Missing Beats
Page 30
Kane flashed me his heartbreaking smile and pressed his lips to mine. “I swear it, Josephine Carmichael, my soulmate. I’ll never let you regret it, because I’ll make sure to remind you of my fucking kick-ass awesomeness and make you feel beyond…oh and I promise to leave you breathless, with alarming regularity.” He winked and waggled his eyebrows. A huge grin spread over his face that made me want to kiss it.
Our courtship was practically non-existent but my dad was never more right when he told my mom all those years ago he wouldn’t be surprised if we found our way back to one another. It took us all those years before we did, but Kane was right too, if we’d known each other growing up we may have missed this…and that would have been another tragedy.
Epilogue Kane
Five years later.
“You do believe me don’t you, Daddy?”
Glancing at the total destruction in the playroom, I initially saw red. Red nail polish that is. Our two, white Scottish Terriers, Misty and Bob, had their paw claws heavily manicured, and if I had to pass judgment on the effort she’d put in, she hadn’t done a bad job of that. I chewed my lip and tried not to laugh when my eyes met hers because she was just as easy to read as her mom had been around that age. Ellie looked like me, but her behavior and mannerisms were all inherited from my wife, Josie. Some days it freaked me out because being with them was like living in the past and the present at the same time. My heart squeezed at the familiarity in her voice, the way she moved, and her innocent open stare that gave away all her secrets. And, just like her mom, she made a terrible liar.
She’d been productive I’d give her that. My little budding beautician had taken Jo’s mascara and done a great job of coloring three of her dollies’ hair with it. The red nail polish bottle sat open and balanced precariously on the side of her cartoon branded dressing table and two of her own big toes had been painted way beyond the nail and past the first knuckle. Foundation make-up was rubbed very diligently into the floor all around her. Jo’s make-up bag was lying at the side of her leg if any evidence were needed as to who the culprit of the mess was.
I fought to keep my face straight and I tried to find the words to chastise her without saying something that would make me laugh.
“I’m not sure that I do, young lady. You’re telling me that Misty told you to do that to Bob? Then told you to paint your toes as well?”
“Yes, she did. Naughty Misty,” she said, in a shaky voice, her lip quivering, and her huge doe brown eyes, like her mom’s, brimming with tears. I had to fight all the protective feelings I had for her, I hated seeing her cry. She and her mother owned my heart in equal parts. Being a parent at times like that sucked.
I picked up a dolly that was lying face down and turned it over to look at its face and my heart cracked wide open. Ellie had painted a red line down the center of the doll’s chest, right between the plastic breast mounds. It was a jagged attempt to make her dolly look just like her. I crouched to the floor and scooped her up in my arms, swallowing hard at how, as young as my baby girl was, she’d noticed the difference in her body. Josie and I had never tried to hide the start Ellie had had from her. We always told her that since she was just like any other child now, it shouldn’t stop her from being anything that she wanted, except for something that put excessive strain on her heart, like an international athlete in training or something similar.
Walking over to the chair in the corner of her room, I sat and placed her on my lap. “Your dolly has the same special line on her chest; you want to tell me about that?”
Instantly her little mouth pouted and she looked to our dogs then nodded again. “Misty said Dotty wasn’t a real dolly because she didn’t have a heart, and I couldn’t make her understand that she was a real dolly. The only way I could make her believe me was to do an operation on her, so Misty wouldn’t argue with me anymore. Because if she had an operation then she had to have a heart in the first place.” Damn she’s so smart.
Seeing her upset, even though it was at her own doing, crushed my heart and I found it so fucking difficult to do the heavy dad part with her. I was saving that up for when she was a teenager and the lanky boys came calling. I shuddered to think about that part, but I knew I’d be a kick-ass threatening figure if anyone thought they were getting into her pants.
We heard footsteps on the wooden landing and Ellie’s body stiffened as her mom came through the doorway, her eyes widening as they darted around the room. “Uh oh,” Ellie said, in a melodic sing-song voice.
Jo, my gorgeous soulmate, stood with her jaw hanging and her eyes bugging out of her head still clutching the door handle tightly. Once she had absorbed the initial wig out from what she saw, her eyes softened and she shook her head.
“Don’t tell me, Ellie…did Daddy put you up to this?” she asked as she spoke to our daughter like she was the sensible one in the room. I sucked in my lips as I tried to keep it together. Jo was doing the duck lips thing with her mouth as she tried to keep herself from laughing, and I had to look at the corner of the room to keep myself in check and not burst out laughing as well.
“Oh, no, Mommy, he had nothing to do with it,” she replied, sounding all protective. “It was stupid Misty over there.” She turned to look at our innocent dogs and narrowed her eyes. “See what you’ve done, Misty, you almost got Daddy into trouble.”
At that point I’m afraid I lost it and laughed heartily at our little kid defending my honor. It was too cute.
“Kane, stop that! You are incorrigible.” I lifted the dolly in my defense and Jo’s eyes immediately focused on what Ellie had done.
“Misty, what have I told you about getting these guys into trouble,” Jo asked, immediately changing tack; her mock anger directed at the poor dog that had done nothing except be patient, and have her claws painted. “Now, Patricia is going to have a big mess to clean up thanks to you.” Patricia was our housekeeper. Jo went on to lecture Ellie via the dog about all the dangers of playing with cosmetics and Ellie joined in, indicating her level of understanding, before Jo told us that she’d come to get us because dinner was ready.
Getting out of the chair with Ellie in my arms, I walked over to my wife and slid my hands around her waist. Her upturned face had a look in her eyes that told me how much she adored me and I hoped she read the same look in mine.
Josephine Carmichael stole my heart with a picture she shoved into my hands as fat tears ran down her face. I was almost ten years old then and she was almost eight. I met her as a six-year-old, and there was just something about her that drew me in and tied her to my heart. Her crooked smile with one big tooth and one missing mesmerized me. She was beautiful with the face of an angel. Her brothers used to get pissed when she wanted to play, but in truth, I’d have rather played with her than them, and eventually I never hid that fact.
All these years later, with all that we’ve done and who we’ve become, my heart is still hers. It will always be hers. Our past wasn’t perfect and our reunion even messier than I care to remember, but the joy Jo brought to my life with her love and our beautiful baby with her missing beats, made me so fucking grateful for my second chance.
I’ll admit I was worried that she’d never let me in again, and if I could go back and have a do-over it may never have worked out like it did. My only regret was the months that Jo was pregnant that I never knew about, because she carried that weight on her own. My heart burns when I think about how that must have felt for her, but I can’t let it consume me. It is what it is, and she made that choice which was her right and her right only, at that time.
During the past five years, my Jo has found that the worries she carried about living with someone who does what I do as my job, were unfounded. Sure, there is excess and vulgarity in the music industry, and yes, I was part of that for a while, but for every rock star that’s clever, they realize pretty quickly when it’s time to grow up. The seedier side that’s on offer can get old rapidly, and finding a ‘Jo’ bec
omes harder every day. No one that does what I do, with the fame that follows from that, can be sure the one they’re with is there because of you, and not what you do. Luckily for me, my Jo was there from the beginning, and I’ll do everything in my power to make sure she’s there at the end because come hell or high water, she’s mine forever.
The End.
Other Books by
K.L. Shandwick
Last Score Series
Gibson’s Legacy
Trusting Gibson (book 2)
The Everything Trilogy
Enough Isn’t Everything
Everything She Needs
Everything I Want
Love With Every Beat
Just Jack (spin off from The Everything Trilogy)
Everything Is Yours
Ready For Flynn Series
Ready For Flynn, Part 1
Ready For Flynn, Part2
Ready For Flynn, Part3
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