Flip My Life

by Jennifer Foor

  As much as Eli wishes he could be straight with Clarke about his unresolved feelings, he knows this isn’t what she came for.

  “Damn it, Eli. What about walking away from me? I would have gone with you. I would have done anything for us to stay together. Just be honest. You didn’t want me anymore. You knew about my position and you ran.”

  “Your position?” He’s confused. “I asked you to meet me, but you never showed.”

  “What?” Clarke is flabbergasted. “No you didn’t.”

  “Yes, I did. I left a note for you. You’re the only thing that would have made my choice better. I waited. When you didn’t show I assumed you’d changed your mind because of your parents.”

  “My parents?” This doesn’t make sense. Clarke struggles to wrap her head around the last time they spoke. She thinks of the conversation with Siobhan and it all starts making sense.

  “Yeah, because they were getting up in age.”

  She shakes her head and sadly turns away. It’s obvious Eli has come up behind her, but she doesn’t move from her position. With her eyes closed to avoid tears she speaks softly and as calm as possible. “I think we were both lied to. Siobhan told me you didn’t want anything to do with me. It broke my heart. For the past six years I’ve wondered how you could be so endearing and then turn cold. How you could abandon our plans without a second’s thought. There were no warning signs. Not even a hint that you could be doubting our plans. I’ve wondered why you’d abandon me after making all those promises.” She finally turns around and realizes he’s closer than she expected. Neither of them move as she continues. “Tell me her secret.”

  Clarke watches Eli struggle with what to say. Whatever the secret is, it’s big enough to still warrant worry. He opens his mouth to speak when they hear a little boy speaking. “I had an accident in bed.”

  Eli looks from Jonathan to Clarke as if he doesn’t know how to handle it. Clarke, being used to this type of activity, hunches over to nurture the child. “It’s okay. Eli’s going to get you cleaned up in some new pajamas while I get you some clean, dry sheets, okay?”

  Jonathan only knows this woman from the diner, but he feels comforted. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault, buddy. Your mom told me this could happen if you drank late. It’s my fault. We won’t even tell her it happened.”

  This sparks a smile on the child’s face. “Really?”

  Eli rubs the boy’s hair. “Of course. Let’s get you in the shower.”

  Clarke and Eli exchange glances, and somehow know what the other is thinking. She follows the guys upstairs and starts working on getting the bed clean. Luckily there was a plastic mattress pad keeping it from being soiled through. She places a couple towels down in the place of the pad and puts new sheets on the bed. By the time she’s finished they’re entering the room. With a wet head, and wearing an oversized T-shirt, Jonathan hops back onto the mattress and pulls the covers back up over him. “Thank you,” he says to Clarke.

  “You’re welcome. I have a …” Before she’s able to mention Tyler she realizes her mistake. “I have to get going,” she offers instead. “Sweet dreams.”

  “Bye.”

  Eli turns to face Clarke. “I’ll be right down. Don’t leave yet.”

  Clarke nods, but she’s not going to stand around and wait for more reasons to feel bad. Six years is a long time. Too much has changed. They aren’t the same people anymore. He has a life somewhere else, and she’s engaged to be married. There’s no way to make things right anymore. What’s done is done. At least with a little bit of knowledge she’ll be able to move on. She has to.

  Chapter 13

  Eli comes downstairs to find Clarke’s car pulling out of the driveway. He should have known she’d run as far away from him as she could. How can he blame her?

  Instead of sulking himself into a drunken stupor, Eli decides to check in on Jonathan. He creeps up the stairs in case the boy is still awake, and looks through the cracked open door. He’s cuddled up with a stuffed bulldog. Right away Eli recognizes it. It was his when he was a kid. His dad must have given it to him. It had always been his favorite dog. It just so happens the Marine Corp. mascot is the same breed of dog. He even has a tattoo of it on his arm. Eli steps inside the room and pulls the covers back up over the child. He takes in his innocence and thinks what it would have been like to know him from the start. There are things he’ll never be able to change, but the child is growing up fast and it’s not fair to deny they’re family.

  For a long time Eli sits on the edge of the bed watching the small boy sleep. Like it or not, there was an immediate connection between them. Now he knows it would break his heart to walk away again.

  The bright morning sun wakes him. Eli sits up to realize he’d fallen asleep in Jonny’s room. He’s been calling him that since he found out his mom hates it. Anything he can do to piss her off makes him ravel in pleasure.

  Jonny stirs and wipes his eyes to find his brother sprawled out next to him. He nestles his little body closer for warmth and touches Eli’s nose. “Do I look like you?”

  After stretching, Eli replies,” I think you do a little.” He’s still in denial. The resemblance is undeniable. It makes him think back to when Siobhan ruined him. If only he were able to get back all he’s lost because of that woman.

  By the time Siobhan shows up Jonny has finished his breakfast. He doesn’t run to hug his mother, instead clings to Eli begging to stay longer. Eli is overjoyed to see the look on Siobhan’s face, up until he realizes this was her plan all along. She wants him to replace his father.

  Eli pats the boy on the back. “Go on home with your mother. You can come visit again.”

  “Go get your stuff together. I need to have a word with Elias.”

  “He likes to be called Eli, Mom,” Jonny corrects before running upstairs.

  Siobhan places her delicate manicured hands on the countertop and looks across at Eli. “Wow, I leave him in your care for one night and he’s already giving me lip.”

  Eli interrupts. “I want to see him again while I’m here.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  His eyes widen. How dare she give and take away like she has power over him. “Back when I was in high school you may have had the upper hand when it came to my decisions, but you’re not in control anymore.”

  “Last night was a one time deal. I was in a jam.”

  “I don’t give a shit what you were in. This is about that boy. You and I both know I have every right to be a part of his life.”

  “You wanted nothing to do with him. Your own family. Now, all of a sudden you’re going to be buddies?”

  He interjects. “Afraid he’ll want to be with me more?”

  This infuriates Siobhan. “How dare you?”

  Eli steps toward her, so close that when he speaks he’s spitting on her perfect made up face. “If I were you, I wouldn’t want to cross me, Siobhan. Dad’s not here anymore, and you’ve taken away everything that ever meant a damn thing to me. I have nothing left to lose. He’s the only family I have.”

  “Screw you.”

  Eli takes her by the wrist and jerks her back to looking in his direction. His wide, anger-filled eyes tell Siobhan he’s done backing down. “Have you forgotten? You already have, you deceitful little bitch. You screwed me. You don’t deserve a kid like him. Try to keep him away from me, and I’ll make this ugly for you. Don’t forget I know your dirty secrets. You wouldn’t want the wrong people finding out what you did to have him.”

  Tears fill the woman’s eyes. For the first time Siobhan knows she’s not in control. Eli could ruin her reputation and possibly more. She can’t let that happen. “Fine. Spend as much time with him as you want, just please, please don’t hurt him. I’m not the person I used to be either. I’d do anything to keep him protected from my mistakes.”

  He lets go of her arm. “Clarke stopped by last night. Care to tell me why you told her those
lies about me?”

  Her arms go to her hips. “You don’t let up do you?”

  “Not when it comes to her. Leaving her to protect my father, and making her think she did something wrong are two very different things. I wanted her to come with me. You knew I did. Why would you tell her I changed my mind?”

  “Because I knew you’d tell her the truth, and Clarke isn’t like you. She’d feel obligated to tell your father. I would have lost everything.”

  “So, again, selfish reasons.”

  “I’ll admit I was only thinking of myself.”

  “You disgust me, Siobhan. How could you look him in the eye and lie for years?”

  The patter of footsteps causes the two adults to separate. “I’m ready to go, Mom.”

  “Ok, kiddo. Give your brother a hug.”

  Eli crouches down and wraps his arms around the boy. He doesn’t have to promise to see him again, because he knows he feels an obligation to be in his life.

  “We didn’t get to build anything.”

  “Tell ya what,” Eli starts. “How about you come over in a couple days and we’ll build some birdhouses?”

  “Yeah. Can I, Mom?”

  It’s obvious Siobhan is reluctant. Eli flashes her a stern grimace. “Sure. I’ll call Elias and figure out a time.”

  Chapter 14

  Eli watches them leave and sinks down in a kitchen chair. There’s so much on his mind it’s giving him a permanent headache. Aside from the issues with Siobhan and her interfering in his life, he still needs to worry about Clarke. There’s not enough closure, and the things unsaid are eating at his conscience. Another problem he faces is his relationship with Michelle. Ever since he’s been back in Georgia he’s struggled to see a future for them. The foreseeable future looks grim, but only because he knows no matter if he chooses to stay or go he’ll be hurting someone either way.

  The next few days Eli manages to get the new flooring done in both bathrooms and the tile inside the shower. He picks an intricate, yet modern, sleek design for anyone’s taste. Remodeling can be difficult when it’s just one man doing the job. The vanities and some of the cabinetry are extremely hard to maneuver. It takes him extra time to get them mounted without any mishaps.

  Each night Michelle calls him and wants to know when he’s coming home. She’s offered to come back on weekends, but he tells her it’s too long of a trip. He knows she’s getting antsy in the house without him. She keeps saying she loves him, but Eli is reluctant to give her false hope.

  He’s never heard from Clarke since she paid him that visit. On a few occasions he’s thought about reaching out to her, but he doesn’t want to overstep. When he goes out to eat he even avoids the diner, even though they have the best food selection.

  While in the Marines Eli was able to learn how to control his emotions. He’s aware that Clarke consumes his thoughts, but he won’t allow it to keep him from his daily chores. She might only be a couple miles away, but it seems like a million when he considers them ever being able to reconcile. Even a friendship seems gloom at this point.

  After a few more days Siobhan drops Jonny off for a visit. This time the boys are going to spend a weekend together. She’s warned Eli not to run his mouth, and he’s agreed to her terms because he’s tired of fighting. His bond with the boy has nothing to do with his mother, but more for himself. He’s been alone in his heart for far too long to let lies jeopardize this.

  An hour after Jonny’s arrival and he’s already asking Eli to take him to the diner again. “Please? I want another chocolate milkshake.”

  Though reluctant, because of Clarke, Eli agrees to appease the child he’s beginning to care deeply for. Each time he looks into his eyes he sees the boy his father loved as a son. He has to keep the man alive in the boy’s heart. It’s what his father would want.

  “Okay. Grab your shoes.”

  During the drive to the diner, Eli lets Jonny wear his sunglasses and rock out to music. He bangs his head and giggles when Eli repeats the words to the chorus. Every time he hears the boy laugh it’s contagious. He can’t remember the last time he smiled so much. It’s another reminder of how much the two need each other.

  Clarke is working, but isn’t the waitress to greet and seat them at their favorite booth. In fact, they’re seated at a different table until she comes over and intervenes. “Abigail, they like to sit over there in the corner. Do you mind switching tables?”

  “They’re the first customers I’ve had all night.”

  “You can still wait on them,” Clarke offers kindly. For a brief moment she and Eli exchange looks and then she goes about her job like they are two passing ships in the night.

  Eli lets Jonny order for them. He gets a kick out of the boy trying to act like a grown up. “So what have you been up to this week?”

  “My teacher says I can be in the front of the line for morning exercises.”

  “That’s cool.” He says while watching Clarke from afar. “Anything else interesting?”

  “I have a tooth loose. Wanna’ see?” The child opens his mouth and wiggles a bottom tooth.

  “Wow. The tooth fairy is going to want to give you some money for that.”

  “I know. Last time I got five dollars.”

  “That’s a lot. I only got quarters.”

  Jonny starts wiggling. “Eli, I have to go to the bathroom.”

  He stands and takes the boy’s hand to lead him into the restroom. “I can do it myself,” Jonny announces, while pushing Eli out the door to wait for him.

  Eli crosses his arms and leans against the bathroom door in case the child needs assistance. Clarke sees her current customers off and comes face to face with him again. This time he isn’t letting her get away so easily. “We need to finish having that talk.”

  She pretends to be busy cleaning off the table. “Why? Haven’t we both said enough? We were kids, Eli. We both have lives now that don’t include each other. I’m getting married soon, and I can’t have this distracting me from what I want.”

  It’s a low blow. Eli never wanted to hear about her upcoming nuptials. “I’d appreciate it if you stopped by. If you want to wait until you’re married that’s fine too. Bring your husband if you feel uncomfortable. I’m not leaving again until you hear the whole story.”

  “I thought you told me everything that there was to know.”

  “Just stop by, Clarke. Please. I know I hurt you. It’s bothered me for six years. Just give me an hour. You pick the time.”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  “Okay.”

  She changes the subject. “What’s it like having a brother so young?”

  “Strange. Awesome. He’s a bright kid. I like teaching him things and talking about Dad. It helps. Being in that house without him gets to be tough, especially at night.”

  “I bet. When ma passed away I listened to my father crying through the walls. It was torture.”

  “Your mom died?” Eli knows it’s her grandmother who raised her.

  “Yeah. She got sick. It was difficult. Dad was just diagnosed with Diabetes. He cheats and eats bad stuff. I’m constantly having to check in on him.”

  “So you moved out?”

  She nods. “I live with my fiancé.”

  This shuts Eli right up. He can’t bear to hear her talk about another guy. Even though Eli knows she doesn’t belong to him, the jealousy burns into him like a raging fire. “Think about stopping by. The house is really coming along.”

  “Like I said, I’ll consider it.”

  Jonny comes out of the bathroom shaking his wet hands. At least Eli knows he washed them. He offers a wink to Clarke. “Have a good night then.”

  Chapter 15

  Every single time Abigail mentions Eli’s name Clarke wants to slap the girl. She’s been on her for information since she spotted her talking to Eli at the diner. It’s getting so annoying she’s thinking about taking a different shift to avoid her.

  It doesn't take Clarke long
to make the decision to go see Eli. After another sleepless night she's emotional and exhausted.

  Before heading out for more answers, she considers telling Tim what's been going on. It's not like he has anything to worry about. Clarke hasn't told Eli about Tyler and at this point she doesn't want to. Tim is going to be a good father. He'll stick around. She won't have to worry about waking up and finding him gone. Tim represents security. With Eli, nothing has ever been easy.

  In hindsight she should have known a teenage romance couldn't amount to something stable. They were children themselves.

  Clarke was forced to grow up early when she discovered she was with child. It's possible Eli never did.

  When her shift is almost over at the diner, Clarke slips out early so they're able to have the talk. She takes the short drive to his house and follows the lights on the back porch.

  Eli leans on the railing as if he was expecting her. She holds up a wrapped sub as she nears. "Figured you might be hungry."

  "I was taking a break. Didn't realize it had gotten so late. I'm actually starving." Eli opens the door and waits for her to go inside first.

  Clarke slips by without brushing against him. She sits down in a chair and watches as he puts the sub down and heads to the sink. What she doesn't expect is him to raise his dirty shirt over his head to reveal a bare, very muscular body. If someone were to take a picture of her at this very moment she’d never be able to deny the attraction she feels for him. He wets his hands in the sink and then splashes water on his face, only turning when he’s grabbed a paper towel and started drying the areas. While his face is covered, she takes in every single beautifully sculpted inch of his body.

  With her jaw fighting to close, Eli catches her gaze and smirks. “A little different than what you remember. That’s what years of being a Marine does to a man.”

  She almost stumbles on her words. “You joined the Marines?”

  “Yep. The day after I left home. Figured it was the best choice for me. I needed to stay focused on something other than what I lost. I had to find a way to make my dad proud without having to see him. It was the only option.”