Touch Me Not

by Apryl Baker

Nikoli snorted. “No.”

  Relief swept over Kade’s face. “You need to pull yourself together, little brother.”

  “I love her.”

  That made Kade shut up. His mouth opened and closed, but no words came out.

  “Then why the fuck are you sitting here, drunk off your ass, instead of with her?”

  “You know why.”

  Kade flinched. He did know why.

  “She’s not Jessica.” Her name still brought a scowl to both their faces.

  Jessica Frasier. Her name still left a bad taste in Nikoli’s mouth. The summer before he started Boston University, he’d gone to spend the summer with Kade in Virginia. Jessica had been his brother’s girlfriend. Blonde, beautiful, and a manipulative bitch at heart. She’d started to flirt with him the day he’d arrived. Kade had told her how proud he was of Nikoli for what he’d accomplished, had told her about Nikoli’s business.

  His brother had been in love with her.

  It hadn’t mattered to Nikoli. The woman had convinced him that she loved him after a few weeks there, and he’d believed her. He’d been young and stupid, and he’d almost ruined the relationship between him and Kade. It still wasn’t what it was, but they’d both realized soon after who Jessica really was at heart. Nikoli had hurt his brother, had taken what was his and never looked back. Maybe the pain he felt now was karma’s way of paying him back.

  She’d demanded things from Nikoli from the beginning, and he’d obliged her by buying anything she wanted. He’d left his brother’s apartment and had been staying with Jessica. He’d come home one day and overheard a conversation she was having with someone on the phone. She’d been gloating about landing the rich brother, laughing while she told whoever about how she’d convinced Nikoli he loved her and about how she was now set for life.

  Realizing what she’d made him do, he’d simply walked out and gone to find his brother. It had hurt, sucker punched him. At the time, he’d thought he loved her. He’d been so ashamed of what he’d done to his brother. He’d confessed to Kade what he’d overheard, and Kade had forgiven him. Jessica had manipulated them both. It had skewed both of them in their expectations of women. Neither had had a relationship that lasted longer than an hour since then.

  Jessica had ruined him. Nikoli had loved her, or at least he thought he had at the time. He understood the difference now. He understood the difference between lust and love. He loved Lily, but he’d lusted after Jessica, and in the process had almost lost his brother. It would cause any sane man to pause.

  “Nikoli, you know I’m the first person to advocate bachelorhood, but I think you need to get over it and go get your woman back.”

  Nikoli’s head snapped up. Kade sat there sipping his beer. Looking all sage and wise.

  “The day I met her, I knew you were sunk. The way the two of you were together…there was a connection there. I went home thinking my little brother found his one.”

  Nikoli was shaking his head before his brother even finished speaking.

  “I can’t.”

  “Little brother, you’re sitting here so drunk, I don’t think you can stand up. Luther says you’ve been like this all week, blowing off classes, and angry at the world. If you love the girl, you need to own up to it.”

  “I told her I didn’t love her.” Nikoli downed the shot of tequila he’d just poured. “She said she loved me, and I sat there and broke her. Her face…” He closed his eyes at the memory.

  “I’m sure if you talked to her…”

  “No,” Nikoli interrupted his brother. “It’s better this way.”

  Kade didn’t say anything after that, but the look of disgust he gave Nikoli spoke volumes. Yeah, he was stupid. He knew that, but he was afraid.

  Kade asked for his bill and paid Nikoli’s tab as well. “Let’s get you home. If you want to destroy your chance at happiness, man, go for it, but I’m not letting you binge drink anymore. If I have to call every bar in Boston to cut you off, I will.”

  Nikoli barely remembered Kade hauling him up. All he could think about was Lily.

  It was better this way.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Nikoli tossed his empty beer can in the direction of the table and studied the crowd. His frat house was packed with drunken hot chicks, and he was finding it difficult to even look at one. He kept thinking about Lily. Her eyes haunted him. He hadn’t been back to the penthouse since their night there. God knew he’d tried, but the thought of going there without her was too much. Maybe it was time to put it up for sale. He was graduating this semester and leaving Boston. He and Luther were setting up their corporate offices in New York. They’d decided on that two years ago, but now Nikoli was rethinking the location. Lily was moving to New York after graduation.

  Fuck. She shouldn’t be able to do this to him. He was seriously reconsidering relocating to a different city. She was just a chick. He tried to tell himself that every day, but he knew better. Lily Bells was special. She was kind, beautiful, full of love and joy, and she made him feel. Feel so much more than anyone ever had. She made him feel in a way that touched him to his core. It scared him. Enough that he let her walk away from him. Even after she told him she didn’t want Boy Wonder, that all she wanted was him. He’d broken her heart. Her eyes…fuck, he could still see the pain in her eyes. It cut him to his core, and he hated that she could do that to him.

  Hated that he loved her.

  At least he’d stopped drinking himself into oblivion every day.

  He needed to get laid. One good hard fuck and he’d forget her. She was just a chick, after all. Same as the rest of them. Same as the other girl he’d thought he loved. She’d been easily forgotten, and so would Lily. His inner demons laughed at him, but he ignored them. Tonight he’d find a girl, take her to one of the rooms, and forget Lily Holmes existed. His eyes scanned the room and zeroed in on the blonde getting a beer. Nikoli appreciated the way her dress clung to her curves and the way her hips rolled suggestively when she moved. Here was a girl meant to be fucked. With a grin, he stood up and swaggered over to her, his only intent to take her upstairs into one of the rooms and get her naked.

  Lily sighed. She’d finally relented to Janet’s constant demands that she come to a party. It was at Nikoli and Luther’s frat house, but she was pretty sure Nikoli wouldn’t be there. He hated these things. He’d rather be in a bar. At least she hoped he wouldn’t be there. She wasn’t sure she was ready to see him yet. It had been almost a month since he told her he didn’t love her. Every time she thought about him, her heart shattered all over again. No one except Adam knew how badly broken she was. She’d learned over the years to hide her pain well. They all thought she was fine about breaking up with Nikoli.

  Breaking up. She laughed a little bitterly at the words. They had never been together, not really. It was all just a stupid bargain. A bargain Nikoli had come out of smelling like roses. Lily came out the other end a broken mess—no Adam, no Nikoli, and she didn’t even get the damn car. All she ended up with was a broken heart and the need to cry every five minutes. Which was why she gave in about the party. She needed to stop moping around and wallowing in her own pain. The only way to get past it was to go out and make herself do normal things. Like this party, even if it was Nikoli’s frat house.

  Mikey saw her first and rushed over to give her a hug. He grinned from ear to ear when she returned it. “Hey, Lils, you made it.”

  “Not like Jan gave me a choice,” she said ruefully. “I don’t think she was going to budge from my room until I came.”

  “Well, you know my girl,” Mike said, a smile breaking free. “She’s bossy and always gets her way.”

  “Hey!” Jan playfully punched him in the arm and then snuggled up to him.

  “There’s my girl.” Adam wrapped an arm around her and hugged her tight. He gave her his one hundred watt smile and dragged her outside to the balcony where it was quiet. One other couple was making out in the corner, so he led her to the opposi
te end.

  “Are you sure you can be here?” he asked. “Nikoli’s here somewhere.”

  Lily’s face blanched and her heart twisted. Her flight or fight instincts kicked in, and she wanted to run far, far away.

  “I’ll take you home,” Adam said softly.

  “No.” She shook her head. As much as she wanted to run, she couldn’t. It was inevitable that she’d see Nikoli, and she’d rather do it here with her friends around her than somewhere else. “Jan will freak out if I leave, and then everyone will think I left because of him. I’m not going to run away like a scared little girl, Adam. That’s not who I am.”

  Adam gave her a rueful smile. “I like this new more confident you, but sometimes I wish the old Lily would rear her head up when you’re about to get hurt again for no reason.”

  Lily knew what he was referring to. Women loved Nikoli, and she’d heard he’d had women hanging off of him everywhere he went. Tonight would be no different, but she had to suffer through it. Not only for Jan, but for herself. She needed to prove she could get through the pain. That she’d be able to breathe again one day without feeling the burn of the ache scorching her insides.

  “You know how much I love you, don’t you?” she asked, giving him another hug. She didn’t know how she’d have gotten through those first days without him. He’d lain with her on Janet’s bathroom floor for two days. They hadn’t said anything, he’d just comforted her. He’d been her best friend, and it had helped more than anything else.

  “I love you too, Lily.” He hugged her back, and she made up her mind to talk to him, but she didn’t want him to take it the wrong way.

  “Adam, I need to talk to you.” She leaned against the balcony railing. “I’ve wanted to say this for a long time, but I didn’t because I thought you were happy.”

  “Have you reconsidered my proposal?” The hope in his eyes hurt. She didn’t want him to hurt like she was hurting.

  “No, Adam, it wouldn’t be fair to either of us, and you know it, but I do want to talk to you about Sue.”

  He sighed and settled down beside her.

  “The only thing I want is for you to be happy, you know that.”

  Adam nodded.

  “Are you happy, though? The very fact that you were willing to dump her for me says a lot. Are you marrying her because you want to, or because you feel it’s what’s expected of you? Are you going to be happy with her five years from now, ten?”

  “I honestly don’t know, Lils,” he said. “The closer the wedding gets, the more nervous and anxious I get. I start to question myself. Sometimes I think she manipulated me into asking her. I felt so pressured.”

  “Promise me that before you stand before God and all our family and friends, you’ll think about what you’re doing. Promise me you’ll call this off if it’s not going to make you happy. Please, Adam.”

  “I promise.” He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. “Let’s get back inside. Janet wants to show you all her wedding stuff. She has it all over here for some reason. I’m not sure why.”

  Janet attacked as soon as they came back into the main room. “I’m so sorry, Lily, I didn’t know until Mike told me. I swear I didn’t know.”

  “It’s okay, Jan.” I laughed. “It’s fine, really. Now what’s this I hear about wedding stuff? And why is it all at a frat house?”

  Jan looked madder than a wet hen. “Mike was trying to fix the sink and ended up flooding the apartment. We’re both staying here until it gets fixed.”

  “Oh, my,” Lily murmured. That sure sounded like something Mikey would do.

  “Come on, I’ll show you everything I’ve picked out so far. I need help with the flowers and the bridesmaids dresses…”

  “It’s a party, Jan!” Mike shouted from across the room. “Let’s party!”

  She shot him a death glare, and Lily giggled. Janet started muttering about stupid men on the way up the stairs. The three drunken guys who stumbled down the stairs past her suffered the same look. They didn’t waste time in getting out of her way. Lily laughed as she followed Jan down the hall, listening to her ramble on about colors and flowers.

  Nikoli had his lips plastered to the blonde when he heard them. He’d know Lily’s voice anywhere. He tore his mouth from the girl’s and stared in horror as the door slowly opened. Jan looked up, her expression going from shock to outright rage when she saw him with his hands under the girl’s shirt, his knee pressed up against her. It was Lily he saw, though.

  Her eyes widened. They went from him to the busty blonde he’d shoved up against a wall. Her eyes, while they had been shuttered, now pooled with pain and hurt. A single tear escaped before she turned around and walked away.

  Nikoli cracked. Seeing her again, after all these weeks, all the lies he’d told himself laughed in his face. The pain he’d seen in her eyes, the pain he’d been responsible for putting there not once, but twice, was a the slap upside the head he needed. He loved her. He’d tried so hard to convince himself he didn’t, but she haunted him. He loved her, and dammit, it was time he told her. It was time he put them both out of their misery.

  If she’d have him after this.

  He started cursing and detached himself from the girl, meaning to follow Lily, but the little bit of fluff in the doorway stopped him.

  “How dare you!” she shrieked. “Do you know what you did to her? Do you even care that she laid on my bathroom floor for two days? Do you care that she sobbed so hard she lost her voice? Who the fuck do you think you are, Nikoli Kincaid? You’re nothing but a worthless, no good…”

  “First this is my frat house, and I didn’t expect her to show up here. Second, I sure as hell didn’t mean for her to see that. Now get out of my way so I can check on her!”

  “Check on her?” Janet yelled. “You stay the hell away from her! She doesn’t need you causing her any more pain.”

  Nikoli simply picked up the pixie-like woman and set her aside, ignoring both women shouting at him as he ran down the stairs. He looked and didn’t see her anywhere, but everyone was staring at him.

  “Where?” he barked, and several people pointed to the front door. He wasted no time and ripped the door open to bound down the steps. He knew exactly where she’d go. The small gazebo up the street in the center of the outlying buildings. She loved it there, said it was peaceful.

  He stopped dead about twenty feet from the gazebo. There was a cell phone on the ground, with a trail of blood leading from it to the street. He took several more steps, and dread and panic froze his heart.

  The phone was Lily’s.

  ***

  A wave of nausea woke Lily up. She groaned and rolled over, but found she was in a small, tight place. She opened her eyes to darkness. The first thing she noticed was that she was moving. Calm down, she told herself. Calm down and focus. She listened and heard the sounds of the highway. She was in a trunk and moving. They weren’t going fast, probably under the speed limit.

  Her head was killing her. She closed her eyes and tried to remember what happened. She’d been running, running away from Nikoli and the girl he’d been with. She’d run smack into someone. She’d mumbled an apology and tried to go around him, but he’d caught her arm and pulled her around. He’d told her to be quiet and come with him or he’d cut her. Her upper arm started to sting as soon as she remembered him saying that. She’d tried to get away, and he had cut her. That hadn’t quieted her down. Adam’s dad had taught her to scream and fight like hell if she ever got in this kind of situation, and that was exactly what she’d done. The last thing she remembered was the guy’s fist barreling down at her, and then it had been lights out.

  If she panicked now, she’d end up dead and missing instead of just missing. She ignored the pain in her arm and started feeling around the trunk. The first thing she looked for was a trunk latch. All new cars had them in case someone got locked in. There wasn’t one, which said this was an older car.

  Next, she examined the taillights,
and this was her first bout of good luck. She turned and kicked the taillight several times as hard as she could, and it knocked the light out. Wiggling around, she managed to turn so her head was now looking out of the broken taillight. They were surrounded by cars. How to get their attention?

  She searched the interior of the trunk as best she could but found nothing. It was completely empty. Think, Lily, think, she told herself. Her bra! It was white. She rolled so she could unsnap it, and then worked until she got it off. She wrapped one strap around her wrist so the wind couldn’t rip it out of her hands. Then she thrust it out the taillight’s now empty hole and started waving.

  She prayed to God someone would see it and call the police.

  ***

  Nikoli called Luther and explained what was going on. He asked Luther to call 911. The campus police were not the ones to handle this. His thoughts kept running to the one place he didn’t want them to. The serial killer. He’d been getting closer and closer to the Boston Campus for months now.

  Kade. He’d call his brother.

  “What?” Kade barked into the phone when he answered.

  “It’s Lily.” Nikoli’s voice cracked, but he didn’t care. “She’s gone, Kade. Someone took her.”

  “Tell me.”

  “I came outside to find her, and all I can find is her phone…”

  “She might have accidentally dropped it,” Kade soothed.

  “No, you don’t understand,” Nikoli said. “There’s blood leading from her phone to the street. Someone forcefully took her, Kade.”

  “How long ago?”

  “Maybe five minutes.”

  “Stay where you are, I’m coming. Text me the address.”

  Nikoli did as he was told, but he knew enough about these kinds of situations to know every second counted. He looked up when he heard running steps. Luther, Mike, Adam, and several other guys were barreling toward him.

  “Stop!” he shouted. “We can’t track the area up in case there’s a clue.”