This is Living (Living #1.5)

by Melody Dawn

  And that’s two points for me; let’s see him try to ignore that request. So, maybe I’m going a little overboard and if he is truly busy, I’m going to feel like an idiot and either way, I know he is going to be very pissed at me. But, my mom’s intuition tells me he is rejecting my calls for a reason, so I’m going to take the chance. I can’t stand knowing something is wrong with my kids without having an obsessive need to fix it.

  In about 10 minutes, my phone rings with my baby boy’s face lighting up the screen. Pressing the talk button, I say in a calm voice, “Hello Jayson. How are you?”

  Poor thing, I don’t think he even takes a breath. I’m trying not to react by laughing, but he’s so worked up, I can’t help it. I know having Susan insist he call me was dirty, but if he had really been busy with a patient, she would have called back to let me know.

  “What the fucking hell, mom? Why are you having the fucking hospital administrator making me fucking call you?”

  “You sound a bit out of sorts, son. Are you ok?”

  “Yes, I’m fucking ok, but I’m busy working.”

  “I’m not so sure about that. You’ve said “fucking” four times in less than a minute.”

  I hear him take a deep breath and the sound of the ER’s electric doors sliding open comes through the phone. “Just a minute so I can get outside before I talk to you. Obviously you’ve talked to Chloe and that’s why you’re calling me. Stay out of it, mom.”

  With a scowl no one can see, I think, what is wrong with everyone today?

  “You need to tone it down a bit. What is the matter with you? Is this how you were speaking to Chloe when she visited you? Because if it is, I’m going to kick your ass. And you know I can still do it, right? I don’t care how big and tall you are OR how old you might be. Got it?”

  I know he is rolling his eyes at me. “Yeah, I got it. We’ll be fine. Did you need anything else?”

  “Yes, I do need something else. Who is Melissa?”

  “Are you joking? She’s nobody but a new nurse. I’m not fucking her if that’s your next question.”

  “Actually, I’m asking…you know what; forget it.” I slam down the phone or actually I hit the end button as hard as I can, which doesn’t make me feel any better. I hate goddamned cell phones. Pressing an end button is not nearly as satisfying as slamming down a phone to make a point.

  “Jayson Matthew Reece, I’m calling your father.” Lord Jesus, who am I talking to? There’s no one here, but me. All I know is that Phillip better answer his phone and then he better get his son in line…

  “Dr. Reece’s office; how may I help you?”

  “Hi Katie, this is Ava. Is Phillip busy? If not, it’s important that I speak with him.”

  “Just a moment, Ava; let me check.”

  See, that is how you speak to someone on the phone…with respect. My temper is getting more and more riled at this whole mess.

  Quickly, Katie comes back to the phone. “Ava, Dr. Reece asks if you can hold on a bit. He’s finishing up writing some notes after his last patient.”

  “Sure, hon…that’s fine.” He better not keep me waiting long.

  “Ava, how can I help you?”

  “I’ll tell you how you can help me. You can get your son in line…that’s how.”

  “And which son are we talking about here?”

  He is really pissing me off with the calm voice thing he’s got going on. “Your youngest son…that’s who! He wouldn’t answer my calls and then when I finally spoke to him, he yelled and cursed at me. And he made Chloe cry by doing the same to her. You need to get him under your precious control you’re always yammering on about.” Shut up, Ava…that’s going a little bit too far.

  “I will talk to him, although I have to say that sounds odd for Jayson. So, he just cursed and yelled at the two of you with no provocation?”

  “Um…”

  “Um is not a word.”

  “Phillip! Ok, so maybe Chloe might have insinuated he was cheating on her since he had to work a double shift without contacting her and maybe I might have called a few times and then when he didn’t answer, I had Susan make him call me. I’m just trying to fix things for Chloe, ok. She called me crying because YOUR son upset her.”

  “It sounds to me that both you and Chloe need to leave him alone while he’s working and discuss these issues when he is at home or at our house. I would imagine she insulted him by suggesting something so ridiculous and you embarrassed him by having his employer come down to the ER to make him call his mother. At the same time, he shouldn’t have yelled or cursed at either of you; I will talk to him.”

  “You had better talk to him…”

  Annoyed, I hear him sigh into the phone. I know exactly what he is doing. He is running his hand through his hair with his eyes pinched shut. I decide to concede here since I’ve achieved what I set out to do.

  “Thank you, love. I will let you get back to your patients,” I say in a sweet voice.

  I hear him chuckle into the phone. “Switching to a sweet tone isn’t going to help now, you know that, right?”

  I immediately roll my eyes. “And don’t roll your eyes at me. I’ll see you when I get home. Be ready.” Damn it, how does he do that?

  “Of course, your wish is my command,” I say sarcastically. “Yes, it is…don’t forget that.” He laughs again and the phone goes dead. Dominant men…I just had to have one. Well, that’s not important right now.

  What is important is that I have a son to torture when he calls to grovel and a daughter-in-law to fix when she gets here.

  Since this is an emotional emergency, I raid my pantry for something that will cure all of Chloe’s ills. She practically has an affair with chocolate…hmm, maybe not the right thing to say in this situation, but she does love it. I find some chocolate covered caramels, Oreo cookies, and I have chocolate ice cream in the freezer. If I can’t fix this mess, then the chocolate should at least knock her into a sugar coma. She should be here soon so I set everything out on the counter for when she walks in.

  My phone rings and there’s Phillip’s son smiling at me from my screen. Ok, it’s grovel time.

  Pulling out my coldest voice, I answer, “Yes, how can I help you?”

  He sounds confused, which makes me bite my lip to keep from snickering. “What? Mom, it’s me…Jayson.”

  “I know of no one by that name.”

  “Are you drunk? What happened to all those stories of carrying us in your body for 9 months, 19 hours of labor, stretch marks...?”

  “Your point?”

  “Mom, you know who this is. I’m calling you back since we didn’t get to finish our last phone call.”

  “Do you mean the one where you cursed and yelled at me?”

  “I thought you didn’t know who this was? Yes, I’m talking about that one. The one where you called my boss and she insisted I call you in front of the whole ER staff. Do you remember now? Look, I don’t know what Chloe told you, but I’m tired and the last thing I need are the two of you accusing me…”

  Jayson, she called here sobbing like the world had come to an end. So, sue me, I got a little impatient when you wouldn’t answer. Maybe I shouldn’t have called Susan, but we all make mistakes, right?” He doesn't answer immediately so I press a bit harder. “After all, we can’t all be perfect like you.”

  I hear a huge sigh coming through the phone and the weariness in his voice starts to make me give in a little. Stupid mother’s heart.

  “Jayson, listen to me. I know you and Chloe have had this fairy tale marriage, but that is not the way it always is. People fight, scream, insult each other, and then they forgive and have fabulous makeup sex. That’s what keeps me and your father going.”

  “Jesus, mom…are you trying to scar me permanently?

  Finally, I hear my boy laughing…that’s what he needs. He takes things entirely too seriously sometimes.

  “Here’s a hint…your wife will be here in just about 5 minutes. I will s
often her up for you, then I will keep the boys for you as well. I suggest you show up here with a VERY different attitude than what you displayed when she visited you.”

  “Mom, I was fine until she acted like I’ve been cheating on her when all I do is fucking work.”

  “Maybe that’s your problem; you fucking work too much. And what is with the potty mouth today…quit saying “fucking” every 5 seconds. There’s a reason why your wife got it into her head that you might be stepping out on her. I’m not saying she was right to infer that without speaking to you first, but son, you have to accept some of the blame here. Women are different than men. We are emotional and sometimes a little crazy, especially at certain times of the month.”

  Though he can’t see me, I grin…I know that is going to get him. He hates when I bring that stuff up. I give him to the count of three to react.

  “Mom, can you leave out the period talk, please? As for dropping the F bomb, I can’t imagine where I learned that from.”

  “I can’t imagine either…I’m a lady; I don’t speak that way,” I say primly while hoping there’s no lightening anywhere around me.

  “You’re crazy, old woman, you know that” I hear him ask affectionately.

  “Maybe so, but because of me you’ll get to do your new favorite word instead of just saying it. And you won’t be sleeping on the couch. Remember what I said; I’ll see you soon.”

  “I’ll be there as soon as I can. Thank you. And I’m sorry for the yelling and cursing. I know it’s no excuse; I’m very tired and all of this came out of left field; I had no idea there was a problem.”

  “Of course you are sorry. MY son wouldn’t act any other way. Now, your father’s son…a totally different story.”

  We both laugh because I have been designating whose son they were for all of their lives. If they made good grades and behaved…all mine. When they partied and acted like manwhores…all their father’s offspring.

  “For the record, I think y’all both need some rest and alone time. Now, I need to go. I see Chloe driving up. Hurry home as soon as you can.” Quickly, I end the call before she steps through the door.

  Ok, one down and one to go. My back door opens and Chloe walks in with two of my angels. Brendon and Braxton race to me screaming “Nanna!” while bowling me over with hugs. Chloe walks in behind them looking like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders. Her eyes are bloodshot and puffy and she isn’t smiling…not like she usually is. Hmm, this may be worse than what I thought.

  “Chloe, I’m going to set the boys up in front of the TV and then we can talk.” I gesture towards the chocolate. “Dig in…I’ll be right back.”

  “Let’s go boys, you can watch a movie.”

  They cheer and take off towards the living room. I follow behind quickly and after a few disagreements on what to watch, I set them up with the movie, “Cars” from the hundreds of Disney movies we’ve bought for the grandkids to watch. My home is open concept so we will be able to see them while we have our heart-to-heart.

  Setting them down on the rug in front of the TV, I get a movie going and say, “All right, my babies, Nanna is going to be in the kitchen with your Mama. Stay here and watch the movie.” By the end of my sentence, they are in the movie zone and don’t hear what I’m saying. Or if they do, they don’t reply.

  When I get back to the kitchen, Chloe has all three of the chocolate items set up in front of her at the kitchen table.

  “You are going to have to work out for a solid week if you eat all of that.”

  She grins at me and I’m so glad to see it. I don’t have much time so it’s good I have her smiling already. “Do you want something to drink?”

  “Water is good. I don’t think I should drink a Coke while eating all of this junk.”

  I set the water down in front of her and take a seat. “So, tell me what is going on with you two.” I see fear and pain cross her face. It makes me want to take her in my arms and hug her.

  I have two very different relationships with my daughters-in-law. Neither is better than the other, but the differences are huge. With Madison, we joke and laugh…we sort of get each other because I see a lot of myself in her, while she thinks I’m crazy and funny. With Chloe, I’m more of a mother figure because that is what she needs from me, although we still laugh a lot together. So, that is how I’m going to approach this…like a mom would…painful advice and all.

  She explains about the past two nights of Jayson working with no contact and then not coming home when he said he would. Next, she details her interaction with Melissa, who I haven’t forgotten about, and then she and Jayson’s conversation in the on-call room. I can tell she feels badly about the way it all went down because she is studying her chocolate ice cream like it’s the cure for the common cold.

  “Chloe, look at me. Things are not as bad as you think they are. Just as I told Jayson…”

  “Wait, you talked to him?”

  She looks at me in confusion and I answer, “Yes, just a few minutes ago. He is on his way here.”

  “Shit. Are you serious? I didn’t want him to know I talked to you about this.”

  “Well, he not only knows, but he probably has also talked to his father who better be setting his behind straight. And since you already talked to Madison this morning, I’m assuming they will be next on the list.”

  “How did you know I talked to Madison?” She rolls her eyes and says, “Never mind. I need to know how to fix this.”

  “Madison’s advice is to be naked and screw him several times. Something it seems she employs when she and Connor disagree.”

  “Yuck, Ava…yuck! I don’t want to know about Connor; believe me I hear enough from Madison. Do you know how hard it is to look at him when she tells me that stuff?”

  Chloe bites her lip as she says this to me and I know she’s trying not to grin. I have her number though.

  “Ok, enough about Connor and Madison’s debauchery; let’s talk about why you think Jayson would even consider the option of cheating on you. I’m still not sure how a double shift translates to you thinking he was with another woman.”

  I can see the frustration on her face, but she doesn’t answer. “Are you going to let me into the workings of that steel trap of a mind you have?” I grin widely at her when saying this hoping she will respond.

  “Because, Ava…he didn’t call. Or text. Or come home the next morning when he said he was going to. That’s not like him at all. It made me worry he was in an accident and then my brain just kind of kept going until I decided he might be with another woman. It may not be rational, but give me a break; I’m only human.”

  “Chloe, you knew what his career choice was when you got together; you’ve never had a problem with it before. Why now? I get that he has never not called before, but why didn’t you call him and ask, ‘Where the hell are you?’ You can bet I would have called Phillip and I probably have at some point in his career.”

  “You don’t lie there all night until you’ve created a false picture in your head and then expect him to understand the instant you drop it on him. So again, what are you not telling me?”

  Sucking in a hard breath, she says something that breaks my heart. “I don’t know, Ava. I feel like he is moving forward and I’m being left behind. I don’t know how else to say it other than that. Something feels off between us right now and I hate it; it’s never been like this before.”

  I give her hand a squeeze because I can imagine it must be awful to have these feelings. I remember feeling some of these very same emotions when I was pregnant with the twins. Wait, is that what she isn’t telling me?

  Giving her the look that always got my boys to confess, I ask, “Are you pregnant? Because I remember second guessing everything when I was carrying Connor and Jayson.”

  She gives me a guilty look and says, “Um…”

  “Oh, I’m so excited!! So, how far along are you? Are you having morning sickness? Tell me everything.”


  Looking above my eyes, she says, “No, that’s not it at all.”

  “Uh huh, would you like to look me in the eye this time and say that again? You forget, I had to get through 18 years of Connor and Jayson trying to get around me so I have plenty of practice in getting the information I need.”

  I give her an exaggerated wink and I can see she is trying not to answer me or laugh at my ridiculous gesture.

  “Since I’m not telling you before him, I will only say that I may or may not be with a very strong emphasis towards yes.”

  “Yes! Another grandbaby to spoil. I cannot wait. I hope it’s a little girl. We can never have too many girls.”

  I rush around the table and grab Chloe up in a hug. “Ok, I get you don’t want to tell anyone before him, but I’m so happy you’re pregnant. When did this happen? Have you seen a doctor?”

  My squeals of joy and non-stop questions mask the sounds of the back door opening. Suddenly, I hear the sound of footsteps and I look up to see my ninja son standing there staring at us with his mouth hanging open.

  Wordlessly, Chloe and I both stare back at him. With all three of us in shock, it feels like a century passes before anyone speaks or moves. We look like those tableaus where the people in them are frozen in time. My brain is trying to backpedal to see if I can fix this. But, I’m not coming up with anything helpful.

  I really shouldn’t have worried at all. The next thing I know, he is front of Chloe and pulls her from her seat. Wrapping his arms around her, I can see he is whispering to her and she shakes her head while hugging him tightly. Giving them their space, I go into the living room and cuddle my grandsons on my lap. My work here is done.

  I’m standing behind the nurse’s desk in the ER and my head is pounding like a motherfucking drum. I want to be out of here so badly. I feel like I’m going to fall over any minute from lack of sleep. I usually have more endurance than this…I hope I’m not getting sick; I can’t afford to miss any shifts. Rubbing my temples, I lean against the counter and contemplate how the visit from Chloe went from hot to craptastic. Because you’re a dumbass.