Latent Memories

by Charlotte Mills

  “Really? You’ve finally learned how to relax. I was beginning to think you didn’t know what a bath tub was for,” she said with a little too much pleasure.

  “Funny,” I said as I offered Murphy another scratching.

  “I have to say I’m still a little surprised by your appreciation of foreign films.”

  I grinned wildly, knowing how much it freaked her out. Not surprising considering my previous lack of interest in films and books, largely due to my excessive working hours. “Have you heard of The Man Whose Mind Exploded?” I asked after taking another drink.

  Jamie shook her head as she finished a mouthful. “The title sounds a bit ominous. Is it foreign?”

  I smiled, knowing she wasn’t far from the truth. “No. It’s English. I watched it a couple of months ago. It’s a documentary about a man that lived in Brighton called Drako Zarhazar who suffered brain damage, preventing him from creating new memories. He could remember things from his life before, but since then every day is like a new start. He lived in the now as he says. His flat is crammed full with all these images, thoughts, ideas all over the walls, hanging from the ceilings.”

  “Shit! So he’s aware of his condition?”

  “Oh yeah. He jokes about being on his fifth life after having two almost-fatal car crashes and trying to commit suicide. He’s been in a coma two or three times,” I said, trying to recall the details.

  “Fuck! He would not be my designated driver,” she said before visibly regretting her words.

  I bit my lip to prevent me smiling at her embarrassment.

  “Sorry, that sounded bad, didn’t it?”

  “He was a well-known character in Brighton. In his sixties at least, big bald guy with loads of facial piercings. He had a crazy life. As a youngster he was a dancer in Paris and ended up modelling for Salvador Dali … A real character.”

  “He sounds it.”

  “It’s a strange film, but I liked it because it’s uplifting. He seems mostly happy and accepting of his condition.”

  “And you?” Jamie asked.

  “Uh yeah, I think so. It’s an important chapter in my life and not one I’m likely to forget, but I’m not going to let it define the rest of my life.”

  “That’s very positive.”

  “I’m not sure I’d have said the same thing a year ago. I feel a lot more in control now being back at work, doing something.” I wanted to include meeting up with Jamie, but I didn’t want to put pressure on her.

  We were quiet for a few moments. I was just about to tell her about the weird déjà vu feeling I’d had earlier when one of my wellies got stuck, but before I could put it all into words, Jamie broke the silence.

  “I found out today that my boss is leaving,” she said sadly.

  “Oh, how did you–?”

  Jamie cut me off before I could finish my question. “A colleague emailed me after he announced it … He’s retiring.” Her face held a dejected expression as she repositioned her glass centrally on the beer mat in front of her several times.

  “I’m sorry. I take it you don’t want him to go,” I said, reading her face.

  She took a deep breath before continuing. “Not really. He’s a great boss with lots of exuberance. He knows how to get the best out of people.”

  Having been a boss at one point, I wondered what people thought of me and James and how we handled people. I’m not sure we’d have had the same feedback. “Are they promoting someone or bringing in new blood?”

  “I don’t think there’s anyone in the team to do it, so I guess they’ll advertise.”

  I thought about telling her about the mobile phone James had given me. I hadn’t had time to charge it yet as I’d misplaced it in all the excitement of living in two places. I wanted to wait till I’d had a chance to look at it myself. I was hoping it might contain a few texts or calls, maybe even a few notes, which I had a habit of making on the fly.

  Under the glow of the beer garden lights, we had a second round of gin and tonics during which we mostly talked about the unappealing habits Murphy had developed over her life so far. With a chill forming in the cool April air, we decided to call it a night. I don’t know how it compared to our first date in York, but I certainly enjoyed it; getting to know all the subtle nuances of Jamie’s expressions and personality was fast becoming my new hobby.

  Chapter 16

  I walked into the kitchen to the sound of Jamie voicing her frustration at trying to put her watch on her sprained wrist. We were well into our second week of domesticity and although I’d not lived with anyone since university, I was actually enjoying myself. Jamie had a way of starting up the strangest of conversations, ranging from why haven’t they invented plastic food packaging that opens on the first pull, to who you would want with you if you had to survive on a dessert island, obviously discounting professionals like Bear Grylls. Apparently, I was in Jamie’s team due to my abnormal knowledge of the moisture content of wood and my chimpy feet, neither of which I though was a good reason compared to my ecological and practical background, but what do I know?

  Initially, we’d decided I’d only stay over two or three nights a week, but as we got more comfortable with each other, I began staying over part or all of the weekends, too. This was of course, as I told myself, just to make sure that Jamie had her required five a day, rather than to fulfil any need I was developing.

  Placing my cup in the sink, I offered my assistance. On closer inspection, I could see that she had rested the watch upside down on the worktop, but her swollen fingers were still unable to work the buckle into place.

  “Here, let me help you.”

  “Thank you.”

  “How’s your sprained wrist doing?” I asked, eying the tight bandage still covering her wrist.

  “It’s still pretty painful. I’m working from home the rest of the week. I’ve got some reports I need to go over and amend. I can do that from home.”

  “Maybe you should go back to the doctors if it’s no better in a few days.”

  “Maybe. I’ll see.”

  With the watch firmly secured, I decided it was time to let her in on my latest memory revelations.

  “I remembered something the other day.”

  Her eyes met mine. A look of surprise soon turned into a warm, hopeful smile, egging me on.

  I continued, “At work, I was sat in the back of the trailer while we moved some materials across a site. When I tried to get out, one my wellies got wedged between some stakes we’d loaded up earlier. It pulled clean off my foot. When I looked back at it, it triggered something. I remembered leaving my wellington boot in a muddy bog when I was surveying I think. Was that when I walked back to camp with a soggy foot? I asked, recalling our conversation that we’d noted in my diary a few weeks ago.

  The emotion on her face brought tears to my eyes and I reached up to push stray hairs behind her ear as I continued.

  “You had short hair and a red cap on.”

  A tear slipped down her face as she moved closer; her hands loosely gripped my waist as she buried her face in my shoulder.

  “That’s us. That’s our starting point.” Her words were muffled as she pulled me closer, hugging me with her upper arms avoiding her wrists. “That’s amazing. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  The fruity scent from her freshly washed hair filled my nostrils as I spoke. “I wanted to try and put it into context first. It was in York wasn’t it? You were waiting for me.” I pulled back to see her face.

  “Yeah, it was right at the start of the Bonnington Hall revamp. I didn’t want to start off on the wrong foot.”

  I continued, constructing a framework around the event, “That was our first date. It rained?”

  Jamie nodded before filling in the rest of the night. “We got soaked on the way back. You ordered me a taxi to take me home from your hotel.”

  “You stayed over?” I asked, confused.

  Wide eyes looked back at me. “Rude! What do you take me for?” H
er tone was playful as she ran a hand through my unruly hair. A familiar, wide grin appeared. “We didn’t kiss till the third date and waited till the fourth for anything else, thank you very much.”

  “Glad to hear it.”

  “What are you working on today?” Jamie asked as I reached for my lunchbox.

  “We’re starting on the redesign of North Cliff Park.”

  I saw a nod of recognition. I figured she was familiar with the project.

  “Have a good day.”

  “You too, and take it easy,” I said pointedly.

  “Oh, by the way, I’ve got that work do on Friday. Will you be around to help me get ready?”

  “Your boss’s leaving do?” I confirmed.

  “Yep.”

  “Any news on his replacement yet?”

  “No. Is that a yes?”

  “Of course. Cinderella will go to the ball.”

  Chapter 17

  The last day of Jamie’s sick leave had arrived. After a lazy morning, she decided to go in for a few hours to try and combat the backlog of paperwork that had no doubt been deposited on her desk since her departure nearly two weeks ago. With some time to myself, I took Murphy for a leisurely run on the beach before taking a detour to my place to search for the mobile phone James had given me weeks ago. With all the excitement of spending so much time with Jamie, it had become less and less important.

  Jamie was already back when I returned to the beach house. Jogging up the stairs, I discretely threw the phone on my bed before searching out Jamie in her room. I’m not sure why I felt the need to hide it. I guess I was still worried what it might contain. I didn’t want to disrupt the relationship that was redeveloping between us.

  I knocked lightly before entering.

  “Hey, is this what you’re wearing?” I asked, admiring the black dress hanging from the door of the wardrobe.

  “Yeah. What do you think?”

  Jamie wore her grey, three-quarter-length, cotton dressing gown as she brushed and styled her hair. “It’s beautiful. Are you getting ready now?”

  “Yeah, I said I’d meet a few people at Franco’s for a drink before we go to the restaurant. Been jogging?”

  I recognised Franco’s as the regular haunt of her office team. “I have. I had to stop by home and pick up a few things. So how can I help?” I said, showing my empty hands like the magician Paul Daniels.

  “Can you – and I’m only asking because you’ve become rather good at it over the last few weeks …”

  I raised my eyebrows expectantly as she moved towards me until she surreptitiously pushed a makeup bag against my belly.

  “I see you’ve come to admire my skills in the makeup department.”

  “Admire is a strong word, but I’m definitely appreciative if that helps.”

  I grinned at our continued repartee. Taking her hand, I led her to the bathroom. “Careful. I’m in a position of power right now … unless want to look like Aunt Sally when you go out tonight.”

  “Umm, it is tempting,” Jamie responded as she sat on the edge of the bath tub, taking her position like she had several times before. “She does have a remarkably rosy cheeked look, but I think I’ll pass if that’s okay.”

  “Your loss,” I said as I selected her customary shade of eyeshadow. “The usual?” I asked as if she were a regular in my beauty parlour, as I loaded up the small sponge on a stick. I looked up to meet her gaze. I could feel the wobbles begin to take over at being intimate with Jamie. I’d been the model citizen around her when she needed help with her clothing, looking away to preserve her dignity, but there was no escape from this task. Her eyes were a vibrant and brilliant blue as they reflected the light in the bathroom. It was difficult to hold their scrutiny. My eyes travelled down her face to her full lips, which parted slightly as if she was about to speak before stretching into a wide smile, a beautiful smile with lips that I’d probably kissed countless times and right now I was very much considering kissing them again.

  I felt a hand on my thigh.

  “Are you okay?” Jamie’s voice echoed in my ears, bringing me to the surface.

  “Yeah. Fine.” I swallowed down my feelings as I focused my attention on applying a small amount of eye shadow to her eyelids before adding mascara and a muted red lipstick. Makeup completed and inspected, we moved back to the bedroom. I knew what was next. I’d had the pleasure of peeking down her dressing gown in the bathroom. She only wore underwear beneath it. I quickly made an excuse to take my shoes off in my room while Jamie attempted to put on her dress.

  “Don’t go away. I need you to zip me up,” Jamie called as I stood in my room staring at the walls.

  “No problem. Just shout when you’re ready.”

  “Ready!”

  Jamie had her back to me as I walked in. She held her hair away from the zipper. Through the gaping slit I could see the top of her underwear and thin strap of her bra, both of which were black, matching her dress and creating a stark contrast to her creamy skin. With a slight tremble in my hand, I zipped up the dress. Turning to face me, she released her hair, letting it fall around her shoulders. We were eye level, which confused me a little until I saw the shoes on her feet.

  “How do I look?”

  I stepped back as if admiring my work. “Beautiful … You scrub up well.”

  Her orange, plastered wrist contrasted well against her black dress. It would still be a couple of weeks before that came off, thankfully, giving me a little more time with her.

  “Uh, could you fasten my shoes?”

  “Sure.” My eyes travelled down her slim legs to the shoes she had already slipped on her stockinged feet. They were t-strap in style with the small, thin, black strap and corresponding buckle on the outside edge. They looked elegant against her slender ankles. The height of the heels alone would have brought me out in a cold sweat if I had to wear them. I knelt down at her feet. Lifting one shoe at a time to my thigh, I caught sight of the slit up the side of her dress exposing her slim legs. I could feel the warmth of her skin through her thin stockings as I fumbled with the strap.

  “Rob?”

  “Umm?” I replied. With the first shoe secured, I looked up, meeting her eyes.

  “I just wanted to thank you for helping me over the last few weeks. I really appreciate it.”

  “No problem … I’ve enjoyed it.”

  I saw a grin appear on her face before I switched feet.

  “I know Murphy has, too.” I smiled to myself, recalling Murphy’s struggle to choose who was the weakest out of us when it came to sharing food. She was definitely turning into a child with two mummies.

  After Jamie’s departure, I grabbed my old phone and plugged it in; it was still totally dead with just a battery symbol flashing on the screen. I’d need to leave it for a while before I could look through any information that was still on it. I decided to take a hot bath to occupy myself and try and take my mind off how good Jamie looked earlier. That in itself was a tall order, as I recalled the look in her eye as she left. I was definitely beginning to enjoy how nervous she made me feel. I loved her confidence and even more so when it occasionally stuttered.

  ***

  I heard the front door slam, waking me from my slumber. I’d fallen asleep reading in bed. The mattress wobbled a little as Murphy jumped off to investigate the noise. I had no idea what time it was.

  “Robbie! Robbie, are you awake?”

  Jamie was barely whispering as she stumbled up the stairs. Hearing her get closer, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and headed for the open doorway of my room.

  “Hey, you,” Jamie slurred as she caught sight of me.

  “You sound like you had a good time,” I said, trying to contain my laugh. I frowned as I spotted her shoeless feet. “Where are your shoes?”

  “They’re … umm …” She looked down at her own feet. “Er … I’m not …” She rubbed her mouth with her hand. I thought for a moment she was going to be sick. My eyes scanned the surr
oundings for a possible vessel and a slight panic swept over me when there was nothing suitable.

  “Come on, let’s get you to bed. I’ll look for them later.”

  “How come you’re not naked? You always used to be naked. You’re a secret naturist. Right?”

  “Is that right?” I asked, half-laughing as she staggered ahead of me into her room.

  “Yep.”

  I pointed her in the direction of her bed. “Would you like a hand with your dress?”

  Her face was slightly flushed as she almost fell on the bed.

  “I believe I may need your assistance.” Her voice was loud and slurred.

  “Okay. Stay there. I’m going to get you a glass of water.” Spotting a bin in the corner of the room, I placed it at her side. “Just in case.”

  “You know when the room spins?” Jamie asked, stopping me in my tracks.

  I turned to face her as she continued.

  “Do you think it spins the same way or the opposite way in Australia?”

  I smiled at her question, but the thing is I didn’t have to even consider my answer. “Opposite obviously.” I was starting to integrate into her way of thinking.

  “Yes.” She threw her hand in the air. “Exactly what I thought.”

  Returning with a bottle of water in hand, Jamie was attempting to tackle the zip on her own.

  “Whoa! Stop that, you nutter. You’ll hurt your wrist. I’ll do it.” Grabbing the dressing gown from the chair in the corner of her room, I handed it to her. “Hold this.” Stepping behind her, I unzipped her dress. As soon as it was released, she pulled it over her arms, letting it drop to the floor at her feet, leaving me with a rear view of her tight figure, which only got worse – or better – as she turned around to face me.

  “Let’s get you into bed,” I stupidly said next.

  Her raised eyebrows said it all, followed by a wide grin.

  “You know what I mean,” I said firmly, stamping down my rising libido.