Time to Trust

by Rosemary Badger

  With great difficulty she managed to draw herself together. 'No, I'm fine.' She forced a smile. 'Hey, look at that! You've finished yours while I haven't even started.' Avoiding his eyes, she picked up her fork and began eating, not stopping until every morsel was consumed. She hadn't tasted a thing.

  'That was delicious,' she announced, dabbing daintily at her lips with her napkin while Gerard watched on, blue eyes filled with puzzled amusement.

  'There's more to come, he drawled, just in time for their plates to be removed and replaced by others. Kate stared in horror at the dazzling array of seafood. Again her favourites, and she knew she would be expected to eat. Gerard had ordered to please her, but it wasn't food she needed from him.

  'How lovely,' she said weakly, and then did her best, explaining that she usually didn't eat much for lunch because it made her sleepy while at work.

  'Well, that won't happen today,' he drawled. 'Your rosellas eat more than you do!'

  Dessert came, a pavlova topped with swirls of whipped cream and mountains of fresh tropical fruit. It was a work of art. It was also her favourite dessert. But she knew she couldn't possibly eat it. Her stomach heaved at the sight of it and she looked at him with sheer terror in her eyes.

  'Gerard!' she exclaimed weakly. 'Oh, Gerard, I think ... I think I'm going to be sick!'

  He was by her side in a flash, pressing her head down and applying a napkin wrapped around ice from the wine bucket to her forehead and temples. Almost instantly she felt better. The waiters hurried over, anxiously enquiring if everything was all right, wringing their hands in despair as other diners turned their way before looking dubiously down at their food.

  Gerard paid their bill, and assured the owner of the lovely little restaurant that the young lady had been working too hard and had rushed through her meal in order to get back to her job. 'The food was excellent as usual,' he finished by saying, as he steered poor Kate out of the restaurant and into the dazzling sunshine.

  'I'm sorry,' she murmured weakly as he helped her into the car. That must have been very embarrassing for you,' she added after he had slid in beside her.

  Gerard turned in his seat and quietly studied her. Her long slender neck rose like the stem of a flower from her lovely shoulders. Her face was very pale and her lips were trembling. The soft hazel eyes were partially hidden by their fringe of silky gold-tipped lashes. Suddenly she bowed her head and her shoulders shook. Gerard reached for her instantly, cradling her in his strong arms.

  'What is it, Kate?' he murmured against her hair.

  Kate shook her head and tried to push him away, but his arms tightened around her. 'You've been working far too hard,' he scolded. 'I'm taking you home.'

  'N-no.' She straightened in his arms and looked up at him. His eyes were dark with concern. 'I . . . I'll be all right. It was just as I said, I'm not used to eating so much in the middle of the day.'

  He clearly didn't believe her. His gaze slipped over her face, stopping at her eyes which she quickly lowered lest he correctly read the message printed there directly from her heart.

  'Very well,' he replied curtly, moving away from her to start the car. Neither spoke as they drove up the mountain to the studio. Kate felt heavy with despair. She blamed herself for spoiling their luncheon. She had allowed her feelings to get in the way of their relationship; a relationship which meant nothing more to Gerard than what he obviously took it for. They were friends. Nothing more, nothing less. She had been the buffer between himself and his son, and for this he was grateful.

  'You said you would be in Brisbane for a few days,' said Kate as they stood in front of the studio.

  'Yes, that's right,' Gerard agreed, his eyes riveted to the top of her head where the sun caught and lit every strand of her hair, transforming it into a shimmering fiery halo about her small face.

  Kate swallowed her pride. 'Will I be seeing you again?'

  He kept his eyes on her hair for an instant longer before dropping them to her face. 'Would that be a good idea?' he asked, pinning her with his glance.

  Kate shifted uneasily, lowering her eyes. What did he mean, as if she didn't know? Would she swoon again? Pink touched her cheeks, highlighting their paleness.

  'I don't know. It's up to you.' She moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue and forced herself to meet his penetrating gaze. His eyes were so dark today, she found herself thinking, losing herself in their glittering depths.

  He reached out and touched a lock of her hair, curling the silken threads around his finger. His hand brushed her cheek.

  'Of course you'll be seeing me again,' he said almost harshly, dropping his hand and stuffing both into his pockets. 'How else will I know if you're taking proper care of yourself?'

  A happy smile touched her lips. 'Tonight?' she asked hopefully.

  'You're a little witch, do you know that, Kate?' he sighed. 'All right, tonight, I know where you live. I'll pick you up at eight.' With that, he pivoted sharply and got in the car, and Kate watched until he drove out of sight. She glanced at her watch.

  'Eight o'clock,' she said aloud. 'That means I only have six hours to wait!'

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  As Kate had suspected, she was bombarded with questions as soon as she entered the studio. However, she was reluctant to disclose much about herself and Gerard other than she had met him while she was holidaying at Bargara Beach. It was while she was talking and attempting to work at the same time that the peculiar feeling she had had during lunch returned, making her feel quite weak and not just a little sick.

  'What is it, Kate?' someone asked. 'You look a little green.'

  'Thanks,' Kate replied weakly, attempting to laugh which failed dismally. 'Green is my favourite col . . .'

  And then she fainted, falling in slow motion to the floor while her friends looked on in horrified amazement. The next twenty minutes or so became a blur. Kate felt the softness of pillows behind her head, the cool of an icepack on her forehead and finally the voice of the sister in the infirmary.

  'How are you feeling now, Kate?' she was asked by the middle-aged woman in a crisp white uniform.

  'Much better, thank you, Sister,' Kate replied weakly, gingerly touching her throbbing temples. 'I must have fainted.'

  'You did indeed.' The sister regarded her through narrowed eyes. 'Ever fainted before?'

  Kate shook her head and then winced. She had never had a headache quite like this before either.

  'It could be the heat,' the sister mused. 'Then again, it could be a virus. Better check with your doctor.'

  'I will,' Kate agreed weakly, just as a telephone rang. It was for her.

  'Kate Chalmers speaking,' Kate said into the mouthpiece.

  'Kate!' Gerard's voice exploded into her ear. 'What's wrong?'

  'N-nothing,' she replied, conscious of the sister nearby.

  'Nothing? What do you mean, nothing? I was put through to several different departments before someone finally said you were in the infirmary!'

  Kate did some quick thinking. If she told Gerard she was ill he would call off their date tonight. On the other hand she couldn't risk another fainting spell, especially after she had made such a fool of herself at the restaurant.

  'With my job it's not unusual to be racing around to all the various departments,' she explained quickly, 'although I must admit it must be tedious for anyone trying to reach me.'

  She heard a sigh of relief. 'When I was told you were in the infirmary, I thought you must be ill, and I blamed myself for not taking you straight home after lunch.'

  Kate hated lying to him but if she was to see him tonight she had to continue. Besides, she was feeling much better.

  'I'm fine, Gerard, really.' She lowered her voice, speaking softly into the mouthpiece. 'Why did you ring?'

  'I was worried about you,' he growled. 'I wanted to find out how you were. You didn't look well when I left you.'

  Kate smiled and closed her eyes. He was worried about her, he cared! When she o
pened them again, the dizziness returned and she had to fight the rising nausea in her stomach. She clutched tightly on to the telephone, feeling the perspiration on her palms.

  'Gerard, instead of going out tonight how about having dinner at my place?'

  'Fine.' A pause. 'Kate, are you sure you're all right? You sound rather strange.'

  She felt strange! 'I... I really must go now, Gerard. See you tonight, only make it six o'clock,' she added with a false gaiety. 'Dinner won't wait.'

  She hung up and pressed her fingertips to her temples while every bone in her body decided to ache at precisely the same instant. The sister looked at her pityingly and shook her head.

  'You've got yourself a humdinger of a virus, young lady, and the best thing you can do now is to go home and get into bed.' She stuck a thermometer into Kate's mouth, and reached for her wrist to take her pulse. 'Better ring that young man back and cancel your date. You won't be able to make yourself a cup of tea, let alone prepare a meal!'

  Despite offers to drive her home, Kate stubbornly drove herself home, weaving her way slowly but steadily through the traffic and stopping at a shopping centre to buy the necessary items for the meal she planned to cook for Gerard. No miserable virus was going to keep her from whipping up something special for the man she loved despite the gloomy forecast from the sister at the infirmary.

  By the time she got home with her purchases she was almost too weak to stand. She swallowed some aspirin and went into her bedroom to change.

  She gazed longingly at the bed, every aching bone and muscle begging her to lie down, to have a little rest. The clock on the bedside table told her Gerard was not due for almost two hours. She gave in to temptation and stretched sideways on to the bed. Just for a few minutes she told herself, before she fell into a heavy sleep.

  Somewhere deep in her subconscious she thought she heard the shrill sound of a bell ringing. It seemed to go on and on for ever and then blessedly it stopped, only to be replaced by a thumping, banging sound. Kate moaned in her sleep and dreamed that someone was hitting her head with a sledgehammer. She crawled across the bed, small whimpering sounds gurgling from her swollen throat as she tried to escape the pounding blows. Suddenly the room was flooded with a brilliant light and she sat up in bed, gazing bewilderedly about the room, her eyes glazed with fever.

  'Kate!' Gerard rushed over to her. 'Good heavens, Kate . . .'He knelt beside her on the bed, smoothing back the damp tendrils of hair from her fever-flushed cheeks. 'So you really are sick,' he said slowly. 'Why didn't you tell me when I rang you at work?' he chastised her gently as he gathered her into his arms and cradled her against his chest. 'All that ruse over being in different departments . . .'

  'Oh, Gerard,' Kate whimpered against his chest. 'I feel so awful, I really do. I think I'm going to die!'

  He pressed his lips against her brow. 'You're burning up, but you won't die,' he soothed her, smiling into her unnaturally bright eyes. 'Come on, let's see if we can get your temperature down and then I'm calling a doctor.'

  He scooped her into his arms and found the bathroom, setting her down carefully while he fiddled with the shower taps to find the right temperature before turning to help her off with her clothes.

  'This is no time for modesty, Kate,' he growled as she protested weakly, making a feeble effort to hide her nakedness from him.

  He was right, she certainly was in no state to object, and she couldn't have managed the shower without his help. He had shrugged out of his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, supporting her while the cool waters washed over her, effectively reducing her temperature.

  'How do you feel now?' he asked huskily as he squeezed the water from her hair and wrapped a towel around her body.

  'Much better, Gerard,' Kate sighed as she snuggled against him, feeling his pounding heart against her cheek. 'You've been so kind, I'll never forget it.'

  'What are friends for?' he asked drily, setting her away from him while he held on to her shoulders. She felt his fingers dig into her flesh. 'If you weren't so sick I'd give you a good thrashing for lying to me this afternoon!' He gave her a little shake. 'Why did you do it?'

  Kate rang her tongue nervously over her lips. 'I thought you wouldn't come if you knew I was s-sick.'

  'Why the hell not?' She shrank from the anger in his voice.

  'Well, I don't know,' she admitted miserably. 'It's just what I thought, that's all.'

  His face darkened. 'You little fool!' He pulled her roughly to him, his arms tightening around her as he picked her up and held her close to him. 'Now,' and his eyes glittered their warning, 'I'm going to put you to bed and then I'm going to call the doctor. Count yourself lucky that I'm such a patient man!'

  'Yes, Gerard,' Kate answered meekly, completely subdued by that kiss.

  He carried her into the bedroom and set her down on the bed. 'Now where do you keep your nightgowns?' he asked, then not waiting for an answer found them on his own, slipping a white cotton nightdress carefully over her head.

  'Now, hop in,' he ordered, pulling back the single blanket and pink sheet, and carefully smoothing the latter over her after she had stretched out. He had loosened his tie and undone the top buttons of his shirt, and she saw his shirt was quite damp where she must have splashed him during her shower and felt oddly guilty about this. Tears sprang to her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.

  'Now what?' asked Gerard.

  Kate looked up at him through her tears. 'I feel so miserable,' she admitted.

  He sighed and sat down beside her, taking her hand and holding it. 'That's understandable,' he soothed. 'You'll feel brighter when you're feeling better.'

  'But I invited you for dinner,' she continued plaintively, fresh tears flowing down her cheeks. 'You should be eating by now . . .'

  'Sssh,' he whispered softly, stroking her hair from her forehead. 'I'm not hungry.'

  'But it's not f-fair,' she sniffed. 'I wanted to have everything so n-nice for you, but instead . . .'

  'But instead you're ill and feeling rather sorry for yourself,' Gerard interrupted. He patted her hand and tucked it under the sheet, rising to his feet. 'I'll ring the doctor now.' He smiled down at her. 'Stop blaming yourself. Everyone's ill now and then.' He turned to leave.

  'Gerard?'

  'Yes?' he sighed.

  'Are we really just friends?'

  His face darkened. 'What kind of question is that? Of course we're friends!'

  'But just friends?'

  His eyes narrowed on her flushed face. 'Don't knock friendship, Kate, it might be all some of us ever have.'

  Kate was hardly aware of the doctor examining her or of the sharp prick in her arm. Dimly she heard Gerard's deep voice as he consulted with the doctor and then all was quiet as the injection started to take effect. The room was in darkness and Gerard became a darker shadow as he remained sitting on the side of the bed, his hand cool against her fevered brow.

  Gradually he stretched out beside her. In her sleep she turned towards him, nestling against his long, lean length. Gerard slipped his arm under her, pulling her head on to his chest. Kate sighed in her sleep and it was a sound of deep contentment. Gerard smiled down on her, his fingers stroking her hair while the moonlight shone through the opened windows framing them both in a heavenly glow.

  When Kate awoke in the morning it was with a feeling of wellbeing. She was nestled in the crook of Gerard's arm while one of her own arms was stretched across his chest, her hand inside his shirt. She lay for several minutes, not moving lest she wake him before she had had her fill of watching him while he slept. His beard had grown during the night, giving a blue-black haze to the already dark complexion. Long, spiky lashes splashed against his cheeks and his hair was an unruly black mass across the pillow-slip.

  Her eyes slipped down to his chest and she saw that his shirt buttons had been completely undone! Colour filled her cheeks. Had she done that? Her fingers caressed the silky black hairs sweeping across the tanned muscular e
xpanse, toying their way down to the waistband of his slacks and finally resting on the buckle of his belt. A delicious excitement filled her, complementing the wonderfully warm feeling of security and contentment that lying beside him gave her. If only he loved her, how gloriously happy she would be.

  Gerard stirred in his sleep and Kate held her breath lest he wake. She didn't want him to! She wanted to keep him here for ever. When he awoke she knew he would leave her to go and attend to the business which had brought him to Brisbane. His hand came down and covered hers and she looked up to catch his lazy smile.

  'Trying to seduce me in my sleep, Kate?' he asked with wicked glints in his eyes. For a split second she didn't understand what he meant, not until the hand covering hers pressed gently and she became aware of the buckle under the palm of her hand. She tried to snatch her hand away, but he held it firmly and she became conscious of the sudden stillness in the room as an electrifying tension gripped them both.

  'I ... no ... of course not!' He removed his hand and she got shakily out of bed, holding back tears of disappointment that he should so easily let her go. Grabbing her robe from the bottom of the bed, she walked proudly from the room, grateful for the long nightdress which covered her shaking knees.

  Once inside the bathroom, she leaned against the door staying there until her breathing became normal. She ran a shaky hand through her hair as a deep feeling of weakness washed over her reminding her of how ill she had been the night before.

  Slowly she undressed and stepped under the running shower. Her hair didn't need it, but she shampooed it anyway, wanting to take as much time as possible to give Gerard time to get out of her flat and, if she was lucky, out of her life! Oh, no, she didn't really mean that!

  The shower door slid open and through the suds falling from her hair, Kate blinked up at Gerard. He was naked except for a bright green towel tied around his waist. He gave her a rueful grin before having the audacity to enquire if there was room for him. Kate spun around without answering, turning her back to his question and to himself. When she heard the shower door closing she congratulated herself on being so firm. It was high time she stood up to the great Gerard Hunter, letting him realise he couldn't mess around with her feelings. If he rang her during the remainder of his stay in Brisbane she would be coolly polite towards him but nothing else. She certainly wouldn't agree to any dates and . . .