Little by little, Alexander materialized in front of me. His eyes were wide, full of fear. I approached him apprehensively, and his face turned paler the closer I got. It seemed like he wanted to take a step back, but he didn’t.
Alexander forced his arms to reach out and hug me. But the hug was strange, distant, as if I were hurting him.
“Alexander.” My words were rushed. “What is it? What’s the matter?”
“You.” He tensed.
“What?”
He pointed to my face, and I went into the bathroom to look in the mirror. A very different face stared back at me. My eyes were sunken and dark. My skin appeared pasty and clammy. I looked sickly and wrong.
Alexander took my arm and pulled me back into the living room. He swung me down onto the couch and sat at my feet, looking up at me.
“I need to know what happened last night. Everything.” His pleading told me I had better think hard about all that had transpired.
“Not a whole lot happened, really. My parents left before I got to say goodbye. I was upset over how you and Hope lied to me, but also upset at how I treated you.” I rubbed my chin, trying to think of more. “After I felt you here, I fell asleep. When I woke, it was so hot that I opened the window. My phone kept vibrating, so I turned it off, still needing time to think.” My mouth fell open as it occurred to me that my anger might have been the reason for the change.
Alexander shook his head to cut me off. “You’re allowed to be angry with me, Aislinn. I know I’ve lied a lot. That would not make it so I couldn’t feel you. Keep going,” he urged.
“The window, I forgot! It was snowing, but I could see heat waves. Then this morning, I realized that I’d left the window open all night, but I wasn’t cold. Then I checked my messages and called you. That’s all.” I let out a long breath. “Do you think the heat waves had something to do with why you couldn’t feel me?”
“Heat waves?” Alexander rubbed his hand along the top of his head, and his eyes closed instinctively. “This can’t be right. It’s not possible.” He shook his head vigorously, as if trying to shake away the confusion.
“Alexander? I don’t understand. What’s wrong?”
He pulled my face gently toward his. “I’m not sure why this is happening. You’ve already passed your test. But what you experienced last night, with being too hot even in the cold, the heat waves you were seeing. That is something the Tirates go through just before they begin their change.”
“What? But you said I passed! How can this be?” Fluid filled my eyes.
“There may be an explanation.” He stood up and began pacing. “I need to speak with the Jarwin, but I don’t want to leave you. Not right now. You may change soon. I will call Kiera and see if she can meet with them and report back to me. Give me a minute.” He held up a finger and walked out onto the deck, closing the door behind him.
I sat anxiously on the couch. Had I not passed the test after all? My vision of rescuing Jaden seemed so clear. Could that have been wrong? Depressed, I slumped farther into the couch.
Alexander came back inside, looking better already. At least he was no longer scowling.
“Kiera will call when she’s done meeting with the Jarwin.”
“I don’t mean to be rude, but isn’t Kiera a little young to—”
Alexander cut me off. “No, she’s not. There are things you have yet to understand, and Kiera is one of them. She is perfectly capable of contacting the Jarwin and finding out what to do.” Alexander’s worried face slowly warmed. “In the meantime, do you want to show me your room? Officially, that is.”
“Sure,” I mumbled as I led him to the stairs.
I found it difficult to stay calm after what Alexander had told me about the Tirates. Could I actually be becoming one of them? Just the possibility of becoming something that everyone seemed to think was so evil made me shudder.
Alexander saw me quiver and reached out to me. We were just entering my room when he spun me around to face him.
“You’ll be okay.” Alexander rubbed my shoulders. “Just because things aren’t exactly what I expected, that doesn’t mean there is something wrong. Please, try not to worry.”
I shrugged, but I couldn’t meet his eyes. “It’s hard not to. I have no idea who I am. Most of all, I have no idea who my dad was. If what Relina said was true, he may be a very bad person. That would make me half bad.” My voice cracked as I realized what I was saying.
Alexander didn’t say any more, probably realizing it wouldn’t have made a difference. Instead, he hugged me again and pulled me into my room. Distraction would be his next tactic.
He looked around and smirked. “Purple?”
“Oh.” A tiny smile broke upon my dreary face. “I tried to follow my mom’s lead and use some color in my room, but it didn’t work out so well for me. Guess I never got around to painting it another color.”
He nodded as he looked from side to side. “Well, it does have character.” He wasn’t poking fun, but I could still see a curl to the corner of his mouth.
“Huh,” I huffed. “That’s an understatement. I would like it to be a different color, but I’m afraid to end up with a circus in here.”
Alexander chuckled. “Maybe when all this is over, I can help you repaint your room.” He shot me a curious look.
“What’s that look for?” His distractions were working nicely.
“We haven’t discussed what’s going to happen after you turn eighteen. I’m not sure what your plan is.”
I looked around the room, as if it would give me answers. “I’m not sure either.” I bit my lip.
“For some reason, I don’t quite believe you.” Though he sounded serious, his grin held amusement.
“Okay,” I admitted. “Before I found out what I was, I planned to work an apprenticeship while I finished up with all my non artsy classes, but…” I met his gaze. “Things aren’t working out how I thought they would. I hadn’t planned to turn eighteen so soon, and now, I’m not sure what’s best for me. Or for us if you’re included in my decision making process. The truth is, I have no idea how much all of this is going to affect my life. So my plans are kind of moot at this point.”
Alexander’s face turned serious. “First, you’re plans aren’t moot. You can balance being Ewlishash and day-to-day life, just as I do. Second, do you want me to be part of your decision-making process?”
“I’m not sure. I really don’t know what to expect.”
“Then don’t expect anything. Just let fate unfurl before you.” He smiled compassionately, and his hair fell into his eyes, making my heart flutter.
When the phone finally rang and interrupted our conversation, I didn’t know if I should be nervous, or glad that I didn’t have to talk about the future anymore. My fears of becoming a Tirate could come true. Ultimately, I had to swallow the bile threatening to rise, and listen.
“Kiera?” Alexander began. “Uh huh, yeah… Did they say why this may be happening?” He bobbed his head up and down, silently agreeing with what she said. “Well, I have no idea, but I will. After what I learned about Yasmine, nothing surprises me anymore.” Frustration crept into his voice. “Keep searching. I won’t leave her until we know what’s going on.” He waited. “Talk to you as soon as I have something. Bye.”
I waited impatiently, almost glaring at Alexander until he spilled all.
“The Jarwin aren’t saying anything.” His voice hardened.
“Why?” My breath caught. “That doesn’t make any sense! If they know something, they should tell me.” But I was pleading with the wrong person.
“I agree.” Alexander began to pace uncomfortably across my room.
“Then why aren’t they? Did I not pass the test after all?” He could hear the alarm in my voice and rushed to my side. He pulled me onto the futon with him, holding my hands in his.
“Kiera said the only one of the Jarwin who admits having knowledge is the head, the one who passed you against some o
f the others’ denials. But he refuses to give details. Whatever his reasoning is, I can’t say I agree.” He stared blankly at the wall. “All he said was that he wants me to help you through. Keep you on the right path. He told Kiera, ‘all will be revealed in time,’ but for now, keep doing what you’re doing.”
“This is insanity! What do they expect me to do? Just follow them blindly? Why won’t they be honest with me?” My voice shook with fury.
“Believe me, I wish I knew. I feel so helpless trying to protect you when I have no idea what’s happening.” He sounded as frustrated as I felt. “Please understand, this is all very strange. The Jarwin never keep secrets from each other. For the head of the Jarwin to do this,” Alexander shook his head, “the others must be worried. Everything about you and your experiences seems to have them baffled. All except the leader.”
“I’m not sure I understand,” I admitted. “Why would only the Jarwin’s leader know about me? What could be so strange that he wouldn’t tell the others?” I was concerned. Did his secrecy have anything to do with my father?
“I have no idea, Aislinn, but the time is coming. It will probably be tonight. All the signs are here. I will just have to stay with you until the change happens.”
“Tonight? What if I’m not ready?” I couldn’t even think with so much rushing at me.
He looked at me seriously. “You are ready. Once you accept that, things will be much smoother. I won’t leave you, I promise.”
“But my friends—” I tried to plead, but he interrupted.
“Can’t see a ghost,” he reassured me.
“Oh,” I groaned. “Right.”
“Well…” Alexander leaned back into the futon. “Since the Jarwin won’t tell us anything about you, we’ll just have to figure things out on our own.”
“We’ll?” I echoed, a bit more chipper at the thought of him still wanting to help me, even if my dad might have been evil.
“Of course. I couldn’t let you figure this out all on your own, now could I?”
“Thank you.” I could feel blood rushing to my cheeks. “I know I was mad last night, but the truth is, I really do want you here with me. Something about you makes me feel safe. I need you here.”
Alexander’s half-grin became a full-blown smile, and he pulled me closer to him. “There is something I’ve been meaning to do,” he whispered and pulled me even closer. His lips lightly brushed mine. So gently that had I not kept my eyes open, I would not have believed we made contact.
We lingered there a moment, and it took all my might not to thrust myself into him and kiss him passionately. The past week had felt like a lifetime with him already. I looked forward to the time when we could be free to learn about each other rather than about my messed-up history.
I could feel his breath in my mouth. It smelled of mint, and his skin was smooth and warm. I couldn’t resist anymore. With a slight push, I crushed my lips onto his completely. I could feel his hesitation, but I didn’t back away.
Finally, reluctantly, he caressed my cheek and pulled my face into his. The heat that rushed through me far outweighed anything I’d experienced with Cooper. I felt like I could float. The desire that had been building in me since my very first dream of Alexander finally broke through.
I could tell the heat was the same for him, because he wrapped his arms around my back and pushed his lips even harder into mine. This time, he caressed my top lip with his tongue. My body screamed.
Alexander’s fingers followed my neckline down, and I assumed he was about to unbutton my shirt, but he stopped. He removed his lips from mine and pulled me onto his lap to straddle him.
The heat rushed to a completely different part of my body. A whole new desire tried to overtake me, but Alexander stopped me, pulling my face up to his. He met my gaze, freezing me right where I sat.
“Aislinn.” He spoke so softly that I almost couldn’t hear him. “Please, we must stop.” He turned his head to the side and leaned in to hug me.
Despite my body’s protests to the contrary, I knew deep down that he was right.
He spoke again, sounding barely able to control himself. “I can’t go any further… Not like this, not until…” He stopped before explaining any more.
I sighed. “Okay. But can you at least hold me?”
“Of course. But we have to keep under control. It would be really bad if you thought about the change while we were… Well, you get the idea.” His voice held a great deal of concern.
I got up, and he helped me pull the futon into a bed so we could lie back down and snuggle.
“When are your friends due back?” He was different now, like he was having difficulty restraining himself.
“No clue,” I admitted. “I think Mel is still with her mom, and the guys were going to hang with Austin for a while so I could have time with my parents. Since they don’t know about my parents leaving, we might be okay for a bit longer. They will probably come back this evening.”
“Good.” Alexander pulled me into him again, but this time he didn’t allow me to face him.
Despite his attempts to cool the situation, feeling him still sent the burning sensation through my body. I was content to stay like that for as long as he would let me. I pushed into his body, now radiating passion, and pulled his arm over my side. Eventually, my heavy eyes got the better of me.
16
THE CHANGE
I shivered and rolled over to face Alexander. His mouth rested peacefully closed as he slept. The sun drifted in lines through the window, lighting just the peaks of his cheek and forehead. I smiled internally, letting the gentle wheeze of his breath relax the ache that moved through my body.
When the dull throb causing my shivers refused to cease, I headed to the bathroom to splash some warm water on my face. As I patted my cheeks dry, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My breath caught in my throat, and the towel fell to the floor.
“Alexander!”
The thud of Alexander falling off the futon echoed toward the bathroom. “What? You okay?” Stumbling over the scattered shoes on the floor, he ran to me. “What is it?” But he didn’t need me to answer. As soon as he saw my face, he smiled sheepishly. “Oh.”
“Oh?” I cried. “Is that all you can say? Is this normal?”
“Yes,” he assured me. “Very normal for you.”
I looked into the mirror again, at my translucent face. I could see the blood flowing through my veins, the striations of my jaw muscles, the fatty tissue over my cheekbones. What would I do if my roommates came home now?
“What time is it?” The possibility of my roommates getting home and seeing me like that put me over the edge.
Alexander looked around until he located the clock. “One.”
“Good,” I sighed in relief. “The guys are probably just waking up and shouldn’t be home for a while. I need to figure something out. Changing with anyone home and fully awake wasn’t something I anticipated.”
“Me neither. Usually, people change at midnight. You must be very eager to get on with it. Your change seems to have started at noon.” Though I felt mortified, Alexander seemed very hopeful, beaming his toothy smile at me.
“What am I going to do?”
“Stop panicking, first of all.” His warm hands rubbed my back in assurance. “You’re strong. Otherwise, this wouldn’t be happening until midnight. So relax and trust yourself.” Alexander pulled me into the bedroom again. “Second,” he announced as he located my bag, “we need to get some things packed for you, and you are going to stay the night at Hope’s house again.”
“Good idea,” I agreed.
I ran upstairs to leave a note for everyone and quickly headed back to my room to throw some things into my bag. Alexander was already on the phone. When he hung up, he looked at me with reassurance.
“Tellah says we can stay there tonight. No problem.” Alexander spoke in a confident manner, but the sound of Tellah’s name sent a shiver of jealousy through me. I
must have grimaced, because Alexander frowned.
“That was Tellah on the phone?”
“Of course. Why would I ask Hope, who then has to ask Tellah and then get back to me? That’s silly. Why not go straight to the source? It’s not Hope’s house.”
“Oh.”
“You sound irritated. Are you still not over the whole ‘way Tellah looked at me’ thing?” His face hardened.
“You don’t have to be a jerk about it.”
“Just so you understand, I will not have you being rude to her today. You have no idea how far out of her way she’s gone for us, in this life and the past. So be nice, Aislinn. Appreciate her offer to let you stay tonight. She’s doing you a favor.”
“I do appreciate her offer, but when I hear that you talked to her, it makes me… mad.” My honesty made me feel ridiculous. Tellah was twice my age and not the most attractive of people. I felt flushed when I realized how childish I was being.
“Of course you get mad,” he announced with obvious understanding. “If Tellah has feelings she has difficulty explaining, why wouldn’t you? Whether anger, jealousy, or even buried guilt, you should feel something. The only difference is that Tellah understands that her feelings stem from another time. Therefore, she reasons with herself until those feelings subside.” Alexander shot me an irritated glance. “I wish you would do the same.”
“I have enough to worry about right now. I don’t need this as well.” I was frustrated with Alexander’s lack of compassion, even if I knew he was right. I would try harder to push aside those feelings toward her. “I’ll try.”
Alexander’s smile returned. “Are you ready?”
“I think so.” I scanned the room to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything. “Yup.”
“Do you mind if I drive? I don’t think it would be too good if you began to think about your state of being and suddenly changed while driving down the road.” Alexander’s sparkling eyes brought our kiss to the forefront of my mind. I flushed and had to look away.
The Heart-Shaped Emblor (The Ewlishash Series) Page 21