Tracing Invisible Threads

by C. Fonseca

  Eleanor looked down at the Oxfords. “The shoes and the shirt are a definite no. I like the pants, but I won’t wear pants made from camel hair. I mean, how do they get—?”

  “I wouldn’t suggest anything that involves cruelty to animals.” Alexa frowned. “It’s like getting wool from sheep. Camels shed, or moult, about seven kilos of inner fleece each spring.”

  “How do you even know that?” Eleanor scratched her head. Alexa would be a sure thing on one of those TV quiz shows.

  Alexa shrugged. “Look at the label. Blended with cashmere and sooo soft.”

  Eleanor jumped as Alexa bent down and brushed her hand up the inside of her calf.

  “So, the pants and the vest?” Alexa looked up with a lazy, slow, very sexy smile.

  “I’ll buy the pants and maybe the patterned tie,” Eleanor said, hurrying towards the change room. “You wait right here.”

  “Of course. I like it when you’re a just-so mixture of adorable and feisty.”

  Eleanor tugged the curtain across and stared at herself in the mirror again. Even though she looked like she’d travelled back in time, the outfit had something daring about it.

  The women in the slides from the 1800s wore bell-shaped layers and loads of petticoats, giving them the appearance of being fragile and doll-like. She grimaced. But they must have been tough; how else would they have survived the harsh conditions of the goldfields?

  Meeting with Phyllis yesterday and spending time with Alexa had Eleanor contemplating her own family tree. Even though her work was a constant reminder of just how fragile life could be, it was her father’s illness that had brought everything to the fore. She should talk to her parents about all those relatives who contributed to her DNA before it was too late. Eleanor wanted to learn about her ancestors and their stories. Maybe there were mysteries and scandals to be uncovered in her own family’s past as well.

  “Do you need help in there?” Alexa gave a slightly giddy, happy laugh from the other side of the curtain.

  “I’ll be right out,” Eleanor called, quickly undressing and folding her chosen items into a neat pile. She grabbed her own clothes from the hook, stepping into her faded blue jeans, hurriedly pulling on her Henley.

  Alexa pushed aside the curtain. “Anyone else would think you were stalling.”

  Eleanor stepped out of the booth with the new items of clothing tucked under her arm. “Why would I do that?” she asked. “Lead me to the cash register.”

  “And then on to that promised lunch.” Alexa’s eyes sparkled as she linked their arms, and they strolled towards the checkout.

  Eleanor was euphoric walking along clutching Alexa’s arm. She wouldn’t have been surprised to look down at her feet and find they weren’t touching the ground.

  They meandered through the market grounds, still arm in arm, arriving at the coffee house in just a few minutes. They were seated at a cosy table for two by a server wearing a traditional Viennese outfit. The aromas of toasted bread, savoury spices, cardamom, and honey wafted through the café, tickling Eleanor’s nose. Luckily, the service was swift, their meals arrived quickly, and they tucked in gratefully.

  Alexa pointed to the leftover cheese and bread dumpling on Eleanor’s plate. “Aren’t you going to finish that?”

  Eleanor shook her head. “This really is like a true Viennese coffee house, but I can’t eat another morsel of Knödel, or I’d curl up right there on that gold leather banquette under the tear drop chandelier and fall asleep.” She placed a hand over her mouth and mimed an exaggerated yawn.

  “Have you spent time in Austria? You sound like a native speaker, the way you said Knödel.”

  Eleanor laughed. Coming from Alexa, it sounded like canoodle. “I spent a month in the Austrian Alps some time ago.”

  “On assignment?”

  “No, with a friend.”

  “Were you high on a hill with some lonely goatherder?”

  “I don’t think Heidi had any goats. She was a skier.” Eleanor laughed. “That holiday romance went downhill pretty quickly.”

  “Heidi, eh,” Alexa said with a dramatic eye roll. “Sometimes I forget how well-travelled you are.”

  Alexa seemed to be implying that Eleanor was not only well-travelled but had slept around. Eleanor hesitated. She didn’t really want to talk about that now, so she found a safer subject. “Dad would love it here. The aroma from the coffee roasters is heavenly.” She patted her abdomen. “I’ll probably regret it, but I’m going to order an Apfelstrudel and a Kleiner mokka,” she said in her best German accent. “What would you like?”

  “I’ll have a slice of the Almond Cake with a nice dollop of farmhouse cream and an espresso.” Alexa’s smile widened. “Don’t worry. I know just the thing for working off those carbs.”

  “Are we heading back to the cottage for a nap?” Eleanor asked, although a nap was the furthest thing from her mind.

  Alexa tossed her hair back and laughed wickedly. “I’m happy to take you to bed later. I thought we’d take a town walk around historical Castlemaine first.”

  “Really?” Eleanor’s shoulders drooped. “Okay. I suppose that is why we’re here.”

  “Phyllis thought the schoolhouse in the slide looked like the main building of South School, which is just a short walk away.” Alexa’s face was alight with anticipation. “What do you say to a history lesson?”

  “Coffee and dessert first, and then we can get going.” Eleanor jumped to her feet, keen to check out the cake cabinet display. “And if we’re lucky, we’ll enjoy another kind of dessert at the cottage.”

  “Only if you pay attention to my history lesson.” Alexa wagged her finger at Eleanor threateningly.

  * * *

  A few hours later, at Gold-Dust Cottage, Eleanor sat on the sofa with sagging shoulders and allowed Alexa to lift her throbbing right hand onto the pillow she’d placed on her lap.

  “Good thing this is just a minor burn.”

  Eleanor winced, looking away. “Ouch, ouch, ouch…”

  “Silly. I haven’t even touched it yet.” Alexa slit a large spear of Aloe Vera in half and bathed Eleanor’s finger with the cooling gel. “This will heal the burn. It’s not too bad. You won’t need a bandage.”

  “That does feels better.” Eleanor sighed. “I’m just glad it’s not my dominant hand.”

  “Poor baby. Lucky it’s not the finger you use to press the shutter button.” Alexa snorted. “I warned you not to use a damp tea towel to lift the cornbread out of the grill. I have an oven mitt for that.”

  “I just wanted to help.” Eleanor lowered her eyes.

  “You did help,” Alexa’s voiced dipped. “It was our first attempt at cooking together.”

  “And look what happened. A small disaster.” Eleanor fiddled with the row of green beads she wore around her wrist. “How long do I leave my hand in your lap?”

  “As long as you like.” Alexa ran her fingers over Eleanor’s bracelet. “This is pretty. It looks like jade.”

  “I think it is. Aunt Helen sent it to me from China.”

  “It’s gorgeous,” Alexa said.

  Eleanor caressed Alexa’s cheek with her uninjured hand. “Sometimes your eyes are exactly the same colour.”

  “Why don’t we stretch out so you can get more comfortable?” Alexa shuffled to the corner of the sofa, straightened her legs, and beckoned for Eleanor to join her.

  For a moment, Eleanor stayed where she was, gazing into Alexa’s eyes. She quickly shook off her trance-like state, wandering over to settle herself back against Alexa’s chest, safely wrapped in her arms.

  “That’s better.” Alexa nuzzled Eleanor’s hair. “Maybe we should try and get some actual sleep tonight. Give you time to heal.”

  “Hey, I’m not injured that badly.”

  “This is nice,” Alexa whispered in her ear
, her arms tightening around Eleanor’s midriff.

  Eleanor inhaled deeply. “God, you smell so good.” She tilted her chin, kissing Alexa softly. “I could get used to this.”

  “Do you mean kissing? I’m rather partial to that particular pursuit myself.”

  Eleanor was enjoying their physical connection, but it seemed as if Alexa wasn’t ready to acknowledge what they had went deeper. She supposed that was okay for now, but she hoped Alexa would come to want something more between them soon.

  Alexa dragged her fingernails up the inside of Eleanor’s thighs—with purpose—distracting Eleanor from her thoughts about Alexa’s headspace.

  For a moment, Eleanor pushed against Alexa’s hand, then changed her mind. She didn’t want this to be a quickie on the sofa. Stilling Alexa’s hand with hers, Eleanor turned in her arms, drew herself up onto her knees, and put some distance between them.

  “Something the matter? Did I hurt your hand?” Alexa wore a worried frown.

  “No, not at all.”

  “What then?” A half-smile tugged the corner of Alexa’s mouth.

  “I’d like for us to take our time. Go slowly,” Eleanor said hesitantly, even though she’d have to use all her restraint, because, really, she wanted Alexa naked and in bed quicker than the fastest shutter speed. “Come to bed.”

  Alexa rose from the sofa. Her fingers grazed the bottom of Eleanor’s chin, tilting her head up. “I have a hunch; we’re not going to get much sleep, after all.”

  Alexa was right. Two hours later, Eleanor lay drowsily propped up against the pillows, gazing at the gorgeous woman who had just dropped off to sleep. One of Alexa’s legs was still curled around Eleanor’s calf, anchoring her. Bathed in the soft light streaming through the multi-paned windows, Alexa’s face was serene and very beautiful.

  Eleanor sighed contentedly, recalling each moment, imprinting on her mind each image and every sensation of their lovemaking. The way Alexa moved in her arms—below her, above her. How she responded to Eleanor’s touch, the sound of her laboured breathing before she cried out Eleanor’s name—then reversed their positions and began the exploration of Eleanor’s body, her mouth blazing a trail of fire. The surge of emotions welling up inside Eleanor filled her heart to bursting.

  Eleanor rested her chin on Alexa’s shoulder. Even though she hadn’t uttered the words out loud, in her heart, she knew it was true. I love you. Eleanor swallowed hard. She wanted more of this friendship. More of this connection. More intimacy beyond just physical release.

  Last night, after coaxing Eleanor to another dizzying, breathtaking orgasm, Alexa had said, “You are incredible, Eleanor. You are so much fun to be with, and the sex is…well, there’s no denying we have chemistry. I care about you very much.”

  They’d made love again, but Eleanor sensed that Alexa was holding back something of herself. She wasn’t ready to let herself fall. Would she ever? Was Alexa scared because of her own past experiences? Or was it something about Eleanor? A small wave of panic surfaced.

  Alexa stirred in her sleep and sighed softly. She extended her arm and pulled Eleanor down beside her. Her slow, even breath warmed Eleanor’s skin.

  Eleanor sighed. She wished she could tell Alexa how she felt, wished Alexa felt the same way, but she couldn’t be sure of anything. She buried her face into Alexa’s neck and whispered into the darkness, “I love you.”

  Chapter 24

  A run, pung and a pair

  The journey back to Melbourne had been rather quiet so far. In her half-awake, half-dreaming state last night, Alexa had just registered Eleanor’s declaration. She was sure she wasn’t supposed to hear her whisper, so she’d pretended to be asleep.

  This morning, Alexa suddenly felt uncomfortable around Eleanor, unsure of what to say to her, and they’d moved around each other cautiously, like two people unaccustomed to sharing their space at the start of the day. While Eleanor had taken off on a chilly early morning run, Alexa pottered around in the cottage. Sarah had summoned them home earlier than planned for Eleanor to drive her father to an unscheduled medical appointment. Perhaps it was for the best.

  The silence in the car now was a little unnerving. There were so many questions Alexa wanted to ask Eleanor. This would be a good time, if Eleanor was open to talk. She glanced over at the passenger seat, where Eleanor was gazing out the window. She looked lost in thought. Unease settled in Alexa’s gut. Perhaps Eleanor was regretting what she’d said.

  Alexa placed her hand on Eleanor’s knee and smiled when Eleanor covered Alexa’s hand with hers. “I’d love to see your book, Treading Lightly, sometime, Eleanor. Do you have a copy? Or do I have to contact the publisher?”

  “No, I do have a couple at the studio,” Eleanor said. “I’d love for you to see it.”

  “You must be so proud.” Alexa smiled eagerly.

  Eleanor adjusted the sun visor with her free hand. “The production values are excellent. The book turned out well. I’m just sorry Helen didn’t get to see it,” she said sadly. “My aunt’s mantra was always, tread lightly on our planet. The book is dedicated to her.”

  “Of course. She was your mentor,” Alexa said gently. “When you talk about Helen, there’s a kind of a shadow hanging over you. Is it okay to ask you why?” Alexa turned her hand to entwine their fingers, subtly encouraging Eleanor to open up about Helen.

  “You’d think after nearly twelve years…” Eleanor tapped her head against the car window. “In Helen’s trunk, there were some notebooks. She was always writing things down. In one of them, she talks about wanting me to join her in Beijing. If I’d gone, I could have stopped her from going to Chengdu.” Her voice faltered, and she cleared her throat. “I know it’s been a long time, but the guilt still lives in here.” She removed her hand from Alexa’s and placed it on her chest.

  “I understand why you regret not meeting your aunt in China, but there was absolutely no way you could have known what would happen.” Alexa looked in the rear vision mirror and moved into the slow lane. She could hear the pain and frustration in Eleanor’s voice. She wished there was some way she could help Eleanor come to terms with Helen’s death and let go of her guilt.

  “I know that, but the trunk arriving has triggered everything all over again.”

  “I’m sure your aunt would be proud of you and all you’ve accomplished,” Alexa said to comfort Eleanor. “The fact that we’re making such good progress with the slides is a definite plus and—”

  “Hey, Alexa.” Eleanor pointed. “What’s going on ahead? There’s a long line of cars crawling really slowly.”

  Alexa craned her neck to get a better view. “Oh, shit, I can just see something in the middle of the highway and a truck pulled off on the side of the road.”

  “There’s a couple of blue lights flashing. I hope nobody’s been hurt.”

  Alexa hit the brakes as the car in front of them came to a standstill. She looked over to Eleanor and put her hands in the air in frustration. “One lane is partly closed, and there’s only a trickle of traffic coming this way,” she said. “We’re going to be late, but at least it’s not my fault this time.” She smiled apologetically.

  After another five minutes, they moved forward about five car lengths and then stopped again. With a wave, a traffic policeman signalled the drivers to pull off near the grassy verge.

  Alexa rolled down her window and peered out. Up ahead, a shipping container lay in the middle of the highway, and cardboard boxes of various sizes were strewn across the road. Hell. She thumped the steering wheel with her hands. “We’re not going anywhere for a while. At this rate, you won’t be able to take your father to his appointment.”

  Eleanor pulled out her phone. “Don’t worry. I’ll message Dad and let him know we’ve been delayed. He can always get a taxi.”

  “All right; good idea.” Alexa rested her head against the headrest and clos
ed her eyes. That was one thing she didn’t have to worry about.

  Did Eleanor really mean what she’d said last night? It would have been easy to say I love you in the aftermath of their sexual passion. Was that what drove Eleanor to say it? Alexa’s father had married three times and told each one of his wives the same three words. When Alexa uttered those words to someone, she would be damn sure they were true.

  Alexa couldn’t avoid the conflicting emotions in her heart and head. She needed time and space to think through what was happening, away from the sound of Eleanor’s infectious laughter, away from those big brown adoring eyes.

  “Alexa, they’re waving us on. You’re daydreaming.” Eleanor caressed Alexa’s thigh. “Where were you?”

  The touch of Eleanor’s hand sent ripples of pleasure coursing through Alexa’s body, reminding her how perfectly they fit together and what an enthusiastic, responsive lover Eleanor was. “Just thinking about our weekend,” Alexa responded with a smile. Eleanor was not shy when it came to their physical intimacy.

  Eleanor licked her lips and blew her a kiss. The hazy, dreamy look in her eyes spelt trouble. How on earth would Alexa resist her and take the time and space she needed?

  Alexa sucked in a breath and turned the key in the ignition. She selected an upbeat driving playlist and turned the volume to loud.

  Nearly an hour later, fairly resolved with her decision to put some distance between them and take a break for the week, Alexa pulled into the driveway at Oxford Avenue, Hawthorn. “You’re home at last.” She smiled wistfully.

  “Unbelievable. Even with the delay, I’m here in time to take Dad to rehab. He’s got Farina out of the garage for you. That will save time.” Eleanor’s face brightened. “When will I see you again?”

  “I’ll be in contact. Anyway, we’re having lunch at Gran’s house on Sunday,” Alexa said as calmly as she could.

  “It’s only Monday. That’s days away.” Eleanor’s tone dropped, a flash of disappointment on her face.

  “I know—” Alexa leant over to kiss Eleanor on the cheek. Sunday was almost a week away, and although she regretted causing Eleanor’s despondency, she really did need that time to sort herself out.