by Erin Trejo
“What the hell was that all about?” Cherry questions me just like I knew she would. I was ready to answer them all, but now I feel lost. My throat is dry, and there’s a knot forming in my stomach.
Looking out the window as we drive I don’t know how much to say to her. I don’t need any of this getting back to Kenny. Fuck! Kenny will go after Creed if he knows there’s a past there. I’ve heard them talk about the Fallen Angel’s before and it was never kind words.
“He was just a guy I knew a long time ago.” Deciding the less she knows, the better it will be for her in the long run—I don’t say anything further.
“He looked pretty torn up sweetheart. Let me just speak from experience for a minute. If you are trying to play man against a man you shouldn’t do it with the clubs. They play rough Jada. It will end in blood. If he was the past, you need to leave him there or leave Kenny. Either way shit will go off. You know what you crawled in bed with.”
Keeping my eyes trained on the world outside of this car, I replay her words in my mind. It will end in blood. She’s right, I know it will, and I can only pray that it’s mine.
Pulling into the clubhouse, I notice a lot more bikes here tonight. That means more assholes to please.
“Looks busy. You should try to steer clear of Kenny.” Nodding at Cherry, we head toward the door when it flies open.
“You bitches have a good fuckin’ night?” Kenny staggers over to me throwing his arm around my shoulders. The smell of stale liquor and smoke consumes me. So much for steering clear.
“Hell yeah. Your girl did well.” Cherry passes Kenny a stack of cash as I watch the wretched smile tug across his face. It makes me sick that he enjoys the fact that he makes money off other men touching me.
Watching him flip the cash in his hands stirs the bile in my stomach.
“You did do well huh?” His lips slam into mine, kissing me roughly. His tongue slips into my mouth, and I contemplate losing everything in my stomach.
Swallowing it back down, I let him kiss me. It isn’t the kiss I want, though. I want Creed’s lips on me, not this pig’s. With that, the realization of what Cherry said on the ride back comes back to mind. I made my choice getting into bed with Kenny and this club, and now I have to deal with it.
But how can seeing Creed one time make me want to rethink everything that I had set out to do? The plan was to live this type of life until it ended me. That’s all I really wanted since my brother died. There isn’t anything left for me to live for.
“You taste so fuckin’ good,” Kenny growls against my neck, the slight buzz I feel making me sick to even think I like it. I am a woman, though, and I guess I still have feelings.
“Kenny, can we just go to the room tonight?” I say risking the chance of pissing him off since I see how many people are here, I ask anyway. I don’t want to be passed around like a piece of meat tonight.
“You want me all to yourself tonight darlin’?” The look in his eyes is hard to read. I can’t tell if he is glad I asked or pissed.
“I just thought we could be together.” Running my hand up his chest I watch his eyes fall closed. I reach around his neck, pulling his lips to mine.
Kenny wasn’t always this bad. When we first met, he was sweet and considerate. He went out on a ride a while back and when he came back shit completely changed around here. Everyone was off, and the women got treated like shit. I’ve tried to bring back the old Kenny, and at times I think I’ve found him.
“I want you too.” Kenny’s hands wrap around my waist pulling me closer to him. This is the way it used to feel—I felt safe.
“You have me.” A soft light flickers in those lost eyes of his. There are times I want to believe that that’s all he is lost. I think a piece of my heart knows it’s more than that, though.
“I’m taking you to bed, darlin’.” The slight growl that comes from him sends shivers over my body.
Kenny grips my hand in his as we walk back inside. A piece of my heart jolts to life that he is acting like the old Kenny, the one I fell in love with.
“Where you fuckin’ goin’?” Dunk, one of the other brothers, hollers over to Kenny. I knew it was too good to be true. Dunk is a real piece of shit if you ask me. He drags the other guys into a lot of shit. In fact, he is the reason for a lot of the shitty behavior around here.
“Takin’ my girl to bed man.” Kenny keeps walking which really surprises me.
“You gonna let me join in on that?” He asks. Fuck, fuck, fuck! This was what I was afraid of. I knew if I got too excited about the old Kenny being back something would fuck up on me.
“Give me ten minutes.” The evil look on Dunk’s face makes me want to vomit. I don’t want any part of his nasty body near me, but it’s not my choice.
“Thought it was just me and you?” I snuggle into Kenny’s arm rubbing my breasts up and down on him trying to convince him to give me this tonight.
With his hand gripping my ass roughly, he leans in closer to me.
“He can’t fuck you like I can sweetheart, but he is a brother.” His lips graze my neck, but the shudder it causes wasn’t from his lips. I already know what’s coming.
Kenny kicks the bedroom door closed and rips my shirt off quickly.
“You looked so fuckin’ hot in that shirt darlin’, but I need you naked.” His lips touch my neck before sucking slightly. For the moment, I just let myself go. I need to feel this—I need to feel wanted.
Kenny pulls his clothes off quickly before pushing me on the bed. His eyes flicker to life as he looks at me. My body betrays my mind when I start feeling myself get wet waiting for him.
“Fuck darlin’ you want me?” Kenny climbs on the bed pushing himself between my legs, his rock-hard dick waiting to be inside of me.
“Kenny please.” I find myself begging him. I still have needs, and Kenny usually fulfills them, but I know Dunk will be coming in here soon.
When Kenny slides inside of me, I throw my head back. He’s so slow and gentle at first, just like he was when I met him.
“You are so fuckin’ tight.” Pushing in further I look into his eyes. The caring guy I used to know is in there, I can see it.
Kenny rocks into me when the door opens. He doesn’t stop or look over, but I already know it is Dunk.
“You savin’ me some brother?” His voice is like nails on a chalkboard. Shivers rake my body as I hear him coming closer.
The bed shifts near my head as I close my eyes.
“Suck his dick while I fuck this pussy.” The old Kenny is gone when I look up at him. The new, evil Kenny is back in place. The one I don’t argue with.
Chapter 8
Creed
It’s been four days since I saw her. Four agonizing days. I feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest when she walked away from me. I busted everything in sight. I even busted up my hands punching the fucking walls.
I never knew how much I’ve missed seeing her until that moment.
“You ok brother?” Tank stops next to me where I smoke a joint. I need to relieve some of this stress that’s shaking me. Taking a puff, I look over at him.
“Do I fuckin’ look okay?” I feel like shit, and I’m sure I look it too. I don’t give a fuck, though.
“You gotta move past her, Creed. She fuckin’ made it clear she didn’t want to stay. You gave her the option man.” I told Tank everything about that night and about our past. If there was anyone that I trusted with that information in this club its Tank.
“I know but fuck man!” Grabbing the beer Tank is holding out to me, I take it and swallow a long drink. I need to shake this out of my system, but I don’t know how.
“You ready to ride or you wanna hang back?” Looking over at Tank he already knows there is no way in hell that I’m not taking this ride. What kind of pussy ass shit was that?
“I was just sayin’ brother. Fuck you look like you want to shoot a motherfucker.” Tank chuckles as he heads toward his bike. If he only fucking
knew the things that are rolling around in this fucked up head of mine, he wouldn’t talk shit to me like that.
Throwing the bottle over my shoulder, I walk over toward my bike. I climb on and revel in the pleasure it gives me to ride. I feel free from everything that haunts me on a daily basis. I know I could have chosen a different path when I left, but the guys found me in a world of shit and pulled me out.
I can’t say that I’m sorry for being in the club because I’m not. I just know that a piece of me still misses the old times when I jumped from rooftop to rooftop.
Starting up my bike, we file out in a perfect row. I love the way the bike rumbles beneath me when we hit the open road. The wind is blowing around me, the darkness swallowing me. I fucking love it!
We don’t have a long ride, only around 2 hours which flies by, way too fucking fast for me.
“Let’s scope it first.” Tank speaks, but I don’t listen. I’m so fucking amped up right now. I don’t give a fuck what’s inside that building.
With my gun drawn, I head toward the door in fucking stealth mode. I never went to the military, but I have learned over the years how to quiet my steps and make myself invisible.
“What the fuck, Creed?” Tank growls behind me. Yeah, I know he’s pissed, but I don’t give a fuck.
“Wait, Creed. You son of a bitch.” I smile when he says that. I know what the fuck I am, and so does he.
Crossing over the tiny ledge that was blocking me, I slide up along the door. I motion to Tank to watch the back. Thankfully he nods his head and doesn’t give me any shit about it.
Reaching for the knob slowly, I turn it and pull the door open. Sliding around it, I peer inside the darkened room.
Out of nowhere, shots are fired. Fuck!
I start to shoot as I move into the room. I blink my eyes rapidly to try to focus on anything in the fucking room but come up blank until Tank throws a fucking flair into the room.
Now that it’s fucking lit up like a Christmas tree I can make out where the shots came from.
“Motherfucker!” I growl as I make my way, guns blazing toward the asshole. The more shots Tank and I fire the less I hear until it’s finally silent.
“I fuckin’ told you to wait, motherfucker!” Tank steps closer to me when I spin around on him, my gun aimed at his head.
“Stop bein’ a little bitch, Tank.” Lowering the gun, I slide it back into the back of my jeans before turning my attention to the room.
“Look at this shit. These motherfuckers were runnin’ more than your average green.” Picking up a packet of meth, I toss it over to Tank. He still looks pissed, but once Sharp hears about this shit, it will be a whole different story.
As we look around some more, my adrenaline is running high. You never know in these kinds of places what might lurk around the corner. Demons love the dark places.
My chest feels tight and a little hard to breathe. Fuck, it almost hurts. Glancing down I see blood.
“Fuck me!” Grumbling to myself, I reach up and touch the blood only to find a hole. Isn’t that all I need?
“What the fuck you bitchin’ about?” Tank walks around me before he sees it too.
“Son of a bitch. They shot you brother. Let me see.” Tank moves in to look when I jerk back. Fuck that, if it’s my time to go I’ve been ready for a while now.
My eyes blur slightly, and I start to sway. Tank grabs me around my shoulders holding me up.
“Fuck man. Let me look at it!” He growls before I step away and sit in the closest chair I can find.
“Fuck you. Leave my fuckin’ ass here. Get that shit and roll Tank.” Tipping my head back, I close my eyes and let the visions of Jada’s beautiful face fill my darkness.
Jada
As I clean myself up in the shower my heart races. I don’t know what the fuck Kenny shot into my arm, but it is messing with me badly.
My eyes can’t focus, and my mind feels like it is running laps as I let the cool water caress my skin.
After the last four days with Kenny and these assholes they have staying here, I almost wished that I would have taken Creed up on his offer to stay there.
As much as I know that would have turned into a shit storm anything must be better than this.
I wash my hair in a complete fog. I really hate whatever this is. It makes me feel like I’m drowning within myself.
“Jada? You in here?” Cherry’s voice fills me with joy. Maybe she can help me out of this fucking shower that I seem to be stuck in.
I open my mouth, but words won’t form. My breathing picks up pace, and I don’t feel right. Something is wrong.
“Jada?” I can hear her coming closer, but I feel like my body is shutting down on me. This can’t be happening. I feel myself sliding down the shower wall, but I can’t comprehend what’s going on.
The shower curtain flies open, and I hear Cherry yell.
“Jada! My God, what’s wrong? What happened?” Her hands are on me, but no sounds can come from my mouth. I feel like I’m gasping for air.
“Jada! What did he give you? Tim!” Cherry screams as tears fall down her cheeks. If I wasn’t mistaken, I’d swear they were falling down mine too.
“Tim!” She calls out to her old man. I hear yelling when catching a glimpse of Tim—the president comes in the room.
Everything starts to turn fuzzy after that. I can make out shapes and movements, but that’s about it. I feel like I’m in my own little world and I may not want to come back from it.
“Jada, can you hear me?” I hear Tim talk to me, but the visions of Jason override his words. I don’t care what he has to say when my brother’s face is floating in front of me.
“You have to go back Jada.” What the hell? There is no way that can be him—he’s gone.
Slowly I feel like I’m drifting further away. It’s getting darker, and I can no longer hear Tim or Cherry.
The one thing that I can hear is the words Creed said to me.
“I’m so fuckin’ sorry I left you that night. If I could fuckin’ take it all back baby, I would!”
I’m sorry too, Creed. So, fucking sorry.
“You asked me what I wanted from you. Jada, I fuckin’ want you. I always have.”
How could he have always wanted me? How could he when he just left me there? Maybe he had his reasons, and I just didn’t listen to them. It’s too late now.
I wonder what I could have been if Jason didn’t leave me when he did. I wish he’d had the chance to go on with his dreams of being a college football player. He was the best person in the world.
Maybe this is my chance to finally see him again.
Chapter 9
Creed
Forcing my eyes to open, I look around the bright room. It’s like I’m on the fucking sun. Everything smells like fucking bleach. I know right away where the fuck I am, and I’m pissed.
“Glad you’re wakin’ up asshole.” Tank’s voice grates on a nerve and I just fucking woke up.
“What the fuck am I doin’ here?” Pushing myself back against the bed, my fucking chest hurts until I see a fucking tube sticking out of it.
“The fuck is this shit?” I start to reach for it when someone else speaks. I turn to see a pretty little nurse walking toward me. Well, fuck me she is hot.
“You don’t want to pull that out, honey. It’s helping your lung.” She smiles when I lower my hand and look over at her. I could get used to seeing that ass. Damn.
“Why the fuck am I even here Tank?” Getting a little more pissed off, I want to rip his fucking throat out. He knows better than to bring me to a fucking hospital.
“Don’t grill him too hard. If he didn’t bring you in you may have died.” The little nurse checks the wires and shit that are hanging out of me while Tank smirks in the corner. Son of a bitch.
“I need to piss.” Nursey smiles at me like I’ve lost my mind. What the fuck is with this bitch?
“You have a catheter in place. You can’t get up.” Oh, like
hell!
“You got tubes stickin’ out of my fuckin’ dick? Fuck this!” Pushing myself up slightly, I’m getting the hell out of here.
Before I can do anything, Tank is slamming my ass back into place.
“What the fuck?” I growl out breathlessly. His big ass hands knocked the fucking air right out of me.
“Move again, and I will fuckin’ break your rib.” His gruff words have me lying back down. This is fucking ridiculous.
“I can give you something to help you sleep if you’d like.” Nursey smiles slightly, but I shake my head. No way in hell are they knocking me out.
“He will be a good little bastard, now won’t you?” He chuckles as he sits back in the chair.
“Yeah, I’ll be a fuckin’ boy scout.” Nursey nods and leaves the room when I cut my eyes at Tank.
“What the hell brother? You know I didn’t want this shit.” Looking away from him, I don’t know if I want the answer. I wanted to just fucking die and be over this.
“I know Creed. I know you didn’t want this but fuck man. I heard some shit, and I figured you’d want to be alive to hear it.” Glancing back over he has my fucking attention although he better make it good.
“That Jada bitch.” He starts to talk and pisses me off all over again. Fucking Christ!
“Sorry. Anyway. The Jada bitch, uh chick. I heard Kenny pumped her full of shit. She almost died, brother.” The words ring in my ears, and my heart rate picks up. My pulse is practically pounding out of my body. The machines are screaming now.
“What do you mean almost? She’s okay, though?” Tank shrugs his shoulders until he sees me reaching for the tube again. My chest is heavy, and it’s hard to breathe, but fuck I need to know.
“From what I heard. I can go see what I can find out.” Tank stands and heads toward the door.
A million things run around in this fucked up head of mine. If I wouldn’t have left her that night. Fuck this is all my fault. If I had kept her at the clubhouse, she would have been safe.
Would she, though? Would she be safer with me? A fucking killer. That’s all I’ve become. Maybe she is better off with that bastard. There is no telling what would happen to her if she was with me and I fucking lost my head. Kind of like I did earlier.