Bittersweet Addiction

by Q. B. Tyler

“Say what?”

  “Don’t be cute, Charlotte.”

  I close my eyes slowly and take a deep breath. If this man is willing to do all this for me just to show me that Matt was wrong, get the fuck out of your own head and listen. He risked everything for you. Do you think he’d do it for someone he felt was boring? He was sleeping with you long before he was in love with you, Charley. “I’m not boring,” I whisper.

  He leans down slightly and ghosts his lips across mine. “What was that?”

  “I’m…not…boring,” I say slowly as I let the words seep into my brain.

  “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. I’m more than happy to continue with this exercise.”

  “I mean it.”

  “Are you sure because I don’t want to have this conversation again.” I nod, and my words, his words, mixed with the fact that I’m naked underneath him, unable to move, has my vision blurry with tears. I close my eyes as they leak out of the corners and slide into my hair. I feel him move from sitting on top of me and feel his breath on my face. I open my eyes to see him a mere inch from my face and he wipes the tears from my eyes. “You’re not boring, Charley. You are extraordinary.” He smiles as he lowers his face to nuzzle my neck.

  “What did I do to deserve you?” I choke out, the tears prohibiting my ability to speak clearly. “I love you,” I say as I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me. “I love you so much.”

  “You exist,” he whispers in my ear. “That’s all you did to be deserving of me, Charlotte.” His words do nothing to stop the tears from falling from my eyes. “I’m going to make love to you now, are you okay with that?”

  I nod as I try and get myself together and stop the flow of tears that have been flowing for what seems like forever. He slides inside of me and just like that, I’m home.

  * * *

  I HAD PLANNED TO TELL Charlotte everything yesterday. I woke up early, leaving her in bed so I could be alone with my thoughts, without her soft body pressed up against me. I had written out a list of things we needed to discuss. I may have made myself an Irish coffee that morning, but it was just one cup and it was only to take the edge off. I was completely prepared to tell her everything yesterday, but then she entered my office in nothing more than a t-shirt and a sad smile, feeling somewhat dejected over what Matt had said the night before.

  Suddenly, the idea of revealing a secret that I kept from her sounded like the worst idea.

  She needed comfort, not the realization that yet another man who professed to love her hadn’t been honest with her.

  So, I didn’t tell her.

  Again.

  God, I was a pussy.

  I can’t seem to quiet the racing thoughts as we sit outside the conference room even as Charlotte sits next to me stroking my hand. I watch as J.R., dressed in a smart power suit, paces in front of us, his ear glued to his cell phone as he’s yelling at what I assume to be some poor intern at his firm. He’d commented on the fact that I wasn’t wearing a tie and how unprofessional it was. Amazing. Two minutes with my father, and I already needed a drink. I think that is some sort of record. I feel hands on my face turning me towards familiar lips. Charley’s mouth is on mine in an instant, moving against my lips slowly, her tongue parting my lips and rubbing against mine. I moan quietly into her mouth as her hand cups my cheek and she winds her fingers through my hair.

  “Don’t worry,” she whispers. “I’ll be right there.” Relief floods my body, hearing her words, and just as I’m about to respond, I hear J.R.’s voice piercing the air.

  “Must you do that, here? Now?” he asks, and we pull apart slowly, our eyes not leaving each other’s for the first few seconds. To be honest, I forgot where we were.

  “So beautiful,” I tell her as I bring her hand to my mouth and brush my lips across them.

  “J.R. don’t you have someone else to bother?” I don’t take my eyes off the woman in front of me, who is currently blushing over being scolded by my father. “We need a moment alone.”

  “So, you can continue what you’re doing? No, Will. Someone needs to be here and keep an eye on you two and possibly turn a hose on you. Besides, you need to focus on what you’re going to say.”

  “I already know what I’m going to say. I’m nervous enough. She’s keeping me calm.” I turn my attention back to her. “Don’t let go of my hand.”

  “Never,” she whispers.

  “Dr. Montgomery,” I hear a voice booming into the lobby and the three of us are ushered into a room with a long conference table and seven people sitting on one side of the brown polished wood.

  Well, this is intense. I squeeze Charley’s hand, seeking her comfort and she squeezes it back.

  The three of us sit, myself in the middle, with J.R. and Charley on either side of me.

  “You called this meeting, Dr. Montgomery. What can we help you with?” the man seated in the middle says. Dr. Preston Marks, the head of the board of Directors of the AMA in Georgia. He’s bald, with a handlebar mustache, one I’d only seen in movies and I can’t help but feel like I am in a movie. How did this become my life?

  “Yes,” I clear my throat and shift in my chair nervously. “There are some things I believe you need to be made aware of. Everything is under control but—in case things come to light in the future, I think it would be best that you know now.”

  A few of the members lean back in their chairs, judgment evident on their faces. “Go on, Dr. Montgomery.”

  “Dr. Marks,” I address the Director before looking at the rest of the members, “members of the Board of Doctors for the State of Georgia, I’m asking that you keep an open mind in what I’m about to divulge.” I try to hide my feelings of unease as I do my best to sound confident and strong. “There’s been a…situation in which I’ve become involved with…a patient.” There’s some whispering amongst a few of the members. Although I can’t make out what’s being said, I can only imagine.

  “Is that so? Is this the patient in question?” Dr. Marks says as he looks at Charlotte over thick rimmed glasses.

  “Yes sir, this is Charlotte Pierce.” I shoot her a small smile, trying to calm her nerves. “My fiancée.”

  J.R. had suggested it may play in our favor if we mention how serious we are already. Although she doesn’t have a ring, we are technically still engaged and plan to be married sometime before the end of next year.

  “You’re engaged?” Someone chimes in.

  “How long ago did you stop counseling her? You know the wait period after you’re finished counseling a patient is two years, although a lot of boards are doing away with that in certain situations…so if you haven’t been counseling her for some time now…” one interjects, as he strokes his chin.

  “Two months ago,” I say before they can go on a tangent that would end with stating that this may not be a huge indiscretion. I let out a breath, preparing to drop the bomb that may seal my fate. “We were involved while I was counseling her.”

  “I see. Well, that changes things,” Dr. Marks says. “And based on your field I take it to mean you were a counselor for both her and her husband?”

  “Yes, sir,” I nod.

  “So, you were sleeping with your married patient.”

  “Yes.”

  “Is she still married?” I hate that they’re talking about her like she’s not in the room. I look at her, and I can tell she’s fighting the tears in her eyes. It’s going to be okay, baby. I squeeze her hand hoping she hears my thoughts.

  “She’s recently divorced.”

  “So, then she left her husband…for you.”

  “There’s more to the story—” I start, because there is. But something tells me there’s no room for gray here. They are only going to see it in black and white.

  She was married.

  We started having an affair.

  She got divorced.

  “Simple question, Dr. Montgomery. Yes or no?”

  “It’s complicated.”

&
nbsp; “Yes. Or. No?” Dr. Marks spits out. I hadn’t had too many interactions with him, but enough to know that he didn’t take any bullshit.

  “I think what my client is trying to—” J.R. starts when Dr. Marks interrupts him.

  “I asked a question. Your client needs to answer it.”

  He even put J.R. in his place. Well, I’m fucked. A bottle of Macallan 18 flashes through my head.

  No.

  You really think you’re not going to need a drink after this?

  No. I need to tell Charlotte the truth.

  But then she’ll probably purge the house of alcohol.

  I blink my eyes a few times, trying to quiet my thoughts as Dr. Marks continues. “I understand it’s complicated. What I want to know is if the patient in question who was married when she started seeing Dr. Montgomery, decided to terminate her marriage after she started sleeping with him.”

  “Yes,” I answer. I’d made my bed…one I had fucked Charlotte in, and now I had to lie in it.

  Dr. Marks rubs a hand over his eyes. “I want your patient’s file, and I assume, since they are now divorced you are no longer seeing them?”

  “That is correct.”

  “When did you stop counseling them?”

  “When she filed, about two and a half months ago.”

  “How long were you involved before then?”

  “Five months,” I answer as I slide Charlotte and Matt’s file across the table.

  “Five?” Dr. Marks looks at me and then at Charlotte. “You know better than this. You’re one of the finest doctors in the field.”

  “Does the husband know?” another member asks.

  “When did you become engaged?” another asks.

  “Are you living together?” the questions are coming at me rapid fire when Dr. Marks silences the group.

  “Does the husband know and is he going to make trouble? What is the likelihood that he will sue for malpractice?”

  “Charlotte’s ex-husband knows, and there is no chance he’s going to make trouble.”

  “Legally?” he looks at J.R. who’s currently leaned back in his chair arrogantly. I resist the urge to roll my eyes. He nods once.

  “Well, that’s one less thing to worry about.” Dr. Marks opens their file. There are seven month’s worth of notes in there ranging from Matt’s narcissism, Charlotte’s need to apologize for everything, and the fact that they weren’t having sex. I’d painted the picture of two people that had no business being married. But it wasn’t enough to excuse me for fucking her all over my office for months.

  “Sort of,” I hold my breath, preparing to divulge the other half of the situation.

  “What the hell do you mean sort of, Dr. Montgomery? Either her husband is an issue or he’s not.”

  “We don’t have to worry about him suing,” J.R. interjects.

  “Okay?” Dr. Marks says as if to say, get on with it.

  “He suspected that we were…having a relationship. He then planted a bug in my office to gain proof.”

  “Tell me it just recorded your time with Ms. Pierce here,” Dr. Marks says as his thumb and index finger pinch the bridge of his nose.

  “Not exactly.”

  Dr. Marks’ hand slams on the table. “What do you mean, not exactly!? How long was the device there, Dr. Montgomery? How many people are on that tape?”

  “Four couples,” I admit, shakily.

  “EIGHT PEOPLE?!” he bellows.

  “I know, this is bad.” The hand not clasped with Charlotte’s runs through my hair. She squeezes the hand I’m holding hard in an attempt to ground me.

  “I hope you are taking care of this? Taking legal action?” Dr. Marks says as his eyes find my father.

  “We are handling it.”

  “Have you met with any of your patients since then?”

  “I’ve met with each of them once, but I haven’t told them anything. I wanted to discuss this with you to figure out the best course of action.”

  “Great. Your contact ends with them effective immediately. We will take it from here.” All I can do is nod my head once. “Do you have the tape in question?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’ll be needing to hand that over. Are we sure there isn’t a copy?”

  “I can’t imagine he would have one.”

  “I don’t want you imagining anything. Is there a copy, yes or no?”

  “No.” I hope not.

  “He’s signed an NDA, so if he’s got a copy there’s nothing he can do with it,” J.R. chimes in.

  “We’ll be needing to meet with you, as well Ms. Pierce.”

  She nods. I prepared her for this, so I know she’s ready. “Yes, whenever you’d like to meet. I’m very flexible.”

  “How is tomorrow, Ms. Pierce? The sooner we get this taken care of the sooner we can come to a conclusion about the fate of Dr. Montgomery here. Until further notice, Dr. Montgomery you are suspended. You cannot practice or meet with any of your patients until this investigation is complete, do you understand?

  “Yes.”

  “You’ll need to give us the keys to your office, and we will be doing a thorough sweep. Is there anything in there we will find? It’s better if you tell us now.”

  “No, sir.”

  “Pornographic photos…videos…?”

  “No.”

  “I imagine if you’re engaged to be married that she was the only one, but I have to ask—” he starts.

  “Charlotte is the only one,” I pause. “I fell in love with her.” I look from one end of the table to the other. “I know how this looks. It looks like a sordid affair with a married woman—”

  “That’s exactly what it is. Except, when men have sordid affairs they are legal and not breaking a hundred different rules. When a Doctor has a sordid affair it’s DIFFERENT!” one of the men bellows so loud I wouldn’t be surprised if it was heard throughout the building. “You know better, Dr. Montgomery!”

  I try to swallow his words and simultaneously the bile rising in my throat. “I know. I…should have left her alone. But I couldn’t. She’s the love of my life.”

  “You’ve known her five minutes, William.” I wince, hearing Dr. Marks use my first name in such a condescending manner. I feel like I’m being scolded like a child.

  I feel like I’m being scolded by J.R. My eyes flit to him for a second. “Was it worth your entire practice?” another member asks, drawing my attention back to them.

  “Yes,” I feel like a hand is being wrapped around my throat as I hear the potential ramifications of my actions spelled out for me. It’s as if I’m watching years of my hard work go up in flames. My gaze looks to my other side, finding Charlotte, who stares up at me, and a sad smile crosses her face. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat,” I say more to her than to the seven people on the other side of the table.

  “Dr. Montgomery, security will follow you to your office to take any personal belongings you may need.”

  “I took everything home with me yesterday.”

  Dr. Marks nods, before he shuts Charlotte’s file and crosses his hands over it. “I am very disappointed in you, Dr. Montgomery.”

  “I know.”

  “We’ll be needing an official testimony of your time with Ms. Pierce and the time leading up to it as well. Which will be done in private. You may keep your lawyer,” Dr. Marks says, looking at Charlotte as if to say she has to go.

  I feel Charlotte tense next to me and I imagine she hears the implication as well. “I can go.” She moves to her feet as all of the gentlemen in the room stand up with me. I grip her hand, alerting her that I would be walking out with her.

  “I’ll be just a moment,” I tell them as I follow her out.

  Once we are out of the room, I feel like I can breathe now that the tension is no longer swirling around me. Charlotte is in my arms instantly.

  “You’re doing so well,” she tells me, pulling back to look up at me. “I love you.”

  “Will you st
ay?” I whisper as she squeezes me tighter and peppers kisses on my neck.

  “Of course, I’ll be right over there.” She points at the loveseat we were sitting on earlier. I nod, thankful she won’t be too far away from me. “How about a kiss?”

  I nod and she wraps her arms around my neck and presses herself flush against me. “I love you so much, Will Montgomery. And when you leave, we’re going to go home and make love all of over your house because nothing will be held over our heads any longer. Everything is out in the open. We. are. free.”

  “Free,” I whisper.

  Except I’m not.

  * * *

  “DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY’RE going to ask me?” I ask Will. My head rests on his chest, allowing me to listen to every beat of his heart. We’d already made love once, but the way he’s rubbing his hand down my back and grazing my ass gently, it’s safe to assume we’ll be doing so again very shortly.

  I feel his hand move up my back and begin to play with my hair, twisting it around his index finger. “I can imagine that it’s something along the lines of whether or not you felt that I pressured you into the affair.”

  “Affair?” I ask, lifting my head to look at him. “Is that what you would call us?”

  “No, but that’s what they’ll call us.”

  I lay my head back down and rest my leg over his legs, rubbing my core against his thigh in the process. I feel myself begin to tingle as my folds make direct contact with his body. “Is there anything I shouldn’t say?”

  “No, baby.” He moves so that he’s hovering over me. “Just tell the truth.” He rubs his nose against mine. “Everything is going to be okay. I’ll be right outside waiting for you.”

  I nod as I run my hand across his cheek and rub his growing beard. “I am so proud of you,” I tell him again. His eyes narrow slightly at what I assume to be confusion over my comment. “You stood by your morals and you did the right thing. The world would be better with more people like you, Will Montgomery.” He frowns slightly and I’m not sure why.

  His face eventually finds my neck and I wonder if it’s because he knows I can read him like a book. “I’m sorry that I brought you into this. That you’re involved…” His voice breaks.