brought some and they are in my clutch.”

  “It’s made, but I have something to do first.” Alex crushed my mouth with his and his hands made their way up my tank under the built in shelf. “Fuck, Abby, you are going to kill me. Where the fuck is your bra?”

  I started to laugh. “It has a built in bra. I didn’t need to wear two. God, think how much easier I’m making it on you right now.”

  Alex didn’t respond, but continued massaging my breasts with his hands. His mouth left mine and made its way to my breasts. As he was licking and sucking, there was a knock on the door. “Go away,” Alex shouted.

  “Sorry, but you have to be on stage in ten minutes,” Sam yelled from the other side of the door.

  Alex let out a grunt, “Fine, I’ll be right there.” He rested his head on my stomach and let out a sigh.

  “Well, I can’t let you go on stage like this, so if I were you, I’d take me hard and fast right here.” I was surprised that the statement came out of my mouth, but I needed it just as much as he did, and I couldn’t let him get up and walk out right now. I reached down, undid his button, and unzipped the fly on his jeans. Alex looked up wide-eyed and all I could give him was a smile. Alex pulled up my skirt up to my waist and pulled me so my legs and bottom were off the couch. Alex was on his knees and he had my legs wrapped around his waist. Alex took me hard and fast, causing us to climax together and quickly. When we were done, Alex kissed my forehead, lips and neck. “Abby,” Alex started to say, but there was another knock on the door. “Fuck, I have to go. The bathroom is right through there, clean up and put some underwear on and I’ll see you out there.” Alex stood up, helped me up and he pulled down my skirt before he pulled up his pants. “I hope I can remember my lines with your smell all over me.” He smacked my ass and told me to go clean up.

  I quickly cleaned up and pulled on my panties. I smiled, thinking that I did prove my point, but I wasn’t sure if Alex could accept me as a person and not his possession. I figured time would tell and as of now, I knew I needed more time with him. I wasn’t ready to let him go and as much as I couldn’t say it to him or anyone, I was in love with him.

  When I emerged from the bathroom, Sam was waiting for me in the dressing room. “I wasn’t sure where it was safe to sit.” I shot her a look. “Please, like I don’t know what a freshly fucked face looks like. I’ve been on more tours than you care to realize, but it looks good on you. I don’t want to hear about it. It is my brother you got the face from.” I couldn’t help but smile at her. Sam was so upfront and honest, and it didn’t seem to matter who she was talking to when giving her honesty. “Hurry up, they’re about to start.” She took my hand and pulled me to the door. When we reached the stage, the guys were just going on and Alex’s voice filled the air. I immediately felt warm inside. Something about his voice made me ache and long for him. I realized that is why I still couldn’t listen to his music, even now when we were together.

  After listening, swaying and at times singing to the music, the guys were coming off the stage, but Alex stayed on with his acoustic and stool. Steve grabbed Sam for a minute and Johnny came over to talk to me.

  “So, Alex still hasn’t gotten you out of his system.” I looked at Johnny confused and wasn’t sure what he meant. I heard Alex start the song Hey there Delilah, he still input my name and as I heard it, I smiled trying to look past Johnny. “Don’t think you’re special. You aren’t the first girl he has done this for; it’s his way to get in your pants.” I looked up at him speechless. “I suppose if I had someone who looked like you, I wouldn’t feel the need to get you out of my system that quickly either.” He reached over and grabbed me, pulling me to him. “Why don’t I just see what all the fuss is about?” I could feel his hands start at my mid-thigh, but he was moving it up my leg to my skirt. I tried pushing him away, but he wouldn’t budge.

  “Leave me the hell alone,” I spat out, but his only response was a chuckle in my ear. I lifted my knee up to smash his groin, but he easily blocked it with his hand.

  “Now, now, play nice. All this fighting is turning me on.” Johnny grabbed my hands, held them behind my back, and held them there with one hand. He used his other hand to pull my hair back and forced me to look up at him. “Don’t worry, when he’s done with you after the tour, give me a call. I wouldn’t mind a taste.” Just then, I heard Sam and Steve yell at him to step away. Steve immediately got into Johnny’s face and Sam wrapped an arm around me, asking if I was all right. Not long after, I heard Alex finish the song and walk over to the side of the stage where we were all in a stand off.

  Alex immediately looked at me and saw how upset I was, “What happened, what is going on?” I didn’t respond, but my eyes moved over to Johnny who was being talked to by Steve. Alex walked over and grabbed him by the throat, “What the fuck did you do?” Steve tried to step in between them, but Alex punched Johnny in the face and they toppled to the ground. It took Steve and several roadies to pull Alex off him. When they were separated, Alex was clenching his hands. “What the fuck are you doing, what is your goddamn problem?” He was seething while looking at Johnny.

  “Look. She asked for it. Just look at her and the way she is dressed. Do you think you’re the only one she’s doing? It’s obvious, she’s playing you and you’re falling for all the bullshit. You want to throw this all away to be with a chick like that?” Alex immediately went for Johnny again, but Steve and two other guys from the stage crew were holding him back.

  “You’re a fucking prick and we’re done. I can’t be in a band with you anymore. I can’t even look at you, because right now, all I want to do is kill you.” Hearing Alex say those words scared me and I knew I needed to go to him, and try to calm him.

  I walked over to Alex and I placed my hand on his arm. He flinched, but immediately relaxed when he looked and saw it was me. He pulled away from Steve and the two guys, wrapping me in a hug. He kissed the top of my head then placed both hands on the side of my face and brought my face up to look at him. “Are you okay, did he hurt you?”

  I shook my head no, and then I found my voice. “I’m fine, are you okay?”

  Before Alex could respond, Steve was at his side. “Look, we have to get back out there. We’ll deal with all this shit later. I sent Johnny to the dressing ro
om.” Alex shook his head no, without taking his eyes off me.

  “Go, you have a job to do and all these people came to hear you sing.” I was still shaken and upset, but there was no way, I could let Alex see how upset I was.

  “Fine, but Sam is taking you back to the hotel now and I’ll be there as soon as I get done here.” I nodded my head and agreed. Alex leaned in and kissed me, and then Sam wrapped me in a hug. As we walked out to the car, I realized event security was escorting us.

  When we were in the car, Sam grabbed my hand. “I’m so sorry. I never would have believed he would do that. He’s normally not like that, but he’s different right now. Johnny isn’t himself and for some reason, he hates Alex. It’s not an excuse, but I am sorry.”

  I squeezed Sam’s hand and forced a smile. “There is nothing for you to be sorry about. You have no control over other people’s actions. What happened is not your fault or anyone else, except Johnny.”

  “Abby,” Sam paused for a long second. “Please don’t let this come between you and Alex. He loves you and I know you love him, even though you both are too stubborn or stupid to say it to each other.” I looked down at my hands, because I couldn’t lie to her, but I couldn’t admit it to her either. “Look, there are only two more shows and then he is done with the tour. Wait for him.”

  “Sam, I will talk to him tonight. I promise you that I’ll talk to him, unlike the last time.” That is all I could say. I was not sure that Alex would even want to be with me. How would I know that he wasn’t going to pick someone he had been in a band with for 18 years to someone he had met less than eight weeks ago? In reality, that was what he should do. Plus, I didn’t know if I wanted to be plastered all over magazines as the woman who broke up the band. I stared off and absorbed myself into my thoughts. Sam allowed me that time, but left her hand in mine.

  When we arrived at the hotel, there were people out front, mainly women. I was sure they were waiting for the guys to arrive back from the concert. When Sam and I emerged from the town car, they looked disappointed. Sam and I walked into the hotel to the bank of elevators and headed to our floor. When we got in the elevator, Sam looked at me, “Look, I know you don’t want to talk. I get it that you aren’t a talker, but do a favor for me and try to be one for tonight. I don’t want to have to call Derek tomorrow and work out another intervention.” I flashed a smile at her. “Just promise that you’ll try.” Just then, the elevator doors opened.

  “I promise that I’ll try to be a talker, happy?” I gave her an overly exaggerated smile. She playfully shoved me.

  “Breakfast tomorrow?”

  “I guess it depends on what happens tonight.” I looked at her puzzled. “Well, I’m guessing if you talk, then you’ll want to spend the morning in bed and if you don’t, you’ll want to get on a plane first thing.” She paused. “Am I right?” I pulled my eyes away from her because I knew she was right. I hadn’t known Sam that long, but she already knew me pretty well. We said our goodbyes and headed off to our separate rooms.

  I walked into the room, and by the door, I stripped off my clothing. I walked into the bedroom and jumped in the shower. I wanted to wash away the events of the night and I hoped it would clear my head in the process. I was in there for a while letting the water beat on me. I leaned up against the wall, thinking of all the different ways that the conversation with Alex could take. I was scared of losing him, but scared of him staying and destroying what he worked so hard for and being hated by his fans and his band members.

  I was lost in thought and didn’t hear the shower door open, but I jumped when I felt Alex’s arms wrap around me. I jumped and tried to pull away. “Please, just let me hold you for a second, don’t pull away.” Alex’s voice was soft and his arms felt so comforting around me. I sank back into him. He kissed the top of my head. I spun turning to face him. Alex kept his arms around me, I laid my head on his chest, and Alex rested his chin on my head. He started to rock with me in his arms; it felt so soothing that I didn’t want the feeling to end.

  I finally looked up at Alex and asked him what time it was. I was shocked when he responded and I realized I had been in the shower lost in my thoughts for over an hour. Stepping away, I reached for my shampoo and decided to wrap up the shower so the fate of this relationship could be decided. We needed to talk about tonight, but I wasn’t sure how to bring it up. Actually, I was afraid to bring it up.

  Alex grabbed the shampoo before I could and squeezed it into his hand. Without saying anything, he turned me so that my back was to his front. His hands were in my hair massaging my scalp and lathering up my hair. He spoke softly. “I’m sorry, it shouldn’t have happened, please forgive me.” My eyes shot open and I started to turn to face him, but he wouldn’t let me. He continued washing my hair.

  “You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m sorry, I’m sorry you had to defend me.”

  This time, Alex spun me around and had me face him. “Close your eyes.” He leaned my head back and started to wash the shampoo out. His hands ran down my hair, combing it out with his fingers. When he was done, he started to speak again. “I’m trying to stay calm. I’m still so pissed off right now.” I looked down, knowing he was pissed at me and his apology a minute ago was his opening for the reality of him ending everything with me. I could feel my heart breaking and I was glad that the wetness of the shower would hide the tears that were starting to overflow my eyelids. I couldn’t speak and I knew I couldn’t look at him, so I turned away, thinking it best to get out of the shower. When I felt his hand on my arm, I still couldn’t look at him. “Abby, I wanted to kill him, I still do.” My eyes shot up to meet his. I could see the pain in his eyes and I felt responsible for it being there. If I hadn’t tried to make a point by wearing what I wore or if I just stayed home, none of it would have happened. “Whatever you are thinking, it isn’t your fault. Johnny and I had trouble before the start of this tour.”

  “I feel like it was my fault. You never would have punched him or fought with him if it wasn’t for me.”

  “No, I would have eventually punched him; it was just a matter of time.” Alex paused for a second. “He’s using again. He promised Steve and me that he would clean up before the tour and I thought maybe he would, but I noticed the behavior changes after Chicago.” Alex wrapped me in a hug again. “When you walked in, Steve and I were talking about Johnny and his using. Steve wanted to finish the next few days of the tour and I wanted to cancel it. We aren’t the same group anymore. It just isn’t the same as it used to be.”

  “It isn’t the same as it used to be or you and the guys aren’t the same as you used to be?”

  Alex kissed the top of my head. “We aren’t the same anymore. We all want different things in life and this tour brought a lot of that out. Johnny is still how he was when we started eighteen years ago. The drinking, the girls and the drugs, something I want nothing to do with anymore. Steve and I are done with the touring. He realized that he is missing so much of his kids’ lives and he wants a chance to be a part of their memories before they grow up and resent him.”

  I wanted to ask Alex what he wanted, but I was scared, scared to hear his response and scared his answer wouldn’t have anything to do with me. Instead, I suggested we get out of the shower. Alex agreed and he turned the knobs off. We climbed out and he wrapped me in a towel. As he dried himself off, I wrapped another towel around my hair, and then went to the bedroom where my bag was with all my stuff. I quickly dried off and threw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Alex entered the room with a towel around his waist. I immediately inhaled a deep breath, seeing how beautiful he looked, but I turned away, because I couldn’t allow things to get physical with so much left to be discussed.

  “I’ll be right back; I need to dry my hair a bit.” I grabbed my hairbrush and walked back towards the bathroom.

  As I was walking past Alex, he snagged me by the waist. “Are you sure you’re okay?” I couldn’t respond, so I just nodded my head yes. I walked in
to the bathroom, taking my hair out of the towel and turning on the blow dryer. I didn’t fully blow dry my hair, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave the bathroom right away either. I had so much I wanted to say, but I didn’t know if I could say any of it to Alex.

  When I finally managed to go back into the bedroom, I found Alex sitting on the bed with his elbows on his knees and his head down. He looked so sad and I wanted to make it better, but I didn’t know how. I walked up to him and Alex immediately sat up, wrapping him hands around my waist and placing his head against my stomach. One of my hands immediately went into his hair, while the other rested on his back. I came out with the intention of talking, but standing there like that, I wanted to stop time. I didn’t want to move so I could stay in the moment forever.

  Alex was the first to break from the embrace. He stood, scooping me up and placing me on the bed, so I was lying next to him. He rested his head on his hand, which was propped by his elbow. Alex brought his other hand up to brush my hair away from my face. I knew I needed to say something and was hoping I could get it all out. “Alex, I get that you are pissed and I’m so sorry tonight happened the way it did, but you can’t cut Johnny out of your life. He is clearly hurting.” I paused a second to see if Alex was going to stop me or interrupt, but he remained quiet with his eyes fixed on mine. “The fact that you and Steve have grown up or changed and he has remained the same probably scares him. This life you have or he has is all he’s known for half his life and it’s getting taken away without a real say.” Alex opened his mouth to say something, “Just a second,” I held up my finger, because I needed to finish. I adjusted so now I was sitting up on my elbows. “He has no say, because you two have moved on and he is left to try to form a life outside of the band. He’s not used to that. I’m sure in the past when you were not touring, you were working on new material or recording; you have always been a group. Now, with Steve wanting to be with his family and you wanting to take a break, the unknown probably scares him.” I flopped back down so he knew I was finished.