Tracing Invisible Threads

by C. Fonseca

  “I’m not leaving,” Eleanor said hastily. “I mean, if you don’t mind, I’ll stay with you. Mum, you should head home once you’ve had your tea.”

  “That’s not necessary. I’ll stay.” Sarah shook her head. “Let’s have our drinks and try to eat this sumptuous hospital fare.” She wriggled her eyebrows. “There’s plenty for me to read, and emails to send. I’m in no rush. After you’ve spent time with Grace, I’ll take you both home to Hawthorn.”

  Eleanor didn’t attempt to argue with Sarah, who walked to the line of chairs at the back of the waiting room and sat down.

  Alexa turned to Eleanor to gauge her reaction to her mother’s unexpected pronouncement.

  Eleanor’s eyebrows shot up, and her cheeks coloured. “I can’t believe my mother just said that. You don’t have to come back to Hawthorn if you don’t want to. But I’d like it if you did, and then you wouldn’t be alone tonight.”

  “Thank you. I’d really like that. You and your mum are very sweet.” Actually, Eleanor was incredibly sweet and considerate. She’d stood fast, never pressuring Alexa when she had been cool and distant, keeping a lid on her emotions. Alexa had struck it lucky; Eleanor was an absolute gem. “Despite the doctor’s assurances,” Alexa said, “I’d be too wound up to sleep by myself at the loft.” In Eleanor’s arms, she’d feel safe…loved. She sighed contentedly at the thought.

  Eleanor’s beaming smile and the glint in her eyes told Alexa she’d made the right decision—not that it was a hard one to make.

  Her grandmother had given Alexa a real scare. She couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to Gran before she was able to make good on her promise to clear Mei-Li’s name. Alexa took a deep breath. Now was as good a time as any to ask Eleanor the question she’d been wanting to ask for days. She reached out and clasped Eleanor’s hand. “Could you help me with something, something else?”

  “Anything,” Eleanor replied without a moment’s hesitation.

  “Anything?” Alexa smiled. A short strand of Eleanor’s hair stuck out at a right angle over her ear. Alexa tugged it. “Maybe you should wait until I ask the question before you say yes.”

  “My hair’s a mess, isn’t it? I swam this afternoon and left the house in a hurry.” Eleanor kissed Alexa’s wrist. “And it would still be a yes.”

  “Your hair hardly looks any different from usual. I like it.” Alexa held Eleanor’s gaze. She took a deep breath. “Gran really frightened me today.”

  “It’s been hard on you, Alexa. I was scared, too.”

  “That’s why I’ve got to solve the mystery about Mei-Li.” Alexa hesitated. “I know I don’t have the right to ask for your help after I got mad at you for doing your own research—”

  “We’ve moved on from that,” Eleanor said firmly. “I want to help in any way, and if you need me, I’ll spend time with Grace over the next few days. It would be no problem to work from her place if you can’t take time off from the library. I know it’s really busy at the moment.” Eleanor patted her hair down self-consciously with her free hand, but it still stuck out at the sides adorably.

  “Thank you. You are a darling.” Warmth spread through Alexa at Eleanor’s generosity. Alexa rubbed her forehead. “Aren’t you helping out at the Image Studio next week?”

  Eleanor nodded. “Yes, but not until the end of the week. Now, what can I do to assist you with the Mei-Li mystery?”

  “There’s a lot to research. Your knowledge of law would be really valuable,” Alexa said, pressing into Eleanor’s side.

  “Of course, I’ll help.”

  Alexa smiled. “I’d love to kiss you, but your mother’s sitting across the room peeking at us over the top of her iPad. A cup of tea and a little muffin will have to do for now.”

  Eleanor planted a quick kiss on her cheek, followed by a satisfied grin. “Come on, let’s go and join Mum.”

  Forty-five minutes later, they finally stood at her grandmother’s bedside, and Alexa felt all the fear that had gripped her drain away at the sight of her grandmother’s smiling face.

  “I’m not ready to join my friends,” Gran said with a wave of her hand, threatening to dislodge the cannula attached to the vein in her wrist.

  Alexa swallowed. She and Eleanor stared at each other in horror.

  “What do you mean, Granny? You’re not going anywhere.”

  “Oh, not that.” Gran giggled. “I’m not ready to move into the Merri Community Home just yet.” She turned to Eleanor, smiling sweetly. “Alexa and I have discussed my wishes many times. She knows exactly what I want. Don’t you, darling?”

  “I do, Gran,” Alexa said. “You’ve written down your instructions clearly. You’re staying at home for as long as you are able to be independent. You’re not ready for the Merri Community, and they sure as hell aren’t ready for you.” She winked at Eleanor, who had moved near the window.

  Gran chuckled. “You’ve got it.”

  There, in the tiny hospital room, were the two people who meant the most to Alexa in the whole world. Growing up, family was always defined by her mother and grandmother. Two strong, trustworthy women. After her mother’s death, her grandmother remained her rock. Alexa smiled as Eleanor helped adjust the pillows behind Gran’s back, fussing and making her more comfortable.

  It hadn’t taken long before her gran had Eleanor wrapped around her little finger. In fact, she’d trusted Eleanor from the day they met, recognising her qualities. It had taken Alexa longer. She had two strong and dependable women in her life again, and that meant everything.

  Eleanor laughed at something Gran said, and Alexa ticked off a box in her head. She loved that infectious laugh. Ticking off a few more boxes, there was also Eleanor’s creativity and imagination and her eye for detail. People seemed comfortable in Eleanor’s presence, and they trusted her with their stories—whether she was behind the camera or not.

  Feeling her face flush, Alexa sighed. Why had she been putting up obstacles? Maybe it was because of her family history. It might have been her unwillingness to change safe patterns of behaviour. She knew, though, that the true reason for the walls she built around herself was fear. Fear of rejection; fear of being abandoned. Alexa was tired of being afraid.

  She sat on the edge of her grandmother’s bed, leaned over, and whispered conspiratorially in her ear, “So, was this all a ploy to make me come to my senses about Eleanor? Because if it was, it worked.”

  “I’m so glad it did, dear,” Gran whispered back. “Haven’t I been telling you your turn would come?” She smiled sweetly. “Love. Splendid, if you can find it.”

  Now, Alexa just had to find the courage to tell Eleanor how she felt. Maybe it was time to finally roll the dice and take a chance.

  Chapter 28

  Unique wonder

  There was no way Eleanor would have let Alexa spend tonight alone. She would have suggested they go back to Alexa’s loft together, rather than leave her side. Eleanor’s limbs sagged with exhaustion after the intense emotion of the evening. Grace was being cared for, and it was good to be home with Alexa.

  Eleanor pushed open the studio door and waited for Alexa to enter. “Welcome to my temporary bolt hole.”

  Alexa paused, one hand on the door frame, and shot her a questioning look. “What do you mean, temporary?” She toed off her shoes, leaving them just inside the door.

  “You don’t think I’m going to live at my parents’ forever, do you? I’d like to eventually find my own place. Maybe somewhere closer to the city, with cobbled laneways and parkland, a strong sense of community—like where you and Grace live.” Walking distance from Alexa’s loft would be a bonus.

  Alexa smiled widely, taking a few steps inside, checking out the studio apartment. “That’s good to hear, but it looks like you’ll be giving up a lot,” she said, running her hands over the natural stone countertops. “Even a fully equipped ga
lley kitchen.”

  “I don’t use it much.” Eleanor laughed, closing the door behind her. “If I do move out on my own, I may need to take cooking lessons.” Eleanor walked over to join Alexa and watched, amused, as Alexa seemed to take in every detail of the kitchen appliances on display.

  “That’s right, you don’t enjoy cooking, do you? But you have other talents that make up for it.” Alexa poked Eleanor playfully in the ribs and spun around. “You have a rather tastefully furnished sitting room.”

  “Not my choice. I’m not into floral prints or French provincial furniture. I guess that’s the deal when you’re my age and lodging gratuitously with your parents.” Eleanor lowered her head and shoved her hands into her pockets. “At least Mum’s put some of my pictures on the walls.”

  Alexa stood in front of Eleanor’s photograph depicting a tea plantation. “This is Sri Lanka, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, they’re a Tamil community of tea-leaf pickers from the highlands.”

  “The colours of the women’s saris look fantastic against the green of the tea bushes. It’s one of my favourite images from your book,” Alexa said, turning to Eleanor. “Finally, I got to see it. When I spotted it on your parents’ coffee table, I couldn’t resist, and your dad was proud to show it to me.”

  “Oh dear, I’m so sorry about that.” Eleanor glanced at the ceiling. “You had to sit through his commentary about nearly every photo.”

  “Don’t be sorry.” Alexa squeezed Eleanor’s forearm, immediately putting her at ease. “The book is extraordinary. That photograph of the volunteers splashing around in the river with an enormous puma is just crazy. Amazing.”

  “I had no idea what I was doing.” Eleanor shook her head, remembering how naïve she’d been at the time. “The Bolivian jungle was so vivid, so supersaturated it was unreal. All around me, the trees were covered in orchids and dotted with monkeys and macaws. I was volunteering at the big cat refuge north of La Paz, and after a ten-minute briefing, we were sent to the river with two smaller jungle cats and a puma. Can you believe it?”

  “Absolutely unbelievable.” Alexa inclined her head towards Eleanor. “You travel a lot.”

  Although Alexa stated the obvious, there was a hint of a challenge in her frown. The transitory nature of Eleanor’s job had been a stumbling block from the start, and now Eleanor was ready to address it by tossing that block into a deep mine shaft.

  “I have,” Eleanor countered in a determined voice. “But Melbourne is home now.”

  “Okay.” Alexa’s lips turned up in a half-smile.

  Eleanor knew she’d given the right answer, not just to Alexa, but more importantly to herself. Melbourne really was home. Saying the words to Alexa made Eleanor’s decision that much more real and definite.

  Alexa pointed to the door leading off the galley kitchen. “Where does that go?”

  “A half-bath, laundry, my darkroom, and it leads out to the courtyard and pool.”

  “I’d like to see your darkroom sometime,” Alexa said. “You seem to have everything you need here. Except…” With her thumb, she indicated the stairway, asking with a cheeky grin, “I wonder what’s up there?”

  Eleanor yanked the fridge door and closed it again, suddenly unsure of her next move. She stalled. “Can I get you anything? A cold drink? Cup of tea? Ice cream?”

  Alexa raised her eyebrows and offered a bemused smile. “No thanks. That supper Joel threw together for us was just right. It was kind of your father to share his favourite single malt, considering he can’t drink at the moment.” She ran her tongue over her bottom lip seductively.

  Eleanor swallowed. “You’ve been through a lot today. What an emotional night.” She moved slowly towards Alexa, stopping when the tops of her sneakers touched the tips of Alexa’s toes.

  “It has. Now, I’m here with you, where I want to be.” Alexa reached for Eleanor’s arm and gently tugged until their bodies pressed firmly together. She held her tight.

  Eleanor hugged her back for a long time, until Alexa began relaxing into their embrace and Eleanor’s own tension dissolved. “I know things between us were moving fast, and you needed a bit of space, but I’m glad you didn’t hesitate to call me tonight.”

  When Eleanor looked up at her, Alexa’s hazel eyes were piercing, unguarded, and full of need. “Four days apart from you was way too long. I was such an idiot,” she said. “When they took Gran to hospital, you were the first person I thought of. The only one I wanted by my side.”

  “I couldn’t get to you fast enough. It’s a good thing Mum drove me, or I would have got more than one speeding ticket…or worse.” Eleanor spoke quietly in Alexa’s ear, “Did you mean it, when you introduced me to the doctor as your girlfriend?”

  Alexa eyelids fluttered. “You are, aren’t you?” She loosened her grip around Eleanor’s waist, snaking her arms underneath her shirt.

  Eleanor nodded. Her muscles twitched beneath the heat of Alexa’s touch.

  “We’re okay then.” Alexa inclined her head towards the stairs. “You never answered me before. Tell me, where do they lead?”

  Eleanor spoke in the calmest voice she could muster, “My bedroom.”

  “I’d like to see it now, please,” Alexa said in a raspy voice. She grazed her teeth along the sharp angles of Eleanor’s collarbone and captured her mouth in a fierce, toe-curling kiss.

  Eventually, they took a moment to catch their breaths and stared into each other’s eyes. Eleanor was stirred by the intoxicating mix of vulnerability and desire in Alexa’s gaze, igniting an equally powerful sense of protectiveness and longing. She closed her fingers around Alexa’s hand, bringing it to her mouth and gently licking the inside of her wrist. “Didn’t you want to see my bedroom?”

  They navigated the narrow staircase entwined, stopping only once to kiss hungrily on the landing until Eleanor’s knees began to shake and she hustled them as best she could to the top of the stairs.

  Inside her bedroom door, Eleanor held up a finger. “Give me a minute.” She clicked on a lamp and drew the blinds, gathering stray pieces of clothing along the way and tossing them into the open wardrobe, closing the door hurriedly. “I wasn’t expecting company tonight,” she said. “We left in a hurry. You’d never believe it from looking at this mess, but I’m usually quite organised and only have a limited selection of clothes.” She kicked a stray boot under the dresser and turned to Alexa. “And not many shoes.”

  Still staring at Eleanor with a faintly amused smile, Alexa asked, “I gather you left London in a hurry, then?”

  Eleanor nodded. “Yes, but over the years, essentially because of my work and constant travel, I learnt to do with less. I lived in a shared flat with a bedroom that was half the size of this.”

  Alexa’s gaze wandered leisurely around the room. “You have plenty of space here. What about your photographic paraphernalia? Didn’t you collect treasures travelling around the world? Where do you hide it all?”

  “My camera gear fits into a backpack or two. I do have special things from my travels and a few books I couldn’t part with…but not a lot. My flatmate is shipping the rest of my stuff home. It’ll go into the garage here until I find a place of my own.” Eleanor scanned her bedroom. Nothing was badly out of place, but she straightened the corner of the bedspread, just in case.

  “Eleanor.”

  “Yes?”

  “Are you nervous?” Alexa studied her with intense green eyes.

  Eleanor raised her shoulders and let them drop. “Maybe…a little.”

  Alexa stretched out her hand. She clasped Eleanor’s wrist and reeled her in until they connected with a soft whoosh. “Me too.” She pressed their foreheads together and sighed. “You’re so sweet and sexy. You needn’t have bothered to tidy the bed. We’re just going to mess it up again.” Her tongue stroked Eleanor’s bottom lip with a soft, sensual lick, and with one
hand on Eleanor’s chest, she propelled herself forward.

  Eleanor gasped as she landed on her back on the bed—with Alexa’s curves moulded to her. Their gazes met and held for a long moment. There was a mixture of rawness and tenderness in Alexa’s eyes. “I want you so much, Eleanor.” With a roll of her leg, she straddled Eleanor’s hips.

  Whatever concerns Eleanor had about Alexa’s previous uncertainties fell away as tingling heat coursed through her body.

  “From the very first time I touched you, it’s been like this for me.” Alexa leaned down and whispered against Eleanor’s lips, “You light a fire in me. Feel how my heart beats like a hummingbird’s wings.” She pressed Eleanor’s hand against her chest. “This has everything to do with you. It’s like my first time…”

  Eleanor slid her hands underneath Alexa’s cotton sweater. She took a shuddering breath, intoxicated by the full, silky softness of Alexa’s skin. “Let me show you how I feel.”

  Alexa’s left brow lifted almost imperceptibly.

  “Is everything all right?” Eleanor asked.

  “Yes.” Alexa stroked her fingers delicately across Eleanor’s forehead, over her chin, and down her neck. “I want you, Eleanor—more than anything. I’m sorry it’s taken so long for me to say it. But it’s not just how my body reacts to you. I want you in my life. All of you. I love you, Eleanor, so much,” Alexa whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek.

  Eleanor struggled to keep her own tears at bay. “I love you, too.”

  “I know.” Alexa squeezed her eyes shut, her long lashes dotted with tears.

  Eleanor raised herself on her elbows and stared at Alexa with wide eyes. “You know? How do you know?”

  “I heard you in the cottage that morning. You thought I was asleep.”

  “You heard me? Weren’t you asleep?” Eleanor pulled her shirt collar up, covering her face to hide her embarrassment. “You’ve known all this time? Why didn’t you say anything?” she mumbled through the cloth.