Take It Off

by Cheryl Douglas

  I didn’t want to put it off any longer. I’d already waited too damn long to right all my wrongs. “Please, baby. I’m beggin’ you. I know you don’t owe me anything, but just give me this. A couple of hours of your time. Just to talk.”

  When she didn’t say anything, I said, “Keira, you were in love with me once. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with me.”

  “Yeah, and you were the one who screwed all that up,” she said, thrusting her finger into my chest. “So don’t you dare try to put this on me!”

  “I’m not.” I curled my hands into fists. “I’m taking this all on. I know I was the one who fucked it all up, but at least gimme a chance to make it right.”

  “I don’t know what you think you can do or say,” she said, shaking her head. “It’s over. It’s been over for a long time.”

  “Doesn’t mean you forgot.” I drew her closer, brushing my lips over her temple. “I know you didn’t forget. Neither did I.”

  She drew a deep, shuddering breath and I could tell I was getting to her, wearing her down. Our attraction was too tough to fight, and she was trying to decide whether she wanted to. It was the same way when she’d been trying to decide whether to wait for marriage or give her virginity before, on the promise I’d never leave her.

  I broke that promise, but I sure as shit wouldn’t break another promise I made to her.

  “Your cell number still the same?” she asked softly.

  “Yeah.” I knew hers wasn’t. She’d changed it, presumably so I couldn’t harass her anymore.

  “Okay, I’ll text and let you know about tomorrow night.”

  The fact that she trusted me with her number again was a small victory, but at this point, I’d take any encouraging sign I could get.

  “Now, can you go? Please. I just need time to myself right now.”

  “I’ll wait in the parking lot, just to make sure you don’t need me. I’ll follow you home.”

  She shook her head. “You don’t have to do that. I drive home by myself every night.”

  I didn’t try to touch her again. I knew I had to let her set the pace if we took this any further. “Will you let me do this? Please? It’d help me sleep tonight if I knew you were safe and sound at home.”

  Her lip tilted up at the corner as she shook her head, looking resigned. “You were always good at taking care of me.” Her half-smile slipped before she said, “Until you weren’t anymore and I had to figure out how to take care of myself.”

  I got the message loud and clear—I’d let her down. But I wouldn’t make that mistake again. “People make mistakes, baby. I made a huge one. But is it unforgivable?” My palms were itching, my hands begging to touch her, but I curled them into fists, resisting the urge.

  “I don’t know,” she said, biting her lip. “I can’t answer that yet.”

  Chapter Four

  Keira

  The house was unusually quiet when I went downstairs for breakfast the next morning. “Where are Mom and Dad?” I asked my sister, Connie, who was refilling her coffee cup.

  “They started their day a long time ago, sugar.” She looked at her watch. “You slept in. Must’ve been a late night, huh?”

  A sleepless night was more like it. True to his word, Pierce had followed me home, which was twenty miles out of his way, but he didn’t seem to mind. He’d flashed his headlights when I stepped inside and it took everything in me to close the door instead of inviting him in.

  His admission—that he hadn’t been with another woman—rocked me. I didn’t know how to process it, or whether to even believe him. Desperate men said all sorts of things to get what they wanted, didn’t they?

  “Rumor has it your ex is back in town,” Connie said, handing me a fresh cup of brew when I sat at the huge oak table dominating the eating area of our open kitchen.

  My parents had raised eight kids in this house, and we’d shared most of our meals at this table for as long as I could remember. Most of my siblings had moved on to homes and apartments of their own now. Connie and I were the youngest and the only ones who still lived with our folks. They were in no hurry to be rid of us it seemed, so until we could save enough money for places of our own, my older sister and I were content with the arrangement.

  “Yeah, he came into the bar last night.”

  I watched Connie spray the skillet and set about making an omelet for me after popping two slices of bread in the toaster. She was such a caretaker. I knew she’d be a good mama someday. A point that wasn’t lost on her boyfriend of two years, who seemed ready to pop the question.

  “Yeah, I heard.” She sighed. “Carolyn called a little while ago to check on you and she told me.”

  “On the house phone?” I asked, watching my sister chop cooked ham and shred some cheddar cheese before adding it to the pan. “Why didn’t she just call my cell?”

  “She said it went straight to voice mail. You must have forgotten to charge it last night.”

  “Must have been distracted.” That was an understatement. I had a one-track mind last night. Pierce. At every turn, stop sign, and traffic light. Pierce. Pierce. Pierce. With flashing warning lights ahead that screamed—Pierce ahead. Detour. Danger.

  “I figured as much.” She sighed as she pulled the butter out of the fridge along with the pitcher of orange juice.

  “You don’t have to wait on me, you know,” I said, trying to hide my amusement over her fussing.

  “I haven’t forgotten how much weight you lost over that man last time,” she said, wagging a finger at me. “If I didn’t make you breakfast and make sure you ate it, you probably wouldn’t eat at all.”

  She had a point. I wasn’t very hungry, but seeing all the trouble she’d gone to just to feed me meant I couldn’t let it go to waste and risk hurting her feelings. “He said he didn’t cheat on me, Con. That he’d lied about that.”

  She looked up from buttering the toast, her mouth snapping shut before she went back to her task. “You can’t believe a cheater who’s trying to convince you he’s a liar.” She frowned, as though she was questioning whether she’d made sense. “Point is, he’s an immoral asshole and you’re better off without him.”

  “Seeing him again…” I took a sip of my coffee, needing a moment to deal with the memories. “It was hard. I didn’t think it would be. I thought I was over him.”

  “You’re sayin’ you’re not?” she asked, looking alarmed. “Keira, please tell me nothin’ happened between y’all last night.”

  “It didn’t.”

  Not even a kiss, which I half-expected him to try for. I wondered why he didn’t. Was he afraid of getting rejected, or just not feeling it? Maybe he was just here to ease his guilty conscience. Could be one conversation would be all it took to satisfy both of us that he’d been right the first time, our lives could never mesh. But I wouldn’t know that for sure unless I had that conversation with him.

  “Good. I’m glad you stood your ground, honey.” She plated the omelet. “Let him know he can’t just march back into town and expect you to drop your panties like all those cheap groupies he’s got pantin’ after him.”

  I didn’t want to think about all the women who’d spread their legs for Pierce. “He wants to see me later. To talk.”

  “Tell him to go fuck himself.”

  I smiled. My sister was a second grade teacher with a preacher-man for a daddy. I suspected the only time she allowed herself to swear was when she was home alone with me. “Thanks,” I said, when she set my breakfast in front of me. “But you didn’t have to go to all this trouble.”

  She touched my face, her smile affectionate when she said, “For you? Anything.”

  I got a tightness in my chest when I thought about the fact we’d be going our separate ways soon. She’d have a family and home of her own to take care of. And I wouldn’t have my big sister to lean on nearly as much. Guess that meant I’d have to hurry up and sort my life out before I was the lone one left under Mama and Daddy’s watc
hful eyes.

  They meant well, but they’d always been overprotective of their kids. Especially me—their baby.

  “Aren’t you gonna eat?” I asked when she sat down next to me with her coffee.

  “I ate hours ago, sugar.”

  I glanced at the old-fashioned wall clock. Damn. It was after eleven. I’d have to find out whether Roy needed me tonight before I decided whether I was gonna make plans.

  “You goin’ out with Emil today?” I asked, referring to her boyfriend. He was also a teacher at her school and they usually made plans together on the weekends, since they were both beat after coaching sports teams and overseeing extracurricular after-school activities.

  “Yeah, we’re goin’ to Frankfort to visit his folks.”

  “Just for the day?” It was a two-and-a-half-hour drive.

  “No, we’ll probably spend the night.” She wrinkled her nose. “But they’ll make us sleep in separate beds. I swear they still treat us like we’re seventeen.”

  I laughed, thinking about how much fooling around we’d done in Pierce’s mama’s house when she’d been at work. He’d lost his daddy before we started dating and his mama had to work to make ends meet, so that left Pierce and Trev to fend for themselves, which they didn’t mind ‘cause it meant they could drink and have girls over whenever they wanted to without the lecture about being responsible and practicing safe sex.

  “Pierce still doesn’t drink,” I said, remembering the soft drink and waters he’d been ordering all night. “I’m kind of surprised. I thought he might hit the bottle again after we broke up.”

  Connie rolled her eyes. “Why would he? He got what he wanted, to be single again.” She covered my hand when she saw me wince. “I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to be insensitive.”

  “It’s okay. You’re probably right.” Even though he’d led me to believe he’d been as broken up as I was about our split, that didn’t make it so. “I heard some of his new music last night. Roy invited him to play at the bar.”

  “And? Was it any good?”

  “It was…” Real and vulnerable, and so unlike him it had stunned me. “Different. Lots of ballads about love and loss. Regrets and mistakes. Not his usual sound.”

  Connie pursed her lips and got the look on her face that reminded me of the one her second graders must get when they forgot to take their boots off and tracked mud into the classroom. “He can write any damn thing he pleases, Keira. He’s a songwriter. It’s what he does. For all you know, he wrote those songs for another artist. He may not even cut them himself.”

  “No, I think most of them are gonna be on his new album.” Which I absolutely would not buy. If I did buy it, it would become the sad soundtrack to my life and a constant reminder of him. I couldn’t have that. He’d be leaving soon. Going back to his life in Nashville and I’d do well to remember that.

  “Regardless,” she said. “You cannot get sucked in by him again. He’s just here to mess with you, the bastard. I have a good mind to go over there and let him have it. How dare he come back here and stir shit up again, especially since you’re long over him.”

  I sighed as I polished off my omelet before biting into my last quarter of buttered toast. “I’m not even sure it’s possible to get over that man, sis.”

  “Oh, yes it is,” she said, looking determined. “And you are. Don’t even allow yourself to think otherwise.”

  “But what if I freeze him out while he’s here and regret it once he leaves?” I took a sip of my juice. “This may be our last chance to get this shit out there… and maybe get over it.” Yeah, like that was gonna happen.

  “Look, you’re a grown woman,” she said, gently. “I obviously can’t tell you what to do. No one can. I just can’t get past the fact that he hurt you before. He could do it again.”

  He could. But if there was even the slightest chance he was the only one who could piece me back together again, didn’t I owe it to myself to at least hear him out?

  ***

  Pierce

  After a quick call to Johnnie Callahan, he was happy to invite me over to his place. Said it would be great to catch up over a couple of beers. I was on board with the conversation, but I’d have to pass on the beers. That was harder some days more than others. Today it was a bitch. It was two in the afternoon and I still hadn’t heard from Keira. I kept waiting for my phone to buzz with a time and place, but every text or message that came through, every number that flashed across the screen was one I recognized from Nashville… and refused to answer.

  I needed to get away from that shit for a while, to forget about the life I’d left behind so I could focus more on the life I wanted when I got back.

  “Good to see you, buddy,” he said, bringing me in for a half-hug. “Nice to know you haven’t forgotten about your old friends.”

  “That’ll never happen, man.” I felt a twinge of guilt, knowing I probably wouldn’t be here at all if his farmhand hadn’t been out with my girl.

  We were hanging in a garage that had been converted to a man cave, housing a couple of chairs, a pool table, a stereo system, a TV, and a bar fridge. He reached into the fridge and grabbed two Buds, handing one to me.

  “Uh, you got any water in there?” I asked, handing it back to him. “Got into a little trouble with this a while back. Can’t touch the stuff now.”

  “No shit?” he said, sticking the beer bottle back in the fridge and handing me a water instead. “Sorry, I didn’t know that.”

  “It was before things blew up for me, so the press didn’t get a hold of it, thankfully.”

  Before he popped the top on his beer bottle, he asked, “Uh, you mind if I drink or—”

  “It’s cool,” I said, chuckling. “Believe me, in my line of work you have to be around that shit all the time. You learn to deal.”

  He looked relieved as he knocked the cap off and took a long pull from the bottle. “So, you back here visitin’ your mama?”

  “Yeah, Trev’s with me too.”

  “No shit? I haven’t seen him in a dog’s age. Why didn’t you bring him ‘round?”

  “Mama put him to work cleanin’ out the garage today.” I chuckled. “Actually, she put us both to work, but I bailed when she went into town to do some shopping.”

  He laughed, pointing at me. “You know you’re gonna hear about that when you get home. Your mama don’t care that you’re some big country star now. She’ll still give you hell.”

  “Don’t I know it.” That’s why I loved coming home, because the people in Albany were still real with me. They all knew me way back when and never let me forget where I came from. “So how many guys you got helpin’ you run this place now?”

  “About a dozen,” he said, sinking down in one of leather chairs and kicking his feet up on an ottoman. “Daddy bought a couple hundred acres when the Wellington’s were lookin’ to sell a few years back, so that gives me a hell of a lot more to manage.”

  “You’re enjoyin’ it though?”

  He grinned. “You know me, Pierce. I’d go nuts bein’ stuck indoors all day.”

  “Yeah.” He used to skip class more than he made an appearance. But then, so had I. We’d usually skipped together if we weren’t playing hooky to get laid. “I remember.”

  He smiled as though he was recalling some of the good times we’d had together too. “Never imagined you’d blow up the way you did, dude. Don’t get me wrong, I always knew you were talented. But shit like that doesn’t happen to guys from our neck of the woods, does it?”

  “Not usually.” And I never forgot to be grateful that I was one of the chosen few.

  “Sorry to hear about you and Keira. I know how much that girl meant to you.”

  I started wandering around the converted garage, checking out some of his collections: old vinyl, shot glasses, even stickers from places he’d probably never have the time or money to visit in person.

  “I made a lot of mistakes, Johnny. Didn’t realize a good thing when I had it
.” I twisted the cap off my water bottle and tossed it in an old aluminum can trash bin.

  “I don’t know if I should tell you this,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “But, uh, I heard she’s been seein’ one of my guys. Paul.”

  “Yeah, I heard about that too.” I tipped the bottle back, ignoring his surprised expression. He probably thought I was out of the loop, or above keeping tabs on my ex. “What’s he like?”

  “He hasn’t been here all that long,” he said, looking uncomfortable. “But he seems like a good guy.” He smirked. “Big fan of yours. I didn’t have the heart to tell him Keira was your ex.”

  “And she didn’t mention it to him?” I knew I had no right, but it irked me that she could spend time with other men without thinking of me at all. I hadn’t even bothered dating the past year ‘cause I knew it would be a waste of time.

  “I don’t think so. He was pretty stoked when I talked to him this morning. Said he heard you singin’ some of your new stuff at Roy’s place last night.”

  “Yeah, Trev and I passed by there for a while.”

  He grinned before tipping his beer back. “Wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact your ex is workin’ there now, would it?”

  I raised an eyebrow. He knew me well enough to know I didn’t do anything without a good reason. “Maybe you should tell your boy he’s wastin’ his time sniffin’ around Keira.”

  “Oh yeah? Why? You guys gettin’ back together?”

  I sat back on the edge of a folding wood table. “I’d sure as hell like us to be, but I made some serious mistakes. Got some things to make up for.” I crossed my arms after setting my water bottle down beside me. “Not sure she’s gonna let me do that.”

  “You and her were always…” He shook his head. “Not sure I know how to describe what y’all were. Let’s just say I’ve spent my whole life lookin’ for that and keep comin’ up short.”

  It was hard to believe we were turning thirty next year. That seemed ancient when we were running around together when we were younger. Now it seemed twenty to thirty had passed in the blink of an eye. I was sure thirty to forty would pass even quicker than that. I didn’t know where I’d be in ten years, but I knew one thing… I still wanted to be making the music I loved and I wanted my girl with me.