~~~
They’d arrived at the shore. It had been a relatively long trip, so they were all happy to get out of the car and go into the cottage. The girls loved it here and it was great to see all the happy faces. Even Carrie seemed happier than when they started out.
“Who’s hungry?” Ray was starving. “I want pizza!”
Carrie of course wanted nothing to do with it. “I’m not hungry yet. You guys go ahead. Bring me back a slice for later.”
“Okay girls, off we go. Last one there is a rotten egg.” Ray and the girls took off running, while Carrie stayed behind to unpack.
~~~
Carrie had been thinking a lot about Ray’s email ‘friend’. She wondered if she should believe him. It wasn’t like the Ray she knew to do something like this, but then again, she really didn’t know him anymore. She realized how much they’d grown apart after the shock of reading that email. She had decided last night she wanted to try and save her marriage, but deep down she knew there just wasn’t a marriage to save. Maybe Ray was right and he was just talking to someone online and it meant nothing. She hoped so. She wasn’t ready to face the world alone.
~~~
Diego was on his way up to the beach. He loved it there. You just can’t beat women in thongs on the beach. Plus good food and good friends…he was definitely looking forward to it.
After his last discussion with Ray, he was surprised at this sudden invite. He wondered where the relationship stood. Maybe Ray had changed his mind and decided to stay. Somehow, he didn’t think so, but he’d be able to assess it better when he saw them together. He looked forward to hanging out with them. It always proved to be fun.
Diego parked at the cottage. It seemed quiet. He got out of the car and took a deep breath of the salty air. How he loved it! He knocked on the cottage door. “I have arrived! Let the games begin!”
Ray came to the door laughing. “Diego, my friend. So glad you could make it. Come in to the house of fun. The girls will be thrilled.” He got out of the way to let him in. “Girls, look who’s here.” Ray yelled.
“Hey, Uncle D! How are you? Ready to hit the beach?” the girls asked him. They all looked pleased to see him. Glenda went up and gave her godfather a big hug.
“I am ready, willing and thank God, able. Let’s do it!” Diego rustled all of them up in a big bear hug. Having no kids of his own, he cherished Ray’s girls as if they were his.
Carrie came out of the room where she’d been reading. She didn’t look happy to see him. “Hi Diego,” She regretted having Ray invite him. She really didn’t feel like socializing, or pretending all was well. But it was too late now. “Jane didn’t come?” Jane was Diego’s wife.
“Nope, she’s working and couldn’t get away. So you are stuck with just me. I’m sure I can entertain you enough for both of us.” Diego walked over to give Carrie a hug. He noted it was like hugging a statue.
“I’m sure so. Some things never change.” With that she retreated back into the bedroom.
Diego looked at Ray with a raised eyebrow. “What was that all about?”
Ray just shrugged his shoulders. “Little Mary Sunshine strikes again. Don’t worry about it.” He clapped Diego on the shoulder. “Let’s go scrounge up some grub.”
“That sounds good to me. Let’s go girls!” Diego had been a little disturbed by Carrie’s greeting, but decided to let it go. “I could eat a horse!”
~~~
Bedtime was the most awkward time of all. Diego would be sacking out on the couch, which meant the bedroom for Carrie and Ray. They hadn’t slept together in so long; they were like strangers sleeping together by force. Carrie went to bed first and read her book so they didn’t have to talk. Ray crawled into bed, feeling very ill at ease, not knowing how to act. He had so many things reeling through his mind. They were on vacation. Usually, bedtime for a happy husband and wife on vacation would mean intimacy. He had invited her to take a stroll on the beach after the kids had settled down for the night, but of course she wasn’t interested. He didn’t even know why he had asked, maybe just to see what response he’d get. Carrie didn’t disappoint him.
“Why would we do that?” she had snapped.
“I just thought it would be a nice thing to do. It’s beautiful out there at sunset. It would be…romantic.”
Carrie snorted, “Romantic?” Carrie had stared at Ray for a long time, got up and left the room.
Ray didn’t know what to make of this. He felt horrible in more ways than one. First, his wife hated him. It was that simple. Secondly, he felt like he was betraying Amanda for even asking Carrie. But he felt if he didn’t at least make a last ditch effort with Carrie, he was being unfair to all involved. He stared out the window and wondered how many times he could stand being slapped in the face as he just was. He’d taken that walk alone.
He wished he were here with Amanda. He felt horrible lying in bed with his wife, thinking about another woman. He also felt he knew if Amanda were with him, things would be so different. They’d actually have a vacation together. They’d stroll on the beach, hand in hand, kissing in the reflection of the moon off the water. They’d anxiously go to bed and hold each other, talking and kissing until they both fell asleep. He could imagine her in his arms. He didn’t know why he felt so strongly about this, he just knew he did. He wanted it so much.
He turned towards Carrie. “Carrie, maybe we should talk about the other night.” He sat up and looked at her. She continued to read. “Carrie, did you hear me? We need to talk about our marriage.” He was amazed that she wouldn’t even turn to look at him.
“Yes,” she replied vehemently. “I heard you. No, I don’t want to talk about it. Not now, not ever. Whatever you’re doing on that Internet had better stop, Ray. I mean it! As for our marriage, you just remember you’re married…for better or worse.” She rolled over on her side, with her back towards Ray and turned off the light.
Ray stared at her back in disbelief. He couldn’t believe she wouldn’t even discuss this with him! How were things ever going to get resolved? She must be as unhappy as he was, didn’t she want to fix things? Even if it meant divorce, or at least a separation, wouldn’t that be better than the way it was now? Ray realized at that moment he would have to decide this on his own. It wasn’t going to be a mutual decision. She wasn’t going to have any part in it. That way, it would be his fault. How typical! That was the way their whole marriage was, why would he expect their divorce to be any different.
Ray was too upset to sleep. He got out of bed and walked towards the door. “I’m going for a walk.” There was no answer from the lump on the bed.
Ray walked around the pier for a while. Diego had been sound asleep so he tried not to disturb him as he left the cottage. He walked around looking in store windows and checked out the bars. He had thought about going in and having a few beers, but wasn’t in the mood for that. So he bought an ice cream cone instead, and ate it as he walked around the place. It was very different at night. It was very serene. As he stood at the corner, taking it all in, he noticed a phone booth by the arcade. Everyone at the cottage was asleep. Should he dare to call Amanda? With the time difference, it wasn’t too late to call. He threw away his cone, and searched in his wallet for her number and his phone card.
He was almost giddy with excitement as he dialed her number. He hoped she was home. He waited for her sweet voice to answer.
“Hello?”
“Hi Mandy, it’s me. How are you? Are you okay?” Ray was so nervous. Why was that?
“Hi Ray.” Amanda was happy to hear from him, but with mixed emotions. He sounded so happy and relaxed. “How’s the shore?”
“Beautiful. Diego is here and we’re having a good time. I wish you were here, though.” Ray was so happy to hear her voice. He forgot all about his usual reservations.
Amanda ignored the last remark. “Where are you calling me from?”
“I couldn’t sleep so am out walking the pier and ran into this o
ld fashioned phone booth at the pier. Everyone else is asleep.” Ray slapped his head. He hoped she didn’t take that the way it sounded.
“Oh, so you sneaked out?” she asked.
Great, he thought, she had. “No, really I couldn’t sleep and went for a walk. Things are really bad between me and Carrie, I couldn’t be there. I came across the phone booth and decided to call you. It was not premeditated. What’s wrong? I thought you would be happy to hear from me?”
Amanda sighed. What good would it do to bring up all this now? He sounded so relaxed, why ruin it? “I’m happy to hear from you, Ray. You sound good. I’m glad you’re having a good time.”
He heard the hesitancy in her voice but decided not to push it. He couldn’t take any more bad news at this point. “Did you get my last email?”
“Yes.” She didn’t want to discuss it. She had hoped he wouldn’t bring it up. She tried to change the subject. “I had a good time in California. I was exhausted coming back, but am so glad I did it. The kids had a really good time.”
“That’s good, Mandy. I’m glad you’re home safe and sound.” At that moment, a voice interrupted saying, “You have one minute left on your phone card.” “I better get going, I’m out of minutes. I’ll call you soon, ok?”
“Goodnight Ray. Have a good time.” She quickly hung up the phone before Ray could say anything else.
Ray stared at the phone in disbelief. What the heck was going on? How could two women shun him in one night? He hung up the phone when it started to protest with the continuous shrill beeps. Why was she upset? He walked towards the lit bar at the end of the street, deep in though. Let’s see, he thought, my last contact with her was the email. Oh no! She’s upset about Carrie. Why did he tell her in an email? She doesn’t even have the whole sordid story. Of course! He knew she already had issues about being the ‘other woman’. She must be freaking out. He couldn’t believe how stupid he was. He only hoped his stupidity didn’t cause him to lose her, but maybe, he already had, and he’d only have himself to blame. He pushed open the door to the bar and was impaled by smoke and loud laughter.
Chapter 8
Hilary and Amanda were having lunch at the pub. Amanda was telling Hilary about her vacation, and catching her up on the family. She was right in the middle of the blind date story when their nachos and beer arrived.
“Mandy, leave it to you to get yourself stuck in that kind of situation. That Leeza, she never changes. She’s crazy!” Hilary was rolling on the floor. She had missed Amanda so much and was glad to have her home. It sounded like she’d had had a great time. Good, she’d needed it. She seemed more relaxed, but knowing her sister as she did, she could tell she was preoccupied about something.
“So, did you like Cullen? It’s your first date since your disastrous second marriage.” Hilary was sorry she brought this up as soon as she saw the look on her sister’s face.
“Oh my God, Hil…I forgot about my second marriage! More importantly, I forgot about my court date. I know it has to be coming up. That’s when my divorce is final…I can’t miss it!” Amanda was frantic. She was so preoccupied with Ray, and the vacation, she’d forgotten all about it. She had worked very hard at putting her second husband, Peter, out of her mind, but this was ridiculous.
Peter had been her “rebound” marriage. It had lasted a total of three years. Three years of unhappiness. She’d never really loved Peter; he just kind of filled up her time. He was very needy and it made her feel like someone actually needed her. She’d tried several times to break it off, but he always begged her to help him. Help him to become a better man…to stop his destructive behavior. He felt that with her help, he’d do it. So like a fool, she always fell for it. He became her project. She’d clean him up, educate him, and help him to become a better man. Unfortunately, he looked good on the outside, but underneath, he was always the same lowlife she had first met.
“Hello? Where are you Mandy? You’re a million miles away.” Hilary looked at her sister with concern. “What are you thinking about?”
She held her head in her hands. “Peter. The hellish nightmares, Marriage number two. Or should I say failure number two. It’s so embarrassing. Why didn’t you stop me from marrying that fool?” She’d known that Hilary did not like Peter from the start. What she didn’t know was why she never said anything.
“I wanted you to be happy. If you thought that Peter was the one to make you happy, then who was I to stop you? She held her sister’s hand. “Mandy, I love you. Forget about Peter and concentrate on your future. You’re still young and pretty and can have a great life; with or without any dreaded male!” They both giggled uncontrollably at that.
“I know, I know. It’s so tough though, Hil. I want so much to just be happy with…me. I have spent so much time making sure everyone else in my life was happy; I forgot how to make myself happy. Now, when everyone else is gone, I still don’t know how.” Amanda sighed. “I just don’t want to become so desperate and lonely I make another mistake like Peter.” This brought her back to the present.
“Seriously, I have to check my papers and find out what’s going on. The sooner I get this over with, the faster I can get on with my life. I haven’t even mentioned this to Ray.” She started gathering her things to leave.
“Wait one second. Why would you have to tell Ray? He is an Internet entity.” Hilary grabbed her arm, “What’s going on there, Mandy?”
She looked at her sister. As much as she didn’t want to get into it with her, she knew sooner or later she’d have to tell her. Maybe she could give her some much needed insight. “Okay Hilary, but let me warn you…you might not like it. I’ll just ask you to keep an open mind.” She retold her story for the third time.
~~~
Diego had decided to go home. Carrie was driving him crazy. It was more than obvious that she didn’t want him there. Why did they invite him in the first place? She got mad if Ray and him went out, got mad if they stayed, refused to go with them, and refused to just go with Ray. There was no pleasing her, and since Diego wasn’t married to her, he wasn’t going to subject himself to her abuse.
“Diego, please don’t go. It’s going to be miserable here without you. It’s inhumane to leave me here alone!” Ray was beside himself.
“Sorry dude…can’t do it. I’m sure you’ll be fine. Maybe with me gone, you and Carrie can have a nice time together.” Diego knew he was grasping at straws but was trying to comfort his friend.
“Yeah, whatever; it’ll be hell and you know it.” Ray sounded defeated.
“So true…but better you than me.” Diego laughed and slapped him on the shoulder. “Suck it up and have a good time with the girls. That’s why you’re here isn’t it?”
Ray groaned out loud. “Yes. I guess three more days won’t kill me. I’m glad you came out, Diego. It was great spending some time with you.”
“Call me when you get home so I know she didn’t kill you.” They laughed and hugged good-bye. Diego hopped in his car and drove away. Ray suddenly felt very alone.
He went to see what the girls were up to. They were at the beach playing in the water. He saw Carrie out of the corner of his eye, sunbathing and reading. He went out to horse around with the girls. They had a good time laughing and playing, but the water soon got to be too cold for him. He went to sit by Carrie.
“Hi. Good book you’re reading?”
Carrie didn’t look up.
He sighed, but pressed on. “It sure is hot out here. You must be melting just sitting in the sun. Have you gone in the water yet?”
“Yes”.
She didn’t even look up from her book. Ray persisted. “I have a good idea, why don’t we all go over and get some ice cream and play at the arcade”
“No thanks.”
Ray wondered what it would take to melt the ice queen. Maybe, he thought, he should pick her up and throw her in the ocean. That certainly would get her attention. He eyed her surreptitiously. Nope, the days of picking Carrie up
were long gone. Maybe he could try bribing her.
“How about we go shopping? New clothes sound good?”
“Nope.”
“Does anything sound good?”
“Yes, sitting here quietly reading my book.”
Well, there it was; another slap in the face.
“Okay, I can take a hint.”
“It took you long enough.”
Ray got up and walked to the pier. He went to the ice cream parlor and bought himself a huge chocolate chip sundae with hot fudge and nuts. He sat across the street on a bench in the shade, lapping it up.
About ten minutes later, Ray could hear his girls giggling as they walked up the street. He watched them, all three, plus Carrie. They hadn’t seen him yet, they were on the other side. Carrie looked like a different person when he wasn’t around. All smiles, and giggling like the girls. He wished she could be more like that with him. He could vaguely remember a time when she was.
They stopped in front of the ice cream parlor.
“Mom, this was the best idea you had all day!” Nikki took her mom by the hand. “Can I have three scoops?”
“You can have as many as you want, girls. Let’s pig out, then, go play at the arcade!”
All four girls squealed and went in.
Ray just sat there in shock. His sundae had turned into a large lump in his stomach. He was going to be sick. He slowly got up, still staring at the ice cream window. He wanted to go over and shake Carrie. He wanted to yell at her. He wanted her to tell him why she treated him like this. He wanted to know what he had done so horrible in their marriage to make her feel like this towards him. He’d never cheated on her, had never hit her. He’d provided a good home. Ray walked over and threw his sundae in the garbage can on the street. He walked home, beaten and alone.
When You Least Expect It Page 6