Tracing Invisible Threads

by C. Fonseca

  Eleanor looked down at her worn T-shirt, shorts, and bare feet. She looked as bedraggled as she felt. Taking off towards her studio, she yelled, “Thanks, Dad.”

  Thank God Alexa had called her. Eleanor’s heart wouldn’t stop pounding and fear made her clumsy as she desperately pulled on a pair of jeans and a not-too-crumpled shirt. Sprinting to the front of the house, she found, instead of the Skoda, her mother sitting in her BMW, the motor idling. Eleanor sighed with relief and smiled in deep appreciation.

  The glass lowered on the driver’s side. “Hop in, Eleanor,” her mother said in a firm but gentle tone.

  Placing her hand on the open window, Eleanor leaned in. “Are you sure, Mum? You’ve had a long day.”

  “Darling, you’ve had more than one drink. The traffic will be horrendous near the hospital, and you don’t want to waste time trying to find a park. Alexa needs you,” she said in a soothing voice.

  Worried sick about Grace and Alexa, Eleanor was really in no state to drive. But Alexa had called her, and she sure as hell wanted to be with her. Right now.

  Eleanor raced around to the passenger side and slid into the seat. Reaching for the safety belt, she pulled it across her lap and clicked it into place.

  Her mother eased the car out of the driveway, manoeuvring slowly into the street.

  “Mum.”

  “Yes, dear?”

  “Could you go a little faster, please?”

  “Of course.” Switching lanes to bypass slower vehicles, Sarah soon had them ascending the on-ramp to the highway, where they merged into smooth flowing traffic heading into the city.

  Eleanor leaned forward and pressed her foot down on an imaginary accelerator in a vain hope of speeding up their journey. “Mum, wouldn’t it be faster to go through the back streets?”

  “I’m avoiding the traffic lights. This way is faster.”

  “Good.” Eleanor peered out of the window. “Thankfully the rain’s not still bucketing down. The roads are slippery, though.” Car lights glistened off the slick tarmac, making visibility difficult. “Thanks for driving me, Mum.”

  Alexa’s anxious voice had scared her, and she would have driven like a maniac in these rotten conditions, trying to get to the hospital as soon as possible. She wanted to put her arms around Alexa, to comfort her and be there for her, no matter what. Eleanor let out a stifled sob as she thought of Alexa waiting there all alone.

  “We’ll be there soon, Eleanor,” her mother said. “I hope Grace will come through this okay. I really do.”

  Eleanor stared straight ahead. “The heat must have been too much for her today. She could be suffering from exhaustion or dehydration…” Or was it something more serious?

  Grace had moved around like a rocket at the tournament, hardly stopping, even though Eleanor had urged her, a number of times, to sit down and rest. Tears welled in Eleanor’s eyes. She should have insisted more firmly.

  “She has such tenacity for her age, Mum. She was tired yesterday, but that’s hardly surprising,” she said. “Having me there probably added to her stress. I should have helped her more.”

  Her mother patted her forearm. “Stop that, Eleanor. Grace asked you to take the photographs for the newsletter, didn’t she? You were helping her out.”

  “I should have encouraged her to take a proper rest.”

  “You tried. From what you’ve told me about her, Grace is an independent soul. You’re not responsible for other people’s choices,” her mother said.

  They exchanged a brief look before Eleanor mumbled, “You mean Helen too?”

  “Your aunt was fiercely independent. You’ve always blamed yourself for Helen being in Chengdu, but she was there on assignment. The earthquake that killed her had nothing to do with you not meeting her in Beijing.” Eleanor’s mother spoke slowly, and her voice rasped with emotion.

  Eleanor hung her head. “You’re right, Mum. Maybe I couldn’t have stopped her from going to Chengdu.” She was also beginning to recognise that her mother’s evaluation of her career choice came from love and concern, not as she had always supposed—from her mother’s resentment that Helen had enticed Eleanor to London.

  “I’m glad you’re starting to believe that,” her mother said. “Helen would be so proud of you.”

  Eleanor squeezed her eyes shut. Those were the words she’d needed to hear from her mother for years. “Thank you, Mum. Helen taught me that it is our role is to observe, photograph, and make people stop and think. She was just doing what she loved to do.”

  “You’re right, Eleanor.” Her mother glanced over at her. “You’re very fond of Grace, aren’t you?”

  Eleanor nodded. “At the tournament, Grace organised the group photos, and it was incredible the way she got everyone to smile and laugh. She has such a talent, Mum, just like her granddaughter.” Eleanor pressed her fingers to her lips. Alexa, she sighed and willed herself not to cry.

  “You’re very fond of Alexa, too.”

  “I am,” she answered quickly. “Quite a lot.”

  Her mother’s smile gave Eleanor the courage to continue. “I know we haven’t known each other for long, but it feels right. Alexa is…” She swallowed. “I’ve dated over the years, but Alexa is like no one before. When I’m with her, there’s an indefinable sort of rightness. It’s not just because she’s beautiful and brilliant—I don’t know exactly—I’m…”

  “In love with her?” her mother asked tentatively.

  “I think so. Yes.” Eleanor looked down at her hands, surprised she felt safe enough to make that declaration to her mother even before she’d admitted it to Alexa. But it was the truth. The intense worry tearing apart her insides right now, not only for Grace but also for Alexa, was proof of that.

  “How do you think Alexa feels about you?”

  “I know she cares. She’s honest and kind. I also think she’s scared.” Eleanor pushed her hand through her hair. “But she called me,” she said as realisation sunk in. “When she needed someone, she called me.”

  “She did, darling.”

  “Grace and Alexa have a very special relationship. Apart from a father she doesn’t see, Grace is her only close relative.” Taking a deep breath, Eleanor closed her eyes for a moment. “I’m so lucky. Leo and I are lucky to have you and Dad. He’s making a good recovery, don’t you think? He really gave us a scare.”

  Her mother’s hands clenched the steering wheel, but when she spoke, her voice was calm and steady. “And God willing, Grace will be okay, too.”

  “I hope so. She can’t live forever, but Alexa is not ready to say goodbye yet. I don’t want her to be all alone with no family.” Eleanor’s hands trembled, and a quiver of fear rippled through her body.

  “She won’t be alone, Eleanor. She has you.” Her mother smiled warmly.

  The car slowed near Carlton Gardens after the Nicholson Street turnoff. Thanks to her mother’s skilful driving, they were already at the hospital. Eleanor pushed down the urge to jump out of the still-moving car.

  “There’s a space over there.” Her mother pointed down the road. “I’m going to grab that park.”

  “You don’t have to stay, Mum. Just pull off here. It’s only a short walk to the main entrance.” Eleanor quickly scanned the hospital map she’d pulled up on her phone.

  “I’m coming in with you. I won’t stay if you don’t want me to, but let me come in and check on Grace’s condition, just to make sure that she and Alexa will be all right.”

  “Are you sure, Mum? What about Dad?”

  Her mother unfastened her seatbelt and opened the car door. “He’ll be fine. Leo’s still there for now, and I’ve asked Joel to stay on until I get home.” She reached into the back seat for her purse. “Come on, then. Let’s show Alexa that she’s not alone; she’s got us.”

  Eleanor grabbed her mother’s hand. Tears filled her ey
es, and she blinked them away, swallowing the lump in her throat.

  “It’s okay, darling.” Her mother squeezed her shoulder. “You’d better text Alexa and see where she is in the hospital.”

  The automatic sliding doors opened with a whir.

  Eleanor searched the emergency waiting room, checking out the people thrown together for whatever reasons. How on earth would she find Alexa in this crowd? Although, it was fairly orderly for a Friday evening in a city hospital. She screwed up her nose at the astringent smell of pine oil and sanitiser.

  There were groups scattered throughout the large space. Parents with small pyjama-clad children hugging soft toys. An old man with a bloodied bandage around his head. A couple of white-coated staff strode past the nurses’ station, drawing Eleanor’s attention to a group of chairs, half hidden behind a potted palm. There Alexa was. A surge of love and a fierce desire to protect Alexa welled up inside Eleanor.

  Alexa sat all alone in an upholstered tub chair between the nurses’ station and a set of dark blue doors. Her fingers gripped the seat, and she sat bolt upright. Her eyes were focussed directly in front on those closed doors as if she would run towards them the moment they opened.

  Eleanor hurried over to Alexa. Even before she reached her, Alexa must have sensed Eleanor’s presence. She turned to face her, gasped, and flew out of the chair.

  Eleanor wrapped her arms around Alexa. She seemed fragile as she clung to Eleanor. Swallowing the strangled sob that threatened to escape, Eleanor hugged her tightly.

  “I’m so glad you’re here.” Alexa lowered her head, burying her face into Eleanor’s shoulder. “I’m going crazy waiting on my own.” She let out a muffled cry. “What if Granny’s had a stroke?”

  “I’m here, darling. You’re not alone now.” Eleanor comforted Alexa in the best way she knew. Holding her, stroking her hair, kissing her forehead over and over again as she cried. Grace had to be okay. It was impossible to imagine losing her.

  Chapter 27

  The gates of heaven

  Alexa sank into the security of Eleanor’s arms. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she repeated. “I don’t know what I’ll do if…” Just thinking about what might happen to Gran made her choke on her words and her heart thumped madly. “They wouldn’t let me stay with her during their assessment. The waiting is excruciating. I’m so worried.”

  Eleanor gently lifted Alexa’s chin and stroked her cheek. “I’m here now,” she whispered soothingly. “We’re here with you.”

  “We?” Alexa looked over Eleanor’s shoulder and noticed Sarah Heysen a few feet away, a concerned frown on her face. “Mrs Heysen,” she called out to Sarah. Alexa was heartened that Eleanor hadn’t made the trip on her own.

  Eleanor kept her arm firmly around Alexa’s waist and turned to her mother.

  With a nod and a warm smile, Sarah approached them. “Alexa, I’m so sorry. Has your grandmother been admitted yet? Have they explained what’s happened?”

  Alexa shook her head. “When I arrived at the hospital, they let me see Granny for a few minutes. Her speech was still slurred, and she seemed as confused as when I found her at home. She kept repeating, ‘Where’s Bruce?’”

  “Has Bruce gone missing?” Eleanor asked.

  “No. He was meowing like crazy and darting in and out of the cat door before I locked him in. I’ve spoken to Patrick, and he’ll check on him and the house tonight. Of course, Patrick wanted to rush over to the hospital straight away, but I’ve promised to let him know of Gran’s condition as soon as somebody tells me something.” She stared at the blue doors, willing them to open. “I wish someone would tell me something.” Alexa clenched her hands into fists.

  Eleanor took hold of Alexa’s hands, gently rubbing her thumbs over her knuckles, and Alexa leaned into her, thankful for her warmth and strength. Alexa was so grateful she was no longer alone. A little bit of the tension she’d been carrying for hours slipped away, and she could finally breathe again. “I can’t pester the nurse manager again. He’s already told me that the clinician on duty will speak to me as soon as possible, but they’re taking so damn long.”

  “Why don’t you two take a seat?” Sarah suggested. “I spotted a decent-looking coffee station near the entrance and some vending machines.”

  “I couldn’t eat anything, but I’d love a herbal tea.” Alexa’s nerves were already rattled. Caffeine would probably make her throw up right now.

  “How about you, Eleanor?”

  “Thanks, Mum. Coffee for me, please.” Eleanor glanced at Alexa with concern. “Maybe a muffin or protein bar in case you get hungry later?”

  Alexa shook her head.

  “I’ll see what I can find. Won’t be long,” Sarah said calmly, before turning and briskly walking back towards the automatic glass doors.

  They returned to the seats near the emergency room doors, where they sat close together. “I’m sorry, but Mum insisted she drive me,” Eleanor said, squeezing Alexa’s hand between hers.

  “Don’t be. I’m glad she came.” Sarah’s unflustered presence was an added comfort. Alexa smiled at the thought that Sarah, whom she’d only ever met once, would make the effort to come here just for her.

  Eleanor’s eyes widened. “Really?”

  “Yes.” Alexa shrugged her shoulders. “And I know I’ve said it already, but I’m so glad you’re here.” Biting her lip, she looked down at their joined hands, and guilt washed over her. When she needed support, Eleanor was the only person she’d thought of, and yet she’d kept her at arm’s length all week. “I have to apologise for the way I spoke to you when we returned from the country. I’m sorry, Eleanor.”

  “It’s fine. You don’t need to apologise to me.”

  “I do, especially after being such an ice queen. We had an amazing weekend and then…” Alexa’s voice faltered, and she took a moment, breathing deeply. “Eleanor, I like you a lot, more than—”

  “Alexa Bellamy?” a voice chimed from the nurses’ station.

  Alexa felt the blood drain all the way down her body and into her toes. Knees trembling, she collapsed against Eleanor. After a moment, she allowed Eleanor to help her out of the chair. With Eleanor’s steadying hand around her waist, she was guided towards the desk where a doctor wearing blue scrubs looked at her expectantly.

  Alexa stared at the doctor. “Do you have news about my grandmother? How is she? Will I be able to see her now?”

  “Hi, Alexa, I’m Doctor Cassell. I’ve been attending to your grandmother this evening. She’s a spirited lady, I’ll give her that.” He looked down at the clipboard in his hand. “Mrs West insisted we let her go home,” he said with a smile. “It took some work on my part to convince her it would be better for all concerned that she rests here overnight.”

  Alexa reached out and touched his arm. “Are you saying my grandmother is going to be all right?”

  He nodded reassuringly. “I believe so.”

  With an enormous sigh of relief, Alexa turned to Eleanor and smiled. “Granny’s going to be okay.”

  “That’s wonderful news, Alexa.” Eleanor turned back to the doctor. “What was wrong with Mrs West?”

  Doctor Cassell raised his eyebrows.

  “Sorry, Doctor. This is my girlfriend, Eleanor.”

  The pressure of Eleanor’s arm around Alexa’s back and the way their hips and shoulders connected kept Alexa grounded. She was tucked so comfortably beside Eleanor, it was as if she belonged there.

  “Well, you’ll both be pleased to know we have positive news.” He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. “Mrs West arrived suffering from heat stress and dehydration. Water and electrolyte replacement have done the trick, but we’ll continue with that treatment and monitor her overnight as a precaution. She can go home tomorrow if all goes well.”

  “I’m surprised she agreed to stay,�
� Alexa said to the doctor. She gave Eleanor a gentle bump with her hip. “Can you imagine the fuss she would have made? Gran would hate to stay in hospital overnight.”

  “As I said, it took a bit of convincing.” Doctor Cassell chuckled. “She told me she lives by herself, and that’s how she likes it. Someone will have to keep a close eye on your grandmother for the next few days, though. Give us half an hour, and you can visit her in the ward, for a short time only. Please excuse me, I must continue with my ward round. Good evening, ladies.” He handed the clipboard to the nurse behind the desk.

  Tears welled up in Alexa’s eyes. “Thanks, Doctor,” she called out as he strode briskly through the swinging doors.

  “You must be so relieved.” Eleanor pulled Alexa into a hug, and Alexa stood there with her face buried in Eleanor’s neck, her heartbeat finally slowing to a more normal pace.

  “Sorry to interrupt.”

  Alexa recognised Sarah’s voice and reluctantly extracted herself from the safety of Eleanor’s arms.

  Sarah had joined them at the nurses’ desk. She carried a cardboard tray loaded with three cups, a large muffin, and what looked like a couple of prepacked sandwiches.

  Alexa’s stomach rumbled and she rubbed her hands together. “That looks good, Sarah. I think I’ve got my appetite back.”

  “Really?” Sarah asked with wide eyes. “That sounds like encouraging news.”

  “Grace was suffering from heat exhaustion,” Eleanor explained to her mother. “They’re going to keep her overnight. Alexa will be allowed to visit in about half an hour.”

  “The doctor told us she’s going to be all right,” Alexa said, pressing her palms over her eyes.

  “Oh, thank goodness. I’m so glad,” Sarah said. “Now where should I put this tray?”

  Alexa didn’t want to be alone, but it wasn’t fair to keep Eleanor and her mother waiting now that they knew her grandmother was out of the woods. “It could take longer than half an hour. I’m so grateful that you both raced over to be with me, but I’ll be okay now.”