Take It Off

by Cheryl Douglas

  “Sure, just text me when you know.”

  “Thanks for comin’ in,” I said, trying not to tense up when he grabbed my hand.

  Don’t kiss me. Even though he had last night and it had been… nice. Things were different now. We had an audience, namely my ex. Rage surged through me when I realized I was holding back because of him. He sure as hell hadn’t held back because of me, even though I’d been wearing his ring.

  I curled my arm around Paul’s neck and pressed my lips to his, willing myself to feel something. I waited an extra beat just to be sure. Nothing. Ugh! I hated Pierce Eason. Just seeing him again had ruined me for all other men.

  I made my way back to the bar to catch up on orders. Carolyn filled me in before she asked, “You ever heard this song before?”

  “Nope. You know I don’t listen to his stuff anymore.” Which wasn’t easy. I loved his sound. Every time I heard one of his songs on the radio, I had to will myself to change the station.

  “This must be new,” Carolyn said, oblivious to my annoyance. “Listen to it.”

  “I’d rather not.” When I paused long enough to listen to the lyrics, I realized it was about lies. Mistakes. Regrets. I hoped he regretted the way he’d treated me. The pain he’d caused me. The heartless bastard.

  “I can’t imagine how it must feel,” Carolyn said, clucking her tongue as she placed her hand over mine. “Do ya just feel sick, seein’ him again, hon?”

  “I’m not gonna give him the satisfaction of affecting me.”

  “Is that why you were playin’ it up with blondie?”

  Paul had dark blond hair and baby blues—an all-American guy. And the antithesis of my ex… so exactly what I needed.

  “I wasn’t playin’ anything up. He’s a nice guy. I like him.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You know you’re a terrible liar, right? I don’t even know why you bother tryin’.”

  I blamed my father for that. When most teens were perfecting that skill—sneaking out of their bedroom windows at night—I was too scared to pull a stunt like that. I walked the line. I was a good girl… until I got corrupted by a very bad boy.

  “Be right back,” I said, filling my tray after she told me where to deliver all the drinks.

  It took forever to make my rounds ‘cause I had to listen to everyone tell me how nice it was to see Pierce back in town. Yeah, real fuckin’ nice. I’d be counting the minutes ‘til he hauled ass outta town. With any luck, maybe he’d buy his mama a sweet house in Tennessee so she could be closer to him and he’d have no reason to visit these parts again.

  But I couldn’t see that happening. He was a Kentucky boy at heart, and it was clear he still loved all these people as much as they loved him. He was the only one from around here who’d ever made it big, and he went from being a juvenile delinquent to the favorite son, seemingly overnight. Guess money and fame had that effect on people. Made ‘em forget a man’s sins.

  “God,” I said, slamming the tray down on the bar while Carolyn drew beers. “I wish he’d just get the hell outta here. I can’t stand the sight of him anymore.”

  “I get the feeling he’s not in a hurry to go anywhere. You know he hasn’t taken his eyes off you all night, right?”

  “Why do you think I want him to leave?” I couldn’t stand it anymore. My skin felt all hot and prickly… damn it, and my panties were wet. Just listening to his voice and hearing him strum that old guitar had that effect on me.

  “Remember when you guys used to drive down to the lake and sit out on an old blanket while he wrote songs?” She smiled, completely oblivious to my warning glare. “He used to say you were his muse.”

  “He used to say a lot of things. All BS, I’m sure.”

  “Honey,” she said, looking concerned. “You don’t really believe that, do you? I know he was an asshole for cheatin’ on you, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t love you.”

  “You don’t cheat on someone you love, Car.” That had always been a hard line for me. I knew some women could forgive their man for cheating, but I’d never be counted among them.

  “You know what’s weird,” she said, wiping the bar down with a damp rag. “The fact he didn’t beg forgiveness at first. I mean, I get that he felt he had to tell you about it ‘cause he was feelin’ guilty, but why did he just let you leave like that?”

  “He was probably happy to be rid of me,” I said, trying to ignore the pang of sadness that accompanied that statement. “Meant he could fuck anyone he wanted.”

  “If that were true, why was he tryin’ so hard to get a hold of you once he left for Nashville? He even came back and had it out with your brother, right?”

  “So?”

  “A man wouldn’t go to those lengths unless he really wanted you back, Ke.”

  I didn’t even know why we were still talking about him. We hadn’t in eleven months because I told my best friend his name was strictly off limits. “I don’t really care. It’s done and over with, as far as I’m concerned. Let’s just hope he’ll stay the hell away from me for the rest of his visit now that he knows I am definitely not interested.”

  “So that’s a hard no then?” Carolyn asked, letting her eyes wander to the stage. “‘Cause I gotta tell you, he’s lookin’ hotter than ever.”

  I know, and that only makes me hate him more. “You know what they say, girl. Beauty is only skin deep.” And in his case, that was certainly true. Sure, he might be the sexiest man I’d ever laid eyes on. I could even admit that he still made all my girly bits stand at attention, but that didn’t mean I’d be won over by that crooked smile and those soulful eyes again. Never. Again.

  After a sigh of resignation, Carolyn asked, “Would you mind closin’ up tonight? My uncle’s car’s in the shop and I promised to give him a ride home. You know he’s always dead on his feet by midnight.”

  “Sure, that’s no problem.” I was in no hurry to get home anyhow. My mama had probably already gotten word that Pierce was back in town and she’d want to keep me up half the night talking about my feelings, making sure that I wasn’t stupid or desperate enough to forgive that sinner. That was Daddy’s favorite word to describe Pierce—he was an unholy sinner.

  Ah, if only they knew all the ways their baby girl had sinned with that man. They’d lock me in my room and never let me out.

  Chapter Three

  Pierce

  I sent my brother home when Roy told me Keira would be locking up by herself. He said he usually had two people stay and didn’t like the idea of leaving her alone, so I happily volunteered to stay and assured Roy she wouldn’t be alone. Hopefully this was our chance to finally talk, and I was happy to stick around and see her to her car safely. But now that we were the last two in the place she was trying to throw me out.

  “Not leavin’,” I said, sitting at the bar watching her. “I promised Roy I’d stay and make sure you were safe and that’s what I intend to do.”

  “I don’t need you to protect me! Why can’t you get that through your thick head?”

  Damn. She was sexy as hell when she was all fired up. “Whether you need it or not,” I said smirking, “you can consider me your personal bodyguard tonight.” And was I looking forward to guarding that sweet body again.

  “If I was worried about locking up by myself, I would’ve asked Paul to stay.”

  “Who the fuck’s that?”

  “The guy I was sitting with earlier.” She rolled her tongue in her cheek. “He’s new around here. Big fan of yours, but I’ve decided not to hold that against him. Everyone’s entitled to one flaw.”

  “You can’t tell me that dude’s your boyfriend,” I grumbled. “He looks like he’s about fifteen.” That wasn’t entirely true. He looked like he was Keira’s age, which was five years younger than me.

  “You’re so transparent,” she said, rolling her eyes as she polished and stacked glasses. “You think I don’t know you’re jealous?”

  “Fuckin’ right I’m jealous.”

 
I was done hiding my feelings for her, done lyin’. By the time I rolled out of Albany this time, she’d know the deal. I was still in love with her. I wanted her back, and I regretted everything I said and did to make her leave me.

  “You don’t get to be jealous,” she said, raising her chin defiantly. “I can do whatever I want, with whoever I want.”

  “Roy says you’ve been gettin’ around since we broke up.” And I’d like to kill every sonofabitch who laid a hand on her.

  Her jaw dropped. “He did not say that!”

  “Maybe not in so many words, but he said you girls date a lot. That true?” I was working on a water now, trying to lubricate my vocal cords after the workout I’d given them. I downed half the bottle while I watched her, waiting for a response.

  “Sure, I date. Nothin’ wrong with that. I have a lot of lost time to make up for.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “You mean ‘cause you got with me when you were so young?” She’d always told me she’d never regret that, that I was the only man she’d ever want. “You sayin’ you regret that now?”

  “There’s no point talking about this. Would you just get out so I can finish closin’ up? I’m dead on my feet.”

  “So, let me help you.”

  She sneered. “You? Do manual labor. That I’d like to see.”

  She was just breakin’ my balls. I’d worked my ass off growing up. Cutting lawns, pumping gas, sweeping floors at my old man’s factory in the summer. I may have plenty of money now, but I’d never forget what it felt like to have nothing.

  “Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

  “Yeah, right. Since when do you take orders from anyone?”

  I was getting tired of this back and forth. I loved her sass, but I’d love to shut her up even more. With a mouthful of my tongue, she’d have a hard time talking. I got up and moved around the bar. I stood behind her, my chest to her back. It was no secret I was hard, and I wasn’t trying to hide it.

  “You used to like giving me orders,” I whispered in her ear, brushing her long hair off her neck. “Remember, baby? Go down on me. Kiss me. Lick me. Fuck me. You gave all kinds of orders, and I was more than happy to oblige.”

  I felt her whole body stiffen, though she was trying her damnedest to pretend my words and the proximity of my body had no effect on her. My sweet little liar.

  “Were you the one giving orders the night that bitch came up to your hotel room? Did you tell her to get down on her knees and suck—”

  “There was no woman. I lied to you about that.”

  I waited for her to process the truth, bracing for a fight. She was gonna be mad as hell that I’d lied to her, but I prayed she’d believe me. It was a tough thing to prove, but I could if I had to. We’d just been passing through Atlanta on that leg of the tour. I didn’t even check into a hotel. I spent every night after the show on the tour bus, which my brother and manager could both confirm if she felt inclined to ask.

  I could have sworn she stopped breathing. So did I. I felt like our future was hanging in the balance.

  She curled the rag in her hand, her other hand forming a fist. I was bracketing her in, my arms on either side of hers in case she tried to bail before I could explain. “No, you’re lyin’ now. You were with someone else. You wouldn’t have told me you were if you weren’t… unless you were tryin’ to get rid of me?” She turned in my arms, her eyes sparkling with rage. “Is that it? Were you just trying to get rid of me and you thought that’d be the easiest way to do it?”

  I was afraid she’d jump to that conclusion, but goddamn, that couldn’t have been further from the truth. “Things weren’t good between us back then, Keira. You must remember. We were fightin’ all the time. You were miserable.”

  She was so beautiful, so close. I was itching to touch her, but I knew she’d drawn an invisible line I couldn’t cross.

  “I was miserable because you were gone all the time. We never got to see each other.”

  “I asked you to come with me.”

  Hell, I’d pleaded with her, but she stood her ground, claiming Kentucky was her home and until we got married, that’s where she belonged. She understood after the wedding we’d have to spend most of our time in Nashville when I wasn’t touring, but she claimed the year before our big day she wanted to spend with her family.

  “I would have, eventually,” she said, biting her lip, looking suddenly uncertain. “You knew that. I just wasn’t ready yet.”

  “Yeah, you would have come with me. But you would have been miserable the whole time, right? You would’ve been missing your family, your friends…” I looked around. “This place. This is where you belong, baby. I couldn’t take that away from you.”

  “So, you lied to me.”

  She was careful not to touch me, which meant she couldn’t take a deep breath or her perfect tits would be brushing my chest and I knew that’s all it would take to make her nipples hard. And reveal her deepest, darkest secret… she still wanted me. She thought she was so good at hiding it, but the attraction felt like a fucking living, breathing thing between us. It was palpable. Not being able to kiss her was sweet torture. My punishment for being the stupidest bastard on the planet.

  “I know this won’t make it any better, but I thought I was doing the right thing.” I sighed when she scowled and crossed her arms, looking away. “Fine, I was an idiot, okay? I admit it. Len told me he’d seen shit like this happen all the time. Couples gettin’ destroyed because one person resented the life the other was makin’ them live. It’s a tough life, baby. It sure as hell ain’t for everybody and I didn’t think it was for you.”

  “You decided that for me?” she asked, seething. “Instead of letting me decide for myself what I wanted, you made up your mind about what was best for me and didn’t even give me a say?”

  Her voice was dangerously low, but I could tell she was as pissed as if she’d been screaming like a banshee. “Like I said, I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

  “You’re sorry? You’re sorry that I cried my eyes out for weeks? You’re sorry that I lost ten pounds because I couldn’t eat? That I got bags under my eyes ‘cause I couldn’t sleep?” She shoved me, pushing me out of the way so she could step past me. “Are you sorry that I went out and got hammered and woke up in a cheap motel room because some asshole slipped something in my drink?”

  My head snapped up. “What? What the fuck did you say? Are you telling me you were raped?” ‘Cause if that’s what she was saying I was gonna hunt that motherfucker down and castrate him.

  “No.” She turned away, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “When Carolyn realized I’d left the bar without saying good-bye, they got worried, so my brother tried calling. When he couldn’t get me, he went to the station to track my cell phone. Luckily he was able to get there before…” She shuddered, closing her eyes.

  I stepped forward, hauling her into my arms. I didn’t care if she wanted to push me away or try to hurt me. I didn’t even mind if she tried to knee me in the balls. I’d take it. I’d take whatever she wanted to dish out as long as I got to hold her and absorb some of her pain.

  “Baby, I’m so sorry.”

  She sobbed, shaking her head against my chest, letting me stroke her hair. “I’d never have put myself in that position if I wasn’t so fucked up over losin’ you. I dated other people to try and get over you!”

  If I’d been the cause of her suffering that kind of trauma, I could never have lived with myself. “I hate that I hurt you. But sweetheart, you gotta believe me when I tell you I was just tryin’ to save us more pain down the line.”

  “You sure you weren’t doin’ it for the sake of your career?” she asked, looking up at me.

  There were still tears spilling out of her emerald green eyes and they were slaying me. I brushed them away, but more would fall. I hadn’t been there to dry her tears before. I would be this time. If she’d let me, I’d be there to dry her tears forever.

  I’d be lying if I told h
er I hadn’t thought twice when Len told me I had to give a hundred and ten percent to the album and tour I’d been working on at the time. I was tired of hearing other people cut my songs. Tired of being the talented songwriter all the superstars called when they were looking for a new hit. I wanted to be the one recording the hits, getting all the accolades. Except when I finally had them, they didn’t mean shit without my girl.

  “Answer me,” she said finally, taking a step back. “You said you were doin’ it for me. But was it really for the sake of your career?”

  I’d promised myself I would be completely honest with her, no matter how much it hurt. “I guess I was tryin’ to do what was best for both of us.”

  She bit her trembling lip, the tears still streaking her cheeks. “And you thought bein’ without me would be best for you?”

  There was no easy way to answer that. Maybe at the time I had. All the fighting was getting on my last nerve. It was distracting me from my work, and I felt like I was being pulled in a hundred different directions, but that didn’t take away from how much I loved her. This girl had always been my world. That never changed. Not even when we were apart and I knew she hated me.

  “I don’t know what I thought then. I just know it’s not the best thing for me now.” I gripped her arms, praying she wouldn’t try to flee. “Livin’ without you has been hell, baby.”

  She covered her face with her hands. “I can’t even believe this. I don’t know what to think right now, how to feel. I don’t know if I can ever trust you again.”

  I understood that she needed time to process everything I’d told her, but I hated like hell to let her go. It felt so damn good to touch her after so many months without her.

  “Can we go out tomorrow night?” I asked, feeling desperate. I needed to get a commitment from her—a time and a place where we could talk again. “Please. I know you’ll have all kinds of questions and I want to answer them.”

  “I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I might have to work tomorrow night.”