He gave her an apologetic smile and murmured, “Sorry, sweets, I didn’t know.”
Turning to Zack she asked him, “Can you see all of them, or only Joshua?”
He wiped the tears from her cheeks to no avail. They kept on coming. “I see them all,” he responded grimly. No wonder it had been so hard to bring her back to consciousness last weekend. If he’d had to face this he’d have hidden himself away, too.
“Are you all right? Do you need more from me?” he asked. Meaning, should he try to calm her more than he was already doing.
“No, leave it right there. Any more and you might knock me out. Then we’d really be screwed.” She tried to joke and failed miserably but took a deep breath and made a mad mental scramble to gather herself together and stop her tears.
“Amanda? May I, please?” Zack’s mom was begging to see her son.
David took charge of the group and stood up, arms spread in front of him as if he could physically usher them further away from her. “Okay, gang. I need everyone to give Amanda some space, you’re all crowding her. Joshua’s family comes first. Once they’ve had the chance to talk to him we’ll deal with everyone else.”
To his credit they all did step back several paces. Some of the children walked through Cara and Becca, rather than around them. Amanda actually found herself sadly chuckling at the kids’ antics, as they poked their heads through Zack’s sisters’ abdomens.
“Claire, come sit here.” Amanda patted the empty spot on the couch where David had been sitting on her left. Before she’d allow the woman to take her hand she informed her of the number of people she’d be seeing and told her Josh was directly in front of her.
“Don’t be scared. He’s in uniform but there’s no blood or carnage to worry about. You won’t see that, he looks just as he used to.” She held her hand out to the woman who reached out with a trembling hand to take it. “Put both of your hands on me, Claire. Zack says he gets better reception that way.”
Claire did as she was told and then began to sob as her son materialized in front of her. “Josh!” she cried. Automatically she reached for him and lost physical contact with Amanda which of course caused her to no longer see her son. “What happened?” she brokenly asked Amanda who simply grabbed one of Claire’s hands again.
“You have to be in physical contact with me to see him,” she reminded her. “Look, you can see him again, right?”
“Oh, Joshua! My baby!” Claire struggled to find her voice, so swamped was she with her emotions. As Amanda watched Joshua hug his mother, she tried to pull back as much as physically possible to give mother and son some privacy. However, because she was their link she could only move inches, leaning into Zachary who was focused on the discussion between Claire and Josh.
“Amanda, if I touch Claire to help her through this will I hurt you or interrupt?” John asked. It was plain to see he couldn’t bear to see his wife’s distress and wanted to ease her pain.
Amanda shrugged. She didn’t know, having never had such a chain of people connected to her before, for any reason. Zack was helping with her emotions by blocking her greater feelings but she was already having problems shutting out her reading of him and his mother. What the hell? Give it shot, she told herself.
“Let’s give it a try,” she agreed. Zack frowned but didn’t contest her decision.
John reached out to touch his wife and promptly dropped to his knees as his son appeared in front of him. “Joshua,” he whispered. Reaching out to touch him he encountered the same problem everyone did the first time when he removed his hands, losing sight of Josh’s spirit.
“Dad, put at least one hand back on Mom,” Zack ordered when his dad looked confused. Amanda thought she saw a small smile flit across his face. He was probably remembering his first run-in with David. “Mandy, are you okay? Is it too much?” he asked in concern.
She felt the additional pull from John in conjunction with Claire and Zack’s draw on her energy. She wondered if she could handle Cara and Becca, too. She called them over, willing to experiment.
“I’m going to have you guys touch Zack, not me. First one, then if the link holds, the other can add their hands. Zachary, will they disrupt you if they hold onto you?” she asked him. Belatedly, she considered the fact that he might not be able to wrangle both of his sisters and her.
“I’m not sure, babe. This is new to me, too. But let’s give it a shot. If either, or both, of them become too much for us I’ll tell them.”
“I’m thinking that if we can get everyone linked at the same time, Joshua won’t have to expend as much energy over a longer period of time,” Amanda theorized, looking to David who nodded.
“Could work. Just be careful not to overload yourself, sweets.”
Cara approached first, watching Amanda with concern. “Are you sure? This seems dangerous to me.”
Amanda nodded encouragingly at her and waited to feel the additional trickle of energy Cara would draw from her. Checking with Zack, it seemed he was fine, and told Becca that she could add her hands too.
That final draw on her power was a little bit much but Amanda felt she could hold, for a little while anyway. She let none of the strain appear on her face though and catching Zack’s attention she jerked her chin upward, silently asking him to artificially boost her adrenaline to compensate.
Zack wasn’t thrilled with the energy drain and strong wash of emotions coming off of Amanda, but knew she was determined and understood the necessity of getting everyone to view Joshua for the short time he could be there. He kicked up his influence as he had last weekend, firing up synapses and flooding her system with adrenaline and endorphins. He wished he wasn’t as limited as he was in his abilities but then acknowledged that he could at least do a little more than his father, who could only calm, not stimulate.
Once Amanda was adequately balanced Zack redirected his attention to his family who had arrayed themselves in a horseshoe shape on the floor around Josh. His mother, father, and both sisters had one hand on Josh and the other on whoever they were linked to. Tears filled everyone’s eyes as they greeted him, told him how much they loved him, and how much he was missed. Josh hugged and kissed everyone the entire way around, including Amanda, whom he welcomed to the family.
After the greetings he told his story. “We were ambushed at a distant desert outpost by a faction of the al-Qaeda. We’d been dispatched on a humanitarian mission to bring aid to the tiny town and its people.” Joshua’s report basically mirrored what Zack’s family had been informed by the military but of course offered more details. Joshua rambled for more than a half hour according to Amanda’s internal clock and she had no idea how long she’d taken to read his tags and go through his end-of-life scenario but she roughly figured she’d been at this for forty-five minutes already.
As he wrapped up his story the families behind him began to draw closer and eventually Zack’s parents and sisters took notice, looking up in disbelief. They had been so focused on Josh not one of them had paid any attention to the very large retinue behind them.
Amanda caught amazed oohs and ahs from them but was distracted and beginning to flag despite Zack’s previous efforts.
“Zack,” she whispered, not wanting to intrude in the ongoing conversation of his family members. He, too, had been distracted by Joshua’s story and had accidently let up on his control of Amanda but she needed him back on task. She could feel herself slipping away under the strain. Zack grimaced and swore as he took in Amanda’s pale face. She was breathing hard and had a fine sheen of sweat covering her forehead.
“Babe, I think we should call a halt to this. You’re not looking good,” he whispered back.
He sent a much stronger push at her, ramping up her nervous system once again but felt her pulse begin to skip. Oh hell! He couldn’t control the arrhythmia without sedating her and sedating her would not allow her to get this done. He groaned to himself and cast a worried glance at David, who had taken himself to the ot
her side of the room with Josh’s “friends.” He sent frantic thoughts to the man that Amanda needed some help.
David took charge as he was near drowned in Zack’s concern over Amanda. “Joshua you need to say your good-byes and let these others get their messages sent. Amanda can’t hold on much longer.”
“My good-byes? No!” Joshua’s misery was plain to see. “I’m not ready to move on yet. I’ve been waiting for four years to find a channel to contact them! I need some time, Amanda. Will you give me that? I need to see and talk to my wife and son. Debbie and Damon deserve that opportunity! Please, Amanda?” he begged from his knees in front of her and every member of the Grayson clan turned beseeching eyes on her.
Shit! She’d forgotten about the wife and son.
“Okay! Okay!” She held her hands up in acquiescence, with Zack and Claire each clinging to an arm. “Yes, I understand you need closure with your entire family. We’ll deal with them later though…I don’t think I can do it all today.”
She hung her head and wondered if she’d ever have her life to herself again. Lover, mother, clairvoyant, telepath, and medium at your service! Oh, and let’s not forget private investigator, too! Her ungracious thoughts rattled around in her brain like billiard balls. She began to feel a little faint and shook her head to clear the cobwebs, deliberately not looking at Zack or David and trying to calm her racing heart and mind before Zack clued in.
“David, let’s move this along. Get them organized for me, tell them to get their stories straight because they’ll need to impart them quickly.” She intended to say it calmly but it came out rushed instead.
The pressure she was feeling was suddenly incredible and she began at first to tremble and then shake as though wracked with chills, which was strangely bizarre considering that the temperature in the room had probably risen at least ten to fifteen degrees from the presence of the spirits. It was probably a balmy eighty-five degrees in the family room but her teeth began to chatter. She had absolutely no idea why others in the paranormal community felt cold in the presence of a spirit, or spirits. But, her constitution felt only heat, and that was what the others around her felt as a result. She could see everyone was sweating. Perspiration dripped from the entire family. She was truly freaky, and beginning to freak out, too!
“Everyone! Please let go of me!”
Zack’s family, afraid to lose touch with Joshua, maintained their contact and his parents even unconsciously inched closer to her.
“I swear to you. You’ll get to see Joshua again, but for now I need you to let go!” Amanda’s voice rose in panic.
Zack shook off his sisters while releasing his own grip on her. Cursing, he lunged to his feet to pry his mother’s hand from her. In a firm voice he ordered his family to step away.
Amanda groaned at the reprieve she’d just been given. They’d literally been sucking her dry of energy. She mopped her brow with the back of her hand and struggled to get her breathing under control as she realized she’d been hyperventilating.
Lacing the fingers of her shaking hands together in her lap she raised her blurry eyes to his parents and sisters, who were looking ashamed of themselves. Heartfelt apologies automatically issued from each person’s lips, and Claire unthinkingly reached out to hug her but was stalled when Zack stepped between them, holding his hands out to halt her approach.
Squatting down in front of Amanda he stroked her hair back from her sweaty face. “Babe, please let’s call it a day? Truly, I can tell you’re struggling and I’m worried about you. I was pushing nearly full-blast and it was barely making an impact on you.”
Amanda was, personally, in full agreement, but didn’t want this nightmare to continue any longer than it had to. Shaking her head she told him, “No, I need to finish this. I can’t stand the thought of not being done with it. I don’t even want to think about having to come back and do it again!”
“David and Josh?” Amanda called. “Have you talked to the rest? Do they know what they need to say and who we need to get the messages to? Tell them to spell names and addresses out if we are to contact anyone for them. Obviously, I’m not traveling to a war zone to personally deliver messages for the Afghan families, so they’ll need to give me as much contact information as possible. Josh you’ll need to talk to the men in your unit. I’m hoping that I don’t need to visit their families, especially if they’re scattered across the U.S., but I will if I have to.” Both spirit men went about the task of getting the large group ready.
John came forward with a small silver digital recorder. “I use this to record my notes for patient charts. If Zack or you repeat what each person says it will be much easier than writing it down as you go. We can transcribe it later. As a matter of fact, please allow Claire and I to do that and to contact anyone these spirits need us to.”
Gratefully, Amanda reached out to accept it but Zack interceded, “I’ll take that, Dad.”
He was taking no chances of his family doing her any more harm, even with the minutest amount of contact.
Sitting down beside her Zack pulled her onto his lap, cradling her in his arms. She was so worn out and limp she’d barely been able to keep herself upright. Pressing her face to his chest and laying one hand over her heart he tried to compromise the stimulants he kicked in with the need to steady her heart rate and had a tiny measure of success though he was still very unhappy. After a minute he felt her struggle to make herself vertical and unwillingly released her, helping her to sit up.
Claire approached with a cold wet washcloth and he gently wiped the perspiration from her face and neck. Cara then handed her a glass of ice cold Pepsi which Amanda accepted with heartfelt thanks, before downing it quickly in its entirety, emitting a small belch immediately afterward. She gave an embarrassed grin and politely excused herself as the others chuckled at her.
Glancing at her brother, Cara informed him, “I thought she could use the sugar and caffeine, to buoy her a little bit.”
He nodded his agreement before allowing a small, but strained, smile to emerge as he patted Amanda’s back. Taking her chin in his hand he gently forced her to meet his eyes as he searched her pale face and bloodshot eyes. He ran down his mental checklist for all the things he was concerned about. He didn’t like what he read, not at all.
“Are you certain you want to continue this? Are you sure you feel up to it? Everything I’m reading from you says you’re on the edge,” he double-checked.
“Let’s just get this over with!” she insisted, ashamed to hear her tone came out almost whiny.
His lips formed a grim line, but he nodded. “I’ll translate for the recorder. You just maintain the link for however long you can,” he ordered her. “When you get too weary just call the game on account of rain, got it? I’m not sure how effective I’ll be translating and managing your emotional states simultaneously, but I’ll do my best.” She nodded.
David sat down on her other side and pulled Amanda against him for support while Zack held her hand and the recorder. Zack’s family took seats around the room. They wouldn’t be able to see or hear who was talking but they were all interested to listen to what Zack would translate for them.
They watched curiously as Amanda appeared to settle into an imaginary shoulder, and lay her head on it in relief, before closing her eyes. Claire caught Zack’s eye and tipped her head, lifting her brows in mute inquiry.
“David,” Zack murmured briefly.
His mom’s eyes widened and he got the intent in her questioning eyes. How was Zack handling this problem, she wanted to know? He shrugged and mouthed the word later. This wasn’t the time or the place. Zack saw David give him a wry look as he read his thoughts.
“Ready, babe?” It was time to get back to business and finish this bullshit. Watching her go through this was slowly killing him. There was nothing he could really do to help her.
“Bring ’em on,” she told him gamely, but kept her eyes shut and leaned further into David’s arms. It was all she
could do to keep the frequency open for communication. She was almost completely sapped.
Joshua brought his men forward first and they relayed their final messages, only one man requested Amanda visit his family personally. Without opening her eyes Amanda asked the man to stay behind with Joshua and told him she’d get back to him later. The remainder didn’t feel their families would be open to such visitation, for which Amanda was so frigging thankful she could have cried.
When the Afghan families came forward Amanda’s eyes flew open in wonder. They spoke English?! No! She was amazed to find that while they spoke their native tongue, she heard it as English! How bizarre! She looked at Zack who seemed as staggered as she.
David looked on patronizingly as though this was common knowledge. “They hear everything you say in their language, too.”
“You could have told me! Instead of making us try to figure out how we’d do this!” The frustration in her voice was very evident. She took a deep breath. She was taking out her aggravation on him, and really it was a minor matter.
“I’m sorry, sweets, really. I knew I could understand them. But, I wasn’t sure if you would, too.”
Amanda waved his explanation away. She could care less at this point. She just wanted this to be done for fuck’s sake. “Okay, okay. Let’s finish this, please!” She made an effort to shake off her piss-poor mood, knowing it was exhaustion talking. The emotional toll this was taking on her was enormous.
She laughed weakly as the children bounced forward to thank her and kiss her cheeks. Soon though, that brief second wind began to desert her and she sagged back against David once more. She hung onto her consciousness by a thread and felt Zack squeeze her hand.
“Just one more, sweets. Hang in there,” David murmured in her ear.
Amanda's Touch [D.A.R.E.ing Women] (Siren Publishing Allure) Page 49