Road to Love (Triple R Book 4)

by Jules Dixon

  Before I could say anything, Cade had jabbed poor Silver in her ribs with his boots and she took off on a dash that even had Mr. Niceguy taking notice. Silver galloped like she was enjoying herself. Cade on the other hand hooped and hollered like he was about to die.

  I laughed and shook the reigns to stimulate Mr. Niceguy’s speed. He took off on a nice trot that had me remembering what I’d done last night.

  Sore. Definitely in the best way.

  I reached the house, where Cade had already introduced himself to Oliver and they were releasing Silver into the field. Mr. Niceguy joined the three other horses, and they both whinnied the news of their explorations.

  We put away the riding gear. Oliver jumped at a mouse being chased by a cat in the barn.

  “I can see the city has a firm hold on you, Oliver.” Cade laughed with me.

  “Mice?” he choked out.

  “They’re more scared of you.” I glanced at his pale face and rethought that comment. “Well, maybe not.”

  We walked back outside and leaned against the back of my new truck while Cade and Oliver made small talk. My brother tried to get stories of the sandbox from Oliver, but he started to understand that there were stories that we’d rather forget and turned his attention to what bars had the hottest and easiest girls, which Oliver seemed uncomfortable divulging and made me wonder if he didn’t want Cade showing up with someone he had been intimate with. It was a possibility we might have to face. As much as I didn’t want to, I would be the gentleman my mother raised. I’ll try real hard.

  “Cade, can you leave us alone for a few minutes? Maybe make some sweet tea for our guest?”

  Oliver cleared his throat. “We take ours straight-up here, at least most native Nebraskans do.”

  I reared back. “No sugar?”

  “I like to think Nebraskans are naturally sweet and we don’t need it,” Oliver retorted.

  Cade nodded. “I’m kinda hopin’ the same thing. Say, you have any sisters, Oliver?”

  “No,” Oliver and I said in unison, mine more irritated than Ollie’s version.

  “I’ll make a pitcher straight-up and a pitcher sweet.”

  “Now that’s thinkin’ with that Jamison head.” I turned him toward the house and pushed him forward.

  “Nice meetin’ you, Oliver,” he relayed over his shoulder.

  “You too, Cade.”

  After Cade stepped out of earshot, I pulled Oliver around the corner into the barn and we shared a long, deep kiss.

  Ollie broke the kiss and we panted, while his eyes searched mine for some information he seemed to be missing. “Holt, damn, you’ve never kissed me like that.”

  A pit opened in my stomach. Unfortunately, he was right. I’d always held something back, protecting a part of myself. I needed to be the man Oliver deserved beside him, the one that would make him happy no matter what. The one who would love him forever.

  “Oliver, I told Cade I’m gay, and the world didn’t end. I’m sorry I always had a shield up and didn’t give you all of me.”

  “That’s what I figured. I’d love to say it doesn’t hurt that you couldn’t let go with me, but it does. I hope this Holt is here to stay.”

  “I’m doin’ my best to make him permanent.”

  Oliver sighed, pecked my lips, and walked out the back of the barn toward the pond and took a place along the bank. Lying on the soft grass, I remembered a week ago when I’d caught another couple making love right here on the green banks, the maple tree sprinkling bright crimson red leaves around. Fall was beautiful in Nebraska. I was looking forward to having four real seasons, but I was going to have to do some research on farming techniques here and talk to Vern. He’d already offered up his sixty years of farming experience, another example of someone willing to help the new guy in town.

  “Holt, I’m sorry about the girl showing up at my apartment this morning.” Oliver lay next to me.

  “One of the more interesting mornings of my life. First time I’d felt a woman’s naked body against mine. Definitely confirmed I was gay and not bisexual, at all. Don’t get me wrong, she was a beautiful woman, but when she wrapped herself around me and grabbed my junk, there was no part of me that reacted positively.”

  “She grabbed your dick?”

  “Yep.”

  Ollie’s body shook with laughter, but he muffled his outburst. “I’m … sorry, Holt.” The words were meant to be apologetic but they came out all garbled. When he calmed, he cleared his throat. “I’m really sorry that happened. But I can’t believe you never experimented in high school? Or college? The girls had to have been all over you.”

  “I knew I was gay and using a woman to confirm that fact never seemed like the gentlemanly thing to do. When they tried somethin’ I told them I was promised to someone back in ‘Bama, and most respected the declaration. I stayed away from the ones that didn’t.”

  “And I always knew I was attracted to just about anyone. But I want to be clear with you. Holt, my attraction and feelings for you eclipse anything I’ve ever felt for anyone. You are the main feature, all of the past partners were just previews. And I hope we end up being a long-running franchise.”

  If he was going to make that firm commitment, I wanted to match him and take the next step in my life.

  “I’m gonna call Mama and Daddy tonight and tell them.”

  “Do you want me to be here to support you?”

  I leaned forward and kissed him. “I’d like that. I’ll make you dinner?”

  “You cook?”

  “Steaks are already set out.”

  “Sounds about perfect.”

  “Nope, this is about perfect.”

  I rolled him on top of me, and we let our bodies take over. The warmth of the fall day settled in as I made love to the man who had rescued my heart from a sentence I never thought it would be freed.

  Now if I can free myself.

  ****

  After dinner, Oliver handed me my phone back, and I stared at it for twenty minutes. He and Cade were deep in conversation about some latest video game. I didn’t know half of what they were talking about, but at least they got along.

  Remember there’s a time difference. Cordie and Red will be going to bed soon. Don’t want to upset them right before bed.

  My finger hovered over the number to my parents’ landline. Cell phones probably weren’t ever going to happen for them on the farm. They were nearing their seventies and change was always about the weather and people, not about technology. I pressed send and my finger tingled as I released the red spot on the touch screen.

  “Good evening, Jamison residence.” From the time we were allowed the honor, Daddy had taught us to answer the phone that way to represent the family appropriately.

  “Hey, Dad, it’s Holt.”

  Cade and Oliver stopped talking.

  “Holt, it’s nice to hear your voice. Your mama’s in the kitchen finishing up the topping for her buttermilk pie.”

  “Wish I was there to have a piece of that.”

  “You’re welcome anytime, son.”

  “I hope so.” I swallowed as my throat closed in. “How are you doing, Dad?”

  “Went to the doc for a checkup last week and he says I will outlive Granddaddy at this pace. The tickers still a tickin’.”

  “That’s good to hear. Say, Daddy, I need to tell you something.”

  “Now, you haven’t gone and gotten a girl pregnant, have you?”

  I grimaced at his question. My hand trickled with sweat, so holding the phone was starting to become a challenge. I pulled the phone away to place him on speaker. I needed everyone to hear this.

  I set the phone on the table. “No, not that. I put you on speaker. Cade is here, too.”

  “Hey, Dad!”

  “Cade William.” Dad’s voice sharpened and boomed through the phone. “A check for your last three weeks in Montana showed up here for you about a month ago. Here’s the deal, my youngest son, I cashed it and I’m ke
epin’ the money as a nice down payment on the couple thousand you owe me for that last run-in with the law that Mama saved your butt from.”

  “I kinda need that money.” Cade slumped, and I reached over and gave him a squeeze on his shoulder.

  “Well, too bad. Now, you keep your nose out of trouble ‘cause Cordie has been instructed and she agrees, so no trying any of that ‘baby of the family’ bullcrap, there are no more bailouts gonna happen with our money. Am I fully understood?”

  “Yes, sir, I understand.”

  I whispered to Cade, “You’ll be fine.” I raised my voice but there was a shake when the words came out. “There’s someone else I’d like you to meet. Daddy, this is Oliver Aston.”

  “Hello, sir, nice to meet you.” Oliver moved his chair closer to me.

  “Sounds like a military boy to me. Am I right?”

  Oliver nodded. “Yes, sir. Five years. I served in Afghanistan with your son.”

  “Good to hear you know some people in Omaha already, Holt. Nice to meet you, Oliver.”

  I inhaled a deep breath but it did nothing to settle my stomach. “Daddy, Oliver isn’t just a past friend. I’m…” I was glad the phone was laying on the table ‘cause my hands shook like a newborn foal’s legs. I grabbed the edge for support. Oliver grabbed for one and the warmth of his hand on mine was enough to settle the majority of unease. “Daddy, I’m gay, and Oliver is my boyfriend.” I rushed the words and wondered if he understood what I’d said.

  There was a long bout of silence and I tapped the screen to make sure we were still connected.

  Yep, he’s still there.

  “Dad? I’m really sor—”

  “Don’t be sorry, Holt. It’s your mother and I who should be sayin’ sorry to you. That damn birth pact that Cordie and Suzanne’s mother set up was ridiculous. Was that what kept you from tellin’ us the truth?”

  “Not only that. I don’t want to embarrass or disappoint you.”

  “You’re a twenty-five-year-old man, Holt. What you do in your life is up to you. I still love you and I look forward to meetin’ you, Oliver.”

  There wasn’t an inch of me that didn’t feel weight being lifted off of it. I crumpled forward and cupped my face in my hands. Oliver stood and his body hovered over mine, wrapping his arms around me. I cried, letting years of frustration and fear flow out of me with the tears.

  “Thank you, Mr. Jamison.”

  “Please, at least call me Redell. My friends call me Red. But, if you feel it’s right … Daddy would be fine, too.”

  My body rocked with a release of emotion that had been mountainous in weight.

  “Daddy, Holt’s … um, he’s a little relieved. Is Mama there?” Cade asked, picking up the phone and turning it away from us to shield them from my breakdown.

  “Yeah, you wanna talk to her, too?”

  “Yes,” I breathed out the word, calming slightly, before Oliver kissed the top of my head. He pulled his chair close to wrap an arm around my shoulders.

  Cade set the phone back on the table.

  “Cordie! Cordelia! Holt and Cade wanna talk to you.” Daddy didn’t cover the mouthpiece so all three of us cringed at the volume of his cracked-like-the-Alabama-dirt-in-July voice.

  There was some ruffling through the phone before Mama’s voice came through. “Cade and Holt Jamison! I’ve been worried sick over both of you. It’s not right to keep your mama wondering if you’re alive or dead.”

  “Sorry, Mama,” both of us said, our voices almost matching in tone and volume. Oliver chuckled. I shook my head at him as I wiped tears from my face.

  “Well, that’s more like it. What’s new in Nebraska? What’s the weather like? Is the farm nice? Are you two eating okay? I’ll send some chicory coffee this week.” She was known to never take a breath.

  I sat up in my chair and leaned forward, placing my elbows on the table.

  “The farmhouse is nice and the previous farmhand did a good job of keeping things well maintained. Not a lot of work to catch up on. And I’d appreciate the coffee. I haven’t scouted out any at the grocery store yet.”

  “I’ll send extra then.”

  “Mama, I want to tell you somethin’.”

  “Okay, I’m listenin’.”

  “I’m not gonna marry Suzanne.”

  “Well, honey, I kind of figured that after her and Parker came to us yesterday sayin’ they’re engaged.”

  “They’re engaged?” The question sounded more irritated than I meant it to be. “I mean, congratulations to them. Honestly, that doesn’t surprise me, though. I’ve known about them for a while.”

  “Why didn’t you say somethin’?”

  “It was their news to tell you, not mine. Which kind of brings me to my next thing that I want to tell you.”

  She cleared her throat. “Holt, before you say anythin’, I want you to know I love you and there’s nothin’ you can say that will change that.”

  “Are you sure, Mama?” I asked quietly.

  “Yes. I am proud of the man you are, no matter what.”

  “You already know.” My heart beat in a weird rhythm that made my breaths choppy.

  “Honey, I kinda knew, even back when you were a baby. You weren’t different, you were just who you are. I’m sorry about the Suzanne thing. I wanted to stop the expectation after I suspected, but when Betsy kept goin’ on and on about how perfect you two would be together, well, I didn’t think I could say it wasn’t gonna happen without makin’ a big fuss. If you’d come to me and told me for sure, I would’ve told her to stop.”

  If only I could’ve been that brave.

  “I should’ve, but I thought you’d be disappointed.”

  Her voice came back interlaced with gentle sobs. “My beautiful boy, I have never been disappointed in or by you. You make me so proud to be your mama, and you always will.”

  “I’ll never give you grandbabies like the rest of the boys.” Not that I’d ever thought of a having my own family, but my parents loved grandkids. It would be a standout difference between me and my brothers that I’d never be able to overcome.

  “The Lord works in beautiful ways, Holt. I had patience waiting for you to come to us with this news. You have patience in Him to know when you’re ready for that gift, if the day ever comes. But if it doesn’t, well, there will be other blessings to appreciate in your life.”

  I wiped away tears. “Mama, I’d like you to meet someone. This is my boyfriend, Oliver Aston.”

  “Hello, Mrs. Jamison.”

  “Oliver Aston, well, that’s a beautiful name and voice.” She cleared her throat. “Tell me, Oliver, are you gonna treat my boy right?”

  Oliver’s head reared back and his eyes widened. “Uh … I mean, yes, ma’am.”

  “That’s what better happen. Holt’s always been my favorite—”

  “Mama, Cade’s right here,” I spoke up.

  “Oh, Cade knows he’ll always be my baby. Every child is a favorite for a different reason, and had you let me finish, I would have said Holt’s always been my favorite for his big heart and his ability to look out for his brothers and sisters. You make him change and I’ll come up there and you, Mr. Aston, will get a big helping o’ southern charm.”

  “She doesn’t really mean ‘southern charm’ in a good way, does she?” Oliver whispered.

  I started to shake my head.

  “No … I don’t,” she said firmly. “And I hear just fine.”

  Oliver squirmed in his chair, and Cade threw his head back laughing.

  I never remembered Mama being this protective and forward with any of my brothers’ or sisters’ partners. I didn’t really need it, but I kind of liked it.

  “So, are we all good, Jamison boys?”

  Daddy’s voice crackled in the background.

  “Yes, Mama,” Cade and I said in unison again. How she could make us do that was beyond Jedi powers.

  “Okay, well, I need to start a new batch of whipped cream for the pie ‘cause
your daddy just showed me what is now butter ‘cause he didn’t stop whippin’. So I expect to hear from you once a week. Do I make myself clear?”

  “Yes, Mama,” Cade said.

  “Yes, Mama,” I mimicked him.

  “Oliver, that goes for you, too.”

  Oliver cleared his throat. “Yes, Mrs. Jami—”

  “It’s Mama,” she informed Oliver and he smiled.

  “Yes, Mama.”

  “All right, you boys have a good night. Love you all.”

  We all returned the sentiment, then I told her good-bye and hit end.

  I sat staring at the phone. The call almost seemed like a dream, and I was going to wake up with the same fear I’d lived with for the last twenty-five years, or at least the ten where I’d understood who I was.

  “Holt, babe, are you okay?” Oliver’s voice pulled me into the now as his warm hand slipped onto my neck, giving a light squeeze.

  “Did that just happen?”

  “What?” His eyebrows narrowed.

  “Did I just tell my parents that I’m gay?”

  His other hand grabbed mine and gave a squeeze. “Yeah, you did. I’m proud of you.”

  “And did they really accept it?”

  “Actually, I think they welcomed me into the family as one of their own. Not that I want you thinking of me as a brother at all, but it was a very warm welcome.”

  I leaned forward and without even thinking about Cade being in the room, I kissed Oliver. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it was the first kiss we’d had in front of anyone and I wasn’t afraid of what he might think.

  Cade stood. “Glad things went well, bro. I’m gonna head to the bar, see if I can meet me a little Nebraska sweetness for the night.”

  “No bringin’ bar riffraff back here, Cade.”

  “Yes, Mama,” he retorted sarcastically.

  I pushed him toward the door with my boot-covered foot. “Good luck with that shitty attitude.”

  He grabbed a baseball cap from the rack behind the door, stuffed his hair inside, and headed out.

  Oliver stood up. “I’m sorry, but I have to be on a surveillance job at five a.m. I’m going to head out, too.”

  “I wish you could stay.”

  “Tomorrow night?”