Alec's Dream

by Riley Edwards

  I wasn’t sure what sparked my fit of giggles. Maybe it was Alec using the word nifty, maybe it was the playful wink—because, come on, who knew Alec could be playful—or maybe it was my very active, dirty mind.

  When I finally settled down and caught sight of Alec, my breath caught.

  He was staring at me, but not like his normal, watchful self. It was different. He was smiling but that was different, too.

  The atmosphere in the room changed and the air suddenly became thick.

  “Damn,” Alec mumbled.

  “What?” I hated that my voice sounded so weak but the way Alec was looking at me was freaking me out.

  “Didn’t think it was possible for you to be any more beautiful, but woman, when you laugh, you light up the room.”

  Holy shit.

  Did he seriously just say that? As far as compliments went, that had to have been the best one ever!

  “Um…” I tucked my head and wished my hair wasn’t up in a ponytail so it could fall over my face.

  “Don’t do that.” Alec reached over and tipped my chin up once again, locking his eyes with mine “Don’t hide from me, Macy.”

  The change that had started intensified—sizzled all around us. I wanted to look away, run away, hide, do something to break the spell but Alec wouldn’t let me. He held me captive and I was unsure what was happening.

  No, I knew what was happening, I just wasn’t sure if I wanted it to happen. We both sat immobile—the space between when someone makes the first move—the anticipation of a first kiss, a touch, it electrified the air. It made me want to lean forward and offer him my lips, but instead, I remained still.

  Alec slowly swiped his thumb over my bottom lip before he dropped his hand. Unwittingly, my tongue licked over where his digit had traced and Alec’s eyes dropped to my mouth. He didn’t have to look directly at me—I could see the lust flicker.

  What in the world was going on? Perfect, handsome Alec Hall was sitting on my couch, paying me compliments, and staring at my lips like he wanted to devour them. I’d entered la-la-land.

  “Babe, I’m holding on by a thread here,” he groaned. “Do me a favor, yeah?”

  “Um…”

  “Don’t test my limits.”

  “Limits?”

  Alec shook his head and sat back, putting much-needed space between us, and casually picked his fully-loaded cheeseburger back up and took a bite like nothing had happened.

  But nothing had happened—not really—just my stupid overactive imagination playing tricks on me.

  “Tell me what you meant?” he prompted after he swallowed.

  “Huh?”

  “You said that the shitbag was going to show up here on Sunday to drop off the kids. Why is that what he wants?”

  “He doesn’t care about that, he cares that I told him he wasn’t welcome here anymore so now he’ll dig in and make a big deal about it because it’s something I told him he wasn’t allowed to do. But more, he wants me to have to make good on my threat about calling the police. That’s the part he really wants. He even asked me what Rory would think of me. Aurora, not Caleb. I think that’s his game, he wants to turn my six-year-old against me. He knows he can’t pull the wool over Caleb—he’s too old, he’s seen how Doug really behaves—but Rory was three when we divorced. She doesn’t remember.”

  “I don’t disagree with you but why would he want to turn Rory? Has he mentioned wanting more visitation or custody?”

  Doug wants more visitation? That was laughable. More time with his kids would mean less time to drink, gamble, and screw women. No, he didn’t want more time, he simply wanted Rory to want him and hate me. That was classic Doug.

  “He doesn’t want them. He goes months without seeing them. This isn’t a new game, it’s just the first time he’s changed it up and pulled Rory into it. He’s done this since we were divorced. He sees them regularly for a few months, then he’ll be gone for four or five months or longer, then he magically reappears with excuses to Caleb about having to work. He sticks around a while, then repeat.”

  I wasn’t paying attention so I missed it, but belatedly I realized I really should’ve been paying more attention. Alec’s jaw had gone hard and his eyes were threatening to spark fire.

  “We’re all used to it,” I rushed out, trying to calm the beast. But when the muscle in his cheek jumped I knew that was the wrong thing to say.

  “That makes it even more fucked-up.”

  Alec wasn’t wrong, but it didn’t change the facts.

  “I know it does, but I cannot make him love his children.”

  Thankfully, he nodded his agreement and took another bite of his burger and I swung my eyes to my television and pretended to watch. When really I was contemplating what the hell had happened ten minutes ago and if I’d finally lost what was left of my mind and was hallucinating.

  The next thirty minutes went by with idle chitchat. Mostly about Jocelyn. She still hadn’t taken actual steps though she was getting brave and standing up more and more. Alec didn’t say anything more about Joss’s mom and I didn’t ask. My heart broke for the sweet girl who’d stolen my heart.

  I was curious if Alec and Jaime had been married when she’d passed away. There was definitely anguish in his eyes when he’d told me she’d died, but also bitterness. I supposed it was part of the grieving process. I couldn’t imagine losing someone so close, someone who you loved deeply and had planned a future with.

  After Alec had polished off three burgers and had forced me to eat one, he cleaned up the wrappers and picked a still-sleeping Jocelyn up off the couch.

  So when he stepped close to me to say goodnight, I was both relieved he couldn’t touch me and little bummed. Which was stupid. I had no business entertaining wild thoughts.

  “I want you to come to my place for dinner tomorrow.” When I stood stunned because, hello, Alec had asked me to his house, he continued. “I’ll cook.”

  As much as I wanted to go, I couldn’t.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea. As a matter of fact, I don’t think it’s wise for you to stop over here either.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Things are already complicated enough for me. We both have kids. You’re a dad at my daycare. There’s a lot of reasons why it’s not a good idea.”

  “Don’t do that,” he returned.

  “Do what?”

  “Lump me in with that shitpouch.”

  “I wasn’t—”

  “Yeah, Macy you are. Or you’re trying to. I know things are complicated with the pissant, I know we both have kids. But I am not him and you do not have to protect yourself from spending time with me. I’d like you to come over for dinner, not a drunken fuckfest. I offered to cook you dinner, not string you up and eat you. Though both can be arranged at a later date. Dinner, Macy. There’s no harm in that.”

  “Yes, there is.”

  My heart was pounding and I needed him to hurry and leave.

  “No, baby, there’s not. Two friends getting together to share a meal.”

  “Friends don’t offer drunken fuckfests, nor do they offer to tie you up and eat you.”

  Alec’s gaze dropped to my chest and his mouth bowed up into the most delicious smirk.

  “I said string-up, but tie-up works, too. And you can deny it all you want, but trust me, I can see the evidence of your lie. And baby, it is sexy as fuck that your nipples are poking through your tee. But for now, until you learn I am not the dickweasel and you figure out you can trust me, we’ll be friends.”

  Never had I met someone so blunt. Alec just said what the hell ever popped into his mind without care or thought.

  “It’s just cold,” I blurted out.

  “Babe it ain’t that cold, and I can assure you your nipples were not on display until I started talking about eating you out. Because if they had been like that all night, I can guaran-damn-tee you I would’ve tasted you already.”

  “See! That’s why I can’t come o
ver to your house. You can’t come here either. You’re…you’re…”

  “I’m what, Macy?”

  “Dangerous.”

  His smile went wide and his eyes sparked with a new kind of fire that scared me more than the pissed-off fury that I’d seen blaze.

  “I’m the best kind of dangerous.”

  “That’s nuts! There’s no such thing.”

  Alec stepped closer, Jocelyn held tight against his chest, and he cupped my cheek.

  “Have dinner with me. Just friends, Macy.”

  “I…um…”

  “We’ll take this as slow as you need until you learn you can trust me.”

  “Alec—”

  “Dinner, Macy.”

  I nodded and much to my surprise, instead of the arrogant smile I thought I’d get, his eyes warmed and he gave me a small grin.

  “I left my address on the counter. Six, okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  Damn. I wanted to kick myself for sounding so breathy. We were having dinner—as friends—nothing more.

  “See you tomorrow.” His thumb swept across my face one more time and my knees felt like jelly.

  I was wrong. Alec wasn’t dangerous, he was deadly.

  It was much later and I was lying in bed thinking about Alec’s visit when my cell beeped with a text.

  I snatched it off my nightstand and smiled—Becky, messaging to tell me the lights were out and my kids were tucked away at Doug’s. I hated that they were there, I knew they were not safe, and I had no control to stop my ex’s vitriol.

  I sent back a thank you text, hit send, then because I had to share with someone, I sent a second message.

  Me: I think I have a date with Alec Hall tomorrow.

  Becky’s response was immediate: You think?

  Me: Dinner at his house.

  Becky: Get it girl!

  Me: Do you think I’m crazy?

  Becky knew Alec, well, she didn’t know him well, but she was friends with McKenna Swagger, therefore she’d been invited to get-togethers at both the Swagger farm and McKenna and Nixon’s house. She and Rob had even gone to McKenna’s wedding.

  Becky: Uh, yeah. I mean you’ve been divorced three years, not one date. Not one, even though I keep telling you to jump back on the bike. But no, you don’t listen.

  The message broke and I waited for more. Once my friend was on a tirade I could get ten text messages back to back.

  Becky: Now you have a date with Alec Hall. Girl, you skipped the training wheels. The man is hot.

  She was not wrong. Alec was hot, and so far out of my league, I was probably misreading the whole thing.

  Becky: Clean up on aisle five—hot.

  I choked out a laugh at all the fire, smoke, and devil emojis she added.

  Me: He said dinner as friends. I’m probably wrong. He would never be interested in me.

  Becky: You’re lucky you’re three miles from me or I’d punch you in your cooter for saying something so dumb. Look in the mirror, Macy.

  Me: Cooter?

  I added my own smiley emojis and shook my head at her antics.

  Becky: Vagina, who-ha, honeypot, whatever you wanna call it, I’d punch you in it.

  God, she was funny.

  Me: Goodnight, thanks for the update.

  Becky: I’m calling you first thing.

  Me: Didn’t think you wouldn’t be.

  After one last text from my friend complete with kissy faces and more fire emojis, I tossed my phone aside and rolled to my side.

  It was just dinner with a friend and Jocelyn would be there.

  Nothing could go wrong.

  12

  Alec Hall stood leaning against his kitchen counter and watched Jocelyn bang a toy against her new plastic house. The thing was gigantic and pink with purple accents. Never in his life had he thought he’d be standing where he was, yet he couldn’t remember what it was like not to have his daughter in his life.

  Nine months ago his life had been flipped upside down, and if he was being truthful, he’d thought the curveball had been cruel. A child made by accident with a woman he didn’t know other than the sounds she made when he got her off.

  Then lies and secrets followed.

  Betrayal was a knife that twisted in his gut every time he thought about Jaime.

  But right then, watching his daughter up on her knees bouncing to the music that blared through the house, he knew he wouldn’t have it any other way—not ever. And that meant he wouldn’t change Jaime dying—which was a fucked-up way of thinking.

  “You like this song, baby girl?”

  Alec pushed off the counter and moved to his girl, swinging her up into his arms. As the first strings of Little Big Town filled the room, Jocelyn smiled at her dad and pounded on his chest.

  The tempo picked up and Alec started singing the first verse of Boondocks. Jocelyn smiled a slobbery grin, showing off the few teeth that had cut through, and Alec kept singing, his girl babbling along as they danced in the living room. His voice faltered when he starting laughing.

  Never, not in a million years, would he have thought the highlight of his week would be singing with his baby girl on a Saturday afternoon after he’d cleaned the house, did laundry, and started dinner. But there it was—nothing better than dancing with Joss while he sang to her.

  “You’re a silly girl.” Alec kissed her cheek and smiled when she giggled.

  Thank God she’d recovered. Joss was happy and thriving. He couldn’t ask for more.

  “Dadadada,” Joss screeched and Alec picked the song back up.

  The song was coming to an end when he heard the knock. Checking the clock on the wall and seeing that Macy was five minutes early made him smile.

  He’d been worried she wouldn’t show. Last night he’d tried his best to keep his body in check and his hands to himself.

  Christ, the woman tested his control.

  “Come on, baby girl, Macy’s here,” he told Jocelyn and started for the door.

  Alec opened the door, and before he could greet Macy, Jocelyn started squirming.

  “Mamamama,” Joss chanted, doing her best to wiggle free from Alec and launch herself at Macy.

  “Hey there, Joss,” Macy cooed and reached out. “Silly girl, daddy’s got you.”

  “Mamamama.”

  Macy’s gaze went from Joss to him and his heart lurched at the trepidation he saw. He wasn’t sure if it was being at his house that was making her nervous or if she was worried he’d be upset his daughter called her “mama”.

  It was not the first time Joss had babbled that word. And while it stung, he knew Joss was simply jabbering. It didn’t make it easier, but how could he be upset?

  “You better take her before she pulls a muscle trying to get to you,” Alec said, offering his daughter to Macy.

  Alec passed Joss to Macy and it still amazed him how effortless Macy was around kids, his in particular. He’d seen her over the months with all the children at the daycare. She was sweet and loving to all of them, but she gave special attention to Jocelyn. He knew not only from pick-up and drop-off, but countless times throughout the day Alec checked the live video feed and more times than not, Macy had Joss on her hip, even when she was doing arts and crafts with the older kids.

  “So…um…was that you singing?” Macy asked as Alec closed the door.

  “You heard?”

  “Uh, yeah, it was kinda loud. I mean, I didn’t have my ear pressed against your door or anything.”

  “Let’s go into the living room,” Alec suggested, and tried to move around Macy to lead the way, but she reached out and grabbed his bicep.

  “Are you blushing?” She chuckled.

  “Doubt it. I don’t blush.” Or did he? Because his face felt awfully hot. “Come on, I’ll turn down the music.”

  Alec passed her and went to the receiver and lowered the volume.

  “Was daddy singing to you?” Macy asked Joss.

  “Dadada.”

  �
��I think he was. I saw him dancing with you, too. You’re a good dancer, bouncing with daddy.”

  Alec shook his head at Macy’s silly way of telling him she saw him with his girl. Anyone else, he may’ve cared, but he found he gave zero fucks that Macy had heard and seen them.

  “Set her down so you can take off your coat,” Alec suggested. “Beer? Wine? Water? I picked you up some of that Angry Orchard if you’d like one of those.”

  He watched as Macy went still before she brought her startled eyes to him. He’d always thought they were simply brown, but they weren’t. They had unusual flecks of gold in them that made them twinkle.

  Twinkle? What the fuck?

  “I’ll have one of those, please.” Macy set Jocelyn down then looked around. “Your house is really nice.”

  “I bought it when I quit my job at Homeland and decided to work for Gemini Group.”

  “Homeland? As in Homeland Security?” Macy asked.

  Alec realized in that moment Macy knew nothing about him, other than his current employment which she’d only learned because it was on Jocelyn’s daycare forms. But what struck him as odd was he wanted to share. Something in the past he’d never done.

  “Yeah. I went to work for DHS when I got out of the Navy,” he told her as he bent to pick up Joss.

  With practiced ease, he pulled the tray from Joss’s highchair and set her down, strapping her in before replacing the tray setting a few crackers in front of her.

  “I was recruited before I separated,” he continued. “It seemed like a good choice at the time.”

  “But you didn’t like it?”

  “No. I don’t like bullshit. I like fake people who posture even less. I was lucky that Nixon had been trying to get me to come work for him, so when I couldn’t take it anymore I already had another job lined up. What about you? Have you always worked at the daycare?”

  Alec checked on Jocelyn one last time and went into the kitchen to get Macy her drink and he noted Macy moved to stand next to the highchair.

  “No. I used to have a really boring job in accounts receivable. Then after I had Caleb, I was a stay-at-home mom until about two years before my divorce. I’ve known Monica Peters a long time and when she heard I was looking for a job, she offered me the director position.”