CowSex

by Lesley Jones

  It’s only around five a.m. at her end, which means I’m returning the favour of the early morning wake-up call she made to me yesterday.

  “Time zones suck big hairy sweaty balls.” She complains down the line.

  “Nawww. Good morning, Kod, did I wake you?”

  “What do you want? Why aren’t you busy riding your cowboy?”

  “His son just arrived. It’s Thanksgiving here tomorrow. So he’s staying for the weekend.”

  “Son? He has a son? How old? I’m Googling. I’ve only looked at pictures of him so far. He’s FAF, Gracie, I’ve gotta tell ya. Definitely a ten, possibly pushing an eleven depending on his personality and skill in the sack.”

  “Nineteen,” I call out, meaning Kai’s age and not Koa’s competencies in the sack, but I already know she no longer has her phone to her ear.

  “Fuck me, Gracie. His wife was in a car accident, and the kid nearly died.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “Shit, she was drunk and charged with DUI and criminal negligence. They banged the bitch up, she did a two stretch and got a twenty-k fine.”

  Okay. I didn’t know all of that. Koa’s wife, Kai’s mum, went to prison?

  I let out a deep breath. No wonder Koa is affected the way he is. How do you move on from that? And poor Kai.

  “Fucking hell, just look at the state of her. Why would he ever tap that?”

  “Childhood sweethearts.”

  “Oh fuck me.”

  “Now what?”

  “Grace?”

  “What?”

  My head and heart both feel like they’re about to explode. Kod and her fucking Googling!

  “He has another wife and a daughter.”

  Oh.

  “Ex-wife. Yes, Kod, I’m aware.”

  “She’s stunning, babe. Sorry and all that, but she’s gorge.”

  I’ve deliberately avoided looking at images of Koa’s exes online. I know my limits, and what my brain can and can’t handle, and I know that if either of these women are beautiful, I’ll drive myself insane with this knowledge.

  “I didn’t actually call you for a rundown on Koa’s past life. He’s already told me all about it.”

  “Then what d’ya want? Not being funny, but it’s like, the middle of the night.”

  “It’s after five, you called me at this time nearly every day.”

  “Good job I do. Got to have a convo with the man himself the other day and tip him the wink I’d have his balls if he turned into a fuck boy.”

  “Thanks?”

  “Not a problem, love, and between you and me, I don’t think you’ve got a thing to worry about. From what he said to me, the bloke’s bang in love with you.”

  “It’s been three weeks. Koa’s not bang in anything with me. Just, well, banging me I s’pose.”

  “Gracie, Gracie, Gracie. I knew you’d be like this. I’ve gotta say, though, I’m as shocked as shit that you’ve not been calling me twenty-four seven since you’ve been there. That tells me that either the sex is so good that you’ve not been freaking the fuck out four times a day or that you’re getting so much sex that you haven’t even had a chance to freak the fuck out four times a day. I guess it could be a combination of both.”

  “That last one sounds about right,” I admit with a smile. “If I didn’t feel like I was hurtling along the Bakerloo line in the dark with no breaks, I’d let myself enjoy it. It’s the whole thing about how we’ve just met and instantly started living together. What must his son think of me? What are his friends thinking, his mum? It’s like the plot from one of those books with the terrible titles we haven’t had time to listen to in a while.”

  Kod and I went through a spell of listening to audio books while we worked in the office. It was amazing how much quicker the day went and how horny I was when I got home, which only ended up leaving me frustrated because Reggie was rarely there. Hence Vance.

  “Cuckolded by the Cowboy.”

  “Taken Up the Valley.”

  “Mounted in Montana.” I snort while laughing aloud.

  “Done in Denver,” she offers. “Anal in Aspen,” she adds before I can catch my breath.

  There’s no stopping Kod now that she’s on a roll, though.

  “Does he make you moist and leave you wanting, Gracie? Does he cup your cleft and part your folds?”

  “Yes,” I call out. “Yes. Yes, he does, all while I stroke the hard length of his throbbing member.”

  Kod breathes heavy and pants down the phone while chanting, “Yes. Yes. Yes! Does he rut you like a wild animal?” she asks.

  It’s my turn with the chants. “Yes. Yes. Oh my God, so much yes.” I’m almost choking as we laugh and pant. “Does his hard steel shaft weep and glisten as you lick the tip?” I ask.

  “It weeps. It so fuckin—”

  I almost gag as I spot Koa standing in my open doorway. His arms are stretched above his head as he holds onto the frame. His jeans hang low on his hips, and the dark line of hair that I know leads somewhere good is briefly visible before disappearing inside his waistband.

  “Keep going, Essex, don’t let me interrupt the show.”

  He moves into the bedroom, closes and locks the door behind him, and stalks my way.

  “Hey, Koa,” Kod calls out.

  “Morning, Princess,” he responds.

  “You wanna join the show? We can have a menagerie.”

  “Ménage, babe.” I correct her.

  Koa’s eyebrows disappear into his hairline. “Sounds like you girls were doing just fine without me.”

  “Always do, Cowboy. Us sisters have to know how to do it for ourselves.”

  “Yeah, gathered that when I met Gracie’s friend Vance.”

  “You met Vance? He’s such a joy.”

  I chew on my bottom lip as Koa takes the makeup wipe from my hand and places it on the chest of drawers beside the bed. He then moves the phone from my chest and places it next to the wipe.

  I’m lying flat on my back, my legs hanging off the bed as I look up at him. His eyes roam my body, and I fight not to squirm under his perusal. I contain it on the outside at least, on the inside, not so much. My heart is beating at a rapid pace, my stomach is on a spin wash, and if I tense my pelvic floor any tighter, I’ll probably be able to cough it up.

  “I met him. Once,” Koa tells Kod as he leans in and pulls off my UGGs and socks. He then hooks his fingers into my lounge pants and knickers, manoeuvring them down my hips and legs, removing them entirely in one fell swoop, leaving me naked from the waist down.

  “Gracie hasn’t needed him since she arrived here, though.”

  “Fucking hell. Lucky bitch. Nice to know at least one of us is being taken care of.”

  “Oh, I’m taking care of her, don’t you worry yourself about that.”

  “Okay, you’re gonna make me pregnant if this convo continues. I’m gonna go now, cold shower time for me. Gracie, you enjoy your—oh, I forgot to tell you. Ryan and I decided to give you a ship name.”

  “Ship name?” Koa questions while taking in the view of my half-naked body. I’m not sure if he’s talking to me, Kod, or himself.

  “Relationship name,” Kod and I replied together.

  “You know,” Kod continues, “Like BrAngelina, or KimYe.”

  “Divorced?”

  “No.” Kod laughs as I smile because we’re totally confusing him. “Anyway, don’t worry. Gracie’ll explain it later. But yeah, we decided that seeing as you’re a cowboy—”

  “I’m really not,” Koa interrupts her.

  “Yeah well, for the benefit of this, and for the sake of my most recent fantasies, you are. So, work with me here, okay? Anyway, you’re a cowboy, and Gracie’s an Essex girl, and ta-da, we came up with CowSex. Wha’d’ya reckon?”

  Koa looks horrified. “CowSex?” We question in unison.

  “Yeah, CowSex. Genius. Gotta tell ya, me and Ry have laughed for the past two days about it. You wanna see the gifs that come up when
you put the word into your phone—”

  “Okay, that’s about the worst ship name I’ve ever heard, so I’m gonna go now and give you time to come up with something better, like GraKo, or something. Anything other than CowSex.”

  “GraKo? What even is that? Sounds like a character from Game of Thrones, in fact, I’m sure that it is.”

  “Which one?”

  “A dead one probably. Spoiler Alert, They all die in that show.”

  “End the call,” I say to Koa quietly. “Gotta go, Kod, chat later. Love you. Byeeee,” I call out.

  Koa swipes to end the call. His eyes landing instantly back on me.

  Being female, my first instinct is to cross my legs and hide myself. I worry whether my legs and thighs look fat squashed against the bed, and I’m all sorts of paranoid that I’ve not showered since this morning.

  “CowSex?” His eyebrows lift in question.

  “Nawwww. It’s kinda cute,” I tell him as he does that thing with his T-shirt that I like and pulls it over his head and off.

  “It’s not. There’s nothing cute about cows and fucking.”

  “Well, there’s calves,” I offer.

  “Calves?”

  “Yeah, after cows have sex, little baby calves get born.”

  He shakes his head. “Okay, can we end this conversation? No more talk of animals having sex. Let’s just concentrate on what’s happening here.”

  “Oh yeah, and what’s that then?”

  He lifts my left leg and kisses the inside of my knee and then continues the path to the very top of my inner thigh.

  “Me, making you pant and say yes the exact same way you were when I walked into the room.”

  He lifts my left knee, but this time he starts at my ankle.

  “Well, if you give me CowSex, I might oblige.”

  “Stop saying CowSex.”

  “CowTongue?”

  “Gracie,” he warns and then bites down on the soft, sensitive flesh at the very top of my thigh.

  “CowFingers?”

  “Stop talking.”

  “CowCock?”

  “Gross.”

  He buries his nose, tongue, and fingers in my pussy. I stop talking and start panting.

  KOA

  “SHE’S COOL, DAD. REALLY GREAT. But why does she keep asking if I’m all right?”

  I smile over my coffee cup as I watch my son make his own drink. It’s just hitting me how much I’ve missed him.

  “She’s not. All right to the English is like us saying hey or hi. She’s not actually asking if you’re all right and doesn’t expect you to go into any kind of detail regarding your well-being,” I try to explain Gracie’s weird way with words as concisely as I can. It barely makes sense to me, so I’m not sure if he’s getting it any better.

  “Well, it’s weird.”

  “Son, you have no idea.”

  “She’s nice, though, apart from that. Pretty, too.” He turns, and his eyes meet mine. “Like, gorgeous.”

  “She is.”

  We eye each other for a few moments before he grins. “You really like her, don’t you?”

  “I really do,” I admit.

  “Good. It’s about time you found someone.”

  I wasn’t really concerned with Kai’s reaction to Gracie, but I’m glad he likes her. Our heads both turn towards the door when she walks through it. I’d left her upstairs deciding what to wear today. I’d told her that Thanksgiving lunch over at Dean and Shannon’s would be a casual thing, but I’m not sure that Gracie really knows what casual is. Either way, I’m pleasantly surprised, and instantly hard.

  She’s wearing black suede ankle boots, a pair of black jeans that look like they’ve been sprayed on and are full of rips, a black top that has fabric cut out at the shoulders, allowing her bare flesh and ink to show through. Around her neck, she’s wearing a leather choker, the sight of which does all kinds of strange things to my dick. Her hair is in a loose braid that hangs over one shoulder, and if she’s wearing any makeup, then it’s minimal.

  She really is beautiful. Kimmie’s words, come back to me, “Tell her, let her know she’s special.” I hesitate because Kai’s there and I’m acutely aware that he’s watching my reaction.

  Before I get a chance to not give a fuck and just let her know, she asks, “Will I do?” And then she twirls around in front of us.

  Kai gives a long, slow whistle of approval.

  “You look perfect,” I say. Wishing that I’d got the words out before she had to ask.

  “Thank you. You don’t look bad yourself.”

  I reach out for her hand and pull her towards me. “You smell good, too,” I let her know.

  “Thanks.”

  “Kai, stop staring and go get showered, boy, we’re gonna be late.” I bust my kid checking out Gracie’s ass and order him upstairs. “You and I’ll be having a talk later.”

  “Yeah, yeah. I was only looking. This is what happens when you send me to live where there are no women under seventy.”

  “We’ll talk about that later, too, but not if you don’t keep your eyes off my woman’s ass. You’ll be staying put till you’re twenty-one.”

  “Whatever,” I hear him mumble.

  I place my hands on Gracie’s hips and pull her against me, burying my face into the side of her neck.

  “You doing okay?”

  I know that she’s nervous about today, and as much as I hate it, I also find it kinda cute. Gracie likes to put up a feisty, independent persona, but it feels good to know that maybe she’ll need a little support from me today.

  “Yeah, I’m all right.” That damn word again. “Are we s’posed to take anything with us?”

  “Shannon’s family will have the food covered, and I’ve had a case of Cuvee delivered.”

  “Ooh, go you.”

  I look down at her and watch as she chews on the inside of her cheek.

  “You giving yourself a headache with the overthinking again, Essex?”

  With her chin tilted down, she looks up at me through her lashes.

  “When people ask how we met, what are you gonna tell them?”

  “That you’re a homeless person from England that I rescued off the mean streets of London.”

  She looks up and rolls her eyes at me.

  “I’ll tell them that you rented my aunt’s cabin, I was there to do some renovations and the instant I laid eyes on you, my heart, my life, my whole damn world flipped. As soon as we started to talk, I knew that you were everything I didn’t know I wanted, and no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I was certain that there was no going back.”

  My mouth is dry, and my chest feels tight when I finish speaking, and her eyes fill with tears.

  “That’s the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me,” she whispers and starts swaying from side to side. I move with her.

  “Get used to it, Essex, ’cause I plan to tell you beautiful things every day.”

  She wipes a finger under each eye to catch her tears, and I suck it into my mouth, swallowing down the salty taste.

  “Now you’re making me horny.”

  “Good, get used to that, too. I plan to keep you that way all day every day.”

  My phone vibrates in my back pocket, and I pull it out to see Lucy’s number displayed.

  “Gotta get this, baby.”

  Gracie steps back to give me space, but I grab her hand and keep her at my side.

  “Carmichael.”

  “Can you collect Malia tomorrow rather than Saturday? Something came up.”

  My ex-wife doesn’t even bother with a greeting before making her request. I’m not surprised or upset, what concerns me is what influence this lack of manners might be having on my daughter.

  “Sure, happy to.”

  “Good, we’ll drop her to you early.”

  “I’m at the cabin. I’m not in Aspen.”

  “Oh, how come?”

  “None of your business.”

  “Don’t
be petty, Koa.”

  “Not being petty, just saying.”

  “Well, I guess we’ll drop her at the cabin. Like I said, it’ll be early, before nine.”

  “That’s not a problem. Can I talk to her?”

  I fucking hate asking.

  “I suppose. Just make sure you’re awake and not wallowing in a hangover of bourbon and self-pity when we get there tomorrow morning.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  I don’t know exactly what it was I did to make my ex so pissed with me. I gave Lucy everything, and she took it gladly. Shannon reckons she’s a narcissist, I reckon she may be that and more.

  Gracie has laced our fingers together and is staring down at her boots. She’s standing close enough to be able to hear both ends of the conversation, but I’ve no clue what she’s thinking.

  “Hey, Daddy. Happy holidays day.”

  My daughter’s voice carries through the phone, and I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. I love my kids equally, but the urge to protect my daughter and keep her safe from the world is something I worry might be a little irrational. I hate being apart from her and not having her in my life every day.

  It’s not that I don’t feel it with Kai, I do, especially after his recent fuck up, but he’s older and can protect himself to some extent. Malia’s only four and lives with my self-serving bitch of an ex.

  “Hey, baby girl. Happy holidays day to you, too.”

  “It’s your weekend to have me, Daddy. What we gonna do?”

  “Not sure yet. Is there anything you’d like to do? Kai’s home, too.”

  “He is? Well, that’s so cool. We can hang out and maybe watch a movie together.”

  My kid sounds like a teen already, and I shut that thought down in an instant. I have at least nine years before I need to worry about all that entails. Twenty if I can find a way to lock her up without alerting the authorities.

  “Sure, we can do that. We’ll be staying at the cabin.”

  “Cool, can we go to the diner that Kai goes to for pancakes?”

  “Of course. The winter festival is going on this weekend, too, we can go visit that if you’d like?”

  “That sounds perfect, Daddy. I’ll be sure to pack my new jacket. You should see it. It’s pink and purple and has blut-buf-butterflies on it.”