Alec's Dream

by Riley Edwards

  “What are you doing?” Macy inquired.

  “Calling Holden and asking him to bring food.”

  “Um…why?”

  “Because I’m hungry. Because no way in fuck am I leaving here knowing all you’ve eaten is popcorn. And lastly, because if I leave to go get food I know you won’t let me back in.”

  Alec bit back a smile when Macy’s eyes narrowed and her left eye started twitching. Damn, she was cute when she was worked up. He was also fighting a grin because he wondered if she even realized Joss had rested her cheek on her shoulder and Macy was rocking his daughter to sleep.

  “Yo,” Holden answered in his ear.

  “I need a favor,” Alec cut straight to it. “You still at the office?”

  “Yep.”

  “Can you stop by the Freeze and pick up four cheeseburgers and two large fries and drop it off at Macy’s?”

  “There a reason you’re using me as your personal delivery man?” Holden chuckled.

  “Yep. Because I’m standing in Macy’s living room and if I leave to go pick up our dinner she’s gonna lock me out,” Alec answered Holden with no remorse.

  “I can’t believe you just told him that,” Macy seethed.

  “Why? It’s the truth,” he returned.

  “So? I don’t even know Holden, now he’s going to think I’m a b…brat.”

  “A brat?” Alec laughed.

  “I don’t use foul language in front of children,” she informed him.

  “Um, babe, first Joss is a year old. You can say bitch in front of her and I promise she won’t repeat it. And second, she’s sound asleep.”

  “As amusing as listening to the two of you is, I’m hanging up now,” Holden said in Alec’s ear. “Text me her address. I’ll leave now.”

  Holden disconnected, and before Alec pocketed his phone, he sent Macy’s address.

  “It’s totally not cool you invited yourself over,” Macy whispered.

  “I know you know this already but you don’t need to whisper. Jocelyn can sleep though a parade and not flinch.”

  Alec’s gaze flicked from his sleeping daughter to Macy’s face, then back to Joss, and more warmth invaded his cold heart.

  What was it about Macy holding his kid that set him on fire?

  Alec didn’t have a type, he appreciated all women. Short, tall, thin, curvy, it didn’t matter to him as long as the woman had confidence. So maybe he did have a preference—self-possessed, secure in her body, and in search of a good time. That was something Alec could provide. He was a good-time guy, at least for a few hours.

  Though never in his life had he looked at a woman holding a child and thought it was the sexiest sight he’d ever seen. Never had he thought nurturing and sweet was a turn-on. But right then, he was turned the fuck on.

  It was ridiculous. He knew it. Alec had no business thinking any sort of thoughts about Macy, yet he couldn’t stop himself.

  The last week had been torture; he dreamt about her, he worried about her, and he was more than a little pissed she’d been dodging him.

  “Why’d you ghost me this week?”

  “Huh?”

  “Don’t play dumb.”

  Macy stepped back, cocked her head to the side, and her eyes squinted. He knew if her arms weren’t full of a sleeping baby she’d likely cross her arms over her chest.

  “I am not dumb.”

  Alec couldn’t help it, he smiled. He liked the vehemence in her tone. It was much better than Macy telling him she thought she was stupid and pitiful.

  “No, babe, you’re not. That’s why I told you not to play at it. You understood full and well what I was asking.”

  “I wasn’t ghosting you,” she denied.

  Alec took her in and wanted to call her out on her lie. But instead decided to let her have her play.

  “How was Doug when he picked up the kids?”

  Macy jolted, the change in topic keeping her off-balance just as he’d intended.

  “That’s…”

  “That’s what? None of my business? Thought I made myself pretty clear last weekend I was making it my business. Jonny checked in yesterday to tell me he hadn’t heard from you all week, from that I’m assuming your ex-dickhead kept his distance. How did today go?”

  “Jonny checked in?”

  “Yep.”

  “Why?”

  “How ‘bout we get back to Doug and I’ll tell you about Jonny in a minute.”

  The change in Macy was swift—she went from unsure to assessing then straight to pissed. What made the whole scenario even better was Macy was still swaying Jocelyn. The little girl’s booty resting on Macy’s forearm, Joss’s face pressed in Macy’s neck, and Macy’s hand on Joss’s back keeping her secure.

  It was like a switch had flipped. Alec had already determined he was wading in, he was going to fix the situation with Captain Fucknuts, but right then he figured out why he was getting involved.

  It wasn’t just to help a single mother. And it wasn’t just because Macy was sweet and liked his daughter. Those reasons were only part of it. The rest was because he simply wanted her.

  Those dreams he’d been having weren’t exactly platonic, G-rated fantasies. But before right then, Alec had thought it was because he hadn’t been laid since Jocelyn had landed on his doorstep.

  Now he knew the lack of sex didn’t have a damn thing to do with it.

  It was her.

  Just her.

  And now that he understood his motivation, it was game on.

  “How about we go back to why you’re here. When you’re done explaining that, you can tell me why Jonny’s checking in with you. After that, I’ll consider telling you how kid drop-off with Doug went.”

  He liked that, all of it.

  No, he loved that she was standing her ground.

  “I came over here because I haven’t talked to you all week. And Jonny called me to check in because I asked him to.”

  “Nope. Not good enough.”

  “What do you mean not good enough? I answered your questions.”

  “Why are you here?” Macy repeated.

  Alec looked at her, really took her in, not her beauty, not her cradling Joss, but the woman she was. Her trust had been abused. She’d been fucked over by an asshole husband who was continuing to play games.

  So he made another decision—no bullshit. No games, no bluster, no ego. She’d get straight-up honesty from him—always. And that included his emotions.

  “I wanted to see you. You dodged me all week, and don’t lie and say you didn’t because Macy, I saw you catch sight of me in the parking lot and you’d hightail it into your office.” Her eyes slid away from his and he knew he’d been right. “I also wanted to make sure everything went okay with your kids after what went down. But honestly? I’m here because I want to be.” Alec paused a moment and waited for her to look up at him. He figured he would’ve seen surprise but he wasn’t prepared for the slow blink or the shudder that ran through her. “As for Jonny, I asked him to keep me up to date on what was going on with Doug because I wanted to make sure you were safe.”

  “I talked to the kids after I picked them up from my parents. I realized you were right, I wasn’t doing them any favors by allowing Doug to walk all over me. That needed to stop and I made some changes this week.”

  Alec liked that she’d acknowledged that she had thought on their conversation. But more, he was ecstatic she was putting a stop to Doug’s continued abuse.

  Then Macy shocked him and went into detail about the talk she had with her kids. Rory’s confusion and her concerns about her daughter. Then about Caleb asking about her swollen knuckles. Alec was damn impressed she’d told her son the truth and had done it in a way that she managed not to out-and-out call the boy’s father a loser.

  “I’m worried about Caleb,” Macy admitted but the knock on the door cut off Alec’s response.

  “I’ll get it,” Alec told her, and walked to the door pulling his wallet out of his
back pocket on the way.

  Alec pulled open the door finding Holden standing there with two white takeout bags and a broad smile.

  Before he could greet his friend, Macy called out from behind him.

  “Did you check the peephole?”

  He shook his head at her smart-ass comment and found something else he liked about Macy—beyond her normal sweet self she was a bit of a wiseass.

  “When you start opening the door strapped I won’t bitch about you not checking to see who’s standing out there. Actually, that’s a lie, I’ll still be pissed,” he returned.

  Holden chuckled and held out the bags.

  “How much do I owe you?” Alex inquired.

  “We’ll square up later. Have a good night.”

  “Thanks.”

  Alec took the bags. Holden jogged back to the company suburban parked at the curb and he shut the door.

  As much as he enjoyed seeing Macy holding Joss, it was time to get Macy comfortable and that meant setting Jocelyn down.

  He tossed the bags next to the forgotten popcorn, made his way to the loveseat, and rearranged some pillows. Once he was done he moved back to Macy and pulled his daughter free, settling her on his chest.

  “You know, it normally takes me at least an hour to get her down.”

  “Really? She’s always out quick for me.”

  He believed that. He’d used to think that Joss was attached to Macy because she was a female and mother, albeit not hers—but now he knew better.

  Joss was attached to Macy because Macy was Macy—gentle, soothing, and easy to be around.

  Some of the same reasons he was getting attached. So he offered more honesty.

  “When Jocelyn first came to live with me.” Alec stopped and shook his head remembering that first night. “I almost called the social worker and told her I couldn’t do it, that she needed to come and pick Jocelyn back up. Joss screamed herself to sleep the first night. Nothing I did would calm her down. The second day and night were the same. All she did was cry. It was the hardest goddamn thing I’d ever been through. My child, who I didn’t know, was upset and I didn’t know what to do to make it better. I didn’t think I had it in me. I was almost ready to make the call, Joss was lying next to me in bed, her breaths coming out in stuttered gasps, then her tear-filled eyes locked onto mine and it was like she and I were having a silent conversation. I swear to you I could feel my girl's pain, her fear, and I knew I would do anything to take it away.”

  For long moments Macy didn’t say anything and Alec wondered if he’d shared too much. If admitting he almost allowed his own flesh and blood to be placed into foster care made her look at him differently. God knows he’d beaten himself up about it every day since.

  What kind of father did that make him?

  What kind of man?

  Alec’s hand on Jocelyn’s back stilled as he remembered those shameful days.

  “I think every new parent has moments of self-doubt, Alec. Moments of helplessness, fear…hell, that’s not even a new parent thing. That’s just basic parenting.” Macy stopped and took in a breath. “May I ask you something?”

  “Anything.”

  “When you enrolled Joss, you didn’t give any information on her mother. I know you’re her sole guardian and she’s not…involved. But…um…”

  “Jaime, Jocelyn’s mother died in a car accident when Jocelyn was almost three months old.”

  Macy’s face paled and she fidgeted from foot to foot. “Oh, God. I’m so sorry. For both of you.”

  Alec’s jaw clenched and he bit back the truth; there was nothing for Macy to be sorry for—at least not on his part. Jocelyn, yes, she’d lost her mother, but Alec didn’t feel like he’d lost a damn thing. And that made him a son-of-a-bitch and he knew it.

  Deciding saying nothing was best, Alec turned back to the loveseat, settled Jocelyn’s little body near the back cushion, and arranged some of Macy’s throw pillows so his daughter wouldn’t roll off the couch.

  When he straightened, Macy was there handing him the blanket he’d seen strewn on the sofa, the one she must’ve been using while eating her damn popcorn and watching TV. Belatedly, the temperature in the house registered.

  “You keep it cool in here.”

  It wasn’t near freezing outside, not yet, but there was a chill in the air. Cold enough most people, including him, had already cranked their thermostats up.

  “Uh, yeah. When the kids aren’t here I lower the heat. It saves on heating oil.”

  Macy’s cheeks had pinkened just a touch and he wondered if she was simply conservative with money or if she was hurting.

  Then he remembered what she’d been eating for dinner and rage bubbled in his gut.

  Fucking Doug Spencer.

  No spousal support.

  No child support.

  What a dickless asshole.

  11

  I knew by the look on Alec’s face he was thinking about something. And when his mouth tipped down into a frown I knew he’d figured it out.

  Embarrassment burned.

  “I’ll go turn up the heat.”

  Before I could move away, Alec grabbed my hand.

  “Don’t.”

  “I don’t want Jocelyn to get cold.”

  Alec glanced at his daughter snug as she could be, then his eyes came back to me and struggled not to look away.

  He saw too much. He always did and it made me uncomfortable.

  “Joss is just fine. Let’s sit and eat.”

  The delicious smell of cheeseburgers from the Freeze had not gone unnoticed. The yumminess invaded the room and I couldn’t deny I was hungry the way my belly rumbled, but I still didn’t want Alec to know.

  “Do you need a plate?” I asked, trying to buy a little more time.

  “Nope. Sit.”

  “I’m sure you’re used to snapping your fingers and having women obey your every command but you could try a please.”

  Alec’s brow bowed up into a perfect arch and he had really nice eyebrows.

  “Please take a seat, Macy.”

  He gestured to the couch and I couldn’t help but giggle at the absurdity of being invited to sit on my own couch even though I’d asked for just that.

  Once we were both seated, Alec dug into the bag and handed me a white paper sleeve of greasy, salty fries. There was no way I could pass up my favorite food.

  “Thank you,” I murmured and greedily shoved a few in my mouth.

  Perfection.

  “So, you were telling me you were worried about Caleb,” Alec prompted and unwrapped his burger.

  After what he’d shared about his first days with Jocelyn, I felt compelled to answer. He’d opened up to me and it would be rude not to reciprocate.

  “When I told Caleb I lost my temper and hit his dad he told me it was about time and maybe Doug wouldn’t yell at me anymore. But it was more than that, it was the way he looked at me. He was angry but no sadness.”

  “No sadness?”

  Gah. I was screwing this up.

  “I can’t explain it. I don’t want my son to hurt, but when I see those flashes of sadness it reminds me he cares. That he loves Doug and wants his dad in his life. It reminds me why I’m knocking myself out trying to facilitate a relationship. I’m scared for Caleb. I don’t want him to be resentful and angry. I don’t know how to put it into words.”

  “Babe, Caleb’s not a kid anymore, he’s starting to come into himself. His eyes are open, he understands what’s going on around him and he’s finding he doesn’t like it much.”

  Oh no.

  No, no, no. I felt it coming and I couldn’t deal with it.

  “Please don’t. I can’t handle another truth bomb.”

  “Don’t need to deliver one seeing as you already knew Caleb’s smart and aware of who his dad is. The good news for you is, he also knows who his mom is, and he loves her, and is happy to see her coming into herself.”

  He was right, I did know my son. He was sma
rt and he did know, something I wished I could’ve shielded him from but I couldn’t.

  Since Alec was no longer demanding me to tell him how the exchange went I decided to share that, too.

  “The drop-off was…unpleasant,” I started, and Alec looked confused so I hurried to continue. “This week I decided Doug was no longer welcome at the house. I spoke to my attorney to make certain I didn’t have to allow him access to my home and luckily I didn’t. So I called Doug and told him we would be meeting at the rec center from now on.”

  “Good choice,” Alec cut in. “Well-lit, security cameras, and lots of people going and coming.”

  I hadn’t thought of those things, but they were all added bonuses to Doug no longer coming to my house.

  “He grumbled about it, I refused to give in, and today he met me there to pick up the kids. He was perfectly nice until the kids were in the car, then he stopped pretending he was some sort of decent human since Rory couldn’t hear him. He expressed his displeasure and told me he would be dropping the kids at the house on Sunday. I explained if he did that he’d be met by the police.”

  “Displeasure?”

  Alec’s eyes had narrowed and I felt it was best to tread cautiously. I knew how quickly the fire sparked and I didn’t want to get him all riled up.

  “Yep. Like I said, he wasn’t happy the exchange was happening in public. The thing about Doug is, he likes to be in control. He thinks he should be in charge of everything and everyone. And he doesn’t like to be told no.” I couldn’t help the sigh that whooshed past my lips even though I’d been trying to stop it. “I’ve already resigned myself to a showdown that’s going to happen on Sunday. He’s going to show up here to drop off the kids just to force my hand. This is what he wants.”

  I settled back into the corner of the couch and tucked my feet under me trying to warm them up without being too obvious.

  “What do you mean?”

  Alec still hadn’t taken a bite of his dinner and I felt bad for unloading my problems on him.

  “Why don’t we drop it so you can eat? You said you were hungry.”

  “I can eat and listen at the same time. I’m nifty like that.” Alec winked.