Heartfelt

by Danielle Allen

“Oh… God…” She cried out as I pushed myself deeper. Even though she was dripping wet, she was still tight so I took my time.

  Fuck me, I thought, working my way into her. It always felt like slicing into butter when I eased into her.

  I held my position inside of her and let her adjust. It just about killed me to remain still, but I held my position. I knew it would pay off in the end. When I didn’t move fast enough, Bianca started grinding her hips against me. She was working herself up and down my shaft and I let her for a full minute.

  The rapid bursts of air from my ragged breathing coupled with the soft, sexy grunts she let out every few seconds only intensified the moment for me.

  “I want to hear you beg for it.” I demanded, not completely sure I could restrain myself for too much longer.

  She let her head dangle languidly. “Please, Ro. Please fuck me.”

  “Oh shit,” I groaned softly, flexing my fingers against her hips. The throaty purr of her voice always did something to me.

  Bianca must have felt her effect on me because she continued, “I need you inside of me. Please, Ro.” Her voice hitched sexily and I lost control.

  Keeping one hand firmly planted on her hip and the other twisted in the soft curls of her hair, I slid into her in one stroke and we moaned in unison.

  I held myself in place as deep as I could go. I pulled her hair, making her head lift to the ceiling. Feeling her clench her muscles, the wet heat clamping down around me made my toes curl.

  I sucked in a sharp breath between my teeth. “Bianca,” I called out hoarsely. Untangling my fingers from her hair, I grabbed her other hip and let loose, ramming into her.

  As I continued to thrust my hips, she threw her ass back to meet me. Each moan she let out became louder than the one before and it wasn’t long before she was crying out in ecstasy again. When her back arched and her body shook, my body stiffened. The ache deep inside of me became unbearable as I felt her quivering around my dick. My eyes shut tightly and my head fell back. Her release triggered mine and I exploded.

  As our bodies came down from the high we were riding, all I could hear was our heavy, satiated breathing.

  And then a knock on the door.

  We both froze.

  Shit! How long have we been in here?

  Bianca looked at me over her shoulder with panic in her eyes and tried to stand straight up.

  I shook my head, keeping her in a bent over position. Leaning toward the shelf, I grabbed a few tissues and then slid out of her slowly. After using the tissues to clean her up, I rubbed her sexy ass and backed away from her.

  I handed her the t-shirt she was wearing and then I proceeded to clean myself up.

  I cannot get arrested for public lewdness or indecent exposure or whatever the fuck we could get charged with for having sex in a public bathroom. Charlotte Spence would drop me from her client list. Shit, I complained as I zipped my jeans.

  Turning around, I watched Bianca fix her hair in the mirror. She was chewing on the corner of her lip and my pulse quickened. I licked my lips and realized I would do it all over again for her.

  The realization caught me off guard. Checking my watch, I averted my eyes.

  “Shit, our plane has probably started boarding.” My voice was low in case the person outside was still there. I grabbed my duffle bag and her luggage.

  She staggered over to me, speaking quietly. “You go out first and wait for me at the gate so we don’t get caught. I’ll be right behind you.”

  “No, I’m not leaving you. We’ll go out together. Fuck it. It’s a family restroom and we are a family.”

  I didn’t hear what I said until after the words were out of my mouth, but it was too late. I didn’t even mean it the way it came out.

  I don’t think.

  Opening the door, I peeked out and didn’t see anyone waiting. Allowing Bianca to walk out first, she clutched her jacket in her hands and we made a beeline for the almost empty gate. We were the last people to make it onto the plane, but we made it.

  “Just in time,” Bianca said as she plopped down in her seat next to the window.

  I stuffed her bag in the overhead compartment and then took my seat beside her.

  “Thank you for…” She smiled mischievously, her brown eyes shining. “Everything.”

  Stroking the side of her face, I brought my forehead to hers. “The pleasure was all mine, baby.”

  “Please put on your seatbelts,” the flight attendant interrupted in a bored tone.

  I turned around and the flight attendant’s eyes widened. She licked her lips and her cheeks became red. “Do you need anything before we get started?”

  Glancing over at Bianca, I saw her staring at the flight attendant with her eyebrows raised.

  “No,” I said slowly. “My girlfriend and I are good. Thank you though.”

  “My name is Nikki. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”

  I felt my eyebrows come together in confusion.

  I know I made it clear I was with my girlfriend.

  Turning in my seat to look at Bianca, I waited for her to say something.

  Tapping her nose with her finger, Bianca gave me a perplexed look. “I’m just curious… does that mean that Nikki wants me to hesitate to ask?”

  Laughing louder than socially appropriate on a plane, I felt my heart swell. Kissing her between her giggles, I sighed. “You are hilarious.”

  The pilot made an announcement and I sobered up quickly.

  We are on our way to my hometown for William’s funeral, I thought, the humor leaving my body so suddenly that I felt shaky.

  I looked at my watch and then ran my hand down my face. “So we should be there around ten o’clock.”

  Sliding her hand over mine, Bianca nudged me with her shoulder. The feeling of her soft hands running over my skin calmed my nerves immediately.

  “Hey,” she said softly. “Look at me.”

  I turned my head so that we were eye to eye.

  Bianca ran her fingertips over the stubble that covered my jaw. “There’s nothing we can’t get through together.”

  Licking my lips, I drew back a little, taking in her whole face. My eyes roamed over the gentle slope of her nose, the fullness of her lips, the smoothness of her skin, the beautiful chocolate brown of her eyes.

  I hope I don’t fuck this up, I thought, as my heart sped up.

  “You’re pretty special, you know that?”

  “I love you, too,” Bianca replied, planting a soft kiss against my lips. “And I’m here for you. Whatever you need, whenever you need it.”

  Acknowledging the need I felt for her was dangerous because each day I fell more in love with her. Each day, I was more certain that there was no one else in the world for me. And each night, I was more certain that long distance relationships were not for me.

  I would never ask Bianca to give up her dream job for me. Even if she did it, and I don’t think she would, she would resent me for making her choose. I love Bianca and I love art. Art has always been a part of me. I live and breathe art. I couldn’t live without art. But I’m starting to realize that I don’t think I can live without Bianca. So now what?

  “What are you thinking?” Bianca asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

  I was quiet for a minute. “That I’m lucky.”

  Her eyes lit up and she cocked her head to the side, smiling.

  “I was able to use my credit card points to get upgraded to these seats,” I continued.

  Bianca’s smile turned into pursed lips as she glared at me. Her shoulders started shaking and then seconds later, she burst out laughing. “I can’t stand you.”

  Pulling her into my arms at an awkward angle since we were both strapped into our seats, I kissed the top of her head.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” I murmured, breathing in her vanilla and coconut scent.

  “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, Ro.”

  ----------

  Chapte
r Four

  I hoisted my duffle bag over my shoulder as I pulled Bianca’s suitcase behind me. With Bianca a couple of steps in front of me, I was able to appreciate the way her ass looked in her jeans.

  “B,” I called out to her as she made a beeline for the exit. “Why are you moving so fast?”

  “It must be the New Yorker in me.” She turned around and started walking backwards. “But seriously, I don’t want to get to Elizabeth’s house really late. That’s not a good first impression and I want her to like me. Mothers can be very territorial about their sons. If we show up at her house at midnight, that’ll be one strike against me.”

  “Slow down. You have nothing to worry about.”

  Why does the fact that she’s nervous tie my stomach in knots?

  “Why are you smiling?” Bianca groaned, coming to a stop. “I’m a little nervous!”

  ”I see that.”

  “So why are you laughing at me?” Her voice raised comically.

  “I’m not laughing at you,” I chuckled, stopping about a foot away from her. “You’re really cute when you’re like this.”

  Cocking her head to the side, she put her hands on her hips.

  “Believe me, staying with her was not the plan originally. But when she called last night and asked if we could stay, I agreed. I know I didn’t give you a lot of notice, but the way she was crying and… Watch out!”

  Bianca moved toward me, just narrowly avoiding being hit by a kid who was running down the corridor. She whipped her head in the direction of the blur, widening her eyes.

  “What the hell was that?”

  Wrapping my arms around her, I gazed down at her shocked face. Smiling, I kissed her chastely. “Stick with me. I’ll keep you safe,” I whispered into her ear.

  Bianca giggled softly before wiggling out of my arms. “Come on, Ro! We have to go! It would’ve been easier if I would’ve met her when we were just friends. Now that we’re together, there’s this pressure to impress her that I wouldn’t ordinarily feel.”

  ”You don’t have to impress anyone.” I readjusted my duffle bag and wrapped my other arm around her shoulders. “Just being who you are is impressive enough.”

  She smiled and I could tell my words caught her off guard. Seeming satisfied with my answer, we strolled out of the airport at a normal pace.

  Grabbing one of the waiting taxis, we climbed into the backseat. I gave the older man the directions to the house I grew up in and he typed it into the GPS.

  He peppered me with questions and I politely answered, keeping an eye on Bianca the entire time. She was quietly chewing the corner of her bottom lip as she stared out of the window.

  When the driver turned up his music and began to sing, I looked over at Bianca.

  “What’s wrong, B?”

  Turning toward me, the corner of her lips turned upward in an easy smile. She put her head on my shoulder. “Just thinking.”

  Shit… This could go either way.

  My heart rate spiked as I waited for her to elaborate. I stared straight ahead as we coasted down the highway. Taking a deep breath, I cleared my throat. “About?”

  “You. Us. Life.”

  “Oh, that’s all?” I scoffed jokingly, even though my chest felt like it was going to cave in.

  I felt her head shift on my shoulder and her lips press against my neck.

  “How are you?”

  “Fine.”

  “How are you?” Bianca repeated. Her voice was just as gentle, but I heard the emphasis on each word.

  “Being back is just…different. The last time I was here, I was meeting with Elizabeth and William to finally talk about everything. Over the last couple of months, I’d talked to William more than I had over the last eight years. He was a good man…” My sentence trailed off. Turning to kiss her face, I sighed. “I’m glad I took the time to hear him out. To hear them both out.”

  “I’m glad you took the time to reconnect with them.”

  I nodded, but didn’t say anything else.

  Talking to them this summer lifted a weight off of me. But now…

  I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply.

  “You made amends. You forgave them. You loved each other. Those are the things that matter.”

  With my head resting atop hers, I kept my eyes closed and my mouth shut for the rest of the ride.

  “We’re here,” I announced, gently rousing Bianca awake. The taxi slowed to a stop right in front of the driveway. Before getting out of the car, I paid the tab. “Thank you.”

  “Thank you, sir. I hope you enjoy your stay,” the driver replied, popping the trunk. After we removed our luggage, he gave us a wave and pulled off.

  “Are you ready?” Bianca asked.

  No.

  Taking her hand, I led her up the driveway to the two-story house. My eyes locked with the shiny black truck parked in front of Elizabeth’s car and my body tensed.

  Bianca must’ve noticed because she squeezed my hand. Looking over at her, I gave her a small smile. With her a couple of steps behind me, I lifted my fist to knock on the door.

  “Roman!” Elizabeth yelled as she swung the door open. My hand was still hanging in mid-air.

  Dressed in black silk pajamas and her blonde hair in a bun, Elizabeth looked effortlessly pulled together.

  Especially considering it was a little after eleven on the night before her husband’s funeral.

  “Hi Elizabeth,” I said, leaning forward, giving her a one-armed hug as we walked through the door. “This is my girlfriend, Bianca Baker. Bianca, this is Elizabeth.”

  “Hello Bianca! Roman, she’s beautiful!”

  Smiling, I looked over at Bianca and I could see her nervousness leaving her body. “Hi, Elizabeth. Thank you for having me.”

  Swatting her outstretched hand away, Elizabeth pulled Bianca into a hug. “Thank you for being here. Take your coat off. I have some coffee and tea ready and some pastries left over from the wake. Roman, take the bags upstairs and meet me and Bianca in the kitchen.”

  Grasping her hand, Elizabeth led Bianca down the hallway in the direction of the kitchen before I had a chance to respond.

  Chuckling to myself, I headed upstairs to my former bedroom which was converted years ago to a guest bedroom. Dropping our bags on the floor at the foot of the bed, I looked around the room.

  I haven’t been in here in eight years.

  The room was decorated differently, but the pictures on the wall were still the same. The picture that caught my eye was of me and William about twenty-two years ago.

  That was a good day.

  William had set up a couple of easels and canvases on the beach so we could paint. That wasn’t the day I fell in love with art, but it was the day that I decided that I wanted to paint for the rest of my life.

  “Roman? Are you okay?” Bianca asked from the doorway.

  Tearing my eyes away from the picture, I nodded. “Yeah, I was just about to come down.”

  “Elizabeth got a phone call so I gave her some privacy and came looking for you.”

  Taking a few tentative steps toward me, I could see her assessing and analyzing me. I bristled under her gaze. It was surreal having Bianca in the place I associated with so much pain for so long. It was uncomfortable and comforting at the same time. The conflicting emotions were warring inside of me.

  I ran both hands up and down my face twice trying to calm down and clear my mind. “Why are you looking at me like that?” My voice sounded strained.

  Bianca was quiet for a minute, tilting her head to the side. “Because I love you,” she answered simply.

  The dull ache in my chest cavity was back.

  “That’s him isn’t it?” Bianca asked, pointing to the picture I was just looking at.

  “Yeah.”

  “How did…?”

  Even though her question trailed off, I knew what she was asking.

  “Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy.”

  She shook her head, giving me a he
lpless look.

  “Basically a heart attack. Pretty much the same thing that happened to Benjamin last year.”

  “Oh wow—”

  “Roman, Bianca,” Elizabeth interrupted, causing us to whip around. “I’m sorry about that. That was Grandma Pearl.” She looked at Bianca. “William’s mother.”

  “How’s she doing?” I asked, lacing my fingers together and sitting them on top of my head.

  Elizabeth tucked her hair behind her ear and gave us a strained smile. “She’s okay. She’s looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.” She dabbed at her eye. “I need a distraction so enough of that right now. Bianca, tell me about yourself.”

  “Well, I graduated from VCU with a Ph.D. in Curatorial Studies. I am currently working under Nina Lowe as an assistant. I love art. I’m not as good as Ro, but I paint when I get the chance. My main focus is on event planning and curating at the moment. Oh and I love traveling.” Bianca lifted her shoulders slightly as if she didn’t know what to say next.

  I could tell her nerves were creeping back in. Her body language was changing so I stepped in. “She is amazing at what she does. She tries to downplay her artistic skills, but she’s a talented artist. And when the time is right, she’s going to be the top curator in New York,” I boasted proudly.

  Bianca’s eyes lit up and her face flushed. Reaching out, I ran my hand down her back.

  “That’s great.” Elizabeth looked between us before she added, “So you are a curator?”

  “No, not yet,” she answered slowly. “I’m an assistant. I’m learning the ropes.”

  “But it won’t be long before she is running her own business.”

  Bianca wrapped her arms around me, the soft fleshiness of her body melding into mine. “He’s a smooth talker, this one.”

  Smiling, I kissed the top of her head.

  Elizabeth looked at us long and hard with glassy eyes. “How long have you two been together?”

  “One whole month,” Bianca answered playfully.

  “Wow.” Tucking her hair behind her ear, Elizabeth lifted her lips in a sad version of a smile. “I’m going to let you two get settled in. Have a good night.”

  “Goodnight,” Bianca and I said in unison.

  As soon as the door clicked closed, Bianca let out a breath. “Ro.”