Missing Beats

by K. L. Shandwick

  “Well, if I’d known asking to kiss you would make you vomit, I’d have kept that question to myself,” he joked, trying to make me feel better as he rubbed my back. Moving to the sink, he grabbed my toothbrush, put paste on it and handed it to me. I stood up and turned to face him. He chuckled while he looked at me, swiped his thumbs above my cheekbones and said, “Look at you. You’ve got mascara down to your knees, Josephine Carmichael.” He said it like I was a child. He also appeared to stay steady on his feet while he tended to me. I was in awe of that with the amount of alcohol he’d put away during the day.

  “Maybe we should get you to bed,” he stated, his concerned eyes still inspecting me as he continued to clean my face. “And I think I should stay with you. We don’t want you choking on your own vomit.” I vaguely remember protesting but then I must have passed out.

  Chapter 7

  Modesty

  Uncoordinated and slow, I rolled onto my side. I only managed to get so far when I was stopped by the weight of a strong arm over my waist and froze. My naked waist. Sliding my hand up to my breasts I cringed. A horrible feeling formed in the pit of my stomach when I realized they were exposed. Racking my fuzzy brain, I vaguely remembered some of what happened from the night before. Lying quietly, my heart pounded while I had a silent freak out about the blank spaces in my memory, and the hot rock star sleeping and curved alongside me in my bed. When I moved my legs another shockwave hit me. It was worse than I thought because I was almost totally naked except for the small, blue satin thong I was wearing.

  Reaching behind me I touched his thick, hard penis and pulled my hand away like I’d been scalded. Confused and mortified, I lay paralyzed on my bed wondering what the hell had gone on between us. Nothing clicked into place before Kane stirred as he changed position and cleared his throat.

  “We didn’t fuck, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he said flatly, huffing out a long sigh.

  The tension in my body began to dissolve and I exhaled heavily, until I remembered my state of undress.

  “Thank, God. I feel like I’ve been in a train wreck this morning,” I said, feeling relieved. I turned to look at him.

  “Then you feel how you look,” he muttered, chuckling as he dug in his heels and sat up on the bed with no finesse whatsoever. “Amazing rack, Jo,” he commented, with a lingering look at my body. My hands immediately grabbed my breasts as I remembered I hadn’t worn a bra the day before. The top I had on had a low back so I’d gone without.

  “Did you take my clothes off?” I asked in a high pitched voice.

  “Had to, baby, you’d puked all down the front of your T-shirt…and mine.”

  “Yours?” The vague memory came back about barfing into the toilet, but Kane had been behind me.

  “Yeah, right after you brushed your teeth you turned to face me, puked all over the two of us and passed out.”

  “Oh my God, I’m sorry,” I groaned, mortified.

  “Don’t be. It’s a normal day at the office for me. With the way the guys in the band party there’s always some chick that can’t hold their liquor.”

  Wriggling over to the edge of the bed, my eyes roamed the room for something to cover my modesty. I had to make do with a cushion as it was the only thing I was able to reach at the end of my bed. As I stood I hid my ass with it because the string of my thong was the only thing between Kane’s eyes and my butthole.

  “Jesus, girl, I don’t know why you’re bothering with that. I’ve committed your ass to memory. It’s a fucking peach,” he said, with a naughty laugh. “I fell asleep a happy man last night.”

  “Really, Kane?” I asked indignantly.

  “Okay, I’m sorry. I take full responsibility for you getting shit-faced and puking all over me last night. But I did get to strip you almost naked and lie beside that hot, tight body all night. The only downside was the raging boner that almost made my nuts explode because I couldn’t touch you,” he stated as his eyes slowly raked appreciatively up and down my body. I turned to face him, covering up as much as I could with the cushion.

  “I’m going to have a shower,” I declared as I began to walk backward toward my bathroom.

  “Good idea, am I invited?” He was relentless. I stared at him like he had sprouted a horn on his head but kept stepping in the direction of the bathroom while Kane lay in bed laughing heartily at my effort to leave the room.

  Once I had made it in there it never occurred to me that there was no lock on the bathroom door and five minutes into my shower, Kane wandered in scrubbing the scruff on his chin and stood on the other side of the glass partition to urinate in the toilet. I’d been washing my hair and was rinsing it when I opened my eyes and saw him standing, not three feet away, watching me shower as he peed.

  “Get the fuck out,” I spat as I curled up trying to hide my modesty.

  “What? You’re only naked, Jo. I had to pee. My cock was aching and I was busting. Do you know how hard it is to pee with a boner?”

  “Couldn’t you have gone to the one down the hall?”

  “For Christ’s sake, baby, it’s not like I haven’t seen you naked already,” he reasoned as he looked at me like I was the one with the problem.

  Turning the faucet off roughly, I grabbed the white towel on the peg outside the cubicle and wrapped it around me. “You are not the guy I used to know, Kane Exeter. He’d never have wanted to embarrass me the way you are doing right now.”

  “What the fuck is there to be embarrassed about? You took a shower and I had to whizz. You wouldn’t have wanted me to end up with an infection from holding it too long, would you? And to be honest, Jo, why would I go all the way down the hall when I can just come in here?” he asked impatiently.

  “You have been mind-fucking me since yesterday, Kane, I don’t appreciate it.”

  “Me neither, baby, but I’ve been trying to play by your rules. All I wanted was to come and find my friend, but it’s kinda hard not to notice how hot you’ve turned out. I’m a red-blooded male with a high sex drive that hasn’t been laid for three days.” He stepped past me into the shower and turned it on. Grabbing my body wash he began stroking the soapy suds all over his body. I stood there, my mouth gaping open, feasting my eyes on his beautiful toned body.

  He hasn’t been laid for three days? “Well I haven’t been laid for almost a week and I’m not behaving the way you are.” As soon as I said that aloud I felt shocked at myself.

  Stopping what he was doing, Kane turned to look at me. “Damn. These days my ball bag would burst if I went that long.” I couldn’t help smiling at his unexpected response. “Oh, you think that’s funny, huh?” he said, snaking around the glass cubicle and hauling me back in beside him, towel and all. Seconds later my back hit the cold tiles on the wall.

  I screeched loudly, nudging forward as he ducked me under the warm water. He pushed me back against the wall and caged me in with his strong arms. The thrill of his grip and the way he had handled me was exhilarating. I’d never felt so scared and excited at the same time. The reality of us standing there, him naked and me wrapped in a wet towel, but together, made my heart thud erratically in anticipation. If any other man had treated me like that, I’d have hated it. But I sensed that even with all those years missing between us, Kane would never do anything to me that I didn’t want. What the hell did I want?

  “Tell me you don’t want me to kiss you and I’ll leave you alone, Jo. Better make it quick. We have a window of opportunity to do this. What’s it gonna to be…yay or nay?”

  The course of any future relationship as friends hung in the balance. I wasn’t sure what I wanted. A platonic friendship that would last however long, depending on Kane’s commitment, or stepping out of that childhood relationship and demanding more from a new one?

  Glancing up at him I stuck with my policy of being honest. I couldn’t lie and tell him I didn’t want him to kiss me, because since the first time he’d mentioned it I had thought of noth
ing else.

  Bending his head close to my ear as the water splashed around us, he softly whispered, “Your silence tells me you can’t lie. You want this as much as I do.” Softly, he pressed his lips to the side of my cheek. “Since the moment I saw your picture this is all I’ve wanted to do.” His mouth leisurely paced its way down my neck, peppering small kisses from below my ear to my shoulder and back again. A shiver ran down my spine and pulled at my core while tiny explosions of ecstasy detonated at every erogenous zone in my whole body. I had never felt anything remotely close to the chemistry I felt with him and his mouth had yet to touch mine. “You taste incredible just like I knew you would,” he husked roughly, as he continued to lavish me with unhurried kisses. His heavy breath wafted with desire along my collarbone and back up to my neck. My body hummed, sagging further against the wall as my resistance slid from every pore.

  “Kiss me,” I whispered desperately, while my hands crept up his arms and tangled in his thick, wet hair, the smell of my body wash products familiar and uplifting. I wasn’t strong enough to hold back from what I had been resisting.

  Pulling his head back to look at me, he gave me his slow sexy grin. I melted right there in the shower. “With pleasure. Even though I didn’t know it, I think I’ve waited half my life to do this,” he whispered in a seductive voice that was almost lost with the noise of the shower. Piercing blue eyes centered on my lips, his thumb grazed them while he licked his own. I couldn’t wait another second. I leaned in and pressed mine to his and sighed involuntarily with relief. Kane chuckled against my mouth before his tongue became more demanding and he swiped it, pressing along my closed lips, parting them.

  I moaned with pleasure and sagged even further until his arm pulled me closer and a hand clasped loosely around my throat in a sensual sweep that sent my desire soaring to a new level. Within seconds our bodies were entangled and our kiss was frantic. Almost like we were making up for all the lost time we’d missed with each other, but in a new and exciting way. Kane reached between us and pulled my towel away, covering my naked body with his. The sensation of his hard masculine presence almost made me wild with desire to have more of him.

  “Tell me to stop,” he mumbled as he cupped my breast and took my beaded nipple into his mouth, sucking hard.

  “I…I can’t,” I panted breathlessly from the passion in his grip and the way he seemed to be devouring my skin, pinching and nibbling his way over my shoulders and breasts.

  “Then I won’t, but you need to be sure you want this,” he warned.

  “I do, please—” I never got to finish my sentence as he scooped me up and wrapped my legs around his waist. Stepping out of the shower he carried me back to my bedroom, dripping wet. I felt his hard length, and something metal, brush against me as he carried me. Reaching the bed, he threw me unceremoniously onto it and pried my knees roughly apart.

  “I need to taste you, Jo, I just need to do this, babe,” he mumbled as he kissed his way slowly from my calf to my knee, all the way up to my pussy. The tension in his shoulders made his arms vibrate a little with every peck of his mouth on my skin. I anticipated a soft, gentle lick for that first stroke like I was used to when a man went down on me, but with Kane, his technique was powerful and devouring in every sense of the word. His mouth covered as much of my pussy as he could before his tongue dove deep into my entrance while he sucked hard.

  The ecstasy I derived from that one sudden action almost made me come. Once he’d fed his initial desire, his tongue circled slowly and then lashed at speed against my clit before he slid his tongue gently up the length of my seam. Every time I thought I could handle what he was doing he switched it up making me moan like I’d never done before. The level of pleasure he made me feel was something I’d never felt before. I’d only had two partners in the past before Elliott, but none of them had ever played my body like a sexual instrument with the expertize that Kane did.

  “I’ve never wanted to fuck anyone as much as I want you, Jo. Do you have condoms here?”

  “In the box in the drawer,” I answered in a voice laced with the same desperation and urgency that matched his.

  Stopping briefly to grab one from the box, he ripped it open with his teeth and rolled it down his thick, veiny, length and I balked at the size of it. He was bigger than any man I’d previously been with and when I realized he had an apa, and two small round piercings on his skin on either side of his cock, I almost freaked out. I had missed that when he’d dropped his towel before. When he saw the shocked look on my face he laughed out loud. “Trust me, it’s amazing, you’ll love it.”

  Reaching down, he grabbed my legs under the knee and pulled me toward the edge of the bed. We were both still damp from the shower and the tacky feeling between us as his skin stuck to mine added to the whole experience. Suddenly, he pushed my legs straight and flexed my hips up toward his face where his mouth connected with my wet heat. That one move stole my breath. Lavishing his tongue in my entrance again he let out a long moan of appreciation before he spread my legs wide and slid the tip of his cock from my clit all the way down to my entrance. His fingers skimmed down my inner lips and sunk deep inside. “Fuck, you’re dripping wet, babe. You ready for me?” he asked, with a glance that turned into a locked stare. The heat in his eyes almost ended me.

  Taking me in one long glide made me gasp for air. Kane grunted and stilled for a second while I adjusted to his size. He was huge and I was extremely wet. After he pulled back and sunk deep again I was ready for more. Just as well really, because he rode me hard for around ten seconds before he slowed his pace. He was right about the piercings. I loved them. No man had ever taken me in the way Kane did. I loved the way he commanded my body with such demanding control. He left me speechless and breathless.

  Kane smiled and there was something about it that made my heart stutter sluggishly in my chest. He was heartbreakingly stunning. His eyes half closed with lust as his hands wandered reverently up the sides of my ribcage and over my breasts. I squirmed when he looked down at me from above and turned my head away because the connection we’d shared at that moment felt almost too intimate. He caught my face roughly by my chin and turned me back to look at him. “No, don’t do that, look at me,” he said in his seductive, commanding tone. I thought he was God’s gift to women before, when I’d seen him on TV—that was nothing like seeing him the way he was with me in that moment. The way he directed my body affirmed such a notion. By that point I didn’t care whether I was his fuck and duck or not. To see him in all his masculinity, with all the bullshit stripped away and his behavior so raw and dirty toward me was something I’d remember forever.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” he mumbled, in his low serious tone as his pace slowed to a gentle rock.

  “You do?” I asked a little startled, while my eyes tried to read his. I had my doubts he would ever have guessed my last thought.

  “You think I’ll be gone tomorrow and this is a time-filler for me, right?” he replied softly, leaning over me to place his forehead on mine. Something about that particular gesture as he was entering me was so intimate it felt like more than casual sex. It moved me and brought a lump to my throat.

  “Isn’t that exactly what this is?”

  Kane snickered as he leaned back to brush some strands of hair from my eyes. “I’d hate to think that, Jo. Is this what it is for you? Your chance to fuck a rock star?” His tone was questioning as he watched my face intensely, waiting for my answer. I struggled to accept it was anything else. We weren’t the kids we once were. This was different, but we’d only just met again.

  “I don’t know what this is. The only thing I know for sure is that it’s happening,” I answered honestly. Having casual sex went against everything I normally stood for and how I’d given into him so easily confused me.

  “Damn straight it is, and I’m going to give you the ride of your life, whatever happens after is your call,” he warned as he ground himself dee
per inside me.

  I had thought he was a cocky bastard for using a line like that, but as it turned out he wasn’t lying. Forty minutes later, I thought I was going to pass out from the way he had rocked my world. I’d never been taken so many times and in so many positions. I had lost count of how many times he’d made me come. My screams were primal and unguarded. When he came I was in no doubt. His animalistic growl could have been heard down the apartment hallway. Pulsing rhythmically inside me, he leaned over from his position behind me and held my back tightly to his chest. I could hardly breathe and when we collapsed sideways on the bed he was spooning with me.

  “Hot damn, baby. Best ride of my life,” he stated, panting. His voice sounded gruff. I was embarrassed when he slapped my ass then rubbed the sting away while I lay quietly trying to catch my breath. I was exhausted from how my body had been stretched and bent to its limits as he’d turned me every which way he wanted to take me. A few minutes later I had just about recovered when his breathing gradually slowed and became heavy and deep. Kane had fallen asleep.

  I rolled off the bed carefully so that I didn’t wake him and headed back to the bathroom to clean up. Guilt and shame had replaced any positive feelings I’d had about what we’d just done. I had never had a one night stand before. I stared into the mirror and noted the raspberry-colored bite mark on my neck. What the hell were you thinking? I hadn’t thought at all, it was more about what I’d felt. Immediately l thought it had been my biggest mistake. Kane wasn’t some lame guy I could forget, he was the boy from my past, my one-time best friend, and he was a rock star that was frequently splashed all over the press. I’m screwed.

  Chapter 8

  Regrets