Heartfelt

by Danielle Allen

  I’ll see you when I get home, I repeated, my heart constricting.

  “Home.” I tasted the word on my lips and smiled. They say home is where the heart is and I never understood that until Bianca said home.

  Heading into the kitchen, I grabbed a bowl and filled it with cereal and milk. Sliding an art magazine in front of my bowl, I sat at the counter and started to read.

  The article on the fourth page about using red wine as paint caught my eye. I laughed to myself as I chewed the whole grain cereal. Skimming the article, I reminisced about the email exchange I had with Bianca almost a year ago.

  She mentioned she was considering going on a date with this man who taught her to paint with wine. She said that it would be a good distraction from the on-again, off-again dramatics of her ex-boyfriend. I told her not to go because he wasn’t good enough for her and she didn’t go. I remembered feeling something when she said she trusted my judgment and wasn’t going to go.

  But now that I think about it, I wonder if the reason no one was ever good enough for B in my eyes was because I was always in love with her.

  I dropped my spoon in the bowl, swallowing the last bite. The thought ran through me like a chill.

  A year ago, she was my best friend and I only admitted it begrudgingly at first. She was my best friend before I even noticed it was happening. Just like that friendship snuck up on me, the love I have for her snuck up on me. And now, after two months of dating, I’m moving to New York to be with her. And we are moving in together.

  “This is moving fast,” I mumbled under my breath.

  Nerves twisted in my stomach just thinking about it. Running my hands down my face, I sighed.

  Don’t fuck this up.

  Walking to Bianca’s bedroom, I caught the tail end of my phone vibrating against the nightstand. Rushing to my side of the bed, I see that I missed Bianca’s call. She called from her Pho Gallery phone line, but didn’t leave a message.

  Should I call her back since she is on thin ice with Nina?

  Debating back and forth for a minute, I decided to text her.

  Roman Harper: Hey Beautiful. I was eating breakfast and I missed your call. Call me back.

  The chirping noise on the other side of the bed startled me. Looking around, I saw her phone sitting behind a book.

  She left her phone. She’s never without her phone. I shook my head. She’s probably going crazy right now.

  Standing up, I decided to walk over to Pho Gallery to take her phone to her.

  Changing from basketball shorts to jeans, I grabbed my leather jacket and headed out of the bedroom. With my phone in my hand, I started to call Charlotte to set up a meeting when Bianca’s phone went off in my jacket pocket. Pulling it out, I saw the name Stanley Baker flashing across the screen. Lifting my eyebrows, I tucked her phone back in my pocket.

  She hasn’t wanted to talk about her parents since the party. I wonder if she’s talked to them at all.

  I made it halfway across the living room when the front door burst open. I stopped in my tracks.

  “Roman!” Amber exclaimed, pulling a man behind her.

  I glanced over at him, giving him a nod and then looked back at her. “Hey Amber.”

  “This is my boyfriend, Jacob. J.J.’s father.” She turned to Jacob. “This is Roman. Bianca’s boyfriend.”

  “Hey, man. Nice to meet you,” I greeted him, sticking my hand out to shake it.

  “Yeah, you too. I’ve heard a lot about you.” He shook my hand firmly, seemingly sizing me up.

  “You too.” I sized him up, too. I had a height advantage on him, but he weighed more. If shit ever went down, I could take him.

  After a beat, Jacob motioned his head toward Amber. “She gives you her stamp of approval so you’re good with me.”

  “Well alright then.” We slapped our hands together once more. Looking back at Amber, I informed her of my plans. “I’m going to be out for a couple of hours. Do you two need any help moving anything?”

  “No, this is actually all Mr. and Mrs. Baker’s stuff. We’ve packed all of my stuff. Everything is in boxes so J.J. and I have been living day to day out of a duffle bag for the last couple of nights. The movers come tomorrow. And then we are officially out of here.” She looked around with a small smile. “This apartment is amazing. Bianca probably can’t wait to have the place to herself.”

  “Okay, well if you need any help, I’ll be back later.”

  While saying our goodbyes, I felt Bianca’s phone going off in my pocket. Checking it, I saw it was her father again.

  Something’s not right.

  Before I made the decision to pick up the phone, the call ended. Walking leisurely out of the building, I zipped up my jacket as I make my way to Pho Gallery. Seeing flowers in the window of a market, I went in and purchased them. When I left out, something felt different.

  I was only a block away from the gallery when Mr. Baker’s number flashed across the screen again.

  “Mr. Baker?” I answered, sidestepping a man and his dog. “This is Roman Harper. Bianca left her phone at home.”

  “Oh Roman, hello!” He sounded surprised. “How are you?”

  Thinking about everything that had happened over the last twelve hours, I smirked. “I’m really good. How are you?”

  “I’m well, thanks for asking. How’s Bianca? I’ve been calling her all week. She won’t answer.”

  I slowed my pace.

  Shit… should I have answered the phone?

  Clearing my throat, I responded simply. “Oh.”

  “I just want to talk to her about everything that happened last weekend. It hasn’t been sitting right with me. I had an offsite meeting with a pharmaceutical company and I got a call from Park Place telling me that my property was going to be vacant. They asked if I was interested in renting the property out.”

  Although I could hear the confusion in his voice, I didn’t understand where the confusion came from. Bianca said she was going to move out.

  “Do you know anything about this?” Mr. Baker asked, bringing me back to the conversation.

  “I think it’d be best if you spoke with your daughter.”

  “I’ve been trying!” He let out a huff of air. “I’ve been trying,” he repeated in a resigned tone. “She won’t answer the phone.”

  I didn’t know what to say.

  “And as I’m sure you know, we don’t have the closest of relationships, but when we call, she answers. We knew that she was taken care of because we were providing for her. And now…I’m sorry, Roman. Especially after the awkward position my wife and I put you in last weekend. I hate to put you in the middle of something else. But please, have Bianca call me.”

  “I’ll give her your message.”

  “You’re a good man, son. I’m glad she has someone like you.” He paused. “The character of a man says more about him than his bank account.”

  Running my hand down my face, I replied, “I agree. I’ll give her your message.”

  Disconnecting the line, I couldn’t stop thinking about what was going on with Bianca and her parents.

  I know it’s not unusual for her to not talk to them for a while, but she hasn’t said anything about them since the big fight. And her dad sounded concerned. And apologetic. Maybe she should have a conversation with them.

  I’d kept Elizabeth and William at bay for eight years and even after I made amends with them over the summer, I never really regretted my decision to remain distant from them until William passed away.

  Because then it was too late.

  Slowing to a stop, I inspected the glass of Pho Gallery. It looked freshly washed and impossibly clean. It was clear that they had work done on the windows.

  Opening the gallery door, I heard Bianca’s voice.

  “Pho Gall—Roman!” The shocked excitement that dripped from her voice emanated from her body as she smiled at me.

  I made my way across the room to her. “Hi.” I gave her a chaste kiss. �
�How are you?” Lowering my voice, I asked, “Is Nina here?”

  Bianca nodded and rolled her eyes.

  “For you.” I presented the flowers and cell phone to her, stepping back and allowing separation between us.

  “Oh my God,” she whisper-screamed, throwing her arms around me. “I thought I was going to go crazy. Thank you!”

  “Of course. Is everything okay? With Nina, I mean?” I whispered into her ear.

  “Yeah, it’s just—”

  “Bianca!” Nina called from a back room. “I need—”

  Bianca and I startled away from one another, dropping our hands to our sides.

  Nina Lowe’s heels clicked against the floor as her steps slowed. She looked the part of a gallery owner in her black dress, thick rimmed glasses.

  “Hello, I’m Nina Lowe. Welcome to Pho Gallery.” Her hand outstretched to mine.

  “Hi, I’m—”

  “Roman Harper,” she interrupted, shaking my hand firmly.

  I looked at Bianca and smiled. “Yes, I’m Roman Harper. Nice to meet you, Nina.”

  “Bianca mentioned that she knew you over the weekend. I had no idea how familiar she was with you.” She gave Bianca a look, eyebrows raised.

  Not knowing what to say, I looked at Bianca.

  “Nina, Roman is my boyfriend.”

  “Well I would hope so from the way you two had your hands all over each other,” she laughed, diffusing the situation. “We should talk about a future exhibition I want to put together in celebration of the new artists that are making a splash. I want to call it A Year In Review. I’ll be in touch with Charlotte Spence.” Turning to look at Bianca, she winked. “Come see me when your boyfriend leaves.”

  “Okay.” Bianca stretched the word out, a hint of perplexity hanging in the air.

  Once Nina was out of earshot, Bianca’s eyebrows wrinkled. “She was kind of standoffish this morning and then you get here and she’s all perky and winking at me. Whatever.” She shook her head. “Hi.”

  I smiled. “Hi.” I paused. “So…I talked to your dad today.”

  “What?” All signs of amusement left her face.

  “Yeah, he kept calling your phone so I answered it to tell him that you left your phone at home. He wants you to call him.”

  “Yeah well we don’t always get the things that we want.”

  I tilted my head. “B.”

  “Ro.”

  “I just don’t want you to regret not talking to him. He sounded apologetic.”

  “Yeah well, he sounded like an asshole last weekend.”

  I lifted my hands up in surrender, holding back a laugh. “I just wanted to give you the message. I told him I would.”

  She put her hands on her full hips. My eyes followed the curve of her body. Her body was rigid with attitude. Her face was set with pursed lips and hardened features.

  “Why are you so sexy when you’re mad?” I asked, changing the subject.

  “You don’t think so when my wrath is directed at you,” she quipped, pointing into my chest.

  Bringing my hands to her face, I tilted her head upward. “Now would I give you any reason to be angry at me?”

  She chuckled with her full, throaty laugh and warmth filled me.

  Kissing her lightly, I said, “Call me when you are on your way home. I want to show you the apartment I found first and then we can see yours.”

  “You’re going to love mine. It seriously is the best place ever for the best price.” She smiled widely. “I don’t think you can top this place, but I’ll humor you.”

  “Challenge accepted.”

  ----------

  Chapter Nineteen

  “Sorry I’m late. Do you think it’s problematic that Nina was peppering me with questions about you from the moment you walked out? Her shift in personality was night and day,” Bianca said as she stalked up to me outside of Park Place.

  “Problematic? No. Interesting? Yes,” I replied, scooping her up in my arms in front of the doorman.

  “Why interesting? I want to make it on my own and now she’s treating me like she used to treat me before all of that weird stuff started happening.”

  “Well, that’s a good thing right?”

  Bianca eased out of my arms. “It would be a good thing if she treated me like this because she knows that whoever defaced her property is crazy and it is in no way a reflection on me. It would be a good thing if she treated me like she knows I’m a hell of a curator. It is questionable that she’s treating me better because she thinks this gives her an inside track with Charlotte Spence.”

  Her beautiful face was twisted in annoyance.

  “Hey.” Grabbing her arms and pulling her into me, I held her still. “Let’s not talk about work right now.”

  Her pursed lips straightened into a tight smile as her eyes narrowed.

  I laughed. “Good.”

  She gave me a genuine smile and wrapped her arms around me.

  “Better.”

  Letting her go, I produced a black scarf I found in her closet. “I’m going to blindfold you because I want this to be a surprise.”

  Her eyes lit up. “I like the sound of this. But is it necessary? The sun is already setting. It’ll be dark soon so I may not know where I’m going anyway.”

  “Just go with it.”

  “Blindfold me.”

  After securing the scarf around her eyes and making sure she couldn’t see, I leaned forward, letting my lips graze her ear. “I like hearing you say that,” I growled softly.

  She giggled and her skin flushed. “Ro, who can hear you?”

  “Does it matter?”

  She started to say something when I covered her mouth with my own.

  “There’s something so sexy about you blindfolded, B.”

  Her smile was incomparable.

  “Now,” I continued, “I’m going to place these in your ears so you can’t hear what’s going on either. You’ll just have to follow my lead.”

  I placed the earbuds in her ear and started the playlist.

  “I love this song,” Bianca yelled, unaware of how loudly she was speaking. She started humming and moving her shoulders in time with the beat.

  Glancing over to the doorman, he gave me an amused smile and nod.

  Taking Bianca by the hand, I spun her around six times until I felt like she was sufficiently discombobulated. Walking across the street, I hailed a taxi. Once inside, I had the taxi drive around the block twice before dropping us back off at Park Place.

  The doorman gave me a nod as he opened the door for us. Moving across the lobby quickly, I kept one hand on her hip, guiding her the entire time. Slipping into the elevator, I felt the couple who entered with us give me questioning looks. I ignored them.

  Once they got off the elevator, I turned down Bianca’s music.

  “We’re in an elevator,” she pointed out.

  “Yes.”

  The elevator dinged and we exited the car, standing in front of the deluxe apartment. Taking my key out of my pocket, I felt a fresh wave of nerves I hadn’t felt since telling Bianca I wanted to move in with her.

  “We didn’t go that far so I feel like we’re still near Pho which is a good thing,” Bianca continued, oblivious to the panic attack I was on the brink of having.

  I opened the door and guided her through the living room and into the room with the window wall. The sun was setting behind buildings and I knew I didn’t have much time. Taking her earbuds out altogether, I stood in front of her and looked around the open space. My stomach churned and my heart fluttered. Rubbing the heel of my hand into the space above my heart, I took a deep breath.

  “B,” I started. “There are a couple of things I need to tell you.”

  “You’re scaring me, Ro.” She reached up to her blindfold.

  I grabbed her hands and brought them to my heart.

  “Your heart is racing. What’s the matter?” Her voice quivered quietly.

  I didn’t mean to scare he
r, but I didn’t know how she was going to react. Keeping her hands against my chest, I opened and closed my eyes twice.

  “Roman? What is it? Say something?”

  She was starting to freak out and I knew I had to tell her.

  “There are some things you don’t know about me.”

  She stopped. I felt like I could hear the air leave her body as her arms became rigid.

  “If you tell me you’re married—”

  “I’m not married.”

  “Then what is it? You’re really freaking me out.”

  “I already bought this apartment. And I want you to stay here with me.”

  “Oh…” She pouted for a second before her lips turned up into a smile. “We’ll figure it out. I’ll have to review my contract to see if I can get out of it.”

  “Are you upset?” Letting her hands go, I moved behind her, shifting her closer to the window wall.

  “I’m disappointed. I think you would’ve been happy with the place I picked. The view alone in this one room would’ve been perfect for us. It could’ve been our in-home studio.” She paused. “You can’t make decisions like this about us without me—” Her voice cut out into a gasp when I took the blindfold off. She whipped around, her mouth agape.

  “Surprise.” My voice was low, raw.

  “No way.” She turned around to get a better look at the room. “No fucking way.”

  I laughed. “Yes fucking way.”

  “What did you do? I don’t—if this is some sort of joke, that’s not okay with me.” Her eyes filled with tears. “Did you buy me out of my contract? Offer to pay more or something? I don’t understand.”

  I ran my hands down my face. Taking a deep breath, I admitted, “I actually signed the lease the last time I was here. It’s a rent to own so it’s not permanent if you don’t want it to be. I took it over from the previous tenant and then I had Keisha offer it to you at a discounted price. After everything that happened with your parents, I didn’t want you to have to leave a place you loved because of all that bullshit that happened with them so…”

  With her hair pulled into a messy bun on the top of her head and tears in her eyes and the sun setting behind her, she was absolutely stunning.