Exiled to the Stars

by Zellmann, William

  "Well," Vlad said doubtfully, "yar, I guess. I knew a lot thirty years ago about the state of the art thirty years ago."

  Ken shrugged again. "Close enough. And far more than anyone else in the colony. Now, If you'd like to take a few weeks and brush up in the computer, that wouldn't be a problem." His tone now was cajoling.

  Vlad snorted. "Brushing up on what? If that thing is a computer, it's based on an entirely different and unknown science. I won't even know which sockets to not stick my fingers into!"

  Ken shook his head. "I know, Vlad. What I'm counting on is that you know how computers think." He waved off Vlad's opening mouth. "Oh, I know computers don't think. But you know the general concepts under which they operate, the logic and processes they use. If a layman's opinion is worth anything, I'd start with the thought that two separate experts now have suggested that the spider peoples' mathematics might be to base 8."

  Vlad started to answer, stopped, closed his mouth. After a moment, he replied. "Yar! Could be!" He frowned. "Still, computers are base 2, binary, for a reason. They're billions of tiny switches, that are either 'off' or 'on'. Maybe… " Abruptly, he looked up at Ken. "All right, Ken. But you're going to have to deal with Susan. And Elaine, once I tell her I won't be available to babysit!"

  Surprisingly, Susan was fairly easy to convince, once Ken offered to let her accompany Vlad. "There's nothing going on in the lab that Michiko can't handle," she said, "and it's time we had a honeymoon! Too bad we won't be able to go swimming," she continued in a wistful tone. "I used to love to swim."

  Elaine was, surprisingly, no problem, either. She was still wallowing in the joys of what Vlad called 'full mommy mode' after her adventure at Site One. Ron even promised to have Denis set them up a special 'honeymoon' dome for their stay. Denis and the other Explorers were equally enthusiastic. Vlad and Susan were two of the most respected and best-liked people in the colony.

  So, when they arrived they found a large, airy dome, set up at some distance from the other residential domes, and adjoining a small empty one. The residential dome contained a real bed, flown up by heli, and the empty one featured one of the remote terminals from the ship. Even here, the computer's ultraradio communications would allow them access to the ship's computer network.

  "We were sure that Doctor Vlad would need room to work," Denis said, "And that Doctor Susan would not be able to resist collecting specimens. At least you won't have a bunch of specimen jars in your bedroom!"

  Each of them had been provided with a three-wheeled bike, to prevent falls. Denis proudly pointed out that theirs were the first machines to be equipped with battery-power. Vlad grinned, but Susan scowled. She'd planned on the bicycles finally getting Vlad to exercise. The next day, their first full one, Denis gave them breathing filters and escorted them into the city and to the central spire.

  "I don't think you'd have liked them much, Vlad." Susan remarked. "I'm not sure I would have, either."

  Vlad frowned. "Why not?"

  Susan swept an arm wide. "Just look around. Ultimate conformists. Identical constructions, identical sizes, identical color. They'd have had a hard time dealing with anything that was out of the ordinary, outside their normal routine. I've known professors like that."

  Vlad nodded. "I have, too. But maybe they didn't have color vision. Maybe that's why everything's the same color. Or maybe they had a hive mind."

  Susan frowned. "Maybe. But they were carnivores, and that means predators, so I doubt it. I'm still glad we didn't have to meet them. I'd bet that with that level of conformity, something like our ship's crash would have set off a panic. It would be like that Dorm 25 thing. I'd bet they'd have attacked immediately, mindlessly, like a reflex." She shook her head. "Now I'm coming around to Kerry Jenson's way of thinking. If they weren't extinct, I'm sure we'd have heard from them by now. Humans are too wildly varied and variable to be accepted by these…these bees."

  Vlad grinned. "Are you going to tell her?"

  Susan sighed. "Eventually, I suppose I'll have to. But I'm not looking forward to her crowing in triumph in that blog of hers."

  Susan was unimpressed with the tower's upper floors, especially after struggling up ten flights of ramps. But the lower floors fascinated her, and Vlad seemed equally impressed. They agreed that it was a library.

  "I dunno," Denis smiled. "All those things could be spider eggs, you know. Each in its own neat little slot."

  Susan started to snap an answer, and then stopped. Denis was right. She was making assumptions based on human nature and behavior. Still…She turned to Vlad.

  He was shaking his head. "I don't think so," he said. "They all have those scribbles on them. I think they're memory modules, all neatly racked for easy retrieval. Let's see that thing Ken thinks is a computer."

  Denis nodded. "Yes, sire. It’s downstairs." He led them down a ramp to the 'basement.' The room was the largest they'd seen, and Denis told them it was the largest yet found. Wen Ho Jackson theorized that it was so large because the builders had needed a large foundation for such a high tower. The low ceiling, on which Vlad kept bumping his head, appeared to be supported by the large octagon, some five meters in width, which occupied the center of the large space. Surrounding it was a maze of the low cubicles. These cubicles were smaller than those in the rest of the building. As on the floors above, the walls were honeycombs of small niches, each containing an octohedron.

  Vlad nodded. "See, Susan?" he asked, "Doesn't this look like a computer lab at the university, with lots of small cubicles surrounding the mainframe?"

  Susan shook her head. "Yes, it does, Vlad. But we don't know this is a university, and we don't know what that thing is," she said, waving vaguely at the central octagon. "These creatures weren't human, Vlad! For all we know, this is a lunchroom, and that thing's a kitchen!"

  "One of the guys suggested it might be a hospital," Denis put in. He chuckled. "Vito Carelli thinks it's where they came to mate."

  That brought smiles, but Susan nodded. "And he has as much chance of being right as we do. We know nothing about these creatures, and we're several thousand years too late to find out.

  Vlad's brows rose. "You didn't learn anything from that corpse?"

  Susan nodded. "Of course we did. But not a lot. Most of the organs had dried to dust. We've brought three of them back, now. Oh, we think they were all female; all three had what appear to be ovipositors. But all that tells us is that they laid eggs. We still don't even know how many sexes they had."

  "We assume that the highest level of the building was the command level because of the larger cubicles," she continued, "which would appear to indicate that the females were in charge. That's just a theory, of course, but then, so is everything else about these creatures. We really know very little about them. I will say that their bodies show remarkable adaptations to accommodate intelligence: The movable neck and head, the development of opposable claws, the interesting cranial development. Their brains appear to have been even larger than our own." She shuddered. "But I still don't think I'd like to meet a live one. Intelligent carnivores make me nervous."

  "Ah!" Vlad said dramatically, "but blondes are so delicious!"

  Susan flushed red, and slapped Vlad on the shoulder. "Oh, shut up, you dirty old man. You're too old to be having thoughts like that."

  Vlad put on a smirk and raised one eyebrow. "Oh? I thought you understood men. We're never too old for thoughts like that. When we stop having them, check our pulses, 'cause we're dead."

  Susan grunted, and studiously ignored Denis, who was struggling to control a grin.

  "Anyway," she said firmly, "don't make assumptions. You can only conclude from what you learn from analysis. Now, if you've seen enough of the ruins, I'd like to get outside and enjoy the scenery."

  Vlad grumped until Susan reminded him that in the morning, he could return with the tools he'd had made when he was tinkering with Jazzy, and begin a serious investigation. He brightened considerably.

 
"Have your men been in many of the buildings, Major?" Vlad asked.

  Denis shook his head. "No, sire. We have orders to stay out of them unless we're told different. Doctor Koh doesn’t want my people 'messing something up'." His stolid expression and determinedly neutral tone clearly conveyed his opinion of the order.

  Vlad shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Stupid. Angel's a good man, but he can get some silly ideas sometimes. So, what are your people doing?"

  Denis shrugged. "Well, the eggheads have decided they should learn all they can from Site One before they come this far, so we don't have much traffic. We do perimeter guard, of course. And then we've been doing some bike patrols in here, just riding up and down the streets looking for anything different. Unofficially, we're kind of exploring the valley. It keeps my people sharp, gives them an edge of danger." He smiled. "Of course, now that you're here, Dr. Susan, we'll also keep an eye out for interesting specimens."

  Susan smiled. "Thank you, Major." Her face took on a wistful expression. "Do you suppose I might be able to accompany your people on one of their explorations of the valley? I mean, specimens in a lab are one thing, but I've never been able to get into wild territory."

  Denis frowned. "I suppose so, mistress." He didn't look happy about having one of his VIPs wandering around in raw Crashlanding wilderness. "But you'd have to let me assign you an escort, and you'd have to agree to obey her instructions. We're 2000 klicks from the colony and the med bay."

  Susan beamed. "I understand, Major. I'd gladly accept your escort, or guard, or babysitter. I've got a lab full of nasties that I wouldn't care to meet unaware on their own ground. But this might be my only chance to see them in their, uh, 'natural habitat'. And I've got a feeling Vlad's going to spend most of his time up to his elbows in dust."

  Denis grinned. "If he spends any time in the city," he replied, "the dust will certainly become an important fact in his life. You wouldn't believe how many times I've wished for some kind of a giant broom to sweep that stuff away.

  Vlad chuckled. "Oh, I think I'd believe it." He looked wistful. "It would be a perfect job for a few dozen robots. Or a few hundred."

  Susan snorted. "Why not wish us up a starship, while you're at it, to take us back to Earth?"

  Vlad looked surprised. "Earth? Why would I want to go back there? It's dirty, crowded, and besides, it's been forty years now. They've probably gone as extinct as the spider people."

  Susan rolled her eyes. "Oh, aren't you the cheerful optimist!"

  Unseen, Denis shook his head. The Renkos were the oldest couple he knew. Vlad must be nearly a century old, and Susan was probably in her 70's. Yet, here they were, obviously in love, teasing and joking like newlyweds. Even sexual innuendo! He certainly hoped he and Rosa could be that way at their ages. Ron Creding had told him that Susan considered the trip a belated honeymoon, and after he'd looked up the term, his team had gone all out to make it one. But this was the first time he really understood what it meant: A couple, freed of the necessity of maintaining their public personas, free to enjoy themselves and love each other. He decided that honeymoon was a custom that should be revived. He began wondering how he could arrange one for himself and Rosa.

  Lieutenant Rosa Chu reported to Susan just after breakfast. Rosa was a slightly muscular woman, of indeterminate racial lineage, like most colonists these days. She projected an air of aggressive competence that Susan immediately labeled 'military'. She almost marched into the room, stood stiffly, and even saluted. Susan suppressed an eye roll.

  She shook her head. "Relax, Lieutenant. I need a companion and a babysitter, not a military honor guard. I'm 'Susan', and the first time you call me 'Mistress', I'll…I'll feed you to the spider people!"

  Rosa relaxed with a smile. "Uh, you might have a bit of trouble finding one, uh, Susan."

  Susan grinned. "True, but I'll bet I could get some volunteers from the other Explorers to help me look."

  Rosa's formal smile finally turned into a grin. "No bet, Susan. I think a couple of them would dig up a dead one and bring it back to life, just for me."

  Susan's grin turned to a friendly smile. "Well, sit down, Lieutenant, and let's get acquainted. As I said, I'm 'Susan', and not 'that hoity-toity egghead from the colony that thinks she owns the place'.

  Rosa looked shocked. "Mistr…uh, Susan! No one ever called you anything like that!" But she did sit, and then noticed Susan's smile. "Oh. Uh, Hello, Susan, I'm Rosa." She made a mental note to have Denis tell everyone to call her by name until further notice.

  "Well, Susan," she began. "It's not really too dangerous around here. We got three wolf lizards the first week, but only one more since then. There was a plains rat mound toward the other end of the valley, but we threw a dead goat into attack range of the mound, and they stripped it in forty-seven seconds. We think we got 'em all. We've seen no movement for five days. The biggest concerns are jelly monsters and millipedes. The millipedes hide underground until prey passes, then they jump out and hit them with their poison fangs. They're fatal in less than a minute."

  Susan nodded, smiling. "I know the animal." A frown started to appear on Rosa's face, and Susan continued, "But Rosa, having one on my dissecting table, and having one jump out of a hole at me are two different things. You're the one who will keep me alive up here. Don't worry, I won't give you any trouble."

  Rosa relaxed again, her face smoothing. "Yes, Mis…uh, 'Susan'. Well, the only thing you might not know about is something we call a 'puffball'. It's just a kinda sad looking weed, with a bulb near its top that kind of hangs to one side. When prey, say a plains rat, comes close enough, the bulb compresses, and sprays poison powder in the thing's face. It's not really much of a problem for us if we're standing up, since its range is about a third of a meter, and the powder is heavier than air, but I wouldn't bend over to examine one too closely."

  Susan nodded. "Have you sent a sample back to the colony?"

  Rosa shook her head. "Not yet. Denis…the Major ordered a breathing apparatus so we can collect one, but it hasn't come yet. Do you have wilderness boots and safety gloves? If not, we probably have spares."

  "Oh, yes. I would never think of going into the field without the proper equipment."

  While they were chatting and getting acquainted, Denis was introducing Vlad to his own escort.

  "There's really not much danger in there," He said. "None of the native life seems to have gotten in over the years. Of course, we've opened it now, and there's always the chance of something getting through the perimeter and slipping into the city. But that's not very likely. Your escort, here, is along mostly for guiding and doing any manual tasks that need doing." He smiled. "I'm under strict orders from the Administrator to make sure you don't try to lift anything heavier than a beer bulb."

  Vlad grinned. "Ken can be an old woman sometimes. I'm sure I'll be fine. And you can rest easy. I've always been too lazy for 'manual tasks'. I'll appreciate the help."

  Denis smiled and nodded. "This is Captain Vito Carelli. He'll be your guide. We've tried to civilize him, but as you can see, it didn't really take. Still, we've taught him to walk upright, and to talk, though that may have been a mistake."

  Vito stepped forward. Despite his Mediterranean name, Vito's heritage was clearly mostly Asian. But his grin was wide and welcoming. "You'll have to excuse the Major," he said. "Sometimes his jealousy of my polish, regal bearing, and obvious good breeding overwhelms his manners." He bowed slightly, his expression sobering. "It is indeed an honor to meet you sire, and to work with you." He turned to the younger man next to him. "And this, sire, is Corporal Ras Darpee. He's Raj's son, but we try not to hold that against him. He will be our hewer of wood and drawer of water. He'll also be our gofer, if we need one." He shrugged. "We've put repeaters in the tunnel and cavern, so we have comms, but they still don't work in the buildings. So Ras, here, will carry messages back and forth, and 'go fer' anything we need."

  Vlad forced a smile. The term 'gofer' had been old whe
n he first heard it as a child. But Vito obviously thought it fresh and funny. He stretched out a hand to shake that of the compact, but muscular young man.

  "Vito and Ras were on the team that discovered Site One," Denis said. "They may be able to help if any questions come up."

  Vlad smiled. "You were also on that team, weren't you, Major?"

  Denis nodded. "Well, yes, sire, but I won't be with you as much as they will."

  Vlad nodded. "Well, gentlemen, I've already packed a few things I might need, so I'm ready to go." He reached for the small pack he'd prepared, but Ras snatched it up. Vlad mounted his electric tricycle and started for the city, moderating his pace to match the man-powered vehicles.

  Work crews of Explorers had swept the tunnel clear of dust, and daily effort kept it clear, but there was no hope of clearing the city, of course. Vito slowed their pace even more as they once again reached the carpet of dust. "Even these skinny wheels can kick up a pretty good cloud, if you're moving too fast," he explained. The once-smooth blanket of dust was now quickly filling with ruts and footprints, all pressing it down and solidifying it. With a few years' traffic, perhaps the dust would compress into solid dirt, at least on the trail to the central tower. Vito hoped so; this would be a years-long mission, and the dust was a real pain.

  Vlad frowned. "Have you thought about oiling the dust? Back on Earth, they used to spray oil on dirt roads to keep the dust down. It might be a little messy at first, but a few coats of oil might turn this 'flour' into a crust."

  Vito's eyebrows rose. "I don't think I've ever heard anyone mention that," he replied. "I'll mention it to the Major. Maybe he'll want to run it up the chain. We're going to be here for years, and the dust is a never-ending problem."