Tessa

by Gabelman, Teresa

  Nicole took Tessa into her arms and hugged her, which Tessa wished she hadn’t done because her laughter turned into sobs of pain.

  “It’s not fucked up at all, Tessa.” Nicole pulled away and gave her a small smile. “I’m sorry, so sorry about Gramps. Jared’s been an asshole, but he loves you, Tessa. I see it every time that man looks at you. As for your father, he’s missed out on having a relationship with a kind-hearted daughter, and that is definitely his loss.”

  Tessa sniffed and nodded. “And the baby?”

  Nicole was silent for a long minute. She pushed a strand of hair behind Tessa’s ear before looking her in the eye. “You would make an amazing mother.”

  Once again, her face scrunched up in a cry, but then she shook her head and wiped her tears. “Damn, I’m a mess.” Tessa sighed, clearing her throat. “And I’m so sick of feeling sorry for myself.”

  “Well, if anyone has a right to feel sorry for themselves, it’s you, but I don’t see it that way. You’ve had a hard life, Tessa.” Nicole tugged her further out into the yard and sat down, pulling her down next to her. “Everything you’ve been through would break a weaker woman. Yet, you stand strong. So what if you shed a tear here and there?”

  “She’s right.” Pam sat down on the other side of Tessa. “Sorry, I overheard as I was walking up. Not only did you lose your mother in a horrific accident, but you also saved your brother from going into foster care and fought for him. Broke into the VC Warrior compound, chained Jared Kincaid, which kind of turned you into a legend, and I can keep going, but I’m not going to because you know your strength and that’s all that matters.”

  Tessa laid her head on Pam’s shoulder. “Thank you.” Tessa closed her eyes to keep the tears at bay. “Thank you both.”

  They sat quietly in thought. Soon they were joined by the rest of the mates. They all sat on the grass together, not saying a word. Tessa smiled, feeling better than she had in a long time. A lightning bug landed on her hand. Holding it up, she stared at it, just as another one joined it. Her eyes rose to see them surrounded by hundreds of lightning bugs. Her gaze went to Katrina, who was looking around, then turned her head and smiled.

  It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen and such a fitting way to end the night. “Gramps called them firebugs,” Tessa whispered, watching the flickering lights. “We’d laugh, telling him they were lightning bugs, but he’d say, ‘Well that made no sense at all. Lights needed electricity, and I don’t see no plug up their butt.’”

  Everyone began to laugh, Tessa the hardest. As the laughter died down, she looked at each of the women and realized how lucky she was. This was her family. Glancing past them, she saw the Warriors standing just beyond the glow. Her eyes met Jared’s and he winked at her, a smile playing across his lips from her story.

  “Can I use that in my book?” Steve asked from behind her.

  Tessa turned her head, peering up at him, and smiled. “He would have loved that, Steve.”

  “Katrina, do you think you can give me a path through the firebugs?” Duncan said, using Gramps’s name for them and not hers, bless him. “We need to get back to Daniel.”

  She did, and a part of Tessa was disappointed, but she knew she needed to get back inside. Duncan walked over and helped Pam up. Just as Tessa was getting ready to stand, a large hand reached out to her. She looked up at Jared, his gaze intent. She grasped his hand and he helped her up effortlessly. The pull she felt toward him was unmistakable.

  “You need anything at all, call me.” Pam hugged her tightly, taking her focus off Jared.

  “I will.” Tessa squeezed. “Thank you for being here.”

  Duncan took Tessa into his arms and gave her a tight hug, surprising her. Duncan wasn’t the type to show anyone affection other than Pam and Daniel. “He was a damn fine man,” Duncan’s deep rough voice said next to her ear. “I’m going to miss our talks.”

  Nodding was all she could do, but she squeezed him, then finally was able to say, “Yes, he was. Thank you for being so kind to him.”

  Duncan let go suddenly and then was gone. Jared replaced him, tugging her close. “How you holding up?” Jared tilted her face up to his. “Did you eat?”

  “I’m okay.” She lied, fully aware he knew. “And I’m really not hungry.”

  “Come on.” Jared wrapped his arm around her, leading them back into the house.

  Tessa stopped him. When they had left the funeral home, she had gone once more to say her last goodbye. When there, she’d seen all the gold coins that surrounded Gramps. “Jared, what was it that the Warriors put in the casket?”

  “In ancient times, it was the Warriors’ duty to send off one of their own with riches,” Jared replied, his eyes glowing as he stared down at her. “He was one of ours.”

  “Thank you.” Tessa sniffed. “He would have loved that.”

  Jared only nodded as they made their way into the house. There was so much unsaid between them, but for just this second, she was going to let it go and pretend all was right between them. Maybe then she could get through this heartbreak before the next one hit, and she had a sinking feeling it was coming soon.

  Almost everyone was gone except the Warriors and the mates. Sid stood next to the stove as Wilma Freemont, an old friend of her grandfathers, was teaching him how to make smooth sausage gravy. Tessa grinned when Steve pointed to them, then gave her a thumbs-up and a wink.

  “I sweet-talked her into giving ol’ Sid a few pointers.” Steve gave her a sneaky grin, then walked proudly away.

  Sloan walked to her, blocking her view. “Whatever the insurance doesn’t cover, the VC will,” he said in his gruff tone.

  “Oh, you don’t have to—”

  “I wasn’t asking permission.” Sloan cocked his eyebrow at her.

  “No, what he was trying to say…” Becky put her hand on his arm. “…is that Gramps was very special to all of us and it’s our way of showing him the respect he deserved by making sure things are taken care of for him.”

  Sloan swallowed, then nodded. “Yeah.”

  Before Tessa could say anything, Sloan walked away, dragging Becky with him. She pulled away and hurried back to give Tessa a hug. “Men.” Becky rolled her eyes, then left with Sloan.

  “Dude, was Sloan crying?” Steve’s question stopped everyone from doing what they were doing to stare at him as if he was a dead man walking. “What?”

  “How about we call him back in and ask him?” Sid headed that way, but Steve ran and blocked Sid’s advance toward Sloan.

  “Are you crazy?” Steve sputtered, his eyes round with fear.

  “Hey, that can go into your book,” Sid added with a thoughtful look. “What happens to dumbasses who ask if Sloan’s crying? It may be a pretty bloody and gruesome paragraph or two. Definitely has to have a trigger warning in the description.”

  Everyone turned to look at Sid.

  “What? I read,” Sid replied with a shrug, then went back to learning how to make gravy.

  “Steve, when are you going to learn?” Adam chuckled from the table, Angelina in his lap. “Sloan is going to kill you one day. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Fuck, man, I just asked a question. I’ve never seen him look sad. Mad, yeah. Furious, definitely. Raging, daily.” Steve then burped. “Damn, I think I’m going to throw up.”

  “It was probably that fifth plate of food you had.” Jill rolled her eyes as she cut Slade a piece of pie. She actually waved it in front of Steve’s face. “Wanna piece?”

  Steve gagged, then took off before he stopped, looking around frantically.

  “Shit.” Adam picked Angelina up and put her down gently before racing toward Steve to show him where the bathroom was. “Throw up, you clean it up.”

  Once everyone was done eating, Tessa and the women began cleaning up. She sent everyone on their way with a dish or two. There was no way she and Adam would eat all of this, and she couldn’t see it go to waste. Sid and Lana had left, making sure Wilma
got home safely. Watching Sid with the older woman was a sight to see. She had seen Sid kill, fight, and curse, but with the older human woman, he was sweet, kind, and gentle. Glancing around at all the Warriors, she was reminded of what amazing men they really were.

  As she watched Jared wiping down the table, she knew if she walked away from him, her life would never be the same again. And yet, if she stayed, her life would be the same, and that was something she didn’t know if she could live with. It was times like this she needed to talk to Gramps. He would tell her his thoughts without holding anything back—whether she liked it or not. That was gone, forever.

  Needing to do something, she started on the dishes that were left. Her eyes rose to look outside, just as a firebug landed on the window. A sad smile spread across her lips and in an odd way, it felt that her grandfather was still around.

  Chapter 15

  Jared watched Tessa throughout the night, realizing how fucking lucky he was. She was a strong woman who hadn’t had a fair shake in life. What really struck him was he hadn’t made it easy on her either. For all his alpha bullshit, his whole attitude hadn’t been because of the male-slash-female relationship stuff. No, it went much deeper than that, and it was all on him.

  Finally, everyone had left except for Adam and Angelina, who sat at the kitchen table talking with Tessa. “Wonder why Dad didn’t show up.” Tessa frowned, then shrugged. “Though I’m sure it would have been a total shit show if he had. But the least he could have done was pay his respects to his own father.”

  His eyes on Tessa, Jared did see Adam look his way, keeping his mouth shut. “I may have had something to do with him not showing up,” Jared replied, no apology in his voice.

  “Well, like I said, it probably would have been bad if he had. I just don’t want him blaming me for not allowing him to come to the funeral,” Tessa said, then stood up. “But no matter what, one of us will get blamed, maybe both.”

  “I don’t really care,” Adam replied, plopping a potato chip into his mouth. “He never cared about Gramps when he was alive.”

  “True,” Tessa said, then headed out of the kitchen. “I’m going to change.”

  Jared watched her go, his eyes following her, yet he remained where he was. They needed to talk, but he also knew he needed to give her space, and tonight definitely wasn’t the night for heavy discussion. All he needed to do was be here for her. It drove him mad not being able to follow her and know he’d be welcomed, and honestly, if it wasn’t for Gramps’s death, he’d be doing just that.

  “You’re fucking up,” Adam said, shaking his head and not even looking his way.

  “Guess you’re talking to me.” Jared smirked with a tilt of his head. “And I suggest you mind your own business.”

  “My sister is my business, and I’m telling you, you’re fucking up.” Adam did look at him this time. “I never thought I’d say this, but what you’re doing to her now is almost worse than what Otis did to her.”

  “Adam,” Angelina whispered, but Adam ignored her.

  Taking a deep breath, Jared tried to keep his temper under control. “If one more fucking person compares me to that bastard, I’m going to kill something or… someone.” He growled, totally failing in controlling himself as his temper soared. “I have never cheated on your sister.”

  “No, but the mental abuse you’ve been putting her through is almost as bad, if not worse.” Adam’s eyes narrowed. “And I’m getting sick of it.”

  “It’s none of your business, Adam,” Tessa said as she walked back into the kitchen. “Thanks for your concern, but I’m good. I’m a big girl and can handle it.”

  Adam stood, pulling a yawning Angelina up. “On that note, we’ll see you in the morning.”

  Reaching out, she gave him a hug. “Thanks,” she whispered, kissing his cheek. Then she hugged Angelina. “Get some sleep. I put fresh sheets on the bed.”

  Angelina smiled her thanks, then as they passed Jared, she glanced up at him. “Goodnight, Jared.”

  “Night, Angelina.” Jared nodded at her, then looked back at Tessa, who was bent over, looking in the refrigerator. She had changed into jean shorts and a hoodie, looking sexy as hell. The way she filled out those shorts had him adjusting himself as his dick hardened. She pulled out a casserole dish, grabbed a fork, and sat down at the table.

  Tessa removed the Reynolds Wrap, then poked at the contents, deep in thought. Jared actually tried to read her, but she had him blocked. He frowned, not liking being ignored, but he guessed he deserved it.

  “Why haven’t you read me?” Jared asked. He knew what Adam had told him, but he wanted to hear it from her.

  Glancing up at him, her sadness filled her eyes. It almost brought him to his knees. Fuck, he was such a bastard. He knew part of that sadness was from losing Gramps, but if he wanted to be honest with himself, he had seen that same look way before Gramps got sick.

  “Because I want you to love me enough to share everything with me,” Tessa answered without hesitation. “And to be honest, I’m afraid of what I might read.”

  “I love you more than life itself,” Jared vowed, his voice deep with conviction.

  “Hmm, that’s convenient.” Tessa went back to looking at the food she wasn’t eating, but killing with the fork.

  “What the hell does that mean?” Jared huffed, not liking where this conversation was going. Dammit, he didn’t want to fight with her, not tonight. Hell, not ever and yet, that seemed like all they did.

  “You have eternal life, Jared.” Tessa cocked her eyebrow at the food instead of looking his way. “Of course you can say you love me more than life since it’s highly unlikely you’d lose your life.”

  Jared really had to think about what she said, as if it were a puzzle. When he figured it out, he growled since it was pretty much to the fucking point. “Is that what you think, Tessa? What you really think?”

  This time, instead of poking, Tessa stabbed the food, leaving the fork sticking out of it. Her eyes rose to his. “Yeah, Jared. It is what I really think.”

  Jesus, how in the hell did they get here? For once in his life, he didn’t know what to do, say, or even feel. For her to even think he didn’t truly love her said he had failed her, and to fail one’s mate was a devastating blow to them both. He noticed she kept staring at him as if waiting for an answer, but he had none to give. If he said he loved her, would she even believe him now?

  “Do you love her?” Tessa’s voice cracked, her beautiful eyes searching his for the answer before his mouth could even speak the words.

  Jared refused to lie to her, but the answer to that was complicated. He witnessed her complete and total destruction when he remained silent, and he had never hated himself more. “Tessa, I—” Jared began just as his phone rang. He glanced down at it and frowned, knowing he had to answer. “Yeah?”

  * * *

  Sitting at the table, Tessa listened to Jared’s voice as he talked on the phone, but she couldn’t have repeated anything he said because her mind was almost shut down from pain. He loved this woman, Raven. Call it a feeling, woman’s intuition or whatever, he loved her. Pain and anger slammed into her as her eyes swung to his. He had hung up but was staring at her silent.

  “Do you love her?” she repeated, and by damn she was going to get a fucking answer. She wanted to hear it from his mouth.

  He sighed, actually fucking sighed like she and her question were getting on his nerves. A question that would change her entire life, either way it was answered. “There is no easy way to answer this,” Jared finally said.

  “It’s either yes or no. Can’t get any easier than that.” Tessa pushed away from the table slightly.

  “It’s complicated.” Jared rubbed his hand over his face and realized his mistake of taking his eyes off her. Pain in his shoulder shocked him. Looking down, he saw the fork prongs sticking out of his arm. His surprised eyes shot to hers.

  “Then let me uncomplicate things for you, Kincaid.” Tessa sneered
as she stood slowly. “Get out!”

  “Tessa.” Jared growled in warning. “This has nothing to do with us.”

  “What?” Tessa’s head snapped back. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, trying to get out words, but for the life of her, nothing would come out.

  “It is my past.” Jared threw his arms out, the fork wobbling. If her life wasn’t going to hell in that moment, she would have laughed. “This has nothing to do with you. Why can’t you just leave it the fuck alone? I’m not Otis, goddammit! But if this is the way you acted with him, then I can see why he….”

  He stopped his words, which were like a slap to the face. Actually, she’d been hit in the face many times, and it hurt less than his words did. “Fucked my best friend?” She finished for him.

  “I didn’t mean…. Dammit, Tessa, you know I didn’t mean....” Jared actually did look remorseful.

  With as much dignity as she could pull to the surface, she walked straight up to him. “Gramps said angry men always spoke the truth.” Tessa refused to cry, refused to show weakness at this moment. Instead, she reached up and pulled the fork from his shoulder, then tossed it in the sink from where she stood. Tessa looked up at him, her eyes clear of tears. “You never should have looked for me and Adam after we broke into the compound.”

  “Tessa,” Jared called out when she turned to leave the kitchen.

  She stopped but didn’t turn around. “You just lost the best thing that ever happened to you, Jared Kincaid.” Tessa was damn proud of herself as she walked out of the room, until she felt a strong grip on her arm, turning her quickly around.

  “You are right about one thing, Tessa Pride Kincaid.” Jared leaned close as he said her full name, emphasizing the name they shared. Their golden eyes blazed into one another. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, but I have lost nothing. You are mine.”

  God, how easy it would be to fold into his arms, but she stood her ground. “I was yours,” Tessa whispered, but her tone was strong.