Road to Love (Triple R Book 4)

by Jules Dixon

  “I can’t believe the homophobic crap that comes out of people’s mouths here. That my brother has to deal with even one word of that bullshit makes me so furious.” Tears sat on the edge of her lower lashes.

  I pulled her to me. “Hey, we’re big boys. We can take care of ourselves. Less worrying.”

  “He’s only sixteen. He’s only a boy.”

  “Shit. I’d tell him to get tough skin, but who likes tough skin? Tell him to moisturize ‘cause soft skin, that’s what we really want.”

  Her ponytail swung as she rocked her forehead against my chest. She looked up. “I’ll let him know. I really do hope everything works out between you and Holt.”

  I wiped the tears that spilled over the edges and down her cheeks.

  Backing away, she pulled her phone out of her bag. “Text me and let me know how Sage is doing, please. Cute couple. Hope they can work their problems out, too.”

  I watched her walk off to her truck.

  Cute girl driving a truck. So hot. Hot cowboy driving a truck. So fucking hot.

  ****

  After knocking several times on Sage’s hospital door, I didn’t hear anything from inside so I stuck my head in to call out without a return answer. Making my way back to the front desk, I heard a voice in the hallway.

  “Ollie!” Sage shuffled her feet toward me.

  I met her at the end of the hallway as she crept along. “Are you supposed to be out of bed?”

  She grabbed my arm for support. “Walking is good for me and the babies. Stress, apparently, not so much.”

  I had to part the collection of balloons to get her to her hospital bed and the room smelled like a florist shop.

  “Holy shit. Guess you have a lot of admirers, but I should have known. You’re the wise and great Sage.”

  She scanned the room. “Half of them are from my Ogre.”

  The fact she still called him “hers” was a good sign that there was a door cracked open, but there needed to be some space for the big bear to walk through.

  I helped her back onto the bed, and she pointed at her slip-on shoes. I pulled them off. She was still four months from her due date and already she couldn’t touch below her thighs. I couldn’t wait to see what she looked like when she was ready to pop.

  Pregnancy fascinated me. That a body grew inside another was almost alien in my book, but in a mostly good way. I had yet to ask Holt his thoughts on parenthood. That would be a conversation for a day way off in the future, if we could get past our current issues.

  “How are you, Ollie? Better yet, how’s Holt?”

  I pulled the chair from the corner and up to the side of her bed.

  “He’s great.”

  She had too much to deal with. Definitely didn’t need to add worrying about my problems to the mix.

  “So he’s someone from your past?”

  “We met in the desert. I told Rahl about him, and apparently, he put two and two together and figured out who Holt really was.” I chuckled. “Gonna have to give the Ogre a hug or two.”

  Sage’s head turned away from me, but I could still see her lip quiver.

  “Sage, please, look at me.” She brought her eyes back to me and the tears were trailing down her round-from-the-pregnancy cheeks. “You and Rahl … that is meant to be.”

  “I wish I could believe you, Ollie. I don’t know if I can trust him again.”

  “The dad thing wasn’t his fault. His training kicked in, sweetie. I’ll be honest, anyone at VSI probably would have noticed the similarity of eyes.”

  “Maybe, but my bigger issue is that he asked me to marry him knowing he was holding in a secret. What if I’d said yes? I would’ve felt tricked.” She adjusted in the bed, her eyes lowered. “Thankfully, I had the good sense to say no.”

  “Good sense? Come on, Sage. Love is about giving up some of the good sense in exchange for accepting imperfect and making a commitment to be there through the good and the bad. So, why no to marriage, really?”

  “I … I’m…” She lay back in the bed. “You don’t understand.”

  I stood beside her. “What are you scared of, Sage?”

  “I’m not scared,” she blurted out.

  Your eyes say otherwise, but if you want to go the hard route—we can do that.

  “Do you not love him?”

  Her head snapped to me. “I’m completely in love with him.” He body shook. “The last two days of not seeing him … well, it felt like a huge piece of me was AWOL.”

  “Then why continue to push him away? He’s obviously deeply in love with you, too. The man’s a complete mess.”

  She brought her hands to her face and the broken sound that came from her made me sit next to her to hold her.

  “Hey, everything will be okay.” I soothed her, rubbing her back.

  Her forehead rocked against me. “What if he’s only with me because of the babies? How can I know it’s for me, too? Ollie, I can’t take the risk that he’s sacrificing his own happiness. I want him to be happy, even if I’m not.”

  And there the reason was, just like Rahl had said. He knew Sage, and more yet, he understood her. If she could get past her fears, these two would be a couple that people admired for years to come.

  “Rahl told you he loved you even when you thought you couldn’t have children, right?”

  She rubbed her stomach, the bump moving with three little bodies. “Yes, but then this surprise was thrown at him. Maybe he feels trapped and obligated to be here for us?”

  I smiled. “We both know that isn’t Rahl. He’s a good guy, but if he had even a tiny suspicion that you weren’t his forever love, he wouldn’t have asked you to be.”

  Her head snuggled under my chin. How much she missed him was crushing into me as she treated me as a surrogate for Rahl’s burly frame and my trim, lanky body was nothing like his.

  “What do you want, Sage?”

  “I want Rahl back.” She backed away.

  “Anything else?”

  “I just don’t know.”

  “Then getting you in the same room is a start and maybe the two of you can figure the rest out together.”

  “Maybe.” I grabbed a tissue from the tray at the end of the bed. She dabbed at her eyes. “Thanks. Is he here?”

  I glanced at my watch. One o’clock.

  “I’d almost guarantee he’s sitting in the waiting room, surrounded by one or more of the people who care about you most.”

  “I can’t say yes to his proposal.”

  “I think he’ll be fine with that. At least for now. He just needs to be forgiven and to know you trust him. Can you trust him?”

  “I want to talk to him. Can you go get him?”

  Even though she didn’t answer my question, she moved in the right direction.

  “Be right back.”

  The waiting room was filled with people, including Rahl. Jude, Presley, Kanyon, Willow, Drexel, Sage’s friend Tia, and Buzz from VSI were all waiting to hear news about their friend.

  “Hey, everyone.” There were multiple words of welcome and one long incoherent mumble from Buzz.

  Rahl’s eyes tinged with red, he swallowed hard, and his big body swayed in his boots as he stood.

  “Have a little fun last night, boss?” I asked.

  Jude and Kanyon snickered like teenagers but they didn’t look any better than Rahl.

  “How’s Sage?” He walked toward me, his body tensing with each step. “Oliver. How. Is. Sage?”

  I shook my head and slapped a hand on his shoulder. “Calm down, Ogre. She needs you to be the un-Ogre today and maybe for a long while after.”

  “Does that mean she’s going to let me in the room?”

  “She wants to see you.”

  The whole room let out a breath. And for just a moment I thought I was going to see him cry. He struggled but held the emotions back. The hangover wasn’t helping.

  I put both hands on his shoulders and shook him so he really listened. “Now, you need
to let her talk. You keep whatever’s rolling around in that head of yours about marrying her to yourself. Fucking rainbows and goddamn butterflies are the only things that should come from your mouth. She loves you and that’s all you need to concentrate on, besides keeping her happy and healthy.”

  “I was meant to do that.”

  “I believe you.” I smiled back at all of the hopeful faces behind him. “All right, let’s go, boss.”

  After we’d crossed into the maternity ward, Rahl’s feet skidded to a halt and squeaked on the tile floor. I turned to him.

  He leaned against the wall. “Are you sure she wants to see me? I don’t want to stress her or hurt the babies.”

  “Yes, she wants to see you. Now, grow a pair and let that beautiful woman talk. You just listen.”

  He took a deep breath and mumbled, “Fucking rainbows and goddamn butterflies,” and I chuckled at hearing his resolve.

  I opened the door and Rahl stepped inside.

  “Ollie, can you stay please?” Sage asked.

  “Everything okay?” I peeked around the curtain to make sure she hadn’t changed her mind.

  She nodded but I could see her trepidation as she pulled the blanket taut over her body while Rahl crossed the room to her. I stood just inside the door where the privacy curtain hung partially pulled.

  Rahl’s hands clasped the bottom rail of her hospital bed. Fighting the urge to walk to her, he was giving her time, but the tension in his arms told me he would break soon if they couldn’t get over this. “You’ve never looked more beautiful, Sage.”

  Damn, for an ogre you can be sweet.

  “I feel fat today.” Staring at her belly, a small frown crossed her face.

  “Beautiful, that’s all baby … our … babies.” He emphasized the “our” with a growl that indicated he was still upset at her saying they were hers.

  She looked up from her stomach. “Yes, our babies, Rahl.”

  “I’m sorry for not telling you sooner about Dave.”

  Sage smoothed the blanket up over the larger-than-a-basketball mound. “It was just a lot to take with the whole proposal thing and the farm issues.”

  His knuckles whitened as he clutched the footboard. “Then don’t think about any of it until after the babies are born. Your health and their health are what matters to me right now.”

  “I don’t know if I can do that, now that I know about Dave and his health.”

  He moved slowly as he rounded to the side of her bed. “Do you want to talk to him?”

  “Not today, but yeah, I think I should. A child should know his or her father.”

  Rahl sat on the edge of the bed next to her. “I can’t put into words how much I missed you. I didn’t sleep at all last night. I was so worried that I had ruined us.” His voice cracked in the middle of the sentence.

  I backed behind the curtain a little more. Although he was my friend, he was also my boss and the gray area was starting to turn a little dark for me.

  “I’m sorry, Rahl. I forgive you. I missed you, too.” Her words were on a sob and I watched as he brushed his face with his hand, then used a tissue to wipe hers.

  “Can you go home today?” he asked.

  I moved farther behind the curtain, only seeing Rahl, not Sage.

  “No. My blood pressure is still out of whack and they did a couple more tests and an ultrasound yesterday. Baby girl is still being out-eaten and growing slower than her two brothers.”

  Rahl leaned over. His big hands cupped Sage’s stomach and he kissed the round ball. “You boys stop being mean to your sweet sister. This is your daddy ta—”

  I peeked around the curtain to see what had stopped him and what I saw was the best sight I’d seen since I walked down the stairs to find Holt sitting in their basement. Sage had grabbed his head and the two were locked in a soft kiss. Rahl’s hands moved from her belly and like she was a doll, he lifted her onto his lap and adjusted himself further onto the bed. As their kissing became more intense, I decided it was time to excuse myself. Creeping on the boss is just plain creepy.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Holt

  When I got back to the farm it was already close to five in the morning. I threw on the same work clothes I wore yesterday, and Cade was sitting at the table when I came back down to start coffee.

  “How was your night, brother?” he mumbled, indicating he’d had a long night, too.

  I cleaned up the kitchen while the coffee finished brewing.

  Cade stood and walked to the cabinet next to the sink to pull out two travel mugs. “Holt, I asked you—”

  “I know what you asked, but what I don’t know is how to answer it.”

  “Honestly?”

  I glared over my shoulder.

  “Holt, I saw you inside the doors of the hospital with a guy and it didn’t look like just friends to me.”

  I poured a mug of coffee. “Sometimes your imagina—”

  “Please stop. I won’t be anything other than supportive.”

  I brushed past him to the door, set my coffee on the floor, and slipped on my boots. “I can’t.”

  “Why?”

  Keeping my back to him, I inhaled a shaky breath. “I don’t know.” I grabbed his boots and threw them toward him. “Let’s go fix that barn door.”

  After the door was repaired, I showered, ate a quick lunch, then saddled up two horses to check out the property. I put Cade on Silver for entertainment value. I wanted to see how she’d treat him. When she took off like a gate had been opened at the Kentucky Derby, I couldn’t help but laugh. Whereas my gelding, who I named Mr. Niceguy, took his time, meandering out into the field like he had all day to enjoy his excursion.

  The afternoon was crisp. A flannel shirt as an outerwear was perfect for the ride to shelter off the wind. Not that my horse picked up the pace to make a wind. He walked along as Cade turned Silver around and she came roaring back.

  “Did you know she had that kick inside her?”

  I laughed again as his pupils returned to normal size from his excited state. “Yep, took her out last week and she did the same to me. Was quite the chick magnet, though. You might wanna think about giving her a ride into town someday, after you clean up that nasty birds’ nest you glued onto your face.”

  “What?” He scratched at the mess of facial hair. “This sign of virility and a life lived by my own rules? If a woman doesn’t like me the way I am, then she can keep on lookin’.”

  Silver shook her head as if she didn’t agree. I gave Mr. Niceguy a little nudge to make an effort to at least go faster than a cow would.

  “Holt, I need to stay here for at least another week.”

  “Yeah, I figured. That’s fine, but next Sunday.”

  “I know, I’m outta here. Thanks.”

  Mr. Niceguy stopped to munch on some clover that was growing along the outer banks of the field. I let him. Life was too short not to enjoy your favorite treat. Mine just happened to be 5’11” and 180 pounds of white-haired, arctic blue-eyed male. My brain visited last night and how little sleep Ollie and I’d actually accomplished. It seemed as soon as one of us nodded off, the other was raring to go again and neither of us wanted the night to end.

  “Cade … I’m gay.” Damn it if I didn’t have to look away from him.

  Why can’t I just say it to his face?

  “Now, was that hard to say?”

  “Yes, it fucking was!” I roared.

  “Why?” he thundered back.

  “Because I feel like I’ve failed our family. Like I’m not like all the other Jamison boys. Like I’m doing something wrong that will bring shame to our family. And wait until Mama hears that Suzanne and I aren’t gonna be making lil’ Jamison babies. She’s gonna disown me.”

  “Nah. She doesn’t have it in her to disown any of her babies. I’ve been in one too many a jams where I had to call her for bail money without Daddy knowin’. She never says a word about any of that when I come home. Only gives me one of
her famous hugs and asks me the same question, ‘Fried chicken or country ham?’”

  I hadn’t ever thought of it that way. When I traveled home, she did the same thing to me. Except she asked me, “Grits or bacon green beans?” And she asked our oldest brother, Buck, “Pecan pie or black bottom pie?” And our second to oldest brother, Parker, “Biscuits and red-eye gravy or homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast?” The third oldest brother, Cortland, “Brunswick stew or étouffée?” And our sister, Lily, “Corn bread or Grandma’s sweet clover-leaf rolls?” And our oldest sister, Rose, “Fried green tomatoes or okra?” Each of us had a part to play in the family. What was even better is she usually knew which we would choose from her two offerings, and often it was already going in the kitchen. Like some Jedi, southern mother intuition.

  I stopped Mr. Niceguy. “Do you think she already knows?”

  Cade pulled on Silver’s reins and glanced over at me. “Probably.”

  My heart bucked in my chest. “Do you think she knows about Parker and Suzanne?”

  Cade chuckled and kicked Silver to move. “Well, after catchin’ them down in the creek skinny-dippin’, I’d think she has more than a clue.”

  “When did that happen?” I called out.

  “About three weeks ago while you were doin’ your cross country tour to find yourself. Parker said he tried to call you.”

  “I turned my phone off while I was drivin’. I liked hearin’ the hum of the tires and nothing else. Afghanistan could be loud, and dusty, and overwhelming. Silence never spoke great things there. When I got back I knew it would take some time to adjust.”

  “Your time there … you doing okay back here, Holt?”

  “I am. I didn’t love it there, but I didn’t hate it. Glad my time is over and I can move forward.” A deep inhale of the cool country air settled my erratic breathing. “The best thing about my time there was that I started a relationship with a fellow soldier.”

  “That’s why you’re in Nebraska?”

  “That’s right.”

  “White-haired guy?”

  “Yes.” My heart thudded as I watched a black BMW pull in front of the house and Oliver stepped from the vehicle.

  “Well, well, look who’s at the house. I’m gonna assume that’s the Nebraska stud himself.”